The evening world. Newspaper, May 6, 1915, Page 18

te la Aa saat he Evening World Daily Magazine, thioro. ‘|Why Not? « «en. ast ) WHAT Do You ) ‘ VThured ay. May 6, 1915— By Maurice Ketten — -- — Why Women Age Earlier Than Men r™~ eve ctthity VETAPLIFNIED HY ‘oe bd, Hine A LIMOUSINE | WANT ME To Do 2p | iF Sou Wine By Helen Rowland ( HIRE A TAX! of l a BuT BUNDLES are | | t. Mntered at the Port Office at New Tork ax Recent Matter P- ~ NOT ALLOWED tw THE Cereal 8 OF Thee ime Patani Tee Bee orb brewing Wont Dereon ice Ve Ste "ae Peenlng| Vcr Magtand the Continent ; “ shel pd \ Place Auyman's Home Tee wee World for the Critet Btates | All Counter \ DUBWAN DURING 1) sha wire epnake end Conedte 2 Hour & . $980) One Fear RucH RST SAT ‘J | ® that y dear? 16) One Month I Where HAVE you been? Hut ite SIX o'clogk, and we | ed to be there before siathirty, — — ~— —— - - - Yes Tm all dressed, eneept booking No, ou haven't time for LET’S HAVE IT THIS SUMMER a bath, Well, if you're atteky, you'll Just have to STICK! . Of COURSE, )0u must shave No, talcum powder won't do, THRER-CENT PAN the Fort Lee Ferry, from West One Y I know your face te tender, dear, just @ teeny, eens, light | Sireet to Edgewater, Nod, seen ave and you ean use my “Balm of Beauty” to soften tt 1 ! W ng fight in behalf of HUSH, daring’ Well, dont use it, then Ve all your clothes are there on the mort hair allies, ; My : : et y You, | had them pressed. But you MUBT wear them, Joba; Harlem, lias tak = ! RAE TARRG SEH: SAFER it's a full dress affair, Well, 1 don't ask you to do ft often, do 1? Corporation Counse! Polk « ’ 1 HUSH, darling The Sinking Fund Comm ) heard the facts of t yester Yeo, the studs are all in pour shirt Yea, 1 put the buttons tn @ay from Alderman William DD. bb i Whe showed that while the your walsteoat, What! Well, the other watstoout fa at the cleaner’s. 4 i AVE, to wear it’ t hich the city gets under its contract with the Port Lae Hat youll HA perc nlage Which va : " bs ‘ You, dear, oud better hook me pow, before you get your Ferry Company—it amounted to $16,710 in 1918—tay be temporarily alae ok affected by lower fares, the remlting increase of travel will quickly What? Yes, tts the same dress No, I haven't changed the make the city’s revenue from this source larger than before, Since hocks, Yes, they are all there 1903 the receipts of the Ferry Company have nearly trebled. Lower Hut, John, ve PULLED them in as tight as T can stand them, ing fares will result in yet bigger gains tam aa pire ba an bi visits ‘ pound tn the last month, ¥ Fund C ci t th eter Anyhow, I'd rather be fat than dyspept ) The Sinking Fund Commissi pn saw i t vat way, It inatructed fas hot CovTHE:o Bb eerenilic, | a7RRN'E RaterriGw(h SRIGOEY, Dock Commissioner R.A. ©, Smith to overhaul the contract between 1AM standing still 1 AM holding my breath, I was NOT the city and the Ferry Company eo as to permit the proposed reduc. | trying to powder my nose, 1 AM keeping my hatr ont HUSH, tion of fares. darling! When the contract is revised the Public Service Corporation of Here, Let me see if Tecan find that hook (Motions of a@ con- New Jersey, which controls the ferry, will have lont its Inst excuse for @elay in carrying out the order of the Borgen County Freeholders. It enust lower its rater. | Let the Dock Commissioner get to work on the new lease with all possible speed. ‘To thousands of people in New Jersey and to thou eands more in Harlem a three-cent fare on the Fort Lee Perry is going tortionist.) Oh, John, there's SOMETHING wrong! got the outside flap hooked to the inside lining nvent the styles, did 1? HUSH, darting’ OVCIT! You're burning my shoulder with your cigarette, don't stop to kies it, Go right on hooking, There! HUSH, darting’ Well, let me help you tle tt Why, you've Well, 1 didn't No, No, I didn’t think it was going ” ie ‘a to Se a elrous parade, Why? Oh, well, take a fresh tle, then. to mean much in economy, business and greater opportunities for! Dib They LET You dy , ) 1 