The evening world. Newspaper, April 1, 1914, Page 14

She CFR word. ESTABLISHED BY JOSEPH PULITZER. Published Daily Except Sunday by the Press Publiant 63 Park Row, New York. RALPH PULITZ! President, 63 Pot, Rew. J. ANGUS SHAW, eR JOFEPH PULITZER, Jr Moctetary, @8 Park Row, Entered at the Port.o: Tork as Becond-Clans Matter. @udscription Rates "10 The ivening! For England end the Continent amd All Countries in the International Postal Union, 9.78 Cod 4 fur the United States and Canada, tcf MUST IT ALWAYS BE: KEEP OFF? 00 LITTLE green grass and too much hard, beaten dirt—is I Park Commissioner Ward's criticism of the city’s parks. He is right and it is a good time of year to call attention to the defect. “Most of our parks,” he declares, “especially the downtown ones, are barren wastes. There isn't a strip of verdure below Fourteenth street except a small bit in Hudson Park. We have obliterated our parks for every one except those between the ages of five and eight. Mothers and babies need some verdant plots.” Playgrounds and gymnasium areas ere fine things worthy of all @neouragement. But they are not parke and can never take the place ef parks. Dirt should never be allowed to encroach on green grass merely because the former needs less care. And epeaking of green grass, isn’t it about time for this city to find out from expert advice and experiment whether it can ever hope to have in its parks solid, substantial turf that will bear honest wear from pavement-blistered feet and weary backs? Could a force of Scotch gardeners lay a foundation for tough park lawns thet would become more durable with every decade? Or does the climate of New| York forever rule out the hardy sod of Britain? Our present pitiful, half-hearted method of ecratching the} @roand every year or two, sowing grass seed for the sparrows to peck | at and then ehooing off the public from the forlorn result, leads | nowhere at all. Can we never have green gress in the parks that will say “Come On” rather than “Keep Off”? ——_-4 = —____ ‘The men who tries to eit between two atools is always _ Mure it can be done until he hits the floor. Ask the Governor. —_——_—-4 = CAN WE UNDO THE MISCHIEF? HE college girl is inaccurate,” says the adviser to women at Cornell University. “About one in one hundred knows ‘e __ how to report accurately what she has observed.” Harvard graduates fail to get down to business. Harvard under- Greduatés can’t write a correct letter. College men generally are @uffers at putting ideas in plain English. New York echool teachers ‘dreek all rules of grammar when they take pen in hand to demand heir pay. New York high school students fall down fifty-six ways on the spelling of “isosceles.” Every twenty-four hours brings some fresh evidence of the handicap of echooling. Why doesn’t somebody write « manual on: “How to Succeed Though Educated? —_——__4- —_______. Gtx thousand five hundred tons of bad food were destroyed im tte city (ast year.—News iten. And how many thousand tons of good food were wastod to thekle the palates of habitual over-eaters who didn't need it? Oo MORE MILLIONS FOR THE BRIDGES. HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS’ worth of bridges across the East River—the oldest opened only thirty years, the latest barely finished—and already wo must tinker up the lot to bear the heavier burdens we mean to put upon them! Commissioner Kracke figures it will cost $15,000,000 to strengthen the bridges for subway trains. That the Williamsburg ‘Bridge may carry the ten-car trains to be operated over the Centre Gtrest loop $1,000,000 is being spent on its main trusses; $2,400,000 are needed at the outset to fit the Queensboro Bridge for subway traffic from the B. R. T. Broadway line and for the elevated trains Ofxthe Interboro from the Second avenue line to Astoria and Flush- ing; $1,000,000 extra must be laid out on Manhattan Bridge to make it ready for trains from the Loop subway. And when these three Bridges are ready to take their full share of the load, millions more maast be spent to double deck the Brooklyn Bridge—a job that will take from four to eight years. The city has never yet got its money’s worth out of the newer ‘bridges. A few years ago three-cent trolley lines with cross-borough extensions used to be urged as a meane of giving the public greater benefits from these costly structures, Alveady such plans seem paltry. Ten-car trains and yet vaster visions of transit convenience are necesaary to call attention to the bridges. The only way to interest New Yorkers in what they have built and paid for is to show them how to spend still more on it. 24: The man who thinks there are any more fools than usual to-day {is only more self-conscious, Sebeel Fire Drills, fo “he Kiditer of The Evening World; T read with interest your views on @re drills as a guard against loss of Mife during fire. I would like to call attention to the fact that I have been informed of one public school where there has been no fire drill for about an months at least. My children have three) have gone to that ot urine Cont time and say they never fire drill. I wes un- er the impression that fire drill was once a month. PA. punish her when she disobeys. 