The evening world. Newspaper, December 4, 1913, Page 20

Ma gazi ne, Thur | Che Caer cto, ESTABLISHED BY JOSEPH PULITZER @udiiahed Daity Except Gupsty by wt Freee Prbtioning Company, Hee. 68 to Parl ow, Entered at the Post-OMfice at New Tork ar @abecripiivn Ra ea to ‘The Kverng | Por Engiand and \ Works for the United States All Couttries in aud Canada, Postal $3.6° One Year Deal 80 )/One Mon Mouth. VOLUME BA. .ccecceeeeceeceeeeeseser cesses seen NU. 1Y,UU8 A WATERWAY WITH PRIVATE TOLL GATES. ' W's this State has been wres ling with wandals conceraing the barge canal which we huven’t got yet aod which is already some years overdue, another National Waterways Convention concluded ite labors, One of the projects to which the convention has long given its attention is an inside woterways system down the const. And an dmteresting link ip such a echeme is the Delaware aud Raritan Canal. ' Last Monday night the Common Council of the City of New Brunswick, N. J., passed @ resvlution calling upon the State of New Jerecy to reclaim the Veleware and Karitan Canal for open traffic at / fair cates. The majority of the millions of people who travel over the late Mr. A. J. Cuseatt’s fine etone bridge acroxs the ruddy waters of the Beritan at New Brunswick are probably not aware that the Raritan F Canal is an appanage of the Pennsylvania Iailroad, held on a long Iease. AUNT BELL WILL UKE THAT ia Nor are they probably eware that freight traffic and: towing rough the Raritan Canal are carried on under such conditions and at euch toll rates, plus ordinary carrying charges, as tho Pennsylvania Railroud sees fit to impose, For example, the toll on goods towed through the canal is for Piret-claes freight $1.24 and for second-class $1.20 per gross ton. The @lassificution and rating of freight is winborate, and includes six asses. Furthermore, it ie expressly ruled that “steam towing on the | Beritan River and the wa‘ers between it and New York shall be done | by tho lessces of the Delaware and Raritan Canal”—namely, by the| Penveylvania Railroad. Naturally, the Pennsylvania {s not running parallel and com- poting waterways to the projudice of its own railroad freight Interests Do not the foregoing facta, taken along with the action of the New Brunswick Common Council and the shameful bungling of our @wn barge canal, show only too plainly how far we are from under- standing or making intelligent use of the oppor‘unities offered for an inside waterway down the Atlantic Oonst? _ How long before the finely protected water highway from this State, continued by the, Delaware and Raritan Canal, the Delaware " River and the Delaware and Cheaapeake Canai, will be freed throngh- out its entire length from oppressive regulations and tolls imposed by , Private interests, and opened by co-operating State Governments to + the carrying of alow freight at cheap and uniform rates? ae To Study State's Bustness.—Mead lina, ' Brom Tammany textdooks? Sf NO USE FOR US. EW YORK got two hard kuocks thie week from men who have Grown gray and embittwred looking for something the city would not give them. One, after hoping for thirty-three years to find a New York girl worthy to become bis wife, announced that he had given it up and would carry his quest to the country. Tis long experience in thie town bee only convinced him that the Now York girl “doesn’t esttle down,” The other came over from Connecticut hoping to find honest Yew Yorkers who would buy real estate. Some iilied him with prom- ees that they never made good. Others, under the pretense of help- fing him, stripped him of his all, , Ie asks only for poace and a poultry F i : ™ in Mississippi, convinced that “Now Yorkers are the biggest lot . _ @ gilded liare on earth.” . Now and then they find us cut THI, PLACE IS Too EXPENSIWE=, COME, JOHN ——- wee ~ Copyright, 1918, by The Pree Pubitehing ‘The New York Eveulug World), se HEN why will you not return I to your duldes as eifiviescy en gineer, Mr, Dinkatul ached "es voes of Mr Jari whi, former protagoniat of co . Another stupetying achievement to the credit of worn: This anoreioety' sereparetien ') 9eR 8 } by Game 8 payrder chat will put armies to sleep! ec te i , ta sceiieitieanadiina Mr. Dinkaton wave a shudder, “I escaped ere yet It wae t murmured. “The responsibilities too great.” ‘hat responatbilities** asked the 4 of the firm. “You shall be ab- nolved