The evening world. Newspaper, September 18, 1914, Page 22

BY THA THEA T3Y THA TRooTIFUL Coprright, 1914, Press Pubtishing Co. (N. 7. Rrening Werte) FLOOEY and AXEL By Vic ! oe Vaing ire But—“Private Axel’s’’ * Bravery Is Quite Another Thing! eee Now “THIS SCENE (8 Cauao *PRIATE KRONJAGER'S BRavERY™ AND SHOWS You CRAWLING OVER A DALET- SWEPT FIELD To THOS® BUSHES YONDER. SEE IF You CAN dO THis WITHOUT A osTaKe! THat’s Ta STUFF AxeL! KEEP CLOSE To Ta GROUND - KEEP YER HEAD DOWN Hey! ~ Line A Fate ASK You: Mary's Beau Won't Make Any Hit With Pa | Until He Stops Giving Her Presents! | eR 1 GEE ! VUN BIG Brack BuGt! SINCED YOUR. FATHER WOULONT L&T YOU KEEP THE LITTLE DOG BECAUSE IT NIPPED HIM-NOR THE ANGORA CAT BECAUSE IT SCRATCHED HIM Meaay. (VE BROUGHT NOU THIG TREINED ELEQ. HIS NAME IS ALEKANOER. A& SAUSAGE MANUFACTURETY Warologues By Alma Woodward TRAINED HIM! ‘Copyright, 1914, by the Press Publishing Co, (The New York roping World), ¥ (deacending to mere Eng- Mah) — Wuxtry! Wuxtry! All about the big fight! Man (stopping)—Let me the latest. Boy (tersely)—There ain't no latest. $bey're runbin’ neck un’ neck in th’ tions. ‘Man (with interest)—Say, you must reaping a fortune these days, are buying papers like hot @akes. I tell you it's an ill wind that @oesn’t profit some one. , Boy (grimly)—Don't kid yereelf. Fer all I'm gettin’ out uv it they @n stop the war to-morrow, an’ I ‘wouldn't shed a tear, This ain't no business oocasion, boss, Yuh gotta have news too fresh for ‘em. ‘Man (pussled)—What do you mean fresh? Boy—Aw! at 1.05 the left wing is Being shoved back into a lake or womethin’, an’ at 1.15 they're pluggin’ @’ other) fellera with steel beans. ‘What c'n yuh do with ten minutes’ breathing space to get rid uv a stack ——— H ARWo0D ~ ANEW RED-MAN COLLAR of papes? An’, gee! most folks, ‘specially if the day’s « little warm, take it as a insult if the headlines don't read like they think they ought vocs!| to, Maybe they got bets on it, but, anyhow, it makes me sore! Man—So you don't think the war's going to make you rich, sonny? Boy (looking wise)—Nix! Now, if some one'd only commit a flossy holler when I or even when shut-out. Peop! tikilar then, ‘s buy every edition to see if there ain't something new about it to get ex- cited over, Why, they gotta do that, yuh know, when they get too old to read Nick Carter. But) this wars made every one so fussy! Gee, they think yuh oughta furnish a compass and a pair uv field giasees with each Copy, ao they o’n get a closer squint at the battlefield! Man (amused)—You don’t say? Boy (warming to his recital)—gure! One sink come up to me yesterday an’ wants to know if the Kaiser wus wearin’ bis red-and-blue uniform or wus he painted green, like the trees, too. I tol’ him if he'd hold th’ fer a minute I'd take a step over an’ find out. Can you beat it? r GOOD CLOTHES Gra ‘sis Uy CREDIT GOOD CLOTHEs| * Clothes of Best Kind. Fit and Work Perfect. Business i Confiden Seres ——— Man (looking up the street)—Hell: You've got @ strenuous competitol coming along. Who is he? Just lis- ten to him yell! Can you make out what it is? Boy (listening intently) —Listen! Say, what's that? THIRTY miles ; from the coast? Aw, gee! Now see what you made me go an’ do? Jawin’ | with me this way bas been fatal. This here stock is down an’ out now. T'lrty cents gone to the bow-wows. Don't yuh hear? The enemy's moved forty miles nearer the coast in the last ten minutes, Aw, gee! ——————_——— The Soft Sort. day: RTHUR WOODS, the new head “The criminal lax, slack, is more often the jort than the desper- 2 “Who sald it was never too late to mend?’ a criminal once sald to the Prison chaplain, <pigeve! of the New York police, said at the Harvard Club the other EASY WITH HIM, MR. TIBBE TSI MeNBE (TS. | ALE KANDER. ~~ * LOST= A GoarT, PROPERTY OF MR LEMVEL TNieseETs. ~ WHEN Lasy SEEN WAS CATAPAULTING ABOUT THE TIGBETS COMICIL = HOTLY PURSVED BY & TRAINED FLEQ ANSWERING TO THE NAME OF "ALEYANDER” THE MARRYING OF MARY By Thornton Fisher Pa Quickly Found Out Who “‘Alexander’’ Was! An Unwilling Tutor. in society, had s cook who was not all that a vivid fancy had painted her. There was painting of a more Practical sort noticeable on her in- flamed countenance, the artist being &@ certain John Barleycorn, says thi Gieveland Plain Dealer. The other day the lady decided it was time to halt the domestic ex- Press and change culinary engineers. With a curt speech of dismissal fresh in her mind she entered the kitchen. cook; “it’s botherin’ meself I've been with this dance they call the one-step, hang of it. Try it wid me, ma'am’ an’ maybe I'll/catch it." And with that she grabbed the lady around the walat and went cavorting about the room in @ dizzy whirl that finally landed them me, Get your wind, ma'am,” cried the “an' we'll take er lesson. I think I'm learnin’ fin maid was pretty nearly maudlin with her cook for a half-hour. Finally, the tormentor, weary an’ 4issy, dropped on the floor in a corne! ee ane there staring vacantly. id incoherently, hh ee Left-Handed Compliment. A RETIRED clergyman tells a good joke at his own ex- * pense. He was accustomed to officiate frequently as a vacation supply in a suburban church. One Sunday after service an old lady, the housekeeper fin friend, spoke to him. “I want to tell you, alr,” al “how much I enjoy going to on the days that you preach.” The Glerermnan paid that h jed. she added, with appalling candor, “I get such a good seat then!” a Far From Home. Forestry, ‘who .was recently out Weat, waa a bit sore on the section oe whe), ho Mh icned, and one Bag)’ white out Ww! telly inquires N ast End matron, who ts| “That,” said St young, attractive and popular |‘? ft “Just in. time, ma‘am,” cried the 0 , fon: an’ I don’t seem able to get th’ right] mother hastened to explain, “that I on a chair. The lady, quite r breathlous, tried £0 protest, but it was| era!" tnd other sev ." What could the mistress dot ‘The TLVIA, supple and slender, end might, if opposed, become disor- ‘had returned from a Gert = tour, Each had been trying ry car i‘ Bo the lady, sorely against her will, | ready-made sult. danced in your fat little hubby after | A\ ma'am,” she M *Ferestr of the Bureau of the bird that was making euch a din near by. | Severity of a Motlier. VERY estimable widow in Gér- mantown, Philadeiphia, ts the mother of a son who has given ble by reason of hie eld a friedd gne day, in spenking of the boy, ‘that’ are not firm enough with him.” “On the contrary,” sald the mother, “I sometimes fear that 1 am much “Indead! ' “Oh, I don't mean to say,” the a have ever really taken an: bas csc lll No Range of Choice. Aunt Belle, bulky and benign, No: