The evening world. Newspaper, September 28, 1914, Page 12

Home re Comie Dire of THE EVEN NG WORLD, Mohdcy, Sestewper 28, SMAITER POP?” 1914. By C. M. Payne a vd we we MUCH TEACHIN, ; I GOTTA PRETTY GOOD ] DEE OF THE TANGO To BEGIN WITH MUSSEER For come Quicr, VAN DELL UNCLE $I ITH FIGHTIN THUM DYA FouLow ME? You'Re WOUNDED ON-THE BATTLEFIELD AND ‘THe “WAR Doc® COMES AN’ BRINGS You A DRINK - Sea ? Now WHEN “THE CAMERA STARTS ~ YOU WANTA Gaur “cLincK® ‘To YOU AW TAM THE KEG OFF HIS Back ae LOOEY and- AXEL TRY (T OVER AXEL, HE WANTS TO PLAY ALL THE Time! Wim axe ® By Vic ' Ought to Be Glad That It Wasn’t 19146, Pubit eer DAW-GAWNN IT THE FIRST TIME ( TRY THIS NEw MOTION FicTURE ee \ BoUscHT, THAT KID HA TO SPOIL. THE MARRYING OF MARY By Thornton Fisher Honestly, Now, How Could Tommy Know It Was His Father? SCOUT. AS NOU KNOW, IN. SCOUTS ARE PLEDGED GOME TO THE ASSISTANCE @NYONE IN O1STRESS AAASAABAAAALAAAPABABDAAAAAAABADADAR Mr. Jarr Buys a New “Sir Salamander’’ Lid. Ree ee ee . “And I tell you had advanced him, that the good lady ipping a wife made no demonstration in force w! bad e strolled out to Gus's after supper. 'Hulloo, halloa!” cried Gus when he t the pale blue Sir Sala- you knowed how becom- hat was you'd throw it as innocent as a Me rst tyes. § ‘chewing | Gum, clove flavored, | tell you. “viove Savureu obewing gum, boon to boosers, eh?” re Hea er Sarr, witticiams directed at my new “I notice you are very hat, but when I make any allusion to your bad habits you emit a few shrieks of protest.” “Aw, @ little kiddirtg about a hat ain't no harm, but it doesn’t fy a fellow Eo meeed those cracks about ‘Whadda yah mean referring poe me as a ‘barroom patriot’ when | done. If you can't be: them in an argument, how do you expect to win by a tour de fo or a coup de grace or handing them ‘ wrnieg? Edward Jarr,” continued john uu hat, but let art any sort with friend wife—you es Pa, ae REWRICH—t got them roses for a centerpiece, Joshua, How de fRicH—a cont a ony Maggie. | id Pine but tor el “ay n ie. e r tl te eixteen “dollars! ou try nene of grat weel pullin’ em roses myself, the four Mollie of the Movies By Alma Woodward Gaperigdt, 1914, by The Preee Publishing Co, (The New York Evening Workl), The Near-Cave Man. |AY, there's nothing to this idea that a sense of humor J tes saving grace! Take it from me, it’s handed me but hard times. Them that’ phs carved on their funny- Yale locks on their giggles i wise guys. Just look at what gesterday. That was an ex- my envelope'll be aix-Atty this Week, all on account of my “Evolution of 11 the afternoon was cast forthe lead and | was y little mate because I was dame in the company whose Egrew tight enough to allow be- around by it. See? Ao) At was great. That fellow i Was she classiest brute youever A dead ringer for them guys to hammer out the bi women folk with nice ws in the olden times h I never posed aw target for a bunch of ‘1 must say 1 was kind of be handled that rough and oer each other when And the hisses! Gee, ionect, st about te: the dents to come out of a zi A. gars esterday thay 4 # | out from un: - | Well, in that place, seeg | La to put in a substitute—Percy De: Now Percy Is one ord ‘hese here liv- ing lies, Looking at him you'd sw. he fed on red meats and beer—and the time bis real fodder ts chocol: fudge and a horee's neck! You kn what I mean. ‘Well, in one part, the cave man is supposed to take up a family size olub, with kn all over. it, id smash a fierce big ston ereens, just to show his m at he could do to felt so inclined. Of course t Je all broke careful beforehand, Percy picks up the stick to deliver the blow and first thing I seen the inng on his extra-glazed mani- cure! That got me going right off. There he stood, draped with animal skins and @ wild, matted red wig— F'ipposed to be a real bloodthirsty article—and sporting a line of finger- Malle that it took som equab a half hour to polish! Then the nnete in the to bruise pale, ene is aye ter robe and wri jt uround the wi you can imagine the atmos. phere there was going to be in t ecene—so right there my se! humor gets working and I ba-bas real hysterical, Percy, he drops the atick, peeved to the bone, and goes and sits behind a fee to sulk. And would you believe it couldn't