The evening world. Newspaper, September 23, 1914, Page 16

COMING IN THE Rome and to PoP, to Por! I “Now WHERE You CAN eT ME A DANDY Tile sada FLOOEY and AXEL , By Vic Didn’t Even Know It Was Loaded. FOREWORD _ Tove You WILL SRE, FA TRYING U1 ‘SAFE: Rasen ah nen e Beau marooned: FRON Tae "omic Page of THE Now SToP HERE AND GROUND ARMS BE snarey!! —_/ Lc JEST SLIP O TH BACK DOOR. AN’ Go ouT To THE TOOL HOUSE an’ war ¢ TILL HE FiRst” IT DOOR: EVERY TIME MR.LOUDER Has) 0 OF LATE ‘NED TO PA. ore, q Th Dat ap the ¥ Copyright, 1916, by the Press Mubtishing Co, (The New | PRONOUNCE YOU MAN > — No rhysical ampeaument. | 4, a HEN J, Edward » W in Cincinnati he had a large,| @way!” exclaimed the fat friend. 8 fat, tight-fisted friend who was always urging him to bet money 0D) paig of chance the advice invariably, but it so expensive that he cut it A certain divine, accompanii his daughter, was much Int al iT PRODUCT nae et p@ND THIS TIME HE HOPES TO DODGE Fare. BUT- THIS TIME FATE HID IN @& CARPET TACK AND OM CAUGHT HIS HEEL IN IT. HE DOESNT KNow IT YET— wT Te Evening World), AND WIFE! y The Vrew Mublishing Co. (The New York Evening World), 6 OU can't go downtown in that straw hat!" sald Mrs, Jarr firmly. “I have been reading in the pa- pers that rowdles assault ‘men wearing straw hats"— “[ wasn't golng downtown In it, | | was just going to step out and get! tho evening ‘papers to seo how the) war is going on,” murmured Mr. | Jarr, “T'm sick hearing of that old war!"| Mrs. Jarr declared, “It was all 1| No, SIREE! THEY > AINT NOTHIN’ GOIN T' HAPPEN T! ME TO-DEX- NOT IF t KNOW tT! “EVENING W You CAN Ger (It FoR ME AT OLD MISS CRATBRY'S +house? COME ON ~ them the way the dreadful bugs flew in the window when I opened it to alr the house. That's always the way, What's the use of keeping out moths w your neighbors main- tain breeding nests for them?” By this time Mr. Jarr had the cover and cushions off the box couch and | the Nd of that popular piece of furnt- ture raised, As he did so he noted with some misgivings quite of flock of tiny moths fly out. “Don't mess everything up now,” advised Mra, Jarr, who was dusting |the plano and did not see the flight of the moths, “Your hat is in the tar paper bag between my fox set, pinned in the sheet, and the children's winter coats, in the brown paper wrappings.” Mr, Jarr brought out the tar paper bag and put his hand in, He drew jheard about before we went to the country and it was all we heard in the country—with your Uncle Henry declaring what he'd Say to the Ger- man Kaiser's face when he met him—| and Aunt Hetty is on the side of the! Germans because her stepmother was of Pennsylvania Dutch extrac- tion and was celebrated for her soft soap and home-made remedies: please don’t bring in any evening papers!” “Whore is my blue soft hat? asked Mr, Jarr, fumbling behind the dusty hatrack in the hall. “Well, it isn't there—it would be a pretty sight if it were, and we away two weeks!" said Mrs. Jarr, “Who has to look after everything you wear ~-and you are worse than the children yout town offered to bet Ed- 0 on @ proposition, “Take him up! Bet Grillo lived | him right ‘This was too much for Grillo | “You bet the $60," he said telly, “I the doctor for curing your At first Grillo) rheumatiam, didn’t 1? I guess you can get your hand into your pocket." Popular fat friend, however, kept —— in the terribie way you treat your ‘ging. 5 clothes! If I