The evening world. Newspaper, December 9, 1913, Page 22

pe re “sven the part of physicians to report births fails to account. The Evening World Daily Magazine, Tuesday. December 9: ete SS atiris. ESTABLISHED BY JOSEPH PULITZER. Periished Daily Except Sunta: the Press Publishing Company, Nos. 58 to Li Park how, New ¥ RALPH Be aint ten ¢3 Park Ror J, ANGUS SHAW, rer, JOSEPH Row, PULITZER, Jr, Becretary, 03 Park Row. Fivening|For Engiand and the Continent an@ All Countries in the Interma¢ional Postal Union OMe Fear. ocsssessessserencesses O18 One Monthh...crscererssoracsces 685 .NO. 19,103 Ter... VOLUME 54.....06+ Cente eee eeeeneeeees LET’S DISCUSS THIS TOPIC. OMETHING not far short of $900,000 the city must find tor | rent next year, nothwithstanding its magnificent new premises over which Miss Civic Pride extends her wreath and tries to look the part. The $21,000,000 Municipal Building ought to have been finished eighteen months ego. The delay cost the city last year $1,440,066. Gpace amounting to three-quarters of the building is still not rads! for use. | The same construction company that delayed a year and a half —— _ @atered at the Pegomee at New York as Second-Clana Matter. | Rates to 1e beyond the time fixed by contract for completing the Municipal Build-| ing meanwhile rushed the Woolworth Building and the McAlpin » Hotel through in record time. | Has the city made any effort to collect penalties from the con-| tractors for the delay? Or must it, as usual, take all the blame and bear all the expense? Here's @ good topic for the newly launched municipal monthly magazine which is to discuss city problems. This is not the first time The Evening World, with an eye on our expensive Hotel de Ville, has raised these questions: | oa Why in it that, though individuals can pat up huge struc. : tures in New York with speed and economy, the city must ‘ bulld with incredible dawdling and waste! Why is i that, though penalties are made for the con- tencter, im the case of eclty work it fs always the taxpayer whe pays them! et The Mayor-elect is home for Christmas. But the expect- | ant need hang no stockings till New Year's. a ne A HEALTHY CHANGE. LARGE CHUNK of ultra-seasonable weather was delivered | ‘ A at this address yesterday—whereat many grumbled. | Why complain? Skates were never made to rust nor) « Obristmas to be green. It’s good for folks to have to find topics of | ree other than the mildness*of the weather and “how the) <eMMtous have changed!” | The Yuletide spirit does not flourish in balmy breezes or amid, " bewildered crocuses and dazed and untimely dandelions. With De- ~ eember well under way it is time to welcome winter and be cheerful | « about it. ‘ | * The banks tell us that $50,000,000 in loans were paid off last “week and that the balance is all on the right side. So let’s lay in stock of warm flannels and a winter overcoat—thereby rejoicing! “the disheartened clothing man—and prepare to make things hum. ~ Prosperity is a plant that thrives in frosty air. On President Wilson's tip to the women fs to learn enough political carpentering to fit a plank into a platform. . —_————— : NATURE'S GRIM AVERAGE. - we QUTRANGE that a serious decline in the city’s birth rate should S be puzzling the Health Department at exactly the moment 0 when death statistics point to most gratifying progress in the} '; extension of life. | > Health Commissioner Lederle’s figures show that the death rate| ¢ per 1,000 of New York’s population has decreased from 16 in 1909 to! ; 13.8 this year. New York’s reduction of its death rate for the last! “four years has been the greatest recorded in any of the ten largest eexcities of the world. The present figures put us nearly on a par with! London, which has the lowest mortality among great capitals. | ® Regulation of the milk eupply and organized sanitary campaigns’ te reduced the deaths of children under one year during the same four- year period from 137 to approximately 100 per 1,000. Last week «there were 194 deaths of infants, 43 less than in the corresponding + Week of last year. This constitutes a record. | s Testimony to the efficiency of pasteurizing milk and diligently | epreading sanitary education is overwhelming. The Health Depart- ment will work harder than ever along these lines next year. a Yet—the birth rate shows an alarming decline for which neglect Let the eugenic sharps bring on their theories. It almost looks as if ‘nature were mockingly determined to show man, with all his enlight- =, -@mment and all his increasing power to encourage and save life, how little, even in relatively tiny areas, he can really control his ,.own numbers, —- Letters From the People * mucsta Ie Larger Than United States {United Sta! *9e the Editor of The Evening World: combined? ‘Which bes the larger population.