The evening world. Newspaper, January 24, 1914, Page 10

SPOILE.) Sco FEET OF FILM TYESTERDAY BY SLAMMING THAT BEAR ON “THE BEAK . Now 0 @’ MATTER, age of Comics, sketches and Stories WwW LISTEN You FATHEAD You J PeHTER JUST FORGET You'Re A AND Do WHAT You'kes Tod! IF You GET Fired we'tt BOTH STARVE - SEE? BAST MALARIA HACK- [AN CAN BLUFF MRS. JARR. was decided that Mrs, Jarr | should go to Enst Malaria “for rest and recuperation,” Miss Cackleberry and Miss Irene rs, meeded every care and atten- ‘Mrs. Jarr lay on the sofa in the parlor, and was being fanned. collapse always calls for a anda fan. Mr. Jarr, regarded ‘wretch to be tolerated because Zarr, fond and foolish woman, him despite his callous nature general unworthiness, stuck alm- ly arou: ind, be I'd better také Mrs. Jarr the Jenkinses in East suggested Mr. Jarr. “You the Jenkinses, Jenkins per in our office down: and you don't know the Jen: we know people who live in Jen- B& home to their mother in Phila- | ih Mra, J Pinus until a leave a few miles from Philadel- ‘Miss Gladys Cackleberry de- “Bo it's all the same. No, think we could stay here on when Mrs. Jarr was not here arr suggested they could go Mra, Ja it ils our Vv Ser * they beth declared. No, Mra. Jarr and the Cackleberr: touk the 2.14 P. M Mali train foi jeria. As it was raining they arrived the hackmen re- to come out of Bos a train pulled in. @ tronclad rules by which the and the visitors to rushed to catch the This car, however, ay from the station just as vices In such towns as East re run. The first rule is ho trolley car must oud depot except afte ‘train to the big city hus pulled and the second rule ts that no must leave the railroad dopot just as a train pulling in. this sup t al- At we will go | the saloons For there POP?” BLPPKSK ? CRAWL ALONG THE FLOOR. TO THe Sart. AND BeGiN TO “TRY THE COMBINATION = “THE. CoP ComES IN AND PINCHES You then, grabbing the little boy’ by outed, “He didn't fall down ‘ou little rag jow much will you chatke to drive us to Mr. Jenkii residence in In- stalmenta Park? ed Mrs. Jarr of the hackman, ‘The hackman its feet with a hide trunk the horse ing und mumbled that he did not Kent to take the animal that far in ‘ou are a public hackman. IT ee@ the number on that tag on the horse blanket!” snid Mrs, Jarr. “I demand that you take us! “That ain’ hack license. It's @ dog licen: declared East Malar! leading hackman, a local political affectionately known as “Crim. cense on a horse blanket? snapped Mrs, Jarr. deliberately got into the rickety old hack, followed by the two Miss kleberrys. They had taken no part in the discussion, but their militant gaze had intimidated East Malaria’s leading hackman. He looked laround helpless, awoke his horse, which had gone to with head between its knees, snapped his whip at the boy whom he had previously accused of pushing the horse over, and soon the vehicle was headed for the Jenkins villa, Instalmenta Park, East Malari “I can't take you no nearer, there's ithe house,” he said, after the horse had hopped about a mile, jerking the hack aftor it. greeted the visitors H y he has for himself and his horse? He was pound master during the anti-re- form administration in East Malaria, and that’s the remains of our short- log, Rolloa, collar, SAD, BUT TRUE. A winsome young miss in Dubuque Aspired to marry a Duque. “My fortune,” she sighed, ‘“In- my face”—and she crighed When the Duqne gave a luque of rebuque, ts management subur- Bnites ure kept in good health hy | mace to walk to and from the | Hey I and the t if 4 th ine loses about | sit might | de of the paid re 5 the next train would not be in hour or #o and would only Ko out in tine to train, Mrs. Jarr and the girls started to walk tc ps Villa as the next | o| in that section of | 2 known as Instatimenta East i, main business sec. ljataria, consisting of ocks of saloons and real | | | | Has His Limitations. 66TD) OWN in Zaneevitie, where 1 used to live,” relates Dr, Washington Yount im the Cleveland Main Dealer, “cher was an old colord man who ownet a mule, He bad more repect for that mule than for any man, white of black, on eerth, Unele Billy claimed that the animal could do anything but talk, and ¢hat be didn’t talk because he undersicod the superior wisdom of keeping mull, “Well, one day “that mule was lost, strayed or stolen, Uncle Billy nearly had @ fit, He scarthed diligently all day long and et che end of the day he was about ready to le down and die, A friend tied to help bin, "Uncle Billy,’ he mid, ‘why don't you “ *advertise, Put © plece im the paper ay- ing thet he's lost, That will bring him beck if anything will,’ “ecko Billy laughed for the firet time thet ay. ial 1 Seomasloca ot Biorase 4S ae pe 24, THaTs tv! KEEP IT UP= You'RE DOING FINE! What It Came To. ts $100 a year, If we 800 w year, 1 have allowed $10 $5 for repaim, The fur will come to what {t come to: tindred"*—— 1 know what it “What! aaked the girl "My dear," eaid the fat'icr imprenavely, “Ot comes too standatill, night here and now,” —_—_———__ Child Hadto Wait His Turn. Storie at one of your children, Aunt "Deed an! ‘tis, honey," “What ia its namet” “Dat chile ain't got wo mame set, Mise Rowe,” Aunt Betay aald, “Why, i must be fire or six yeare old, Surely it ought to have @ mame et that age,” the lady said, Aunt Betay nodded, “Dat dove worried me a whole Hit eho’ hes," abe cad, “Bi rine to dot My ole man ‘all de good names on de dat chile des hatter walt ¢well one ob dem die, 00 be can git his name," . honey, Copsright, 1914, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World.) Hey ! yusT Von MINUTE, AY TANK AY BANE. SNEEZE ! Denied the Insinuation. AX oer wee cromezamining @ ere, “You say you left Boston om the 16th!" queried the lawyer, + “Yes, eit,” replied the witness, “and returned om the 28th!" “Yea, ait,” ‘What were you doing in the interim!" never wes in euch a place?” he replied indignantly, with belghtened color,—Pittebungh Dispatch, —_—_—- More Than Faith. N THAT part of Bansas whore they need Fun for the Home’| orl, He thax 1 THou wu and the Ride Home Ad IT we GHT IT TH GONE t) B was a bright young office boy, ard in the jw himself sitting in ‘he he ead, entering the roo after being ant to deliver a note, out and I could got diliver your mes. “Go back immediately,” said his employer, impatiently. “If the lady is stil! out, put the note through the letterbox or under thie door. Get 1 foto the house someow; don't bring it back here, Now be Some ittle time passed ant the soung hop2tul returned with @ satisfactory smile and an air of conscious pride as having overcome ail difficulties and confident of rapid promotion, “Well!” jerked ont his employer, here was no letter-box, air, and the a wouldn't go tnder the Boor, s0 1 tore it up i Mttle bits and auoved them through the keyhole,” Our hero was then through the doo almost in bite--and never came back,—Chronicle- ‘Telegraph, ‘ ———— Forearmed. R. COOKE was a tri M slightly injurod {1 One of the offic. Cooke, “Madam,"" he began, “‘be'calm! Your husband has met with o olight--that is to say, one of the drive wheels of a passenger locomotire struck him on’ the cheek, and”—— “Well, ar," interrupted the woman, “you needn't come around here trying to collect iny damages of me, You won't get a cent! If your company can't keep its property out cf anger it'll have to tabe the consequences, You ebould have your engines insited,"—Harper's Maguzize, —_————_. Meekness of Moses. HERE was to love lost between a certein pupil and the teacher of @ colored schoo! in Richmond, Moses thought the teacher was tzo |" critical, to which effect he had expressed himself “Mike, who gave you the black eye?” “Nobody gave it to me. 1 fought for it.” <a * Moses hastened to say. ‘ou should not aa: agtin edmonlabed eacher, “I have told you a thousand times, You know the correct form, There are me ex- | ceptions to its we, Gire me two examples @ once.” “Yeuum," ead Moses meekly, de letters alphabet, Harper's M ee Ee Discouraging. F had plastered his touched-up heir down H over his bald spot, and he had assumed. tie sort of smile that his female friends called “childish” when be was in college, His shoes wore shined, and eo was his now, And them he called on the young lady, “My object in calling ‘on you thie evening, Gertrude," he began, and then he coughed and added in @ trembli Ml you Gertrude, may 1 not?’ ‘Sure answered the young girl, ‘I allow all “1 am ome 1 am a pronowa,"=* / more than once, with the result that he had been | of papa's elderly friends to call me Gertrude, ‘Th disciplined, “You should never say ‘I her one day durin * admonished the the course of a talk to Yee, teacher, I is payin’ attention, “deed 1 ef 1872,—Cleveland Leader, AND | SAID TO THE BOSS “You BIG PIECE OF CHEESE, IF YOU OON'T LIKE THE WAY I'M WORKING YOU CAN DO IT YOUR SELF > HA-HA! cad oldest of them cven call me Gert, You may pay ‘Gert’ if you wish, What was it you wanted to talk about?” He coughed again, then talked about how much warmer it was ig the oummer THEN—HE TURNED AROUND! 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