treated my clothes the y when they were In a crowd é... he Family. Barnum | “8% you treat yours T wouldn't have | (a decent rag to wear! But maybe it would be better for me if I wasn't so Then, new was exhibiting Siamese twins, they were, is well remembered, a wonderful sen- | careful of the few duds T get! perhaps, T might get some ses once In awhile!” “Where did you put my blue plus sation. nd Their CUriOelty Wee, “hat, then?” asked Mr. Jarr, The youn ‘an asked w at uP _ (00D eANEW ‘inks we ag ens T put it in the box with your win were porn in Slam roplied Mra, Jarre, ‘I it up carefully in ao tar ns and put in plenty of moth Yes, To did find it an the rack just as We were packing to % to the country and J put it away and if I hadn't it would have destroyed by moths, for the peopl next door must be just overrun with nan I pam u aid the world's greatest | PAber press agent “Well, well!" “Think of that, COLLAR LSordGets. suid the visitor. Mary! How good and ous Providence to allow them to be brothers, and not to have ‘ inked @ pair of strangers together for lifel"—C! Journal, yer AAMCE MOUSE HE DION'T BirTe ALL THE HOLES IN THE CHEESE — same OF THEM WERE THERE ENYWAY GROUND ARMS. ORLD, Wednesday. September 23, 1914. we Tae agg OE ggge Rr agg a Noise Liwe Sietime = FRom tel Te Low \ Quick !! CPR PRR PRR er Or KY} While the Jarrs Were Away’ é The Moths Reaped a Harvest! PELL L ELE KEELE KEK ECE KEE EOE EE ee | out a handful of flaky dirty, summing cloth debris. The last moths of sum- mer had chewed the stylish, genuine dust! dollars for tt, too, “Look at that!" “Are they moths?’ Jarr, “really moths “Well, they aren't nightingales; they do not burst into song as they fly away, do they?" retorted Mr. Jarr, But Mrs, Jarr had burst into tears and almost fainted away. “And after spending nearly $2 for moth balls and tar paper bags, too!” she moaned. last March. cried Mr. Jarr. shrieked Mrs. Mr. Jarr. ‘They haven't touched the moth balls or tar paper.” Mrs. Jarr rose in her might and anger and seize@ the dust brush, and Mr. Jarr fled and got him out. Maybe that was the chance he was look- ing for. “Hello, Landsman! How is it by you"" cried Gus, as soon as he sight- SAMMY’S SLATE Mice 1S LITTLE ANIMULS WICH BAT CHEE OR\GUN OF THE SANING Se iT“ FOR WH A MICE THEY FOR ® SOME MEANS AND Fl OF BITING THEM. 16 PLURAL HES HE'S. S(NGULAR SAN AND RUN LICE THE SE wich 'S THE "Cw E's WIMEN SEt “CHEESE IT TY CUT, WICH "SE To GY »E INSTEAS WHEN A MICE A MICE AMD WHER HE'S A Mouse T EN CHEE ONE. 1 PREW LvoKS So SINGULAR ICALLED HIM A MOUSE | STARTED To CALL ALTHU OH HIM P MICE, Jarnmyt Copyright, 1916 Press Publishing Co (SY Evening World) “Oh, that's all right, dearie,” sata | By C. M. Payne Gile Gives A Dous+snuT To ANT ONG THAT ffisses HER THE MARRYING OF MARY By Thornton Fisher This Was One Misfortune Pa Couldn’t Blame on Mary’s Beau. <=> Fhegvro SS we TISHER DID YOU EV CAND PHICLIS— xX Sust Tow FAWTHER A#1 00 ed Mr. Jarr, “Rangle was sayiug he didn’t think you'd come hack ever to this part of town, seeing you set your afire und got the insurance s, It wasn't a fire, and he knows it. It was a false alarm!" “Sure that's what Rafferty said | about It: he sald the fire was a false jalarm, just like you. But Slavinsky sald you'd better watch out next time, and Bepler, the butcher, sald, {and #o did Mueller, the grocer, they | didn’t thhin). 