| No. Brasi!'s area ts the United States or Russia? J. B. Rosste’s population ie 160,096,2°0, That of the United States and its 781, Russia's ares te that ef the United (exclusive of the te! \weden's area in and Nicaragua's is The Mosree Dectrin * ‘To the FAitor of The Krening wens ein ) te mites te 173,- 00. we. To the Béitar of The Evening World: +» Is there any holiday universally ob 1 @erved throughout the United States? N M8 the Monroe Doctr! 1 beg to eay that as far as I can see there has been no overhauling of that doctrine. It has been referred to recently because it is As to Hat “Extensions.” that Mexico. I am certain that it has never been applied before by any othersnation aca law. Alexander, Caesar ant Na. Poleon, ne doubt, as Toung aay: + fe the EAttor of The Evening World: I have read somewhere the ® “extensions” from wom “Monroe Doctrines in themaelves,” ‘ a much? ; Dea Par Ly 4 Peo an Te Right. "ge tao Rater of The Brening Worlds ‘We have, bad “a “diecussl ‘Will travelled readers tell us which 8 het whether @ fox barks. A says he does, fare the four busiest street corners 10 |p sayy he does net. Which fe right? PETE the United States as to general traffic, pedestrians, atreet care, autos, wagons, ba? This may interest many. So Os Bitter Fos Bettcee Weee) Cv.F. @ man born in Bngland and Ne. = America become Presi- Jp the Bites of The Brening Word: dent of the United States? = Ho he Betas % & | ie Just as old | marked the Man on the Car, | his whiskera seem to grow.”—Toledo | Blade, \ 19,180 square} Wouldn't ‘t be miles, while that of the United States |® few filme of that Army-Navy game, 84, | to Chapultepect—Columbia Btate. reer In reply to Ia. M. Young’s epinton ot! How Terbre ! NOBODY WEARS Do Your X-mas Shopping | QHow ME SOME MATERIALS FoR AGowN. 1AM IN A eS HERE IS 4 PIECE OF VERY FINE GQ00% PERHAPS You' LL LIke THIS MATERIAL IT'S EXCLUSIVE PAR TRRE ef WELL, WHAT A STRANGER You Are! HAVEN'T SEEN You . FoR A WEEK WELL WELL nm i qq OD WHAT A BLESSING | Now HE CAN EAT WITHOUT BEING DISTURBED BY THE NuSic HERE IS A DIFFERENT PATTERN . ONLY Two L DOLLARS A YARD LET'S Go DA QUIE Ls DEAE WE CAN'T CHAT HERE, THis A CLERK 1S HURRYING ME “Too MUCH Bear it! Copyright, 1913, by The Press Publubing Co, ‘Tue New York uid i il 2 ni CAN go to th erry girly are com a few days,” Just about as young cs Gladys Cackle- verry." “She han a duplex age, then—Miss i remarked. y girls are twen- y-two-Of course that th atay nineteen for s yet. And Eva Ter- Hits From Sharp Wits. Some of the Georgla peaches most unumual variety, te om ~Topene, Wrete Journal, “The duller a fellow's ri eee Ineldentally, what ha good Idea to ship i ‘That wil be Cackleberry girl | | i fa A man at Macon hag invoked the habeas corpus for the Durpose ef compelling his wife to talk |/f | become of the | old-fashioned village known as Oyster | Bweden and Nicaragua! Bay? Pc. | O14 age never can know half what | youth thinks it kno eee ime heavy on ler.--Albany Journal. eee One of the things which rec a man to being a man ts that he doesn’ ‘Time always 1 ‘ nands of the ta maid's capa. | No wonder wi . Twenty thousand women in Chie filled with patriotism and determined cut down the cont of living, have boy cotted exge. They are now living o | When the Cur | Congress adjourned and pea in Mexico, life te likely to ‘Mr, Wilson one giad, eweet poke State Journey the applicable to the state of affaire in have to wear any of those funny brides- | t ee 3 that ghosta are made o "which ts between © airloin beefateak and mushrooma,—Phil- «| adelphia Ingutre DIL ta passed, Wiliger is just twenty-one years and slx months old—She can say she's nineteen for a while yet. But, then, Bva ts blonde; and blondes hold their ages Letter between tw and thirty. 