The evening world. Newspaper, May 21, 1914, Page 20

Jarr, looking down at her gown. for ys” Mr. Jarr of the folding bed that blocks d room of Frits's boarder, want to do i , 1 mean—metapbor- | grui explained. all promised Frits, the clerk at that there telephone, WHILE WE'RE WAITING FOR GEORG! “Yo GUT THE CAMERA WE'LL REHEARSE “THE SCENE Wwe'Re GONNA ACT, “THEN THEARR WONT BE ANY SPeveD FILM! “Why don't you want to do it, ta relieve a fellow creature in distress?” | foot fo, Mrs. Jarr. “Who's the fellow crea! retorted Mr. Ji mean Frit hyaterica o: operator?” a mean “Why, we didn't bogs Y,. oe oaks heart ied Mr. Jarr. am ‘Chief Get-Ii tI didn't Jarr impatiently. go — | what te the matter and do everything ou cam for these people and hurry Back and tell us all about it!" “Tell US? What do you mean by us? asked Mr. Jarr. eh?” ventured Mr. Jarr. but remember I want a power torney, a full release from all re- oO sponsibility, and t! firet part will b: to thing tells me that pete to me and that it !s coming on a fast tr “How foolish you do talk!” replied Jerr. “Now please ryn alont and comfort the poor creature—the Pat Fay or the Stout Byiph, or what- 7 name is. You know, a crisis of the nerves man or one's i the blockaded young moving-picture ry distressed fellow ‘t beats in s: for them ail,” aid Mra, Jarr beata for them t¢ old Inbad, the sailor? Why always cast for the the-Neck? Why can't [ait at home and simply sympathize with my fellow creatures? Why do I have to get out on the firing line? Why em I alwaye the invited guest in every House of Too Much Trouble?” “Oh, for goodness’ sak WELL - A BLUBJACKGT AND A MEXICAN GET INTO MEDIATION Proce! “HE SAWLOR HE GETS MAD AND HE -- But, like I’m a big boob, I out of my way to do somebody a favor and overboard into hot water ‘a the deepest, and then I’m anked, ‘What did you interfere for?’ ” “Well, I'm sure I told you I was ug to have company, and it would be very entertaining for you to come back and tell us just what did happen and how it happened,” remarked Mra. Jarr. “But if you did not care to go, after promising those people you would Se Mrs, Jarr tapped her indicate that a man who would ven word in such a man- night. Getting off as directed, Mr. Jarr ateered his course down some mean streets toward the river, where a smell of hops abroad upon the lan- guid evening proclaimed it a neigh- borhood identified with the brewing industry. BUT—HE CHANGED ERE S WHERE 1’ ZY, BOR A RAISE Y 0 on spiritual NGS.) Mr, Jarr located the flathouse where Frits the shipping clerk maintained his menage by the fact that a lari crowd was assembled in front of it, and that good-natured fathera were go-| holding up their children to see what was going on. All the children could see was men and women and babien, all extremely corpulent, as though they fattened on the aroma from the brewerles, hanging out of the win- dows on all sides. A policeman kept a space clear on the sidewalk, but as most of the resi- dents of the neighborhood preferred the middle of the atreet for play and promenade, except in a case of in- tense local interest as at present, the crowd on the sidewalk could not be shia to be blocking foot traffic, “Hey, here comes the Board of Health!” cried several voices as Mr. Jarr appealed to the policeman to get him an entrance through the dense group of friends, neighbors and sympathizers gathered upon the stoop and flattening their noses against the glass door of the vesti- bule that a belligerent janttress kept locked. ~ Then, It Appears, the MEXICAN Gets Rather Peeved! HANGS one on We mexican'’s Ear | THity Littie Ferran WANT-TH To 6D +ome AN He ITH AF WAID To G0 PATH DAS DIARY Press Publishing Co, ing World), wre Be PA IS GOING TO PUT A REEF IN SUDDER’S SALES T was just as I feared. That scheme of Nat Sudder's to boom his soap sales in New England by puttin’ a %6 gold piece in each thou- sandth cake put my tango instruc- tion book premiums on the blink. As soon as his advertisin’ was out, my sales, which had jumped 500 per cent. and nearly caused riots in sev- eral towns, fell off to less than they was afore. Huntington, our New England terri- MAZIEDT tory gales manager, made a fiying trip to New York to-day, I expected to see him come crawilin’ in with his face as long as a hitchin’ post, but instead he came bustin’ in with a smile thmt was so wide he couldn't hardly get it through the door. “Don't wort Mr. says, stickin’ holes of his clgar until most knocked his atraw hat off his head humbs in the arm- When a bred-in-the-bons gets to talkin’ slang, I know he's more or less excited, but while Missouri I'm from both places. 1," [ says, frownin’, “If you you're fired. For I couldn't be y bluer if I was makin’ indigo in- ad of soap, and I ain't in any mood r trifiin’.”” “HELP WANTED!” Dobbins,” he| fi and tiltin’ up his/lot ta aay,” he says. “I SOMETHIN’ for NOTHIN’! “It my idea ain't @ ‘lollapalooeer’ I'll cheerfully “resign and save you the trouble,” he ‘Listen—Sud. der's got anything else world. “It looks from the road as though hy fas pretty near right,’ I says. ain't—he's wrong,” he says. New Englander myself. They like the chance for a big return on @ small investment are for five cent. BUT— somethin’ they like a whole ITTER.” ‘What's that?” I says. gettin’ He let me che mn this for a idea?” “Do you get the lo,” I way an I Go, joas, you'd be sacrifice two cakes out of every dozen sold to get a etrangle hold on that territory, wouldn't you?” “Td aacrifice three,” I aays, “You won't have ¢o,” he says. “Two's three’s a crowd. Now, Naten to the big idea. It’s so simple you'd better have @ bucket of water brought im, for you'll faint when you hear it” “Get to the point,” I eays. “Get to the poin: “Sure,” ys, “here it is. Have this: ‘Does he play bridge much?" “Not much.” “Billiards, maybe? “Nothing to speak of.” “Any good at chess?” “He plays badly.” “Does he go im for any outdoor sports?" “At long intervals.” “Then what on earth does he do?” asked the bewildered man finally. “The rarest thing possible,” snapped the other. “He works.”—Pearson’s Weekly. An Easy Way to Get Fat and Be Strong ‘The trouble with most thin folks who wish to gel ight | © chinness |. You fat until your digestive tract the food you ei ‘Thanks t rgans to hell into rich, fat-ladem master-stroke of modern called Sargol_ and has be ‘builders, one cake in every dozen marked, You | P° can Ax @ special mold to turn out the marked cakes in a batch and then sort ‘em into the plain dozens; and then advertise that whoever buys of the marked cakes—one in e' dozen, mind you, to make the lively—whoever buys a marked ca —now get thie—whoever buys a marked cake, not only gets that cak: free, but gets another to boot—tree! “And tf the second one is marked?" “Then they get another,” he says. “It only gives ‘em another spur!” And, by Gummy, I'm goin’ to do it! fon oe What He Did. HEN Bir Beauchamp was ap- pointed to his first post in In- dia one of his subcrdinates, who 414 not know him, tried to Gnd tomach troubles, be by those whe de eet wish to gain ten pounds or more,