from all responsibilities, Your shall be your own. A secretary relieve you of all routine—"* Dinkston de- cay fs IT NEEDS A DETERMINED DOG. aa NOTE that bigh society has bit on a new wrinkle tn body- | ae \ gusrds, Foreign-bred police doga are now being trained ‘ to protect the persous of some of our wealthy citizens and their women folk, This ought to work out satisfactorily if the dogs can stand ii. at @lose companionship with the fascinating and idle rich however, is| we @ ecvere trial for man or beast that has been taught to bear dutics pest gain and responsibilities, The surroundings are appropriate enough for| eccupation, 1 4 Pekingese and French poodles, of whom nothing is expocted beyond lying on cushions and keeping fit for tho Dog Show. But for @ hard-working police dog with ambitions and his way te wake in the world, the job of guarding a rich and beantiful Indy fe full of dangors and pitfalls. If he can stick to the stmple life and keep his mind on his career, all may be well, But if ho auccnmba to pda 2 Mvelthood, 1 have no tre no occupation. 1 Hits From Sharp Wits. {ft you don't beileve that the world ts ng toward an ideal, think ove fact that there are now In eleven abrolute monarchs ou ate eee pe S acarinetaaienea eaten and beh the temptations of a life of ease his efficiency ie gone and his future | of ® Job—Cleveland Plain Dealer, Be | tmperilled, Sip seer baa i a e! new pal A wine dog wil get himself severely in hand before he tackles hit vanes ae 8 Pastime i an ‘m (F . 1 I to ie q each work, A fing eet we tha ————_-4 = it originated.-Milwaukee Sen- ' Well, nobody expected Huerta to be pleased, ss 8 A atrip of tand an inch wide has been wold In New York. Por @ private res. for Charles F, Murphy *~Tepeka ate Journal, | ee Pwomen merks are up in arma” ertes te get inte the oar during the meh ban Oe ho No ther time eeeme te suit ell te return from ehop ing at when m, The coat of living in an tntexteated f Irresponeibility 1s not very hig! man oan get drunk be Who must etand. Thie is theaverage qubway rider, But, readers, Reve you not been in a car when geome “giddy” young wem anterea and Made it a point either to step on your Geet. or anney you 'n some other way gorwoter our eomtt pon plow m your seat mn these . is ‘Rave just come from a shop- Fe Pwere ous” im the , ® Tam trying to eh fe not man enourh te aive up hie seat to a deserving woman,| A man whe le willing te de anythin: But why an elderly man, after | that he can find le usually able And} ¢ reed hy the something that he can @e—Albany ap that eome Journal, 0 should be at ho may be comfortab!’ se ted? I hoe eee If we can't reduce the price of eges others will eee the question in the Why not start an agitation for more CULeR ANS, F-Balvinese Asnge lena, “ged eoem same light, 6gg8 ta the desea’ Can You Beat It? @ WE OUGHT To FIND SOMETHING IN THIS + THESE THINGS ARE LOVELY Jonn sos aur art and my ideals.” ' “But can't you have ideals tn bust Ress? Cannot art and eificiency go 0° Coprright, 118, ‘The Pres Pabishl By Maurice Ketten Rew Yor Brening World.) HUSBAND, EVERYTHING IN Tig CASE $2 is You WILL (THougy KIDNAP My Lay eae IT WAS MY WiLL You | HUSBAND 16— BABY SIU a4, Oy bun byck. (Sir Antony Vea fi iy Randotph Colelough Wilson. Onvarignn, 1018, by The Ire Hublishing Ca, Ok moet Word), [ It were possivie 10 choose one par- tleular picture of child life and say ‘This is Wid puoi, Greatest of al,” the bb va bs Van Dyck, In the gallery large canvas a1- lee L," showing the same baby, beconing wan degened ty bie own, HKIMSAKLLAA HS AAAAAAASAAARASA SAAD A ADS Mr. Jarr Learns How to Resist The Temptation to Earn a Living KEELE KKK LK KCC KKK KC KCK KK KEKE eee avked the prominent! <urely th Edward Jarr, one Co., wh y.| for you, —-—- | “They were not!” said Mr. Dinkaton. “'T Mke Edward Jerr in his hours of enae passing well.” But as a busine Associate I can only regard him askance Ay a horrible example of middie cluss Dusiness reapectability. Think of me apecumbing to your importunities. 