'd come back either, | seeing your ‘vite hadn't paid her bills, and"”—. « » here I am, and glad to be back, too!” interrupted Mr Jarr, “Sure!” said Gus, genially. “After all, old friends is the bitterest!" (ace A BIG HIT WITH A OPULAR HEIRESS AT THE SUMMER “RESORT — terrible, hic, c’ruel war, most naughty war! ‘(Starts to weep copiously.) Been standin’ on one f'foot 1a front of buildin’ readin’ war bulletins ffer hours, hic, m'dear! Mrs, A (contemptuously, as ehe exits)—Huh! Well, I guess you'll f talk about the war now, all right, all right. Mrs. W. (viclously)—Cat! sneueeane aeons Broke Up the Game. dae two football teams are fac- Warologues By Alma Woodward Copyright, 1014, by the Press Piblishing Co, (The New York Evening World), The Excuse Up-to-Date! | ad to go to war! Then you'd have deies! hd Wells's earth: something to worry about! Let's 0.90 P.M. } talk about the war—it'll take your RS, WHITE 18 discovered | Dd off things. q by Mrs. W. (tearfully)—I won't ing each other. | nervously pacing up and/about the war! I don’t want to ak Tense and quiver, the op- down in front of the mantel | #bout the war! I want Henry! posing men it the signal that we i (coldly)—My goodness! 1 didn’'t-know you thought as muc! |him ab ail that ¥ SAD et Mrs. W. (tiring up)—Ob, you didn‘ didn't you? Well, 1 guess you don't know overything. Mrs. A. (soothingly)—Come on, Ella shall put the into play and hurl them against each other in the flerce ahock of battle ‘The captain begins calling the code: #36, 35, 22, 17," he shouts At that Instant the left tackle, who 1s working hia way through college clock. Suddenly she rushes to the phone. Mrs. W. (over the wire)—Hello, con- tral! Time, please? Nine-FORTY, did you say? Are you SURE you're not fast? (Hangs up receiver), Oh, dear, you ought to talk about the| by understudying @ tallor, absent- dear, what @hall 1 40? war. It'll make you forget yourself; mindedly asks te (Doorbell rings sharply. In, her hys- | “"—— Uelde. icp Fen: packate t= Chieu Mrs. W. ‘screaming shrilly)—I told you I wouldn't say a word about the ofd war. 1 (Suddenly ring key, Eve ¢ Post terical haste, Mrs, White falls over Evening Foe several @rticles of furniture.) Mré W. (openi:ig door)—Yes? Who ix It? Oh, it's you! He Mra. A. (entering gayly)—I just heard. thought I'd run in a minute, Why, feet the sound of an explo- | cautiously sounding the! depths of a. keyhole, is Both ladies Jump to their Mrs. White throws the door i + . ope here, on the threshold, stands were you expecting any ono else? Fale: “Walter slimtilivg the wecee” ton Mrs. W. (nervously)—Ob, no-no] wort, In one hand he bears a bunch Tone Jef soup celery, In the other an ry al American flag.) Mra, A. (stopping short) wy, Mrs, W. (aghast)—Why, Henry, What's the matter with you, ElQ?|\ hore have you been? Henry! Anything happen? Mr, W. (swaying to and fro)— Mra. W. (hastily)—Oh, no—no- Bibeen r th’ war b'bulletins, ‘ Oh, it's awful, Mra. A. (suddenly) —Where'a Henry? | Way Mrs, W. (with foreed calm) Why or—he wasn't at home for dinner to- night. (Breaking down suddenly.) Oh, I'm so frightened! 2 CASTO R IA Norman-the new may have happened to him! | For Infants and Child: ’ in Use For Over 30 Years! ARROW Mrs, A. (consolingly)—Nonsense! A great big two-hundred-pBunder like | Henrs! Ho's just gotten tangled up| Always bears - 2 for as? Clustt, Peabody & Calne: with a bunch of men and forgotten that ho has a home, Just think if Signature of lyou were living in Europe and he