1 wish readers would give me their opinions about it, as I would iike to know whether I am right or wrong. M 8, The Length of the Pole. To the Editor of The Brenizg World: i tne lene to find the diagonal of @ equare, aide being given aa the Giagonal ona equare ia the hypothenuse of a right engin, whose legu are the Bo the Baiter of The Evening World. I would like to know 2s your readers consider a girl of may too old to be spanked by her Ww Mother when she disobeys. Our eldest \~ augdrer ts a little over sixteen and _Semetimes when she is very unruly I aver, objects to he being , er in this manner. “4 if parents re neruse, and extract the rook , extrac of the remainde: the rule Cs Company, Nos. 53 te Let|titude of \The Evening World Daily Magazine, Wed nesday. April 1; Can You Hi | WHERE ARE YouR. | ROSY CHEEKS ? | | | How 101d April Fool's Day And Its Origin ‘ES, this is April Fool's Day, the sacred occasion when a few pests drag forth from storage ail the dreary old wheeses about “calling up the aquarium and ask- ing for Mr, Fish,” or donating candy that is upholstered with cotton wood or red pepper, and in similar merry waya pile up overtime work for the foolkiller, Does anybody suppose April Fool jokes are American in their origin? Well, they aren't. They were played in Europe before America was pfs covered. Yes, and they w layed in the Orient when Europe etill & wilderness, The first people to observe a "‘fes- tival of fools” were the Hindus, among whom the Feast of Hull (cor- responding to “All Fools' Day" of the Occident) has been celebrated from time immemorial. Sending innocents on absurd and impossible errands is the favorite diversion of the practi- cal jokers of India, and it bas since been adopted in America and Bu- rope. Ancient Rome had a feast of fools called Festa Stultorum, but this was observed in February. Scores of theorles have been advanced re- warding the origin of the April Fool featival which will be generally celes | brated to-day throughout the world. | Germans way that the first of Aprii | Was chosen for All Fools' Day be- cause “April weather doth make fools of us all.” The Scotch were probably the first modern Europeans to observe generally the day, and in | Scotland @ victim of the practical jokers is called an “April gowk," the latter word being @ synonym for |cuckoo, Futile errands were called “hunting the gowk.” In France and Italy the victim of first of April jokes is called an “April fish." ‘The news. | papers of Italy are much given to| hoaxing their readers on the first of April, and many remarkable stories about things that ne¥er happened are pubis ed on that day, to be denied @ next. Fate played the greatest of Apri Fool “iokes on France a little fe than # century ago when on April 1 Bis was born, Hits From Sharp Wits. A man of few words have a minimum of though’ Blade. | also may \s.——Toledo o 8 | Don't be prejudiced against the jman who wears a wide braid in his eyeglaases or a feather in the band of |hia hat. The chances are he ts more gensible than he looka.—, - leans Btates, | Mew Gr The man who bottles hie wrath is @ corker. ° A man of accomplishments tan’ necessarily man, of dee ois The street car conductor ta the great promoter, He is alwaya saying to people, “Please step forward.”— Deseret News, eo 8 Indigestion is reaponsible for a mul- family quarrels,-Macon OW PALE You Look | He Gane He A DAY OFF Vue vou Nhe NEXT PICTURE Beat It? Your tl rer ake veaany STS, -AND i Soo Ne OP YOURSEW. YOu Must LA GRIP "SEASY To Foot MAN ~ | DION'T PAINT THIS MORNING DEARIE iT Pp HAVE e CTHEY DON'T KNow PAINT WHEN THEY SEE IT Movies a la Mode By Alma Woodward o Press Publishing Co. Copyriant, y shit Evento World) Calls again. Beckons im- Bread! CENE 1 (a window).—-Dis- S peratively. Beckons more imperatively. Cut to: covered, Mrs, B, gazing anx- jously into street. Calls. Scene 2 (the street).