was only TRYING to help you They should have the benefit of the new rate this S toy, \ _ WHY NOT ) pleasure. ey should have the benefit of the new rate this eummer. Wieeeee “oi a CAN'T Forpip / There's the taxicab, now! Never mind, dear, ll answer the taiiepnesamnaniniastg lj eiinenmascoas 7 OS! HUNCHBACK ‘phone. waal 4 A HUNG r ‘The State's Constitution, now tn the hands of the doctors, Sea ? FROM CARRYING (In her aweetest telephone voice.) Very well, We'll be RIGHT fe still a pretty sound one. Anybody with ao first rate elixir, sib) AE WONCH down! however, 1s welcome to # hearing, a A CHEMISTS’ WAR. HE apparently established use of deadly gases as weapons of war—which tho British authorities now feel bound to adopt as the only means of meeting German methods—is another instance of the utter contempt with which the once vaunted Hague ot HIS OWN Tunhy No, I haven't moved your hat box Well, then, look on the closet floor. Yes, here are your pumps. Hurry up, John; they're walting, 1 AM “keeping my hair on!" Well, what did you DO with your gloves? Let me find them. they don’t smell of gasoline; it's only your imagination, Well, then, maybe it's my sachet powder. | Wait a minute. I can't find my gloves—and my opera bag— It's right there on the shelf. and my vanity case and—well, LET him wait. 1 don't care Convention gets kicked about in the present atruggle. Both Germany HOW much {t costs. and England signed the provision of the convention which explicitly | There! Have you got the tickets? forbids the use of such chemical aids to the destruction of life. Have you got your watch? eS tag: ‘ \ Hi t a handkerchief? __ Now that rapid-fire guns that mow down regiments and shells —— Have oF ce cele thst rip up whole countrysides have begun to seem but paltry death 1 Have you got the address? Wealers, the last bars of humanity are coming down. Chemists already Have you got your money? find ways to make the free air of heaven‘tatal to the foe who breathes aaa cationic oa Have you—oh HUSH, darling! it. Another etep and they ef poison his wells, lakes, rivera and reservoirs. When the chemists have done their worst, the doctors can take up the good work and maybe liberate germs of disease and death | te speed annihilation, Who says Science finds joy in saving life? proud of her power to destroy it. —_———-+¢. Yes, T put out all the lights, I've got the key. Well, don’t blame ME! them as much as you do! Sinks back into taricad and wipes the tears from her eves as the oar Rroom elect, who were now not MMELY | ryrcnes forward. (The Husband, sotto voce!) 7 to be elect’? this day, But Gus and A merry little evening—I DON'T think! the bunch—that was another matter. | Neat aslo CURTAIN. It was fitting that Mr, Jarr thought) Yes, | locked the door, Yes, > No Wedding Bells Will Ring To-Day In the Jarrs’ Baronial Harlem Hall roses Irene Cackleberry Philadelphia, 1 thought it was regu- Jwr er union ivy, but it wasn't, So I've got it on my hands and Gladys They're YOUR friends—and I hate The Jarr Family By Roy L. McCardell OCyrtaht, 1018, by The Pres Pabiisbing Co. ‘The New York Brening Wortd) St ‘ ae She is every bit as sent from ME fateful day had dawned.| Even so, the pages he ‘Lunatic |has got it on her face and hands,;of Gus and the others at this time, — State printing seems to have been profitable to Mr. Barnes, Jack Bliver, ‘tho Sarre'| Lover’ had SER a latimacien of [and so, TU bet, has Jack Stiver—|for at this very moment, swollen with When the lawyers have exhausted what he sald and wrote, will bachelor friend, was to be] Luke the gamekeeper’s face or | there'll be no wedding beils for Lim]rage and poison ivy, Gus and the ° 9 they start In and read what he printed? married thin day, without! hands swelling up, Luke's sudden | to-day." Others Were thinking of hitat My Wife Ss Husband ee, the use of force or opiates, | demise had been dismissed with a] Then Mr. Jarr gave a loud, long seit cabal 5 WHY NOT? RAINING the tongues of subway and elevated guards, as