The evening world. Newspaper, March 25, 1914, Page 18

OVER THE TELE Ace AND CALL A Page of. Comics, Sketches and Stories IF HELLO, 1S THIS MRS. SWEET ? 1 SAY YES Now WW YOU'RE MRS SWEET. LARRY- LARRY? Yes! LISTEN, MRS. SWEET- 1 SAID 1S THIS MAS. SWEET 1 KNo! THIS 1S OF COURSE IT LOOHs Pretty BAD BuT- | | Y, WEY GEORGE = How Did You Like MY ACTING ? AXEL= INVER SAW ANYTHING LiKe (Tt LISTEN, MRS. SWEET! REE upc R TALK GOOD AND LOUD, AT THE JARR FLAT. JLFASED to see you, Mr. Dog- + story, this is indeed a sur- ae aid Mra, Jarr, as in ‘eo semi-darkness of the landing she glean a fur coat, a plush hat this identified America’s foremost promoter of publicity—the Bett, white gicam of a cano head @elicately carved into the semblance @f tho feminine leg divine. “Walk right in, Miss Cackleberry ‘will be out in a minute, the dear girl —_—— +, Is in her room writing a letter to her mother. She writes every day, isn't t sweet of her? Not girls are like that nowadays.” All the girls are like that nowadays who are importuning a distant parent for the price of a new dress, a new hat, some new gloyes, linge: money and such other nece society buds. “A nifty Jane, or I never lamped one,” Dogstory. “Her mother truth, . Blodger, remarried mother of the Cackloberry girls, must have money, as she wasn't sending her daughter any. But she contented herself with say- ing that the mother of the darling girl visiting her was ¢ of one of the ollest femilion of Philadelphia. SAFETY FIRST Covrrizht. 1914, by The [ress Publishing Co. (The New York Evenine World) “The old families of Philadelphia are always there with the cush,” doesn't je fo on the “Do you think she has talent?” ked Mra. Jarr. Yhat's that got to do with it?" anked the publicity promoter. “If she'd murder somebody or go to Europe and pull a king’s whiskers and get sent to the mines for life and eacape—I could plant the, story I think, most of thone monarchs can be hired by the day, I understand— and with the press matter properly put out—a hundred dollars a week is ry, it could be Idn't that be grand!” claimed Mra, Jarr. “So all that remains ts to find a boob with a bank roll, I mean some one with ample resources who might become financially interested. And I've got a new idea. y let the celluloid strings cop all the coin?” Mrs, Jarr could not grasp this, and Mr. Dogstory explained, ‘The fllums, the Jerk photos, the movios!" “Oh, you mean Irene Cackleberry might go into moving pictures?" Mrs, Jarr. and if she doesn't hasten be the only Hving person alive who hasn't Incorporated herself and gone into them. Mrs, Jarr could not see just how Irene Cackleberry might create a stir on the acreen, “It's like this,” explained Mr. Dog- story. “It used to be if a society belle held up a train or rushed her flance off a akyncraper or did any- | thing like this that got big notices oh stage hu crimp put in It by the movies, why not star a lady in a feature film following any desirable publfcity—properly put over, of course—that would have the simps Supreme Court because the witnens- es were prejudiced against her, Then we pose her in a feature film, “Irene, the Incendiary! 8 or, The Firebug Belle! v A Six Reel Sensation, By The Little Lady That Did the Dreadful Deod. There's nothing to It, It would be «= Xnock out!” added Mr. Dogstory. Then we could ge: a write up by some prominent preacher that this film teaches a great moral lesson, and wet the Suffragettes to indorse the show, because we can put it out she eet the flats afire because of wom- an's wrongs"— “Well, you'd better discuss it with Miss Cackleberry. ‘ Hare eomee \New York. Wednesday, | —Rememrper He's AN OPTIMIST. fellow, AXEL’S FEELINGS WERE HURT (LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER- 15K | LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER, 1-LOVE -Your- DAUGHTER! NO - | NEVER Saw ANYTHING LIKE YOUR ACTING - -*—> lide aR A bt bitehing Oo, GEEWHILLIKENS ! HAVE THAT DEAF OLD FOSSIL FOR A MOTHER-IN-LAW? Copyright, 1914, by The Prewe Publishing Oo, (The New York Evening Worl.) =*: AND |HOPE | NEVER, SEE ANYTHING LIKE (T AGAIN SM! , JUST MISSED Him? WHAVA SAY TO NOW | HEAR YOU PERFECTLY, 607 TO HAVE Dicey SHE'S POSITIVELY THE | LIMIT. YOUNG MAN! DID You ‘CALL ME ? 1 SHALL HUSBAND OF YOUR. BEHAVIOR, —— FOOZLEDUFFERS Conrright. 1914. by The Pree Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World) \ ‘Took SICK IN THE OFFICE AND HELLO GUS, HOw DIDYA GET OVER. THE FESTIVITIES? now,” interrupted Mrs. Jarr. T can say is that if she is going to burn anybody's home to star in the moving pictures I'd be better pleased if she'd be prop mother,’ back ly chi miss visitors more adroitly y former occupant of the White House, Hometimes, howeve tor turns up and then President Wil- ‘a tact is uni tor overstays his tin of such visitors the Presid: luncheon tn Washingto: “There was an old fello “who was praising thi lawyer of the town. “ ‘George, for a busy man,’ sald the “ia one of the pleasantest chaps I ever met. nm him for a social call this morning and I hadn't been chattin’ with him more than fifteen minutes before he'd told me three times to come him again’ "—Washington But all Ph S ENATOR BORA adelphia and oned by her own Se P5 coming ning to buy their broads 'The question, to get a slant at her. It could be Three Futile Hints. “went unanswered, done, believe me-if she has friends Nit Ww. ie’ ip who will Incorporate a feature film RESIDENT WILSON, thanks in| Willie's query, coinpany. Look, now, say she goo part to his training of Prince-| mo Avaou fae Het out setting fire to » Bho gets) ton, but thanks in greater part | r pinched and ts turned loose by the | to