The evening world. Newspaper, May 11, 1915, Page 16

ER ees nn = ee ee ae # en re re rg ae Ay S| ESA A K -? Hits From Sharp Wits. SETANIZED BT JO8RIH PULTE Lad ’ Compeer, ha thw ve ‘World for the United rete fear Jonth é~4 VOLUME & READY TO DEFEND THEM. HE German Cover end ile eupport eon be me informed ‘They appear to think tal party oon th oountry ere drawn = te that German influence could Bight be made to Hegeiive cau Olver Wie propane sue ork Oviorss! mistake! In the face of the conviction whch (er fangs cots have forced upen fois country al) differencme vimappear, eh demues fade, a partion ond reste clowe up the rauke and sland Belgium, Feuvain, Ge Wiliam P. Prye, the Palaba, the Onif- RGM—the Lasitania! The sequence maker but too clear the verrible eensistency of the German pian. Before conceit 20 vast as to be trooncetvable, before rasolve a0 Gaiifes a: to be appalling, the people of this nation are of but one aed. Following Germany's wanton drowning of our friends and Adee ‘Americans off Kinsale wo feel we have but one course open: * Wiest, Germany must be asked bluntly and plainly whether «he Qiftends to purses o policy that means murdering peaceable American Awenallars, drowning helplons women and babies, ; | Bf che replies that euch ie her unalterable programme, then there Meewthing for the United States to do but to sever ali diplomatic "Pbations ond treat with Germany uo more. f Meanwhile send our citizens wherever thay wieh and have e right) tee. With one mind and one sou! we stan ready to defend them. i ee : Atwerten men stand well the bero test, Ané bow often thelr herotem is of the quiet, supreme eort that 's only re | called afterward. te HOME RULE FOR CITIES. EW YORK CITY begine to-day its fight for home rule. { The State Constitutional Convention is asked to con- sider a new article dealing with municipal government which would give to every city in the State the right to manage its own re. ik the article ie adopted, Greater New York will have the power to frame and amend its ewn charter, to own and opcrate water plants, traction Ynes, lighting plants and public markets, to make up its own budget and control ite own taxes, and to fix the salaries and “duties of its own employees. Of recent years mandatory legislation from Albany has saddled the city with some $7,000,000 of extra an- meal expenses for offices which the Legislature creates and salaries {which the Legislature fixes. The new article would do away with the present grading of cities in a first, second or third class and establish a broad general law of self-government for all, Besides freeing the State statute Jbooks of thousands of special laws, it would remove a constant temp- , tation to legislative meddling and extravagance, Up-State citios are likely to favor a plan which gives the City ‘of New York no special favors. As for this city, it is in a state of eanind to welcome the benefits of any general Jaw, however shared, teritwt You Wout A WHAT wurTHouT STK KING GuT oF — — By Roy L. The Jarr Family EXTENSION HAT McCardell Copgright, 1916, vy ‘The Brew Publishing Co, (The New York Jitening World) FLL,’ T guess Mra, Hickott knows I'm through with her,” said Mra, Jarr very sweetly. W eventy i od fi into i “You must have done a aihich shall eventually put its tangled finances into jis own hands, Nast EM er enucbing thie Athere no Logisieture can further complicate them. day,” said Mr. J you look so ———_-92—_ —_—_— pleased.” ‘The stock market has Just two ways of showing its feel ings. But it makes them understood. -4-——— A GOOD BEGINNING. RTY persons arrested and two hundred more summoned to appear in court marked the beginning last Sunday of the Police Department's first serious effort to keep the public parks tidy: aoe nate oR Chief Magistrate McAdoo helped along the good work by im- i fines upon some thirty prisoners charged with throwing pa- boxes, bottles or luncheon scraps on the lawns and paths of a x Park. Director Hornaday of the Bronx Zoo, a leader in the > war against park defacers, sat beside the Magistrate. Fines aver- “aged $2 each, but the Magistrate remarked significantly: “If 1 re- main here these fines will be increased.” Plain clothes men and feven a sprinkling of private detectives helped to catch the litter ‘makers. ne All this is new to New York. Talk about what should be done to rubbish throwers has gone on year after year—and every Monday ; morning in suinmer the parks have looked as if the city emptied ite ‘waste baskets on them. Signs and warnings are wasted on the heedless. ‘Mhere is but one lesson for them. New Yorkers who love the parks will rejoice if at last police and magistrates are ready to teach it. ee ene | = @om* persons will mot admit that; that tt does not leave us much t! “there can be progress along any way|to use it.-Memphis Commercial) but theirs, peal. Haale ule ° ° . ° . . ‘The onty way to save time ta to use A man who is always tell {t.—Deserat Now: - " vy would do in the place of anot! most of the time wrong.—Albany ° . | * Journal. When a man eaye to you, “Let's, 2 . . °. Feagon together,” he wante you to 2 t you have reason for an act, ad-| stem He'll do the reaponing, ven ‘Vises Jerome, you will never h pepamton for an exc . If the joke is a good one it Is better to laugh last than not at all, ‘There| is nothing more humillating than to} he unable to see the point of « good | joke.—Toledo Blade. | + Age always brings us wisdom, 4 * elares Jerome, but t Penstoners at Work. pension and a salary, which cei 1 BS the Baitor of The Frecing World ich certainly looka to me like @ duplication of sa!- meritorious bills) aries, Wou' One of the most . y,| and employee of the city, after twenty Which I believe passed the Assembly.) oie nore of servi CAVE a He ‘but failed to pass the Senate, was that) ond pension and thus enjoy two pen- “that a pensioner canpotj sions? Why should one man be per ! Graw a pension and a salary from the witted to enjoy two loaves, ofty treasury at the same time.” There there are thousands seeking to en |) age pensioners of the city who draw # the privilege of one loaf? J. M. J, not @ present pensioner | “Oh, I didn't anub her; you simply ub that woman, she has no roplied Mrs, Jarr. “But you shouldn't bave hurt her feclings,” said Mr. Jarr; “you wouldn't like anybody to hurt your feelings.” “Nobody hurta my feelings but you,” maid Mrs, Jarr “L never hurt your feolings,” replied Mr. Jarr. To my mind, you appear to be always on the lookout to Ket your feelings hurt when I am talking to you, Gee! If I took up the things you suy to me, I'd have some cause to kick at- pout being constantly saying anything to you?" asked Mra, Jarr eharpl nd if tl ever have aald anything to you tt was becaune | had a good reason to do ao. But you have no right to criticise me; 1 do nothing to deserve tt. 1 suppose you are going to that I should be bosom friends with Mra, Hiekett; she's the kind of a woman you ike, dut she's tmponsible, trying to get with people who don't want her.” “Holding no brief for the judy in question, whom [hardly know,” Mr tare rejoined, “may Task why people don't want her, ax you say’? She talka just as silly and sie woare just as foolis « hat and [aces Just as tight ae voy other woman T know wh nas no time to attend to anything put other people's affairs.” “People do not want we wants to get In with them,” sald Mrs, Jarr coldly. “If | had known would have taken |t ght have borne with her for your She'a always! But for him who doesn't know how to your friend, ‘igre. Hickett, because she shows eho you! so to heart 1) ‘Didn't I tell you T hardly know) | Mra. Stryver im a little more select, and that's why T didn't want M | Hickett to be seen running her Mossibly your talking about Mra. Stryver's party and other affairs where Mrs, Hickett wasn't invited By Sophie | Copsright, 1018, by The Press Publishing Go, (The New York Brening Word) | ND now Old Sol is amiling | { warmer and beckoning to ' A woods and stream and sea | The vacationist is looking, toward that “two weeks off" It should be carefully consid- ered, s0 as to make @ joyous period. What are you going to do? How ny of plod along from day to day enduring ttle racrifices to “save fit are, Jones dresee: up" for the one big playtime of the year? low often (he vacation is marred by doing the trong thing, and Instead of betng beneficial it is baneful! It la the wise vaoationist who has hin vacation every day. ‘The recrea- tion habit must be cultivated. ‘There |{e no better time than the present. combine work and play here are @ few timely vacation “don'ts Don't spend all your money on fimey summer clothes that you can Use only at che summer resort for two weeks. Don't fear being thought wnfaahion- able in order to be comfortable, Don't spend your money for 4 high-priced hotel In order to say that you hay Don't take the child will be forever