The evening world. Newspaper, June 4, 1914, Page 20

ay > FLOOEY and AXEL—And Besides That Axel Lost 57 Pounds While GEE. AY HAVEN'T SEEN MY 4 PEG6Y FoR YUN WHOLE MoNTH. AY TANK AY, BANE WALK IN DAS STUDIO AN’ SURPRISE MARRIED LIFE—Hank Never Th fu Be READy IN wuST \ f\ A MINUTE PETTY, THEN WE'LL GO To THE TANGU PARTY! “When I told you that,” remarked Gus, “It was on my day off. Never would I even whisper it unless it was my day off.” “What do you m reaped Mr. Jarr. where you stand this minute.” “Hah! Ain't I got a day off when my wife gets a day out? She goes by her relations in Hoboken for a kat- feeklatch, where her sis: is mare ried to a dealer in bottles, Then I ain't afraid to eay what I think. But now I gotter be Careful.” “Bure!” interposed Mr. Slavinsky, the glazier. “Don’t I know how it ts, Gus? Never let your wife know you are going to do anything, and if she wants you to do anything, don't do it too quick on epecision!” “You'll have to explain,” declared Mr. Jarr. “This discussion started about camping, and now it hi reached a point of whispered con! as though we were plotting to {HE “HARLEM|REGULARS” PLAN TO ENCAMP. your day off?" IN'T you think it would be nice to go camping out this summer?” asked Mr. Jarr. “Baush! Not eo loud!” the genial proprietor of the on the corner, “If my wife ‘was to hear you ask me that, to mention it to her would make bitterly right in my face!" other day you told to go camping out,” ‘Slavinsky has said it,” remarked Gus. “But as for @ specisious dis- position, my Lena, bas got it all over Slavinsky's wi! “Hab! But you bri wife being more speci than my but you to admit my wife ie @ bigger sneak about it than your wit said Slavinsky, proudly. “Maybe your wife is more sneaky than my wife, but that my wife, Lena, is got more f you were my broth- » Herman, I wouldn't let you it B (ere! here!" interrupted Mr. “This is getting nowhere! It ry fine and chivalrous for the both rm to kava the Brie yeu 40 in un) nt personalities o} when these Fompoot @ brides—but what will grow| their dispositions or endearing *hi got to do with campi ‘ou were right a bout your camp out since I have been marr explained Gus. “And never yet . When anybody talks aboi id my wife, Lena, will , ‘I'd Uke to see you never let it be insky,” said the glass-put-in but, then, that's because she's thinks I am going out to fish in a camp, maybe up by City Isiand in a tent, and go out oarlocking and swimming. onstrate what he meant by the word “oarlocking” Mr. Slavin- sky gave & pantomimic imitation of an oareman, “Eighteen years we knowed each other,’ Gus — sentimentally. Slavin- sald ‘He Was Seasick! “tars eunny ! THAT “BARBER SAID HE HARNT SEEN Ayer SINCE He Bor Back FROM MEXICO. Now | WONDER. IF - erything in the world I got—up to, My, three dollars, at time we ain't neve go out ther for a camping.” “You fellows go fishing, many and the time you go fishing,” said Jarr. “But what's « fishing when you have to come home the same day?" asked Slavinsky. “A lady will be nice to you, and oh, my, you think every- thing is to be K. O., and then you let her get married to you, and after that for five minutes she don't want you be where she don't know where you man; Mi ‘hat ls # one Gay's fishing?” asked G “My wife, she thinks it's plewly of fun and excile- ent to buy fish the fish store, and, for all she cares that I should have i time, she would expect me to be happy putting the end of @ string into a cup of water.” ‘Well, let's get up a little camping out party!" suggested Mr. . “And, why not invite the la ‘in. “They wouldn't enjoy it, ‘aiid ti" old Gum 'BUT—HE CHANGED HIS MIND! WAY, PETIY, SHE SAID ake We WERE MAREIRD TUSEO 7O AUNAYS STEPON HER. DRESSES AND TAR Sem! Fun for the Home and the Ride Home MAZIEN DAS DIARY Copyright, 1914, Die New York Evening World), PA’S A POET— MA DON’T KNOW IT!) * .RECKON if Ma knew what ‘The Vrew Vuliiehing Go) avuut it bein’ hot a human bein’ vearin’ a big, Cuffy mane, and roarin’ to pay for yqur dinners, He one Wnts family—a and that it doesn't hich way you spell it u mean. I ain't no social jion by no means, 1 I'm in a fair way to be genius.” 7 ain't ain't goin’ to, I'm {ner tind it out for herself our fall advertisin’ comes out. rns her husband ts a risin’ poet, he's goin’ to be apprecia- ted lot more than he Is right now! I got an idea for us to have a feller whose picture and ight = sayin’s would advertise Dobbias's soap on the street car posters and in the zines. T thought I'd call him * he meant, which means,!my Scrubb" the name “Scrubb' id when I asked him in’ well with the tdea of soap. I'd been doin’ she'd be mighty proud of me. She allus keeps sayin’: “If we! only had a literary gentus in our immediate family it would help our social standin’ a whole lot. Wo could make @ social Hon out of him.” When she first sprung that I thought she meant we'd have some one to do some social “lyin'” for us. likely need bu Jepson (THINK ILL GIVE THIS NEW BARBER A CHANCE Then I figured some snappy little verse to go under his picture would be a good stunt. So I got busy and wed some, It took me all mornin’ to do It, but I got two that T thought was real fittiu’ One was: Whenever he'd get into his tub t aroful mad, would Sammy Bcrubb, And an awful racket he'd make If he couldn't find of Dobbins’ Soap a cake! He’ And the other was: ‘, Sammy Scrubb he gays to’his wife “Yeu get a lot of havpiness out of fe.” Bhs answers up and says, “I'm carefree Because I clean house with Dob- bins’ Soap you see!” Then [ called up the advertisin’ feller and had him come ove: Hi meter, Mr. Dobbins.” “The meter?’ I says. “I was somethin’ ghat measures to bust hiaself, says: “You're right, Mr, it is—advertisin’ veri is largely » omy the meter’s spelt different, I might make it plainer to you if I @aid your feet don’t corre- spond.” ‘ “You mean my feet ain't mates? I says, looking down at my shoes and thinkin’ he was gettin’ too darned personal. He laughed again and then he sa; “I was speakin’ of your poetic feet.” “T didn’t know my feet was poetic,’ I says. , “They aren't,” he says, “but wait a Dobbins: thought | bi WHY, YOU HAVE To PAY FOR HER “Papa, what bird has the “The stork, my son, unquestionably.’ pointedly, “will survive any bath, long as Dobbins’ soap goes with 4 WhatThinFolksShou Do to Gain Weight. Good Advice For Thin, Unde: oped Men and Women. Thousands of people tve thinness, weak ner: minute and I'll fix ‘em up for you.” He scribbled on a ptece of paper for a minute, then he reads off what he’ writte “When Sammy Scrubb would take a bath Hts pont would fill with fearful wrat Unless his reaching hand could grope And find a cake of Dobbins’ Boap. Batd Bammy Scrudd unto Ais wife *You lead a very cheerful life’ a i ‘I've no need to mope— I clean my house with Dobddins’ Soa; “There,” what I mean? attention, at that, he the tried advertis Physical culture resign themselves id think nothing Yet their case te hopeless. A recently discovered rej makes fat grow after years ied for ays should produce flesh and streneth by reoting faults of digestion and by uj ing highly concentrated to the bia urishment te obtained ten, and the pea preparat an @ nerve-t it should not be. Weed "by hey wish to gain “at whi eplendia taliser,