urged by Joseph Johnson, chief of the Public Serviee Commission's ‘Transit Bureau, is not so certain to overcome the “mixed ver- naculars and brogues” which make it hard for passengers to recognise the names of their stations. Some famous masters of English, with every help of education and “high society,” never shook off their native dialects, Carlyle talked with a marked burr. Burke had a brogue, Samuel Johnson gave certain words a twist that puzzled Boswell, ‘The late King Ed- ward spoke English with a German accent. Why expect 6o much of @eubway guard? If the pronunciation of subway and clevated stations needs to be standardized, a better way would be to put powerful talking machines along the platforms to shout the name of the stop as long as the train halts: One silver-tongued elocutionist on the job could keep the ma- chines on every route constantly loaded with the King’s best English. A omh register for the cdok fs the latest thing In eMctency. Guaranteed to keep down the cost of living if you can keep the cook. — $< Hits From Sharp Wits. ‘There is a kind of icy polltenes@ advice, but to use your own judg that is more repellent than frank | ment, what does he really expect you boorishness.—Albany Journal, to do? Albany Journal, ee oars When a man loses his temper some ig always sure to catch It,—Des- News. A man never Keta too sedate to rua to a window when he hears a/ one band playin: Mittsburgh Sun, oret . One half the world doesn't know how the other half finds out what it has been doing. . . Somehow, op tination do ne | same road, ee ortunity and procras. seom to travel the Hirminghar Age-Herald. . . ee Many a man who get c Denese dove not improve bumor| cw any tPA WhO wets sustion asks when it is due to old age. . 7 8 @ A fool with money must expect to ‘When some one tella you not to take | be slapped on the back,—Toledo Blade, BB) so itil ait md Aladin dabll Retell ct atan 3 delta tats et lini Letters From the People ‘What 1 Id He Come Homet Deo the Kdior uf The Evening World ‘Will some of your readers who have gons of their own give advice as to what time a boy of sixteen should come home every night? I have had ‘many discussions with my parents | Comcerning this and we have not com ‘te @ conclusion, DICK, A Plagee of Ants. ‘Fo the Editor of The Evening World | housewife can help me and/ ishing them, you deserve the thanks maany others by advice on the follow-/ of the community. | agree with you ‘ext and adequate only medium for rator and kite 4 remedy for the pests, tell it for the benefit of myself and every housewifo, Mra, J. HL Pral for Ra ‘To the Filter of ‘The Brening Wortd If you have really succeeded in waking up the Mayor, Police Magis- trates and park authorities to do their duty and protect the parks Subject? Porwistent invasion by) that ant, ‘prompt a red ants, followed later by black | punishment is the Keep them out of the refrig-| you. ?) | Af poasible, in closet, If there ia! from vandals by arresting and pun- | me no end of trouble. I| those who abuse the parka” Hthani | fow brief lines to the effect that the sinister Luke had quaffed the pol- soned chalice to the dregs and had expired in frightful agony.” “It's poison ivy,” growled Mr, Jarr, “TL got a dose of it once when T was a kid, Sugar of lead is the best thing for it. Send Gertrude to the drug store for it." Mr, Jarr refused to go for Jack Silver, “He's got a dose of it, too,” sald Mr. Jarr, “and is laid up in bed, TH bet you! Well, he didn't want to get married this morning; ao he should be pleased though poisoned. The poison ivy was in that box of The = bride-elect, Miss Gladys Cackleberry, Philadelphia, as all in Harlem knew, was visiting Mra, Jarr, and on this gentle day in spring was |to be wed,-if all went well, ao to japeak, to dashing Jack Silver, We called him dashing Jack Silver be- cause hitherto he had always been able to dash in the opposite direction when matrimony was on the tapls, Just the evening betore, noticing the bride-elect was