The evening world. Newspaper, March 6, 1914, Page 24

note: Ban ete ee ee mttitieates st ae A Page of Comics, Sketches and Stories . “BABY WANT THITH Pipe spurtin ToBATHiro THAUTHE ON IT do He WiLL HEE It OUT OF ‘HITH Him BY THE NECK AND “THeow HIM BACK IN AGAIN - SEL? Prefer the Fog. . * “re Bishop of Stepney was tell-)* . ing stories recently about th : inability of the London slum the country took @ party of @ treat to Hampton Court There was blue sky over- @ blaze of color in the . He thought the-chi}- it, but presently : “When are we on at AE, ett MRS. JARR IS HANDLED WITH RARE TACT. UT I want long pants, maw!" insisted Mi re Willie Jarr, when, with so reluctange, ys ped the salesman in the boys’ clothing de- “No,” she|Partment brought out the all-wool ool suits reduced from $13 to $7. ‘ou are too young to have long Rar sate. lene SEA Cay in ere will do ag mamma bids you. Have you ra knickerbockers with these suite?” this last to the clerk. “You know how hard Jittle boys are on trousers?” “I want long pants, I want long pante!" declared Willle, resolving to brave all future punishments—as his er could not very well discipline him there in the store, But to one who had managed his control of the son wi for Mrs, Jarr, she remarked calmly, “if behave yourself 1 will get 2 FOR 25 CTS. ARE TROY’SBEST PRODUCT mew Spring style embodying all the leading features found in ST Red-Man Collars, Finish, Style, Fit and Service. and make you wear them." ‘This dreadful threat silenced Ma jter Jarr, He gu » last Mngoring look wt the and then tho 2 Highland kilts gpd shuddered. r Mra. Jurr had opened r handbag to get out (he newspa r clippingeot ee if the suite T that agent, gunning ‘ had thrust upon her. bo surprived, madam, te have to r nd to t boing paid anjoy youraell, We ¢ go 10 the theatres for tt, Them InJepc t the World hus the right dope, ’ te "cotuaed tn eit in the the! yous 1 the label | Would be helploas DON'T YA KNow ANY BETTERN THAT ? atres during performances unless they get paid 30 cents an hour.” But the wrongs of either th pendent or independent workers of the world were nothing to Mra, Jarr. “I don't see why there isn't an extra pair of trousers with those achool sults,” she said, “But you can send fey @uit to my addreas.” harge?" asked the salesman. He knew Mrs. Jarr was a cash or ¢. 0. 4, customer, but it always fla| tered the ladies to ask them if they hadn't accounts at the stores. “Oh, no,” said Mra. Jarr airily, “T haven't account with this firm.” This implied she only had accounts with the moi xclusive shops, The salesman affected to be impreased and Mra, Jarr added, “And while I am here, I think I'll look at your want a pair of ser- “The ladies’ shoe department ts on the next aisle,” said the clerk. “Fine big boy, how old ta he, did you say?” “He's just eleven,” replied the fond ear sizes in “Look at school suits, my, my’ clerk in admiring tones. And sure enough, on all the labels, sewed on very tight and hard, whereas the buttons hung but thread two, was the marking 120 Mw eniee “Yes, Willie ia a big boy for his murmured Mrs. Jarr proudly. take fter the men of my ai the fai . on th ? bowed, marked down the delivery di- cections "Forward!" and hand- Mri man, Had shoe it been a man customer erk would have gotten one waited on his other customers first, knowing with one shoe, ie while, but Mra, Jarr being a lady the shoe clerk gaye Willle Ne a foot moasure y ‘ulfakin or kid? ine with cloth tops? You 4 hig! Mra, Jarr replied, 4 « your pardon,” sald the clerk, (“but you will find Tam right. Our indies’ winter boots of calfskin 3 will Ht you neatly. po It y ho ted | whee | A be here, roved. q » the nicest sales le shoe off him and taken it away and | to YOU GOTTA DO IT! Copyright, 1914, by The Press Publishing Go, (The New York Evening World), ordering the shoes as well as the suit sent ho nothing to it! remarked the shoe clerk to the cloth- ing salesman. “Mark the be rge and the women’ and you get the dames going und coming!" —_—_——— Teacher's Theory Shattered. 