The evening world. Newspaper, August 14, 1914, Page 12

08 Ange York. Friday: MARY'S GRANDMOTHERS t EXPENS'! @AH-HUMH: METHOO IS VE. Pesan) PEHORINY BRO HAVE ONE OF THESE BON BONS MR COYNE BROUGHT AY Got VuNt Jos DO WHERE DAS AY CANE “TIRED OF No use! Ya CANT DO ANYTHING WITH HIM WEN He 6BTS MAD (H ANGTHER Mone Worx sane easy Hf BEING DAS GOAT Hers | ALWAYS AY Gur BUNSED UP DOING 1 OS at Isr. Hotory will be known all in good time,” eaid Mr. Dinkston eonorously. cause misunderstand- ing and recrimination, let us discuss the world conflict from the larger aspects of its appaiitn: welfare of civilization.” whi apts ge ME WELL, | Hope Wis New JdoB wilt ALWAYS MAKING Him ACT PARTS WHERE We'd Ger SO THOUGHTLESS OF ME} MIGS MARY! SO THOUCGHTLESS OF me} 1 HAO AN ICE-CREAM CONE P (For Yau tN MN GoaT-TAIL A( POCKET etd | SAT ON iw! s HEY ELooey ! ay DONT Like MY NEW JOB -- AY TANK AY ; BANE TAKE MY OLD WUN BACK. frerere rere reer rere reer re rere ee It Takes an Optimist Like Mr. Jarr to Find That War Yields Some Good FKAKASKAAABAAAABBA AAR NSA NAAR BSS AS “Oh, all right, then, if you apolo-! “Bure, look at the imported beer!” gize,” said Gus. “But don’t say it] spoke up Gus. “I know a feller what again, What was it you said?” “Mr. Dinkston was saying the war would hurt trade,” remarked Mr, Jarr, who had entered while Mr. Dinkston was soaring to the heights of elo- quence. or big glass. ‘No,’ he says, SAMMY’S SLATE Michael Angelo Dink- ston, poet, philosopher, heavyweight champion of the English language, Nictories no less renowned make that out? What I gotta say is this, and that Is that our Kalser wil show them fellers! And, fuddermore, he ain't getting a squar n and tear them up. money enough to do it all day long I'd put them out ot the papers I cal rm vot if I had Dire Distress. DRILLING ON THEI FAVORITE PARNDE T t a@ terrible job to teach the metric system in the public echools of America, just as it is a terrible task to try to get that system adopted even by the grown-ups. We are used to thinking in inches and pounds, and we can't seem to get accustomed to thinking in centimetres and milll- grams, The words are strange, the fractions are more #0, to go by sounds, and then to get the founds confused, A teacher in the public achools tells us of tho table given by @ pupil in an examination the other day. She comments but we won't. Here was his id ‘en centigrams make one pentagrams make one ep!- ams make one telegram, grams make one una- it had time, a sa ured per.onal friendship pro: * Mir, Dinkston act, I was about to speak. “What is it, old chap?” “I fear that unless you improve i‘ to hear you!” snorted “[ want real news what shows ur Kaiser is doing to all them * must remember, xoN Dinkston soothing!: “You need a new hat.” THEM FROM " “You need a new suit.” INNIMENTS “You need new shoes. Man alive, your feet are on the “Quite true,” admitted Wombat, with a sigh. Mttuen take this week's salary and 4 't any mone) - id sian My wite is wore Cz Pee SME wwe news from the sce OR WHERE yom German sources.” the same, they might say It does!" declared Gus, truth, the whole truth and nothing like the truth—as they say it in tho But I want it news what will make me feel good and proud, Why can’t we have news like hat, he; CAN) 2 TING THEM be seven years Dream Little “What's to prevent tures in this country?” ture yestiddy that ve (Ee USKEE to put out old pictures, 1OES running the serious, GROUND under the sea fightin, diving suit, when the aires what hat with a submarin they eught to hurting my busine: 'S INSERTS, THEY WHO ©O FASHING 4 SAY "1 GOT. Y WAY YOU CAN AL TIN ' Vo Wied Y bon? cant THe y T USUALLY DPPE AT WORSE won't extend bi ITS Mo LAMABASTE YOURSELF grocer, out because they are all many and the fact Next women will ha: tons instead of havi booked in the back, put runs a Pilsener sanatorium and \he won't let his best friend have a seidel ou got 'y' to take a shell!’ I tell you, I'm glad I handle only the domestic.” “And French plate glass, look how it goes up in price!" insky, the glazier. put in Mr, Slav- ‘By Chorge! You years’ bad luck to lass, because you'll ying for a new one.” “And in the moving pictures,” re- marked Mr. Moe Cohen of the Bijou ewel Moving Picture Theatro adjacent, “I got word from my exchange that if the war keeps up we ain't going to get any new pictures.’” aking pic- asked Mr, Jarr. “Oh, we e them in this country, all right," id the movie man, “but my exchange manager tells me when I took down the ‘Kiss of Crime’ fea- the chemicals what makes the raw stock don't come | over from Germany, and they'll have, My house is! ‘The Terrible! Misfortunes of Winnie, the Waitress,’ in @ two-reel weekly release. What NOT ONLY THAT, BUT— VS YOU Look WHERE R GOING yeRUMt (Cconrriens. 1916, Preve Pustiening Co T(x ¥, Bvening Werte Mr. Jarr, “Three cheers, say I!" le wasn't forty yards wheo And they were given with such a it my dog. I mas will my patrons say if the series is stopped, leaving the young lady down) leading foreign war news bureau of ng) sharks in a| Harlem had gotten information from ing of million-| the front that everybody had r run over her| victorious. ip, eh? I tell you! p, this war—it's “And I can't get no Westphalla} ham or chenuine Bismarck herring, i ything!™ moaned Schmitt, the z they gonna tax tea and su.| peas, they are very numerous. One far is up, and the 01 wHe flamea Fvhen his Wholesale howre | 28, dit, and he has said Muller, tho|‘Dhe boy promptly brought his old | fashioned six-foot rifle to his shoulder “And I see by the papers that the|and the bullet cut up the dirt under supply of hooks and eyes has given! the dog's feet. in Ger-| boy disappeared in the brush. Sneed, ecross untain cabin and saw thi ) r but- @ mol e thelr dresses; same boy in the yard wi in Mr.| whom he took fo 08 you ends thas bad nowet” aguas good thrashin; hn ighbors believed the will that the neig! be gr ay been ——————__——_ Deserved a Licking. STRANGER was hunting qyvall A in the mountains of Georgia, where, by reason of the wild 1s dog flushed @ flock of wild turkeys, to the rage of a native youth who had been creeping toward them, The next instant the Later in the day the hunter came ie & man bis father. Be