his tact, is said to receive and dis- | than a the his lap, ra stupid visi~ Appreciated and the|yersation, little Wi the young gentlema: fold @ story. Washington Star, “SHE EATS, MY An hungryish girl 1 Her appetite's heal! Why, I dropped tn She remains in her . a barrassing question that d at Chicago, Went Unanswered. H owas talking at @ dinner at Boise about an em- had he eatd, amiling, It was like little “A young KenYeman was spending le Willie's cottage at Atlantfe City, and on Sunday eve- ning after dinner, there being @ scarc- ity of chairs on the crowded piazza, young gentleman took Willie on “Then, during @ pause in the con- Mle looked up at n and piped: “*'Am | as heavy as Sister Mabel?” >. LADY EATS!” is my Mabel, thy and able, When we go out to eat poat ‘and soo | Ti!! there's nothing but plates on the Copgright, 1914, by Pree Publishing Co, ¢ Th ithe New York Evening World.) PA IS GOING TO HAVE A “PARADE” IN HIS CLOSET. "VE got somethin’ else to worry’ about besides frip- padiddles like dress sults and cut-'em-aways, and walkin’ sults and talkin’ sults and. here-he-comés-in aad there-he-goes-out suits, of which there is more varieties than Heinz has pickles! Young Nathaniel Sudder, son of old Amos Sudder, who used to be a thorn in my side before he died and left his son to be a whole cactus, has been cuttin’ into my New Eng- jand territory, His soap ain't as good as mine, bein’ as he makes it cheap- er, and he sells under me a dollar a gross. Them New E sharp in @ trade, but t good soap. I'll 'make ‘em eat it be- fore 1 get through, and young Sud- der'll have pay the feed bill or my name ain't Dan'l Dobbins, I tried to get young Nat when I put through my consolidation, but he shied off and IT couldn't get him just where I want- ed him, But you watt, Howsomever, that ain't got nothin’ to do with what I started to. write ubout. Jorkins says I ought to have some new duds and says I've got to have some, so I guess I'm going to. I @in't got to pick ‘em out. Jorkins'll attend to that, But I've got to go to Wooley's, on Fifth avenue, and be stood up and measured off, or else have their measurin’ man come here and get my size, I guess maybe I'll go there, Ma said she'd make an appointment for me, It seems that when you're a poor ‘man, with just enough to pay the nt and kéep the butcher from ah) n’ off on you, you wear duds to k arm and comfortable, If you a! got but one euit to your back you're lucky to have that, and you can wear it till it feels like an old friend, There's nobody to kick on what you wear #0 long as you wear somethin’, But when you make money and live on Fifth avenue, and have a Wife like ma and a daughter like Cl ine, ai and “my man” like Jorki DARN wee, AHA! FINALLY WE TUT, ONE OVER WITH “THE Pune Cop SUFFERIN MIKE , GEORGE + ( AXEL 72? veal) “AND WHAT'S MORE a ne reer YOUR MOTHER: IN-LAW INDEED! SUCH PRESUMPTION # to put on for every different thing you do, I dunno why, but it's disrespectable to eat dinner in the same suit you et breakfast in, even if you didn't got no egg on your vest. And you can't wear @ pair of pants more than once without their bein’ pressed, because if there's a wrinkle in them you. ain't pollte and respectable. Jorkins fig- ured out that I've got to have at least fifteen suits to start on. When thoy're hangin’ up my closet will look like « parade, How I'm ever goin’ to wear ‘em out I can't figger. I've made many a suit do three winters In the old days, and then it was still good enough for Ma to give to the minis- ter's brother who'd had a shock and couldnt do very much, And Jorkins says you ain't fit to go out on the street, no matter how new your duds Is, unless they're cut a cer- ain way, and that a sult made last winter, even if it hasn't been wore, ain't no good for this winter. Did you ever hear such tomfoolery? No; nor I never did, either. Sometimes I think there's disadvan- tages in havin’ money. You've got to spend it the way somebody else wants you to when that somebody else has notions like mas. Instead of it bringin’ you comfort, it only makes you more trouble, You don’t know what a know- nothin’ and a back number and a odd stick you are until you make enough money for folks to notice you, If you're poor you can do as you want to and, shou be what you want to and live like younot wish to gain ten ponds want to, and it's nobody's business. If you're rich, it's everybody's bu ness and you got to live up to whi they say. Leastwise, accordin’ to ma's notion you have. I bet Ma would rather be shot than go to the store in a calico wrapper like she used to ten years ago! An Easy Way to Get - Fat Be and Strong thin folks wi . You wet fat until your digestive tract assimilates the food you ‘Thanks to a discovery, to simple form the jed by the digestive dt owers to coax the stomach to literally soak the fattening nts of your food and pass them into the blood, where they are ear. ried to every starved broken-down ell and tissue of your body. ¥, lly picture the result w: bis transformation has taken place and yeu notice how your cheeks fill about your neck, shoulders and appear and you take om from 10 te $0 pounds of solid. healthy flesh. clent. it refund your money if you are not fied as per the guarantee found in package. Caution ile, Bar siven ox ry in ng Seneral ai bi nt revalte ria) not be taken will eatio- every oA style to suit ever at $1.50 and up, the neck of every shirt wort! HIRTS | This trade mark on your new spring shirts is a guarantee of fit, quality and service, There isa occasion and Individual taste k for the pu y le band across 0 be known as TROY’S BEST PRODUCT EARL & WILSON MAKERS OF RED-MAN COLLARS