6é HILDREN,” said the teacher Pils, “you should be able to do anythirg equally well with either hand, With a little practice you will find it Just as eas: do anything with one: band ue It te with the other,” phin at the you put Fight-fand ra. —Ludies’ ny left. hand’ im of your 1 your pocket Home Jo: Two Misses ant.Oue Miss. lady, Mins Cocker by and her niece, who bears mneMmen, Went one gvening 0 ree eption ab the Bouse of, @ friend. “What nan ease’ tn-, Quired the footmans es a “Miss Cocker,’ nswWered. the elder PR ARSOLaee, iy “Mise Cocker, too,” joined the niece, hurriedly, Whereupon the man of plush and buttons opened the drawing-room door and, with all the dignity of his pro- feasion, ushered them into the midst of the company with the convulsive announcement: . “Mine Cool er and Miss Cockertoo!" —Piltsburgh Chronicle, ao walter why Smith's vite never’ Comet Yalta Welt | A and Clarice ain’t got back from the opera yet, so 1 guess I can eat a good breakfast again to-morrow. Jepson, my sales manag- er, was up to-night, and he says the Dobbins’ Old Plantation Soap is goin’ big in the new Southern territory we opened up. It's the same old soap we sell up North here as Dobbins’ Housewife's Friend, and out West as Dobbins’ Gold. Bar, only it’s got a different label and we have to sell it three for 10 instead of five a cake. "t got no name yet for tl new toilet soap. Jepson says put @ pretty girl's picture on it and call it the Clarice brand, after Clarissy, but I know just what would-bappen if we did, s0 he's goin’ to dig up another name. would say folks would get wise to the connection, and that @ pretty girl's picture would be an in- sult to Clarissy. Ho what's the use? I been thinkin’ over what they said about Jepson about durned nuisat Jepsot he has to stick on @ swaller-tall on @ gatary of $15,000 a 1 guess I’ have to, for my income's—well, 1! won't put it down, even in my diary, because those income tax fellers is regular ferrets. I'll see if I can get jorrow ready made. ‘hem enoo tailors is too haughty rbearin’ until they know my 's Dobbins, then they are too slobberin’. Mebbie I'll surprise ma and Clarice to-morrow night. Ma wants inc to have a val-lay, She says it’s a man to tend to dres As if I'd bave a grown man spenders and tyin’ ran get into my neckties over my but it had to done. New Yorker. If pants quicker alone in all veady tled and snap collar button. — Anyw ashamed to look the f a Bhe says it sounds better to have it maid that | have a val-lay, but to Heiden, ye! Jepaon ain't L asked him, and he er lool “AIL I got fe a cook a fey, and that’s Fun for the Home and the Ride Home “Gains 22 Pounds In 23 Days” aL guess he looks at servants the | Remarkable. Experience of F. Gag- / lo, We got a jouse, wilds { HL admit, and 1 can ee the need of non. Builds Up Weight lo keep tidy—sweepin’ ai nder{ auch to lift the work off Ma's boule Wa lly dera—but I like Ma's cooki: the sume as she used to do upstate when| "1 was all we was firat married, better than 1| writes F. Gai do the fol-de-rol messes our French. 30 if cook fixes up, and the table don’ need no waitin’ on, And why sy can’t answer the doorbell and make up the beds I can't see, rice hi ‘aught her ma to say "and “it's expected of one” how absurd!” as a comeback to every kick I make. I gucss tl ‘s finishin’ achool notions. They “fin- ished" Clarigsy, but what they made over into ri somethin’ beyond my figgeri: It's like to “finish” me. It was Clarice’ put the notion in head to have an extra hired man on the automobile, When we first come to New York to live, and was stoppin’ the hotel, we had a tourin’ car that cost me $3,500. When we come into the new house that wasn't enough, women folks had to have a limmaseen, Seven thou- wand. It cost just $3,500 more to have one with a top fixed on it. Then the sho-fer feller that run it wasn't enough. There had to be another Frenchie to open the door for 'em and sit up beside the “smart.” The two of month. I’ the office who's comin’ to run the tourin’ car for me for $75. Then I won't have to itch behind them two button-flapped sticks who can't speak English without makin’ hash of Wit in a Pinch. ,” but now, my CADET officer in the Pennayl- | Sling ML. Llo vanla Milltary College was re- | tatment, ported by a faculty officer for | so utrat etal nguage”—rather a severe mark in tfegine tsetaven 3" at austere institution, At the time | | Don't ray it can’t be done, appointed for the hearing of ‘ex- |} oF aren planations” of marks the offending cadet presented himself before the commandant, . ell, sir, how did it happen that | you were guilty of using Improper | language while on duty?" the Colonel rim package 7 that u folks fat, evi vowed ts" the . Cn 5 Hi Nas ‘The dgrgoh COT rd. In han. Ne rake: Wargo ts aa 1¢ of the riflos the lock snapped VN works” Tha tet atl tat shut on my fing nd it ju matur- FREE SARGOL COUPON seaman, ith 1 ally pinched ‘hell’ out of ni {sites to. i Not only was the mark but the Colonel gleefully repo 0 the the cadet oMcer'a entire corps Tijana ion of his gffonce,—