—Discovered, object of beckoning (Willie, age nin 1914, he iY Gazes up at window. Looks inquli ingly. Indicates inability to hear clearly. Finding he can't bluff Mn, WVillle draws nearer, of shoes aguinst curb sn route, Guzes up. SCREEN: “Come upstairs, 1 want to send you for something.” Willie registers disgust and more an- Calls to com- Examples of Descriptive Power by Great Authors. NO. 21.—THE FIGHT WITH A CANNON, by Victor Hugo. and made two gaps in the side of the ship, fortunately above the water line, but where the water would come in in case of heavy of stone at the foot of the steps. He cast a stern glance over the scene of fon. It seemed impossible to take a step forward. was th thor of the catastrophe, the captain of the gun, gullty of criminal carelessness, the cause of the accident. Having done the mischief he was deck, ‘Then began an awful sight—a Titanic scene—the contest between gun Some chance rocking of the sea caused the cannon to remain for an Inatant motionlens, Suddenly it leaped toward the man The man dodged along the side of the vessel, bar and rope in hand, and the cannon as if sus- pecting some snare would flee away. The man, bent on victory, pursued it. dash at the gunner. The gunner sprang out of the way, let it pass by and cried out to it with a laugh, “try it again." The cannon, as if enraged, the blows of the cannon, The man took refuge at the foot of the steps, not far from the old man who was looking on. The gunner held hie lon Some Historic Word Pictures — HE cannon was rushing back and forth on the deck. 1i went on in | ita destructive work. It had already shattered four other guns weather. The old passenger, having gone down to the gun deck, stood like a man Suddenly in the midst of this, unaccessible where the escaped cannon was leaping, & man wan seen to appear with an iron bur in his hand. He anzious to repair it. Ha had seized the tron bar with onc hand, a tiller rope with @ slip noose in the other and jumped down the hatchway to the gun and gunner, the battle of matter and intelligence, a duel between man and the inanimate, the blow, the battle bega: Occastonally it was the man who attacked the cannon. He would creep Such things cannot long continue. The cannon seemed to say to itscif all of a sudden, “Come now, make an end of it." It made a sudden quick smashed @ carronade on the port aide, then it was hurled to the starboard aide at the man, who made his escape, Three carronades gave y under bar in rest, ‘Tho cannon seemed to notice it and without taking the trouble to turn around, slid back on the man, swift as the blow of an axe. The man, Ariven againat the side of the ship, was lost. The crew cried out with home, But the old passenger, till this moment motionless, darted forth more quickly’ than any of this wildly swift rapidity, He seized a package of counterfeit assignats and at the risk of being crushed succeeded in throwin, it between the wheels of the carronade. ad ‘The package had the effect of a clog. The carronade stumbled; the gunner taking advantage of this critical opportunity plunged his bar be. tween the spokes of one of the tron wheels; the cannon stopped. Ho leaned forward, The man using the bar as a lever held it in equilibrium, The hewy masa was overthrown; the man passed the slipnoose round the neck of the subdued monster, It was ended; the man had conquered. ‘The gunner saluted the passenger. “sir,” he sald, “you have saved my lite ‘The old man had resumed his paasive attitude and made no reply, ‘Yhe Chevalier de la Vieuville had drawn up the marines in line on both aides of the mainmast and at the sound of the boatswain's whistle the sailors formed in line, standing on the yards, The Count de Nolsberthelot approached the passenger. Behind the captain walked a man haggard and out of breath, his dress disordered, but still with a look of satisfaction on his face. It was the gunner, The count gave the military salute to the old man in peasant's dress and said to him, “General, there is the man.” ‘The gunner remained standing with downcast eyes. The old man looked at him. “Come forward,” he said. ‘The old man turned toward the Count de Boisherthelot, took off the iron of St, Louis from the captain's coat and fastened it in the gunner’s jacket, “Hurrah,” eried the sailors, The marines presented arms. @azzled sunner, added: “Now have this man shot." Then in the midst of a death!ike stillness the old man raised his voice and paid: “Carelessness has compromised this vessel, At this very hour it 4s perhaps lost, ‘To be at sea ts to be in front of the enemy. A ship making & voyage is an army making war. The tempest ts concealed but it ts ct hand. Death is the penalty of any misdemeanor committed in the face of And the old passenger, pointing to the panions. “IT gotta go fer sumpin’ Cut to: Scene 3 (a hall).