The evening world. Newspaper, March 21, 1914, Page 10

A Page of. Comics, Sketches and Stories ’ No Beat for Him. cated at a public school.” “Ah! And you have good eral OUNG GILES, eager to join the| knowledge 1 hope?" ” force, came to New York to ‘Ob, you." the necessary medical ex- ‘1 wonder can you tell me, for ex- f ‘This he easily did, and|8mple, how many miles it ‘is from Ment day be was interviewed by oficial. New York to Bor’ At this the recr iy Aattates, and at length he blurted ut: ‘Look here, if you're going to put ‘|me on that beat I'm done with the force."--Pittsburgh Chronicle + Tele- Hens’s A CHANCE FoR YoU “To MAKE @ WIT WHA BIG PART- ARSE = YOu ARE “HE ONLY MAN | it became norvous- | — GEOR 9 or New York. Saturday. Reey MR. CRUSE , AKeL.? {HE'S GOING “TO PLAY AGAINST yYou 1) “THIS GMAT FILM -— v” Wa race Om A FORTUNE” Sa YL MNOW WHE_CAN 00 | to think we should go by m taxical cab and t in!" cried Mr. Slavinsky. I broke all the glass in the heatre front doors, and to-morrow "il ge down to see about putting it in.” “Now, don't be ware, boys," oni "Ed t help it. You see, it was ttle boy” gets the gives tho moasies to nnefoyle and Capt. Tynne- foyle gives it to the whole regim of Rosemary and they rmory and send an't & to the show, con- re isn't any one to alt nstairs and they ness Men’s Association in winter and the Dill Pickle ing Club which is the same thing in summer,” “Sure, be it so resolved!" exclaimed he butcher, for he was high up in the Independent Order of Red- men and the Loyal Order of Moose, and he knew something of pariia- mentary proceedings, think that feller what we insulted except aa put it over on u Coreg Po Ps wen POOR MR. JARR IS SURELY “UP AGAINST IT” NOW! trom w. “But we was all to sit in the gal- fery and holler and make a noise when people come in or sung things »} when the husher was to tell us,” said Gus, “The usher,” corrected Mr. Rangle. “Well, it's a o same,” growled it ain't, ate @hat| Mr. Slavinsky, “Gus ts right, we got no right to pulli had upstairs seats, and money as good as anybod: day it ta,” said Gus, the genial proprietor of the popular cafe at the corner. “The German almanac or the Amer- fean one?” asked Elmer, the bar- tender, “Both,” eaid Gus. “Something has been pulled on the Harlem Business Men's Association that only insults and damages can wipe away!” Elmer, led astray by the headings “Important Dates in Histery” and “Phases of the Moon for the Month,” had some difficulty in finding the day in the almanacs, “There's a lot of days here, but } Gust for Mt can't find out which one we want,” said Elmer, perepiring with the men- tal effort it took him to read. “But here t# something what tolls how much the poperlation of China 1s.” “Never you mind the poperlation of China,” retorted Gus, "The poper. lation of Harlem ain't going to by big as it used to be, A: 5 we are going to do to that ma: Jarr ain't as no personal favor to Berry, the undertaker, although it'll make business for him.” “That's declared Mr, Slavin Mr, Hepler the by fa in one united «i “Ah! maybe he didn't mean : marked Albert, the street sweeper, as he admired hia appearance in evening attire and crimaon necktie in the bar mirror, For Albert had so thoroughly en- denly i lin. 1 street sweeper. shroud and botler on ‘I'm goin, around the corner to Prof, oufer what old onkeys of us!" exclaimed Mr, Slav- a sliding motion and came out on top. Father attempted to cover his real feel- ings with Je barrassing Vantage of SHEL TAKES ONE LOOK AT... Your PARR, AND MA, I pay my money that’s a business deal ted to get cheated, but @ favor and take tick- we and enjoyed oursely: jer wet chucked out of that theatre, that's whal keeps uw feller'a blood boiling, ain't it?” erled the chorus, care,” remarked Albert, the “Now [got this said = Mr, Mr. Jarr was not present had to be interlocutor for patrons for his own mental peace of mind, “By Insky himmenett: y wife has got a laugh at t we was going to have and #0 I wouldn't let her when she wears It,” \"That dress she pa: She ain't come home Jarr ts, making We all ought to go in front house and throw rocks through 1 my Mquor nly It would . But I tell pyery: ———- Willie’s Tact. HERE was company to dinner| W‘ and father was carving his pret- tlest on a fine roast, when sud- the knife struck @ skewer, made ut there was an em- nce. Willie took ad- Cruze WINS) ie think I'll go dance the forty dollars| T°) , and I'll bet she's been arrested for wearing it. “WW woman of aned. Ma’am, I duuno,” gloom- d the man. know?’ nm, am: . "Why not?’ “I'm in for life.”—Zadiea' —_——e——. Remembered. and the Ride Home YOU GOTTA DO IT! Cuprright, 1914, by The Press Publishing Ca, (The New York Brening Wortd). He Wasn’t Sure. you be very, very bap- asked the Home EALTHY CITY MAN (who has vill there is the taken a fancy to revisit bis birthplace)—"“Ah, met red schoolhouse and “Cook has burned her nose, orful,"| yonder the old chutoh. How well I joyed aring the leased dregs sult ‘ that he held no apite againat any one “Stoo bad,* mutfered father, sti |r tacue ate gone; ‘et ene remains y gollies!” crie: jus. “Maybe ° + YOU want to give a feller u kiss what SEO RNE ge She Toner “How 6 hee seca ipa need, —a28 treated you that way, But right here passed and seconded that Ed te Gred out of jhe Harlem Busi- it in { “Tryin, yu with hep teeth,” bal s rs to pull those sores tees oes. out] Judd, ain't ye? I kne ‘People's Hame Jour- I tae rn i ‘THIS WAY To DELICATESSEN —*. ye've got the mon ob! if ye'd settle handy 3 falo juirer. ——_—__——- Absent-Minded. WO men met during a gent? shower In the northwest core of Pennsylvania and Washing ton streets. One had his umbreile ug the other carried bis tm his hand evidently oblivious of the fact the he had an umbrella, “Hello,” said the oblivious ema brella?" “Your umbrella?” “Yeu, no di tae like it in town. 4 “Ob, there isn’t,” said the emiling extravagantly. “what are you doing with that um "¥: joubt about it, it by the handle. There’e not have in your hand?*:”