The evening world. Newspaper, April 27, 1914, Page 16

_“S’MATTER POP?” — ‘ O AND TELL THAT WOMAN NEXT DOOR +(ER CHICKEN Ce, UP OUR CORN Now FLOoGY - WHEN You AND Axe fF GET To MEXICO YoU MUST WIRE @-& ME EVERY DAY AND Tell ME WHAT KID OF MONES You ARE J “TAKING . (F | DON'T HEAR. FROM You Ibu KNow You ARE Bory DEAD! OW) YOU'RE HANDSOMER sre’ 's ye ee ENLISTED FOR THE WAR eS YOU'D LIKE You Do SPI Aprit-az. 1914 orld, WANT You Yo Take. CicTURES OF THE. HOTTEST PieHTING ! IN GREAT DANGER. You Witt 6& IF | SHOULD ENLIST, Too. eg Hed WELL AS SAMMY’S SLATE UP To DATE | PP was indeed an enwrprising pho- A SLENDER O1ET. ar own “aby, if you tuve one, father, am be enlarged, tinted and framed “The moth,” replied his son conf and seventy-five cents dently, “It eats nothing but boles,"— 1 Jouraab Ladies’ Home Journal, “What animal ip satisfied with the her who advertised as follows: least nourishment?” jasked a proud MR. JARR MEETS FRITZ’S SISTER—BUT, WAIT! iT ie not alone in moving Pictures and melodramas that important letters and telegrams are dropped to be picked up by the hero or villain, as the case may be. It ‘was neither hero nor villain who picked up the telegram that fell to the \ floor of the parlor car while Mr. Jarr was frisking through bis pockets to | Gnd @ dime to give to the porter of (the Pullman. finder of the dro} telegram was none other than the malitant Toone ‘tntst who bad insisted on getting into the upper berth the night before 0 lady warrior bold hated Mr, by ‘4 he had tant feminism the first principle which is to belleve that every woman pleases and only man is vile. On a steady intellectual diet of problem plays, sex novels and white slave films whe had come to the belief that the only good man is a dead one, and the wooner they are all made good the better. Hence when she picked up and read the telegram ‘ding the shipping ww it all! Mr, Jarr as wasn't anything of the sort—he was just a commonplace married man try- ing to keep bis courass up and his expense account down and to be back from a business trip in time to attend a beefsteak dinner that at times he belleved was being given in his honor. of handcuffs in her hand satchel, She always carried them in anticipation Rog oa uring. iy a o fended to first stun the , ‘The militant feminist carried a pair | tended humas vul- itt bins over head Ste THay ir wiee TRE AW-wiGKkT THITH TIME BUT Don't DA THO CARE LETH IN THA FuTURE NO MORE Fanny! Now MURIEL - - a} You BANE NEXT ® N wien Smack ing the donor; @ quarter Up is & union tip and gets a grunted but otherwise calm appreciation. A half dollar calls for a courteous expression of thanks, and a dollar means wor- ship and constant adulation. For « dime, then, the porter went about his business and minding bis own busi- ness, which was the collection of tips. ‘As the train approached Evansville, Indiana, Mr. Jarr was nervous, and the militant feminist eager and de- warding him with termined and re; watchful waiting. | She was debating whether she should hit Mr. Jarr over the head and handcuff him before the train ulled into Evansville, ere he met Ris victim. But Mr. Jarr had re- ceived another telegram, and she had no chance of reading it over his shoulder, as yet. For to the militant feminist Mr. Ji jarr was that long- sought-for but seldom-found miscre- ant, a real live vulture trust. Seaver, from his boss in the whol woollen trade and the direction regarding Frits the shipping clerk's young sis- “If he isn't a human vulture,” she asked herself, “why should he have ane be take the upper one I bad en- ment Retesby ag agTacth Eee tose ms al loubt in ber Middle West from human vulture headquarters to entra) oucent Renan vultures? iia ler patience and naierieanieh Sia Tauviene Zee into Evansville Mr, Jarr got out the last teolggram he had received. it cause. she Tooke like me and it wes pe ee Took me,” and it was re WAS a girl in blue the train expectantly. She DID os More soi or ‘nor adigtit ky BY tof the human| Sarr estimated it, was ‘about feos hundred pounds! ‘ obese fase ir. Jarr not know, althot might have suspected {t, that the thee atrical career Fritz's sister looked forward to was with a circus’s Con- gress of Curtosities, or at Coney Island, now that the movies have put the dime museums out of business! ————>___ An Eating Proposition. STALWART young German ceeeed Pegs a penttion on a ‘farm. @ walked into the bere be ae you pa ad ay, “Will I what?’ an you job me? Make me work bh “Oh, I see; you want a job,” the farmer.) “Well, how atone you want a month?” “I tell you, If you eat me on der farm I come for fife dollars, but for twenty-fife dollars I eat myself at lecture platform and exhibit him as & horrible example. ‘At night and between lectures the militant feminist had determined she would keep the human vulture in the death chambers of the local peniten- tlaries of towns in which she lectured “The Perils of the Unprotected arf, but not wo! , but not ten cents. For a quarter, ; | ter, ahe regarded as a cipher telegram Ba canta, no. A ten-cent tip is in from the New York head of the bu- cepted in ailence and without insult- man vulture traffic. YOU GOTTA DO IT! ‘National Food Magazine, ————>——__ IN THE BALANCE, Mr, Rocks—So you want to marry my daughter, Well, young man, what are your prospects? Young Man—Excellent—if you don't spoil them,—Judge. CASTORIA For Infants and Children, The Kind You Yase Always Bought MY PEGGY !! insisted on my taking the lower berth | q GWAN . LEMME FINISH KISSING DAS GIRLS AUTEN, = Hoo! co) The Horse for Him. SCOTTISH farmer of a miserly disposition bought a horse at a fair, On the way home he thought @ drink of water would re- the animal would not take it, When he got home he offered it a feed of corn; but to his surprise it wo not touch that either. “Weel,” he muttered to himself, “4¢ only. I was sure ye were a guid work. e're the verra horse for me,"— y fresh it, #0 be got a pail of water, but! Pittsburgh Chronicie-Telegraph. MAN 2 FOR 25 CTs, A perfect fitting V front collar, Vertical stripe Madras, EARL, & WILSON MAKERS OF TROY'’S BEST PRODUCT