The evening world. Newspaper, April 28, 1914, Page 18

Uright, though!" sa Soy Fae fonts! a New York. Tues PF Iwu2 Twins ,WouL We Bot} BE Your LITTLE Sends Back a Wireless of GREAT Importance Sue “Pucwen FILM Company” PECTS You To GEND BACK : GREAT FILMS OF Good BYE AND coop Luck! MF You WANT ANYTHING - .SCND me A wirecess EE From THe sHipt Good Don'T FoRGET THE WIRELESS \F You NEED ae eve! ANY THING OF GREAT 1 IMPORTANCE « WELL AXEL - we'Re on OUR, Way Yo maxico! TAKE A LAST Loo aT Coney wsLano! 1914, ty The Poms Polishing © | way with a lot of people, yuh know!” And she handed Mr. Jurr a paste- (The Wow York Brening World.) JARR’S EDUCATION BECOMES BROADENED. |: ROSIE ROTUNDI, The Obene Odalisque HE very fat lady came into} : the parlor car and greeted] ; Mr. ‘Jarr with joy, knowing him by. a none too flattering description in the minature ng-pot script of the letter writ- her by her brother, Fritz, the ping clerk with Mr. Jarr’s firm, As for the tron-jawed lady, the Mitant lecturing feminist who had} rded him on this journey as a n vulture, the fact that the| traveller welghed four hundred dz did not absolve Mr. Jarr in eyes. What matter to human vul- thought the tron-Jawed lady, much thelr fair young victims " ht “And so you're Mr, Jarr!" began very fat young lady. “I'd a owed you from the way me brother ites me you look! Only he don't your map Is as intolligent as I . He's got the way your hair's get- thin on the top of your bean al- La Danse Claasiques. f course that Jast ts just a at explained the fat young lady. ing, juggling or someth' really dance, you kno’ me. I got a great te small projecting m have little colored me, {t ought to week in vaudeville In iLL BETCHA CANT RIDE HIM ir, Jarr murmured how pleased he to meet the sister of the de- tively frank Fritz, and looked u for a getaway. But the fat lady was in front of him and fron-jawed militant ferinist was him, and, anyway, the train on. ‘9 my card, go's you'll know better!" the fat young woman 1," “But | these days you gotta double in some-| thrown on r to have a| wanted to and | ¢« \ a ‘ wetkore, / BETCHA) that's why I'm going to the big time heddquartera to see if I can get Kked, jest for the novelty of It." Jarr admitted that she showed | acumen to take her plentiful | personality and her novel idea to the very head and front of vaudeville art. e, 1 know," the fat young lady continued. ‘What's doing in the Mid- dle States? Nothing but store shows, or maybe you can get with a carnival company and play a pit. But even in a pit show you gotta have a novelty. Just playing straight, as [ sald, as a fat lady, or a bearded lady or a tat- tooed lady or anything like that, and the simps come back from the blow- off and pan you till, if you had Gaso- line Bill Barker hisself as door talker or grinder, It would do you no good!" said Mr, Jarr the remotest idea eister was talking had the militant listening eagerly. store show ~\in Bi aft Irrespective. » and a couple other pitchmen « ‘scopes through the onstrating with prunes and showing the prune piga—it's the best pitch a pipeman can have, and where the readers ain't too high or where a town Is open with ‘scopes— if the territory ain't been worked and demonstrating already did prune pigs—it's a three time winner “You will pardon me, I'm sure, said Mr. Jarr weakly, “but I fail to comprehend you.” “My how I do chatter,” retorted the fat young woman good naturedly. "I forgot you were a simp. When you been with the mob—profeasional peo- ple,, you know—you get to talking shop. You must excuse me, rully!” “This trip to the Middle West in the interest of my firm, and for the social conventence of its head and the ahi ping clerk thereof, is a liberal educa. tion for me,” remarked Mr. Jai “But the education will be incom: unless I know what ‘pipes’ for ‘pitch- men’ are, what ‘scopes’ are, what ‘prune pi are and what ‘readers’ and ‘shills’ are, not to mention what I | remember. “A pitchman is a street worker, a gasoline torch salesman, his pipes are his spiela—his talks. Scopes are microscopes, prune pigs are the funny bugs that show on old prunes when the pipeman demonstrates the scopes; readera a: ea to ped- dle, and excuse me’ and the fat young lady fell asl » her head on Mr. Jarr's shoulder, Covpright, 1014. Publi Co FN ae Now Fork Rrenine Word. RECKON the world ts goin’ to turn topside under. After what happened at the dinner table to-night nothin’ can surprise me. I ain't been mentionin’ Charlie Higgins to the folks of late because— well, he ain't been a popular subject. Bince Clarice eliminated him as a beau I ain't been allowed to remind her of him. Since Clarice broke with her latest beau, young Jack Thornton, because he wouldn't enlist and go down to Mexico and die half for her and half for the United States, she's been actin’ kinda moody. And when Ma said somethin’ about him to-night \ Clarice give a snort of disdain. Then it slipped out of my mouth, |" half way between a forkful of roast duck and a spoonful of lima beans. I didn’t mean for it to. ws ot MLL HOLO HIM CHUB! WONY Fun for the Home and the Ride Home By C. M. Payne WELL, I DECLARE! BRE ISANICKEL Ive TBEEN GOING To Give You! QUICK! WIRE DAS “ELICKER FILM COMPANY To SEND ME PHOTOS t OF MY SWEETHEARTS: oon, Gee ! IMPORTANT Siw miss sprue TE I] WAKH THE “GOATS” GAVE You WHEN THEY MADE. ov "GRAND BUTTER! “There's Charile Higgins,” I aays, “getting ready to go to war with th Dobbinaville Bu: “Why, that's so,” she says, actin’ as though she was tryin’ to remember somethin’ she'd forgotten, “He's— he's—a"— “A leftenant,” I says. “His com- pany is gettin’ ready to ‘mobilize,’ vhatever that means, on Staten Island |.etlmost right here in New York ¢ those ditty-bags, or whatever they call them—needies and thread to darn hia stockings and sew up bullet holos in his clothes?” “Them's for sailors.” I says, dis- playin’ some nuutical knowledge that aurprised ‘em. What you mean is for soldiers. My Ma made one for her brother, my Uncle Hank, when he t to fight the rebela in ‘61. ‘Hus- |" they called ‘er. know,’ Ma. “Only the real name was ‘hou ife.’ “Or we could give him a little med- leine kit," mays Clarice. “Only don't forget,” I says, remem- berin’ what Jepson, who's been in weiee bans Mexico, told me, “to put in plenty of : + at | muskeeter bit lotion—and maybe some Clarice had her eyes set lookin’ atioi of pennyroyal to keep vem. off. |" Rothin’, and ahe sorte sighed. | lPhey're deadlier and a heap better ira ‘Just think!” she says; iwe'll have’ shots than the Mexicans. Them Mex- a real war hero—aimont right in th®/icang has two chief occupations— eh q fightin’ each other and fightin’ the crit Jooked uP quick and 1 almont | miuskesters. If they would only enlist |of $n.' ought to have known better than take | them muskeeters’—— hy auch a big hunk all at once, but I wasn't thinkin’ and just popped it In my mouth, But {t waan’t the potato that set me to chokin'—it was Clarice, ightnin’ change artist whe's got beat, hands down. she went on, turnin’ to Ma, An Easy Way to Get Fat and Be Strong ‘The trouble with most thin folke whe weight is that they tnaist x their stomach or stuffing it 3; rubbing on useless or following some foolish stunt, while the real “Why, fawther!” says Clarice; “why didn’t you tell me before?” “Yes,” says Ma, veerin' with the ley lang Neve you Enews discovery, it 1s now posal into simple form the very elements needed by the digestive organs to help them eome vert food into rich, But Ma shut me off. “How can you frivol, Dan'l," she | th says, with the poor boy going away |!" to face awful dangers!” I pinched myself to see if I was awake. Clarice worryin’ about Charlie Higgins and Ma atickin’ up for him re ust do somethin’ for him, such a new idea It flabbergasted Can't we make him one of mother.