1 blonde doesn't y as much @ brunette, 80 vhy you never see blondes hav- y hale brunettes, A brun- ette worrles more because she sees first. A blonde hair jan a brune knowing they won't be noticed, | onde doesn’t worry. | thought you didn't 1 want Philadelphia and t| Mr Jurr remarked, having no opinton| “Just the same, you sald you didn't SOREREEROSS SORES SESEEOSER ESOS ESSE SSEEO SERS ESESESEE Mr. Jarr Gets One More Lesson in the Art of Keeping Enemies| 99ISISSVTIIIGHTIS PEDIIVSSOSTTIS VST ISSSTITIZSEVIVGISs on grayness and worr; “If L remem- ber rightly, you sald that the Cackle- had the worst manners of " fF saw, and that their vard and that; the respon- sibility of having to answer to their mother—now Mrs. Bernard Blod want the Cackle y girls on your r repeated. ar own business,” “You are getting so old at you don't want any around you with their merry ways. “The merry ways of the Cackleberry Is are to Mght h other and snap at each other every minute they are to- gether when 10 eligible man is around Mra, Blodger it mothera who shut their/They accuse each other of stealing eyes ike a duck in the sand—no, ro.!|beaux, jewelry, and powder ani their eves like an ostrich with Its head | paint’— hunderstorm—well, wha! 10 Inquisit! when round! There are a pt what she to know.’ you take too much notice Jarr, rallying to the sex in its maidenty mani- Copsright, 1913, by ‘The Preas Publishing Co, (The New York Evestag World), 1B LOVE THAT If RETURNED I I8 THE ONLY LOVE YOU CAN HOLD, Another tragedy has been added to the stories of wire auited love, This time, a youns woman took the Ife of the man | she loved, and at- \ = tempted to take her own, As the evidence dis- closes, the main reason was that her infatuation! for him was not RETURNED, While our eym- Pathies go out to the down" “heart bowed nd the distress of mind that t the folly of! adopted, ¥ | to reason, a new hope 1» born him who ACKNOWLEDGES /t No, my dear sister, not even in tals ‘suffrage age, when the aide-by-aide- with-man era seeme to be the dominant chord in te scale of life, can the woman take the initiative In the world of woo- ing, It is man's prerogative since time load, There !y something in the make-up of mortal man that preciudes the tolerance of being pursued. In short, he likes to fee} that HE is the purs epecially in the realm of Cupid, Oh, as we have been told by Bernard shaw, she may do HER share and even more than "her share in the promulgating of plans - \Aab land te tee alias, aes Bever Gane Wi wisi Love That Is Unreturned “(Wish Every Despuir a New Hope Is Born.’’ By Sophie Irene Loeb. P; 1S true that only for! the beneficent creator who made the immemorial; and he must still take the, festations, ‘Besides, I might want to 0 to Philadelphia some time, and I could stop at their mother’s, Mra, Blod- ‘a, So I'll write the girls !t will be isht for them to come over, t's during the shopping season, and (the dear giris so happy at the jthought that on account of the-unsea- ther some of the shops ar. woods at @ loss. So they, the an get & lot of gifts for them- for they are Spugs, you knew-- thus everybody will be happy!” ‘Hurrah for Merry Christrms with leverybody brok ‘laimed Mr. Jarr. “Do you think it will folly Yuletide because @ome merchants’ Christmas stocks are being butchered te make a she give visible proofs that SHE ts the leader, until the words “Will you?’ have |*' been spoken. Man just can't etand (t. ‘Tia the wise woman indeed who real- hiss this, Therefore, if, in the vernacu- lar, some One “looks ver; and you do not took the same to him, (Bolay for the Cackleberry trie?” you had better LET HIM GO. It dees |, "2 don't see why they can't take a€- not take long to realise this, 1¢ you will | Vantage of auch things Just as well as but be honest with yourself and not |Snybody else!” answered Mra Jar. cling to magnified remnante of hope, |"ARYWaY, I know they'll have a good Wearing your heart out over him wiii|time this trip to New York. For Eva never get him. And under euch con-| Terwilliger said she'd give them an af- ditions he {s not WORTH it. fair, Frank Billeon is away on busi- No woman can be happy who loses) "ess, you know.” her self-respect, and that ts what she| ‘What's that got to do with it?’ asked must do If she forever “tags after him.” | Mr. Jarr. FOR HEARTSTRINGS AND