di Don't reprini fore atrangera, wh enjoy. birnself, Don't be Jealous of your bh he happens to smile at the ting opposite him at the tal our hisbend be he has come to band if dy atte Jungle Tales RS. MLMPHANT waa sitting: l BEAT T/ j T™ ANT TO Pur |AMoTHER LEAF ( LIN MY FIAT , thee, learn firat the way of ha net Sa of ans Solomon ¥ Vee Pees fhe oneag ¢ The ‘ee tenes o Std (hou Simp e One if hen eo det Ware be Kee ouldet carn how fe ber) an . vf thine o@n end to keep thine bustend @ltuin ra oe Mevried Women for thine tn traction Now, there ow tie me a Temee of Beeenteen ow mine adyler, way ing “Revol, my Mother | have jolmed a College of Domenic & may be prepared for the Dar rimony shen ( comet ‘Therefore tell me Fo pray thee, wher (hinge Toeball learn (herein, for | am GREEN, youd And tans raving ~ | wear ( Verily verily, my Daugiter F inow not what thou mayeet LEARN: nin wot T ebell tell thee whatt KNOW, be © thou takest tie fr ptey tothe Altar Lo, to tr an ee property te an accomplishment. but to the cl@bt word at the rent moment and keep el ent thereafter + the Fir law of Matrimony | “Learo the waye of broiling « lamb chop, If thou Wishest, bul T charge hine husband ble clothes righteldeup, ‘so that nothing falleth out of the poakete “Study the arrangement of thy kitebro shelf; but learn firat al! the to put thy button “Por thou shalt soon dise all the world {4 ‘against’ bim, hiding ft away where he cannot find hind upon a and smoking stands and plan tamp: | nooret nook# and crannies of an house, eo that thou mayeat know Just where wiissing shoe or a lost rook or an erring collar anan NEVER qiapliceth tht but taking his personal property overnight and it charge thee, acquire an understanding of parlor ornaments; of ruge sand tea-wagons and like inventions of torture, Which must not be placed in the middle of the floor for a man to commit suicide over, but natied to th “Yea, Journ quickly that « burnt hi @ wall that he may live in safety. ole in the bedspread or upon the table cloth will WASIT out; and that cigarette stains upon the curtains are an adornment and not a blemish nor a cause for sorrow | “Learn, likewise, that when an husband ts fastening bis collar unto Bis full-dress shirt it is thme to ‘go into the SILENC! Mr. Jarr Bravely Defends a Friend Vacation Don'ts Who Doesn’t Happen to Be a Friend. was a pleasant way of impressing] “Why, ver,” said Mra, Jarr. upon her that you didn't care for ber} “Hut when it's a dame of the to call?” suggested Mr. lumpty-tum bunch you are very in- “Well, L suppose every formal, You say, ‘Come right into that wuch,” seid Mrs. Jarr, iy room and put your hat on the bed, “And when they call, when you|and there's the powder, dear (your haven't called, and you take them] Nose is shiny), and now DO tell me into the parlor and receive (hem in| What js going on!" state, that's a sign that you would] “You've been listening!" said Mrs. rather they didn’t come to aso you?" | Jarr, “Of course, we don't make asked Mr. Jarr. company of anybody we care for.” “Where shall I put my hat?” asked n knows 9) Mr. Jarr, “on the piano?” 4 ‘You hang it In the hall, where | Delonas,” said Mra, Jarr. “and you rene Loeb. [kab Sadat N cs ae Don't object to your hushaud en- jJoying games that you cannot play. Don't count every penny “pends while he is on his one holida oninte her roughing it a littls in ¢ y» If necessary. y the thing you fea one erat n't spend all your time loo souvenirs; rather look at the pret So Wags tie World By Clarence L. Cullen 4 Us, (Coparigh. 1818, watts tre Ayekahies PTER a man hae been rhapsod- ically called “My King!" by some woman, who probably meant it at the moment of utterance, he goes through life with the idea mes) that there mus: be something pecu- Don't atlow. your. wite ti liarly and devilishly fascinating about same endlons stitching ut funev were | him. Mut he mead not. It ts confident. ‘spre ly affirmed that every man in the q ion where your i tr t attached to iat te forever oii Doitaen ark | him abeolutely, upside down as © your w 4 ing for fear she cant’ heop | listened to that ecstatic feminine little tolerance might Bittle tolerance might give you both | formula at lease once In his life, Don't be a hermit when y. enjoy the open, ida de al Don't object to dancing on thi ground that ft Is “silly.” It the Very exercise for you, 1 MAY be Don't tell your fellow vatatto: the birda and the trees, Don't make ife's