get that quince to zo on wal the ecene—and fered what | gum: John W. Rangle, but Mr. “Or Jarr, turning around ap- course, an expression,” continued Mr. ‘SE the hat!” It was Drehensively, was re. as he overtook Mr. Jarr, and thus was the mocking voice of Meved to observe his friend was not arms. able to continue insulting his old pal ith wing his voice wrecnias © *Sdoot the bat’ ts simply | Mr. Rangie, ying we could whip the Mire Gus's the Deher night?” “That ne gust bay me correctly,” returned for Mr. Rang! Stiocaree 3 pecely 82 Jerr loathed the lor himself, still rankl aneerall, you sald something,” growled Rangie. “And I want to know what it was.” “I eald that those barroom patriot strain, ‘3 the gink wears Nat like that who ought to be 7% jot.”* “The gink that makes such personal remarks is Geoereny half shot,” re- marked Mr. and be sniffed Ph alficantly, “AW, Rangle. “It's only chewing vored with extract of as bad as the dames, making your Knocks about drinking, when a man is cum cloves. You're | replied M: 'E4 Jarr,” said Mr. Rangle, solemn. ye ree Te tnd saat pilmnmeat of at of th is thing or that wi taking candy from a common expression,” OU ever try to TAKE any candy from a ‘onulat™ asked Mr. Ran- knock, knock,” growled Mr. om NOT ONLY THAT, BUT— Coprright, 1914, by The Pres Publishing Co, (The Now York Brening Worll), ing the new hat, es-| ha shape 5 bars ie cont jtores had artmenta,” and ‘a 0 $5 arr But as no one was within Shearing, he oom off ant again muttered, “At least ese rik wala 1 t couldn't be told from a $5 hat!” But when he got home Mrs, Jarr ceived he new hat with so much 4 Town Balamander—that Mr. Jarr haan’ 't tre effrontery to stand P, hie original plan of duplicity against a, fas, cea and swear it Me grumbled something about it being fine hat for $2, and ha correct change from the $5 Mrg. Jarr was a crank on landscape pease They came to a small greenhouse with a young boy locked up in it. The visitor inquired the reason and his host replied that he had caught the boy stealing flowers from the grounds and locked bim up for pu Going a little further they ca: another greenhouse, the counter, the first and similarly situated on other side of the grounds, and also contained a small boy. "What!" exc! the visitor, as this boy, too, been stealing flowers?" “Oh, no,” replied his host, “that ts why,” asked the pussied caller, “have you locked bim in bere?” “Why, for the sake of symmetry,” answered the host.—Everybody's Magasine. to THEN—HE TURNED AROUND! Copyrigut, 1914, by Tae Pree Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World). ay DO You? LATE AT THE OFFICE. YOU DON'T, THINK FOR A MINUTE THAT \'D GO OUT ANYWHERE WITH OUT, your wife! | ‘the Vibain, JIHANNING POLLOCK cites a oer- tain melodrama, produced a few years ago on Fourteenth street, as containing the busiest and most inconsistent villain ever created, In the first act he tied the beautiful heroine to @ railroad track just as the Mmited was due. In the second he lured ber into an old house, locked her in an upper room and set the place on fire. In the third he strapped her under @ busz saw and set the machinery in motion, In the fourth he tore the planking out of Brooklyn Bridge, av her atonabile Bi Biyaged through ini Pa ee Le Wrecking a Novel. otevhy ao. yaa fear asked.—8' u sustoas N a discussion cf the popular Iiter- | ary taste Theodore Drestér sald at the Century Club tn New York: “Here ia an illuminating episode: A CASTORIA ea + For Infants and Children On Use For Over 30 Years DICINE SALESMAN—$6ir, this b ” hidden in delici The Day’s Good Stories} centaine our famouse jonfections. One will curb the eee need— SAL eeMAN—oF course not. YOU den't take them—you give them te preacner was Using to acritic. The preacher said: ‘ “I thought you tea" Hke the wee of Potts, the novell “Neither I do,’ “Yet in your ret the other day you declarat that Potts's last Bovel was remarkable for its pu: that ite high moral tone was a change from the tainted fict! day, and that you advised ublia to turn to the moral Potts from the debasing fiction so much Le} zi Why, now, my friend, if yot ike Potts, did you talk like Bat “bout him? “'l did it’ the erittc answered, soil hin sale:*” me, Nellie?’ ‘ne | . F H Wits ANEW ENE