NOT| “Well, you don't think Eva Terwiliger ‘APRONSTRINGS ARE THE TIES|would give a reception to two emart THAT BIND. Girle ike the Cackleberry aisters of Phil- The sooner a woman realizes that, | adelphia and have her best beau at the so much sooner will she save herself| party and run the chance of elt! one suffering. of her guests interesting him?" It ts better to cultivate the spirit,| “On, stealing her beau, eh?’ anked “What care I how fair he be, if he be not fair for me.” For, after all, it ‘There are as good fish in the nea as ever were caught.” And business of tomobdile and money when his ‘a would be very foolish. the holidays Eva ci visit the Jeberry girls in Philadelphia and they can give parties in her honor in mould of man did not destroy it, but fashioned many men VERY MUCH ALIKE, Every place can be filled, The ship of life te well manneé. To-morrow, or next week, of next month, you may meet ANOTHER, whore attractions may be just as engrossing, though per- eles Fro To centre all hope|ry girts won't have their jin one, éf he ien't THE one, fe the|But they'll Invite their friends’ be |helght ef folly, and ®ringe nothing but|to meet the girl visiting them from \teave and dise ent. York, And the Philadelphia young |"Mhe fittest always survives, He who|men will be sure to call, and the Cackte- | does not fill the bill should left to|berry girls will have @ chance, too.” go his way in peace. There “Ie that the way it's done?” asked | “THR WOMAN WHO WINS 18 SHE| Mr. Jerr. | WHO LETS THE MAN WOO IN THD wang Cackleberrya’ ‘willgert"* Cackleber- ‘why, certainiy!" wae the reply. tae | "| bloels, eS Early! | .x2itiths, | By Maurice Ketten | nary. bursting. secrets. Behold, a woman came uw: | “Alas, mine husband {s a brute! ‘shall never speak to him in!” Copsright, 1013, by The Pree Publidhing Co, (The Mew York Evening Workd). Y Daughter, who fs this that babbleth concerning “The Things That M Women Keep Quiet About?” For, verily, ’ say unto thee, since Eve told Adam the secret of the Serpent, no woman hath kept quiet about ANYTHING, Tesl or imag Lo, I cherge thee, if thou hast @ secret tell it to thy MAN friead, few he is as a patent ink bottle, wherela much goeth, but nothing spilleth out, But a woman is as a paper bag filled with sugar; she is constantly She is as a sofa pillow which sheddeth; ehe cannot hold even hor OWN je saying: He hath done THUS and SO, Ané@3 And I comforted her and stilled her weeping, saying: “Poor thing! “If he 18 as thou sayest, how hast thou so long endured him?” But when they had made it up, she reviled me to him, crying: “Lo, even MRS. SOLOMON hath said thou wert a ‘brute,’ and mar veleth that I have stood thee for all these years!” And when the man heard it he declared me the “wrecker” of his | home, and hated me forever, And I wept that my tongue had not been extracted with mine appendix. My Daughter, I charge thee, seek not to learn aught concerning thy ; Beloved from his CHUM; neither from his man-servant, nor bis club-feb ‘lows, nor his business partner, nor his clerks, nor anything masculine that {1's in his office. | For, when thou questionest one man concerning another thou shalt | find the Sphinx CHATTY, beside him, And a man, in his right mind, who revealeth the secrets of another, | eveu his enemy, ie called CAD in the market-places, Lo, how wise {s he that hath been long married! beside him. He guardeth his tongue, and disguiseth his breath with cloves an@ | cinnamon. CAN You ' He avoideth the APPEARANCE of evil. He speaketh in subtile hints, and goeth through life as the park squim rel, forever on guard. But a dameel can scarce wait until her wedding day to tell her Beloved) what she really THINKETH; and, thereafter, she keepeth quiet concerning nothipg. Let men, then, continue to scoff at woman for her curiosity. For WHY should a man be curious, since every one of them knoweth | that some woman will tell him everything? But a MAN is as discreet as a hammock on a side porch. Yea, a cozy corner in a dark parlor is frank and talkative beside him, Selah! (Copyright, 11 Told by President Woodrow Wilson. other day. A friend of mine was in Canada with a fishing party, and one member of the party was imprudent enough to sample some whiskey that was called “‘squir- rel” whiskey because it made those who drank