vacation felling her how beauti- Don't discourage her warning vat seein frivolous to you. Why gage enthralled at the Iimning of Aphrodite's limbs when you cao look at the Ii Perhaps you've observed that sons possessed of the Bffiviency: gerle’d corset ads? er auK ¢ ]One prefers warm countries to cold, | body tying his lawn cravat is plumbing is out of order, neither to a “Consider, of which answereth the whistle of th a towel, and another wateheth the and another answereth the telephone. another powdereth her pose and url NOT the moment at which to Inform him that tl isk for a new hat . that a GOOD wife must lave seven astral bodies, ene e dumb-waiter, while anoth coffee, and and anoth eth her hate tetchath another setteth the table, singeth a lullaby, em Understand, 1 pray thee, that a pink boudoir cap worn at the breakfast table will not keap the toast hot, ne! that airy conversation before 6 I’. M. second cup of morning coffee is a pro’ “Know, tco, that ‘keeping house’ plished merely by hiring # servant and tipping the janitor. ither make the eggs ‘just ri and or a humorous story told before the vocation of violence. is an act of magic, which is accom: ALL OTHER effort expended there is ‘thine own fault!” “Moreover, know THIS upon the face of the earth. Even, th, woman friend. These, alone of all th FUL he is, Selah. ii Things You What Casces Malariat . OR years the real cause of ma- laria was unknown, Now it is known to be caused by the bite of a certain Kind of mosquito The very na malaria is leading, as it means bad air, In reality bad air haw absolutely noth- ing to do with causing the disease, that more malarial mc breed in marshy, damp nosauito that gives malaria |s pmale of a species which forms not more than four or five per cent of all mosquitoes, and this particular A gern of malaria entering the by a bite attacks the eed co. puscies of the blood, and this germ breeds with such rapidity that every forty-eight hours it sends out its big family into the blood, This influx My Wife’ | friendly spirit which existed staff of Lumley , Hospital I's a great comfort to have you with me, Mias Reese," | remarked one evening. “I can talk shop with you | and you can talk of other things with |me, Reuily, 1 acarcely know how t | managed without you." }that I am, pert my salury, bul I f . helping to ear your family troubles. Rememb, rl have some of thelt own. ‘> | Don't ry what a great man you are city, expect your summer ac 5 ances to become your bosom friends. jon't let others alwaya , your “treats.” aids Don't gossip about the other bi =| (ne Moon may shine on you Samal ara Algo quite able to pass the Go year Test for rubberativenoss When a woman is conaoious of her new clothes ane looks defiant When 9 horribly aware that he's duda he looks hangdog, de streets and tries (0 disperse hie sense of gull by jamming hits bande into his new and uatamillar trousers pocke!s, eri Don't forget the three sunbeam, vacation are to sing, amile, slumber.” And, above all, whatever don’t be a “*kill-Joy.” Sani 4:| for Children, “You saw me, didn’t you?” asked Harking unregretfully b to the plays we've seen during {he past Season, it occurs to ue that we haven't geen any pisys. (Cryptic atuff! Bur it can be worked out), When the hefged-faced mother ofa “Why guilty "Oh, TE don't know 1 of feel | that your oth ht be the Jones to enteriain 3 1% 1 thonght she me; st gulltily. but t not p ‘know Max Heese | Mrs, Heuiming and Mr, and alice Wert NOON Lo go away ummer, and Jane insisted we | roust give them a dinner before they as water is its native olemont, | By Dale Drummond among the members of the “As long as you talk shop I feel iy when wel: that thine husband hath but three ENEMIES y mother, and thy sister and thy beat ew do not know how WONDER- Should Know conee the famous every-other-da: chill, Most of the terrible tropical fevers in past yoars are now known to have been infections from some fly mosquito, The Indians told the Spanish cop- Quevors of Peru tnat a certain bark growing on the Andes was a remedy |for the terrible ague seizures, A Spanish countess named Chis. cond, having been cured by it, took some of the Peruvian bark back to Europe with hor, | That was the way quinine (@ cor ruption of the Conntess's rarer of the greatest gifts of the gods ty maukind—came® into use in Europe Tt was malarial infection more thar any other reason which thwarted the French in building the Panam« and in building tho Panama malaria played such havoc that every railroad tie was aatd to represent a ancrificed man. s Husband Gopyrigh?, 1918, by ‘The Prose Publishing Co. ‘The New York Breaing Word), | CHAPTER XL. aeeioun I didn't suppose you cared | HAD been fire surprinnd | N00 KD e then gratified to see the ple can be jealous without car ing--in the way you mean, They ca be jealous of their rights, their fm. press upon others, of many things. Of thone things [ am jealous.” - Os rey a auit yourself, It's your dinner!" T rejoined, y mentioned Miss Reese, SST Mas ‘The dinner, in spite of the one ab sentee, passed off very w Jane 4a an ideal hostess: and, w: (ried, her little a ae jayable, wit and repartee © was the brightest of all at the and T was immensely proud of 4 | In the course of the conversation [she mentioned where she intended Jepentig the summer. ho“isn't that fine Mrs. Prentice re- We are all goin Sik Weaks, going up there | AH?" 1 naked ; "Yes, Lucius, Louisa, M x and myself” ‘Then turning tor dae [2You won't have time to get lonely Mrs. Hulterworth, even if the doctor doesn't go. We'll attend to that!” Vhank you, T don't expect to be lonely, although the doctor told me he would be Unable to time with me, T shall have J expect my aister to go with me. “How delightful! Wut, doctar, marked for +) . Mm i in) nave to the young feller who's! left, [ tried to ouject, but she would; Prentice again turned to ime, her?’ snarled Mr, Jarr. °She is a@ M on the front poreh, rocking | M . wailing wpon her daughter, “I looked | not aten, telling me it was only de-/ean you let so lovely 4 woman as your nolay and stupid old dame, so. far ax to and fro and laughing to} ‘eplied his wife \ exactly lke Ermyntrude when T was) cent after the nive way the Prentices| Wile go away withour you? | should 1 can nee, What you talking to. jerseif. a have eeen what her age,” she's throwing @ terrifically.| had treated mie oso 1 reluctantly |think you would fear the bogs man : as doing,” replied the big fallow. | yelocious monkey-wreneh tito that) promived to keep tie evening free, would steal h me about her for? What du Tt care, Bar away she could seo Mister Ble. “I did, bue 1 could not underatand | daughter's matrimonial hopes. Bor| At the last moment one of the guests) 1 laughed, and, before answerin| tt you alammad the door in her face “ phant Jumping rope and Jimmy non it came that you were over there | the young feller {s more or less bound disappointed Jan nd T suggested looked around the table. Althor “phank you for the compliment", Monkey and the Baby Baboon turn. king such a monkey of yourself." | jo observe unto Limeelf, “Lf Ermy's| she ask Miss Heese to take her place, she had spoken the last part of said Mra. darn, “but 1 was very nice ing the rope for him. St ta Benhant looked at Nis g00d| going to look ike THAT in the wist-| "No indeed! RY » replied to my |sentence ina very low tone, I felt aur ler to mit down in the parlor and I) poys had to stop because they were {hing 1 do is grand and noble; and) : } "What?" 1 ejaculated, astonished at) "Oh, nos Mrs. Butterworth ia pi ked her to take off her hat and put} iaughing #0. But Mister Blophant {he @reatest thing in all the world We are quite weil acquainted with Jane's remark, . | fe capable of frightening a | the:piano wn f talked) with herlkent tight on and did nov seem tol uP eeeeamot ies a ue of the 457 writers of magazine; “1 aaid 1 did not intend to flaunt! th man if he becomes ton iat ton t ‘ oe Bay KOp ight on and did ng i guess you are right,” anawered| stories of whom it hath been written | the veawon you have no time for me." | sis 1 replied, with meaning, | fo hour 4 yyer's mind it, There wasn't even a smile his good wife, \by their boosting editors that “the! she repeated; “we will do micely as! Did fo imugne’ it, or did Lustue pat on. his oF gee began Mister Klephant,! mantle of O. Henry” has fallen upon, we ar . Hemming smile a knowing amie Ne wasn't invited to Mrs Stryys| (Ay and by he came home and this) “dont ever think I can imake a them. Yet. every ‘time we meet the 1 ra almost 00 astonished to) (gone almost as soon am Itt came) ex's partys Utwke 107% autd Mts, Jarre Ene gh garth mere you doing SNORE Ure ne AU IB A0G' 120, the *PeYou're crazy, Jane.” 1 auid, “Origen” © MUCM AS Said) “Wait and “You may be suse she was wot. over there?” then they beeh laughed Bave you dose me the boner of being (Xe Be Conuiaued)