nervous and con etrained, Mr. Jarre had approached her, in hia best, heavy-father-of-old- fashioned-comic-opera manner and had sonorously remarked: “Cheer up, my lass! Remember, to-morrow is your wedding day! See tho merry villaxera approv old | } rich man, He had two sons. Gaspar in the lead" (Here Mr, Jarr | QO Unilke the father in the fa- By Sophie Conynigtit, 1918, by The Dress INbiiatt NCE upon a time there was a gasped to imitate old Gaspar.) "And ven the village half-wit, Quabba, |" i } bles of old, he loved them both. He had no favorite. capers nimbly in bts Joy The futher was a good citizen and The next day, the day we chron- Jol, Mr. Jarr's hands were swollen! like anything, As for the bride-| elect, not only her hands but her face was swollen lke anything, She | ‘ oaned, and at fret Mrs, mantic suggestion of Gertrude, the| "00d cltlzens. Me had married a ve! Hight running domestic, that|WOmaa Who had been a REAL Mins Cackleverry, upon her bridal] PARTNER; in tact, the keystone of ee Rae naging tor ove: ut) SH sieoess, He had worked hard for Gertrude admitted horseit she had] lS Tivhes, and although he did not never known of @ bride to die of| ¥i¥) bis « ships lone One day Jim fell in love oor thought Tove, weoclally in all of € Py pect aero that bad been] 1.0 "fia, He remembered his father's | | trud ding of hor favorite aU-] 6.) hem to. devel he W ancloual words, as to choosing a wife, but, § thoress, Hertha M. Mudd, she hat! © develop so that each) pshaw! hadn't he enough money fo: ss ceabteh ice stoms |COwM PUL his hand to the plough | dozen Wives? And what mattered | never read a description of symp If necessary, He wanted to give them if she hadn’'C a grain of sense, when as afflicted) ot love-blight such the rl ght start, and hoped that hi adys Cackloberry, . o j riches would be an adv, Not ¢ in ‘The Lunatte Lover. | iieiy SAVED IRS: 1H or Such a Mad, Mad Marriage!" Bian al boveliere Sanie dae onl, marked Gertrude, “was there an Fables of Everyday Folks as ty KO through the hard- | lege he spoke to them something like whistle and his eyes opened wide in horror. He remembered now that when the expressman had given him the box} of roses and the accompanying areal ivy from his wagon on the street he, Mr, Jarr, had carried it into Gus's popular cafe on the corner, where the cover of the box had come off and Gus, Malachi Hogan, Mr. Slavinsky, the glaaier, and others present had also handled, while admiring, the fatal flowers! Mr. Jarr was not so greatly worrled about Jack Silver and Miss Gladys Cackleberry, the bride and bride- | So Wags the World By Clarence L. Cullen MININE subtlety again, to wit: ‘The really pretty woman, de spite the prevailing flashy fash. ions in footgear, Wears unobtrusive shoes, because she knows that her face is better worth looking at than her underpinning, Per contra, abe upon whom Heaven hath not be- stowed symmetry physlognomical gees in for she t shriek, which sume is a bit of strategy whereby hopes to distaet: your attention trom the place where her facial pul- Irene Loeb ng Co. (The New York Evening World), , One day shortly after, father was called away to the land from which eis no return, He left his riches to both boys, equally, Up to this time they had followed his advice to the letter, But now freedom and an open purse made a difference, John went en in the wa been his wont, studying ha: view of perchance some day needing to plough his own way, while Jim saw the advantage of money and its fun-giving qualities. It almost seemed that the death of his father opened his eyes only to (he pleasures of life as had with ay she had such baby-blue eyes? took her for his very own: In the mean time John, too, had had the call of the little blind god, | | but he refused to accept only the “surface value.” He passed many by, So he @ the present altuation, | this and found one whom he knew liad a OR ern Ie contaaned, “when the |g NOW: Here is your flist chaneo to| heart of soll, and brains to think rue, ie A . show self-reliance, College very) With, even though her eyes were not vengeful Vashti Varveseur had) often either makes or breaks a man. large and wonderful, esides, she passed the poisoned chalice to Clalre, eae imagine that beouus ‘at lye him the man, tet ed » moverness sther hag money that yeu will ale) ‘To make a long fables) ve fone % si a a savaeant let ways have it too, You never can, troph ed and th " whom Lord Bertram was ena + | tell fe ray are | sw Jol wife im- [because she wore a mien so sweet) t Live y put th Jers to the and simple and was not like the| Medestly, be kind, and, above all, wheel and were ab ve some- other girls he knew, oven then,” Ger. | Wile, In your heydey of youth, | thing and go on, But Jim's blue-eyed showld you fall tn te be sure that that love is the real thing. nothing tike love in all the wid trude admitted, "the fair Claire was | not afflicted with terribly swollen face | There is doll did not know the value of money, she did not want the man who did 7 «/ World, Perhaps you think it is dit. not have tt ‘Phe quality of stick-to- and hands, But this might bave | i for a man to find the Tight wome Itiveness was not hers been,” Gertrude added, “heeause the gn. tris not. If he is not blinded by vame to his brother in final poisoned potion had been quaffed by infatuation he wil! see thy despair, Of course, dod helped him; the vengeful Vasiti'a brutal accom. tes of the woman if they but the words of his father came | plice, iniste: aM . the . “You an almost the alniater Luke, the Bame- | wien anything but the h keoper, under the impression that (t | op ‘wes take Wrong woman ‘brandy of the gentle folk.’ to overcome” ja one of the hardest mistakes } back to him with | learned this moral In choosing a wife one who can de a Acipmate as well ae a playmate, ther truth, and he > ehritude ought to be, Reverting to the you-never-can-tell stun, we Knew many years ago in Washington a distinguished and well- behaved lawyer who, physiognomical- ly speaking, looked the pink and pat- n oof & hopeless and. incurable Leaner on the Hard Stuf, Yet he had never n so much as ONK drink in all his life. Movie who loved the late John Iineaments of would bef Whispering to each other, “I gw maybe that jolly-faced old boy don't k Up the Suds!” Yet John's one rivtous ‘age Was buttermilk, The one look at Dia when that notable trons Bunny's ard Th y f mond Jim Brady i pointed ous to then, and whisper behind their bands, reckoa he doesn’t know a singh t Dredging into th irape, huh? he Dazzling James not only never fe, but he absorbs so much orange juice Oo Keep the that Kind of eitrus fruit in- high along the pathy he frequents, They ain't never no tellin’, abo ‘There ts an increasingly large num- ber of gay, care-free little apartments in this town to which, when you visit them, you are expected to pack a steak, or an armful of pork chops, or two or three bottles of some kind Of merry-making Ruddy Fluid, toe interested, and sat reading until [told her soothingly. “I'll fix you’ up same being a sort of social lagnip ra Jane come in, something for your nerves, and. th that you slip over a ‘Well, did you have a nice eve- help you get to bed." J en of your entertainment. If) nin asked, “Oh, T don't need medicine, S yt conform to this queer prace| "Not espec she replied, “tl for yo tients! What 1 Baye you're a block-type Piker to bo was conscious all the time of the little consideration, such aa eet od and taught how to make awkwardness of my position, besides showed , Bhs Rotman your limping exit. Yet we are ac- —-the play was very & when you re to go with Av Q quainted with slathers of males who, As she checked the sentence and that she shouldn't bi discommodea are not Pikers at all and who never-| then spoke of the play T looked ins to-morrow, A hired nurse Rete more theless have taught themaelves how to and now Ut the money was gone forget the addresses of such apart-| “What were you intending to say?" simply because you know tre, a