—Mrs. B, wel- comes Willie with the usual all-come/ prehensive eye. Discovers more things tho matter with his totlet in one hasty glance than ordinary person could with microscope. Pulls at his tle, his cap, his belt and rolls eyes at shoe: Registers censure and dismay at hik cost of vying. Produces handbag. Extracts nickel. SCREEN: "Go get. u« five-cont loaf of bread at Kikem's.” Willle registers reluctance, almont re- bellion. Mra, B. threatens dire things. Ville exits, Cut to: Waeene 4 (stairway).—Discovered Willie counting up to one thousand on each step. New game. Appears Nemesis, Calls. SCREEN: “And hurry as fast as you can, Willie, be- cause Delia is waiting to stuff the chicken with it. And it ought to be in the oven now!" Willle decides to count only to five hundred on each step, Cut to: Scene 5 (same as scene 2).—Trio of satellites aits our hero, All hang on his neck. He displays nickel. Registers antipathy to errand, They volunteer escort, Bunch moves slowly up street. In progress of forty feet nickel is dropped seven times. Cut tor Scene 6 (the bakery).—Onslaught of small boy in bulk rattles clerk. Cookie pan watched. Our crowd registers heartsick appreciation of white tciny and doughnuts, Willie demands: SCREEN: “One loaf uy san’tary Nickel handed over, inexciting, Cut to: Scene 7 (street).—Headed in right direction, all seems plain sailing. Appears Heinie, classmate, who earns money delivering for butcher, Heinle bears basket containing bi; tention to it. admiring fingers, gestion, SCR lors, help me d'liver it. Some ‘fresh guy might cop It off'n me. Cut to: Scene & (street).—Escorted turkey comes to grief. Warring faction gets in fine work from behind. Turkey makes acquaintance of sidewalk. also sanitary loaf. Short, hot skir- mish, ending ln vietury for turkey brigade. Heinie re-ensconces bird in basket. Our hero resumes tattered Turkey poked with leinie makes sug- ‘ome on, fel- the enemy. No fault is reparable. Court hould be rewarded and ni -|and decidedly unsanitary loaf. Reg- TUOE . gg gence punished. Let it be done.” me eat Istera call of conscience. Communi. The man on whose jacket hung the shining cross of St. Louts bowed | cates call to satellites. Start on idlers_make t! l shining enieite Pest mele te mistake of nin head, A fow momenta later a Hight fieabes © ropare sounded theouen end Tan, for home wale. uy itat patches when the seat of frous-| the darkness, then all was still; and the sound of @ body falling into the| covered Mrs 'B. Business of “Where as waa heard, * ‘ uy Boy Te-Night? | “debatable ground” that lay on the French-Norman frontier. |. William was in his sixtieth year. , Sick from over-cating. It seemed easier to arrange this boundary dispute by | diplomacy than to go to war with so powerful a foe as Philip of France. ‘trom his sick-bed at Rouen he opened negotiations with King Philip. | went well, and the affair promised to reach a peaceful settlement, | tlers and in the presence of King William's ambassador he sald: read with paper ‘round it.”| Ensemble work | | gest turkey ever grown. Calln at-| Little Causes : & ) Of Big Warts By Albert Payson Terhune. | Coorriaht. 1914, by The Pree Publiahing Oo, (The New York Krening World) 67—A Joke That Led to a War of Invasion and a King’s Death. ILLIAM THE CONQUEROR lay sick at Rouen, Philip, King of France, made a rather poor joke about him. As a result a bloody war followed—a war that ended in the “Conqueror’s” orange death. Here is the story: William, as Duke of Normandy, had crossed the Channel with a mail- clad army, had thrashed the Saxons at Hastings in the autumn of 1066, and had made himself King of England. He had spent the next few years in stamping out English revolts here and there, and then hag, turned his attention to waging war on certain barons in Normandy. ; After which William found himself entangled in a 'y lively “war with his own rebellious son Robert, whose mother took her son's part. Altogether William was having a busy life. Fate anid his enemies gave. him little time to enjoy his new kingship of Eng! In apite of | hie being constantly fretted by martial cares, he managed enough for two or three ordinary men. And as a result when he began to get along in } years he also began to grow very