it inclined to climb a tree. tleman imbibed too much erous liquid, and the con- was that when he went to e train to go with the rest of the company he took a train bound | south instead of a train bound north. Wishing to recover him, his com- panions telegraphed the conductor of the southbound train, “Send short man named Johnson } for the | northbound train, Hi intoxl- | cated.” Presently they got a reply ' {rom the conductor, ther par- | ticulars needed, There are thirteen men on the train who don't know either their name or thelr destina- tion.” A STORY was repeated to me the A man got In a cab at the Rich- mond railway stati and sald: “Drive me to a haberdasher's."” “Yann, suh,” sald the driver, who whipped up his horse ané drove'a and then, leaning over to ad dress hig passenger, said: “‘Scuse ‘poss, whar d' you say you wanter | guh.” After lJookahere, boss, I be'n driv! town twenty year’ an’ I ain't never give nobody away yit. Now, you jes’ a nigger whee 't is you wanter g0." Told by Fz-Pres den’ Taft. COULD not but think, as a dis- I tinguished toastmaster was hand- ing out to the speakers of the evening suggestions not overfull of comfort but containing something of the acid of the lemon, of @ story told by Judge Howland at # banquet that T had the bonor of attending, We had as toastmaster who was even more of @ “roastmaster” than this i one, ' sohns, Beethovens\an’ Mozarts, An’ all the virtyosios from furrin’ parts; That cam Yer Wagner an’ the rest iv them No longer have the call. To hear the grand owld mi Discoorsed !n proper at; Likewise the charmin’ Of dear old Erin's Ink ‘Yes must come around For ‘tie hard to keep An’ Masten to the music played By Hogan's orchesthray. Whenever we're engaged to play Don-ton affair Little Stories by Big Men Hogan's Orchesthray. By Eugene Gea’ Copyright, 1013, by The Press Publishing Co. ( Y’ mey talk about yer Mendels- jDenis plays the thrombone an’ Mike the y Annabel Lee.) The Judge rose, after being skinned by his introducer, to say that he had no complatut to make; that bie Introduction rrminded him of the story of the tenderfoot Who went into @ saloon 'n Nevada and eat with another person behind a game of poker. He saw the dealer deal from the bottom of the pack four aces and take them up and play them. He nudged his neighbor, whe Was looking at him, and said: “Did you see that?" The m id, “See what?’ “Why," said he, “that man dealt himself four aces from the bottom of the pack.” His neighbor turned to him and said: “Well, it's his deal, tsn't itt So you see ther fome advan- tage in being a ti naster, My father used to tell of an olf gentleman who lozned his coat another man and said to him eg went away: “Don't swear while y wear that coat.” He went @ and came back after two or three hours and the owner of ti coat asked im whether he had sworn. He eald: 0, I have not sworn, but I never felt so much ike lying In my life.” County Tipperary always recalls @ story that was told to me by a Lond Justice of the Court of Appeals im ind. He sald he was holding the a in County Tipperary when @ man Waa brought before him under indictment for manslaughter. The evidence showed that the deceased had come to his death by reason of a blow from a blackthorn stick tm the hands of the defendant, The jury found the defendane gullty, An examination by the physicians Aisclosed the fact that the man had what, In medical parlance, is called a “paper skull.” The defendant was brought before His Lordship for sentence and asked if he knew of any reason why the sentence of the Court should not be Pronounced upon him, The defend> ant sald: “No, Your Lordship, but I woul@ like to ask one question.” “What is it, my man?” “IT would lke to ask what the divvil a man with a head Mke that was doing In Tipperary?” York Evening Workd), In atyle to take us there, ‘Tis then the young colleens an’ boys From Limerick an’ Mayo To all the ancient Jigs and reels Can thrip the heel an’ toe, But when tho inthermisston comes An’ all the di Pause, Yen ought to hear from far ant ‘The volleys of applause, Sure Aldhermen an’ Congressmen An’ Judges also say ‘There's no! in the lané #0 fine As Hogan's orchosthray, Patay blows the cornet, Lar astnee Ty dbrawe danjilo, Terry bange the ba: dhram, shure @'e instruments of A detective is simple ~