The evening world. Newspaper, May 20, 1914, Page 20

he YA OUGHTA ear. THIS uv Tee Ferran Ge Wn wer Aver 7 Vou'ne an AMERICAN BOROR AND Cm A mmxreae Gua wuer's IngATED Tue wae! Vou Case ma any GGoRneG ‘8 Gorn SELLING AT A PREMIUM. “All a quarter, ‘copt that one, and much are these puppies, little he's 35 cents, He allowed a dime yesterday!”—People'’s Home Journal. COLLARS : / troys BEST PRODUCT The collars of thehour. 2 for 25 cts. By Rov b MsCardell Copyright, 1014, La Hiab! Co, ett ea Wit CWeaive eae MRS. JARR SCORES AS A CONSISTENT WOMAN. HAT do you think,” re- marked Mr. Jarr at the supper table, “Frits, the shipping clerk, wanted me to come up to his house this evening”— “You did perfectly right,” put in Mra. Jarr without giving him time to finish, “You did perfectly right! It is not your place to get familiar with those people. Oh, very worthy, I have no doubt, but it is just as well. Isn't he the very stocky man who comes out in his shirt sleeves and swears at the truck drivers when goods are being taken away or de- livered at your firm's?” “He's the very party,” replied Mr. Jarr, “But I was going to say that it wasn't for the social amenities that Fritz asked me to his dwelling place, on the upper East Side, among the breweries.” “I'm glad you didn’t go if it was among breweries!” anapped Mra. Jarr, bad enough living near that dreadful Gus's place on the corner, though I suppose you and your friends would be happier if did live among the breweries. * won't 4 ¢ brag about how the shipping beside a lot of breweries ish me to move in such a neigh- Breweries ey, sult you, but I have my children to think of, Brewerlea, indeed!” “Children, leave the room!" said Mrs. Jarr, interrupting his protests. So Mr, Jarr kept silent, and then Mrs. Jarr commenced to choke. I'm sure,” she sobbed, “I'm sure, when people see you walking down the street with a smile on your face, little do they deem what your real nature is! Would anybody believe it, if they knew you came home and started to quarrel violently with me in the pres- ence of these lambs, because a ship- ping clerk brars to you he lives in a brewery, und then you say to your- T ll_move my family into a Oh, to think it would come | “Come to what?” asked the bewil- | dered Mr. Jarr, do not want to live in, around or anyways nm brewery. I'm just telling you" “Oh, please, please, do not repeat it!" Interrupted Mra. Jarr. “I only know that when IT did object and when I asked you not to say another word for the sake of the children, you commenced to roar at me! “But, my dear,” pleaded Mr. Jarr. “I didn't roar to roar at you. “Then you ait there glum and silent and it's all the same thing. you, I don't intend when I was interested at what the shipping clerk did invite you to a brewery for, you sit glum and silent!" “But I'm not sitting glum and) silent, I was going to tell you what Frits wanted me to come up to his house for,” “I don't wish to hear it! Please don’t say another word on the mat- | ter’ Mrs. Jurr commanded, Then! erect and quiet to hear Mr, ! v's explanation, was going to tell you that sister, the fat lady, has a hys- terical attack, and that she’s up at Fritz's little home lying weeping in folding bed and saving: her heart Just | bi To 6we -+Him ENNY or SU ied and the Ride Ho A M PIN Yo SAY IT FOR hysterical because she wants eideshow work for the lyric Mr. Jarr_ went on when ho hance. “But that isn’t the worst of it. Fritz tells me that ing bed being down and his refusjng to stir, and nobody al to lift her out of bed, it blocks the door to the back parlor, where thelr boarder, a young moving picture operator, is confined. The young man get out, and they have to hand tog pole across the dowmor let It di re wb the roof, and Le's been there several | st, 2 “I refused to go matter. Krits had his nerve asking He thinks I have some influ-, with the hysterical fat lady. @olng to keep away | CASTORIA quired, “Thero goes the telephone!” | And she ran to unswer it, | “Certainly, Mr, Fritz," Mr, Jarr) heard her say; “my husband will be right over. He was just telling me he thought he should drop around.” ————— AND IT WAS. A teacher recently received the fol- lowing from the mother of an absent + please egennse Wills, He didn't "1 key) him hoine feat come and wd ert lo be tise dia’ what reapeck, MRR, ign’ Home Journal. Infante and Childrea.. Jumping at Conclusions. O not jump at conclusions and do not be hasty in judg- ment,” said Strickland W. Gillan. “To tlustrate my story I will tell a story of August, my pet dog. August was always jumping at con- clusions. “He would run out Into the street to jump at them. “When a horse went by August would jump at his conclusion. “When a cow went by August would jump at her conclusion, “One day a mule went-by and Au- gust jumped at the mule’s conclusion and the mule kicked, “That was the last of August. “And the next day was the first of September.”—Chicago Pi Standish is a New Willie’s Confession. ITTLE WILLIE had been very Naughty—so much av, in fact that after having reproved nim” several times his mother was at laa! forced to severely punish him, When his father arrived home tm ening he at once perceived that He's eyes were suspiciously red. Vhat's the matter, sondy?? ge fy yorbtaes" respondea Willie, don't be frightenes jer, in coaxing tones, out it; I want to know,” fllle remained silent for some time, then he suddenly burst out; —~ “Well, if you must know, I've hee a thundering row with your wits. Pearson's Weekly, » Athoroughly mannish, good. 5 ¥ looking, comfortable style | 2 for 85