fat. (OA Indeed, his once muscular figure became enormous \§ A Fat Man's and unwieldy, So stout did he grow that people begaa| Revenge. %© laugh. But never in his presence. It was seldom eae, » to laugh at William. And he was horribly sensitive. about bis increasing flesh. ‘ Then while he was on a raiding expedition in Normandy in 1087 word © came that the King of France laid claim to the district of Vexin,» strip of He was tired of conflict. Also he was 80 au Then it was that Philip tried his hand at humor. To a group of cour- “My royal neighbor, William, has grown so fat that it tests the en- durance of one’s legs to walk around him.” Not @ wildly funny joke, but one with far-reaching effects. The English ambassador repeated the joke to William at Rouen. Will- lam sprang out of bed, yelling for his armor, and sent twenty oguriers scurrying in every direction to assemble his army. He went into a crazy rage that made him forget his tllness. The peace negotiations were broken off then and there. William, at the head of a hastily collected army, invaded the Vexin dis- trict, conquering, slaughtering, burning. He outgeneralled the French lead- ers and defeated their armies. He laid waste the whole surrounding country, The city of Mantes held out against him. William stormed Mantes and, according to his custom, destroyed it by fire. The next day as he rode in fierce triumph through the smoking ruins his horse stepped orf a smoulder- | ing ember, | nen. The horse, stung by the pain in its unshod hoof,'’ A Strange plunged violently forward, William was thrown againgt \ Accident. the high saddle pommel. From the effects of this ter- 3 4 rifle impact he never recovered. The blow caused in- ternal injuries from which six weeks later he died. were avenged some of the many thousand people whose homes and cities he had from time to time burned to the ground, BACHELOR GIRL. ~ By HELEN ROWLAND. Comrieht. 1914 by The Pree Pablishing Co, (The New York Evening World) ANY a coat of rage hides an honest heart, but no coat of paint ever M hid an honest wrinkle. A young girl fancies that in order to be fascinating she must coa- tinually sparkle and scintillate, but a widow knows that after a hard day’s work any man prefers a lullaby to fireworks, | It's a wise girl who prefers losing an argument to losing a sweetheart. Any woman can get along without a husband nowadays; it's getting along WITH one that is thé real test of character. The reason a man so often proposes marriage to a fool is because he can’t think of any other way to pass the time while in her company. Kicks off tons of | | A man’s idea of u “competent wife” is one who can serve a pate de {ois gras menu on a chipped beef income, fry a cold storage fowl into a bird of ‘adise and transform an old market basket into a new spring hat. | , Somehow his father’s inability to boss his mother never discourages | a young man’s fond hopes that he will twist the girl he marries around his little finger; it merely inspires him to try. The easiest way to make a small boy take medicine is to forbid him to touch it, and the most effective way to make a man talk love is to forbid him to speak of it. OFT, full waists are the prevail- ing ones of the season. This one te charming made of the figured net and pbro- caded silk illustrated, but it also can be util- ized for crepe de 4 ' for the pretty cotton | z % voiles and marquis. 5 ettes and for all the: Perighrg that a thin and soft enough te be full. For thip made trimming, @ contragte 7 : ing fabric will be need- | ‘ ed, but contrast can be found in plain color as well as in brocade and the like, This blouse is adapted tw the occasions of dress, For the medium alze the blouse will require 8 yards of material 27, 2% yards r 44 inches wide, with yard 27 inches wide for triinming. | Pattern No, 8231 in | fi cut in alzea from 84 | y to 42 inches bust Pattern No. &231—Fancy Blouse, 34 to 42 Bust. measure, Call at THE EVENING WORLD MAY MANTON FASHION BUREAU, Donald Building, 100 West Thirty-second street (eppe- tite Gimbel Bros), corner Sixth avenue and Thirty-second etrest, New York, or sent by mall on receipt of ten cents ta coin or stampa for on pattern ordered. IMPORTANT—Write your address plainly and alwaye epecity | ‘ise wanted, Add two cents for letter postage if im @ hurry, Suddenly — registers waitin, sans pathos, " Our hero presents } sri satisfaction % ght of ad- wale text ‘ ind ayrimer he sets Vancing company. Cut to: ing. a must be heard ‘Boone 10 (door t) bd of apartment).—/to be B “watohing and: