The evening world. Newspaper, May 22, 1914, Page 28

wmen Axe! welne conna Leave exico! “we Gots wines FoR US “D Coma Back “To New YORK! Wa SAYS ---.- angrily: man! Why don’t you a little energy? There's in this terrace.” are you, anyhow?” he 1 om Mr. Leese crrisimes the ter. “I composed this march. mind my giving you a friendly Irishman retired with his fea- ‘wreathed in smiles. Next morn- @0 enormous placard appeared 2 his neck. It was ink ard ran as follow Bouss."—New Orleans States. Standish tsa New mT ‘A pupil | “Mo a “THmea 'S No WAR - SO You HAD BETTER Come BASK TW THE STUDIO —-- EG'LAR. A + BIRD! ENATOR MARCUS A. SMITH of Arizona told this one at a dinner the other night to dem- onstrate that there are often very good reasons for not giving a positive reply. me time ago little Tommy Jones backed up against a wicked case of toothache. hen papa atarted for the office the youngster was holding his face in both his hands, On dad's return, however, little Tommy wi back on the job. Y: looking all right again, id the proud parent, th 8 d aching?” was the rather wonderingly ex- dad, “What do you mean?” out," explained Tommy, pulled it just after you left.” —Pnhiladelphia Telegraph. Athoroughly mannish, good- ; looking, comfortable style 2 for 26¢ OW SHIRTS, TROT, & IF SHE'S Yor tweelny Wortahs RITZ, the shipping clerk, met Mr, Jarr at the door of the front room of his ground floor flat. The policeman chaperoning Mr. Jarr had quite some difficulty getting Mr, Jarr through the throng, despite the fact that the general impression was that Mr, Jarr was the Board of Health, ‘The interference was more through curiosity than any animosity. The entire neighborhood was so anxtous to see the fat lady who was blocking traMo in Fritz's flat that they would have almost paid for the privilege. So persistently had they tried to crowd in and give Frits a hand to get his fat sister up out of the folding bed that blocked the egreas ef the barricaded boarder in the back parlor that the policeman had to stand guard outside and the formidable German janitress within, Now, to the cry of “Hore's de Bold of Helt'!" the crowd surged up and after Mr, Jarr and the policeman, Quick action by the janitress admit- ting them in the hallway and Frits appearing at the door inside and let: ting them in the front room of his flat had checked the storming party, which, though baffled, was still good- natured and raised a cheer for the “Boid of Helt'!” as suggested by some optimist in the throng. The general occupation of most of —AND HELP our 1H A BIG “Romance® Fim We ARG Now MAKING "= 0. = hood was working in the adjacent breweries all the day and then crowd- ing the neighboring saloons in the evening. The episode of the fat lady with hysteria had done much to bring the citizenry of this section of the city out im the open alr, to the great detriment of the local retail liquor trade, “I don't want no cops to come in, Sweeny,” said Fritz, frowning sul- denly ai ht of the policeman with Mr, Jarr, “This ain't nothin’ illegal, “But I ain't buttin’ in in an official capacity, Frits,” pleaded the police- man. “I'm on relief now, and I've got GEE , THERE WONT Be ANY Boat TO New YORK, FOR. Four DAYS! ~ weir! or aint MY FauLt @ Copyright, 1904, Prem Pueting On (KY. Eventeg Workt) HAAAABIDAAALAAAARABAABAAAADBIAABAAL A Way Is Found to Release Fanny, Fritz’s Fat Sister AASHAHHLASAAMAAAABAAAAALILAAAAADAA five minutes as a friend to give you| little room at the back had effectu- @ hand.” ally imprisoned its occupant, the mov- Frits was in bis shirt sleeves, Mr,| ‘picture operator. Jarr had never beheld him otherwise and it was the consensus of opinion at the office that Frits had to be broken to wear a coat jyst as horse is broken to harness. The shipping clerk led Mr. Jarr and the policeman to the unfol toling. bed where, surrounded Mrs. it: id several batches of ttle Frit including two sete of twine, Fr Frits, professionally known as La Belle -Rotundi, the Obese Odalisque, lay sobbing. The lower part eof the bed being down against the onfy door to th moaned hysterical fat lady folding bed, noting Mr. Jarr had en- “The makings—fer the love of Mike, the makings!” cried the impounded moving picture operator. “Arrest me if you will, member my heart is broke!” moaned recumbent fat lady. That is, Mr. Jarr now saw in the semi-dark- aa of the little back parlor that but re- “HELP WANTED!” “ating , Ve the male residents of the seighbene' ae tee te one re pin of.those men with boiled complexions who always perspire and continuous. ly wipe their countenances with their shirt sleeves, bes ings!” cried ‘For the love of Pete, Malachi, get a package of tobacco and some cigar- ette papers and a string, and [+4 up on the roof and let it down hime" said Frits to a gritty little bald-headed man who came into the crowded epace wiping his hands on a Piece of cotton waste. “This te rage b gee what has been boarding us years and has been night oiler at the brew- pe for thirty-seven (4 e@ the mak- the man inside, 14 ain't pounded backed into his hay Harold, where Indy, "IT 5) | and gurgied. “Havs ‘anny!" Ouse, “Youse get me ni that!" “If she won't and don't die in the pieaded her brother, olvus when youse say . them—we'll misa them like the widow. “A widow, at her 1 funeral, happened, durii to drop her handkerchiet into the open grave. res saan gallantly offered lown and get the bandkerch! ‘oh giut the widow shook her head. _| "Oh, but Donal’ tt's vere . _ low “‘No,' she said, ‘leave it there, I ‘on Bawbath!” proveaten the e004 have done with tears now.’—Wash-|woman. “Ye ought to use screws," ington Star. Harper's Magasine. RED-MAN COLLARS troys BEST PRODUCT The collar of the hour. Spotted Madras 2 for 25 cty EARL & WILSON MAKERS OF TROY’S BEST PRODUCT