ments. T demanded, ig independent of you. and is eee | fOb, nothing . obliged to endure your selfishness,” | The hardest-working quartet tocome! “But T wish you to tel me.” T pers Twas not angry at Jane's unuetal under our purview for several moons) sisted: “why Was your position aWk= explosion, not even Annoyed, were four persona, two men ant two] ward was tired. had dork circles under her women, from one of the suburbs A married woman who is cons eyes and needed ri © Without Himiral N. ¥,, who a few nights ago,/atantly obliged to entertain without ing more attention T helped her at a clattery Italian table d’hote in| her husband or not at all, who is de~ fasten, clothes, and she wag Seventh Av were trying to act} pendent upon other men to escort) soon asleep. Ube reg‘lar devilish Bohemians, hor or elec remain at home, is always olitary thing | By Dale Drummond | Coprnght, 1915, hy The Press Putiisning Co, CHAPTER XXXVI WAS at this time striving with all my might to make a place for myself in the great gray city, Ido not|man to 4 | think that my object was] AYE | wholly a selfish one, nor entirely &lman to accompany [gainful one, although of course I know | sionally and to | that auccess along the lines T had | sie. entertains, i de arked out for myself meant afflus | Poo) never going to marked Ot toa. But, 1 realty loved | °C {hith me, never going to try to iy profession, Was entirely absorbed | 41 ‘ toe apy and vontented, why in my work, and had there been net} 04), thinn mus tetas you? Did | ther fame nor wealth before ine. 1) Meg George Butterworth would ose should still have persisted in my ef- s : forta to relieve suffering humanity, | onl ans woman (lead the life you Miss Reese came the tiret of the |[hstre oe youn name would be eee month, soon adjusted herself to MY | craved? " Same wes e all she |requirements and the needs of the), * ik the MM, ve Pie) made a | ottice, and conquered—all gut dane, 1 se oS Aerial) John immediately became devoted to } an % jhereand both Martha and Norah liked {@9d while I am young enough to ‘The New York Brening Word), in an awkwar "1 don't see your viewpoint at all. You know and your friends know that | would enjoy being with you if T could, but that Iam too busy a man to give up amy time to social frivolity for a her; Jane was, of course, polite, but | one a r a a and happy when nothing mor unning inte the | tte th f nie re do not think a office as she occasionally used to do, | 1) le thoughtfulness, 9, little unself- ‘and never asking Miss Reese to join | /Sibe beh Fae ompatible with your auc. | the family, |cessi det for yeara you have thought ‘The day she came Jane was giving |Of Nothing, of no one, but yourself, Ja theatre party, and had asked me | 4" jto go; but T felt TE must remain at home and show Miss Reese some of the detail of the office, So L re- fused, telling Jane the reason; ex- piaining that T must be away nearly | all the next day, and so would have ho, other opportunity. T interrupted, ew: Je. “Havea't John? Hav ade you comfortable?" ve had enough to eat and a place f that's what you mean, but nd, starved for love, for anionship, for attention, for ev- ng that goes to make. ul of a Woman the happy ter Tare waa bRMaEnt and to get what you owe me. returned and what is justly due me—I have to look to others instead of to the man who Promised to be everything to me, and prise utifully dressed was very quic rk, even when | made no rem, told me, as the that Miss Bi waiting in thi L saw Jane off, wish her a pleas- ant evening, then returned to the Who has been nothing bu office, and Miss Reese, vider: leve that's w We worked over the books, then T them,” 5) z| gave her an idea of my more im- portant cases, and at half-past ten |whe left me, having a very good idea |of what would be required of her HT found a book in which Twas much rey all "You are tired and upset, Ja you wouldn't talk so. I don't beliets you realige what you are saying, quiringly thought from you than ATo Be Continued.) 2, a