1 Would firet go to Dumness occasionally. Then I would get careless of the higher | tdemla of life. And before 1 kn ct | Would be keeping regular hours, think- | Ing business, talking business and doing business" “Well, of course, if you look at it that faltered the head of 8m th & Co | t ether way te there to look a: {tt asked Mr, Dinkston. “I have seen young men come out of colle; youns men on whom thousands of dollars have been spent to unfit them totally for 4 business career. But they accept po- sitions. For a year or so thes are cae less and are interested in the things that make life worth while, But propin quity, example and opportunity are too much for them. A decade passes and finde them smug, conventional business men. “Why, Mr. Smith, eupsose I should ale wooilens, were congenial At the Gallery, Turin, Flemia, 1809-16461,) myself, jumping from loca! in the subway In order to gain tw ninutes, but with nothing to make life worth the while to spend the two min utes on when I ga'n them, “Next prosperisy wil curse and clos 1 will be hurry'ng to my work. tains to expresso ne, I shall be dressed tke a pall vearer and rush out to taxicabs and hurry to various other places of bus! ness and dash out again—never doin? Anything except rush and acamper-en’ dull and overfed men will look after ne with Dilious eyes and say enviously There goes a huetler!' “No man can have his own way in Husiness go long hi business environment, any more th hie way with @ wif You speak of Fi ‘eadful Caughter and her husband, Mary and Winlam, Van Dyvk’s history, Ike Tittan’s, ie a tate of splendor, a life of the cours, # ploture of gentue crowned In the bios: wom, The young Fiemtsh painter wae called to London by Charles 1. in 1633, For the next nine years, until) hie er ten years, and every Sunday his wife serves him pot roast and he HA® o eat tt ‘But good gracious! Can't doogn't tke Itt asked the bo “What good would that do?” asked way he sday. Becember 4 wirroundings at Smith &| Cupyrigtt, 1018, ty The Prem Puitishing Co, (The Hew Vert Sreving Wertd), Y Daughter, observe my teachings; for a Man, a Cat and a Motor Car are subtle propositions, which only as KXPERT may They ean de neither coaxed, nor bullied; but a Woman and @ Horse, how EASY they are! Behold then, how a man captureth the former, even as he subdueth the latter. from a He sizeth up her POINTS; he groonili apples of flattery. In bis right hand be brirgeth tremblings. He is 8O tender! pleasant waters of Sirtation. hitching. he slippeth the engagement over her neck! , Then, behold, my Daughter, what He graspeth the situation by the can see It. He ordereth her diet and regulat He braggeth concerning her to hi EAT OUT OF HIS HAND, He puattet! her “Old Girl.” He complaineth that Verily, verily, a woman and a hor & possession, & duty and a habit, w Anecdotes of thz Billy Emersonand The Big Sunflower the present generation, who never suw Billy Emerson, {t 1s well nigh impossible to describe him, his superb hie artistic dancing and To think of Fn start and hum Remember tt? “The Big Sunflowe: There is a charm I can't exptain About a girl I’ eats fust se ahe goes past dress trimmod with green. re vrizht as stars at night, So loving and so shy, And the folks ali stop and look around Whenever she gues by. CHORUS: just aa happy aa @ big sun- That nods and bends In the breeses, And my heart is as light As the wind that blows The leaves {rom off the treeses, As time passed on and w: Like friends of olden tii 1 thought the question f And ask her to de mine; But the answer I received How could she treat me Instead of being mine She simply answered “ Chorue—And I feel, &o T called next day drested in my dest, The fair one for to see, To ask her !f she would explain Why she had shaken me. She eald she really felt quite ead To cause me such distress; Rut when I asked her to be ming, Of course ahe answered, “Yes.” Chorus—And I feel, &e. “Squelching S!a‘espeare.” Ne TABOR of Colorado, who atout thirty-odd years ago erected the beautiful theatre that ‘ore his name, In Denver, and which at ¢ By Clarenc WPNTY Phrase, rel on the "Ago I Invented the ou Can't Keep a squir- Ground"—but since Then 1 have Learned that there are Several Kinds of Squir- | relat T You can't Blame Anybody for Re- Ade ‘When @ Man Re- gina to Bunk H me aelf the Bell Starts n to Tolll The ‘Uses of Adversity” may be Sweet,” but we Don't Remember that che Bard anywhere Advises us to Go Looking for them! We never Dive anynody a Chance to say to us, “Hard Luck, Old Man," for ve Grieve to State that we’ done Some of that Kind of Kidding our- selves! Mr, Dinkston, ‘And oo, if T etick to husiness eMficlenay before tong 1 would be dwelling dred dollars 0 was dead—perh death in 161 Van Dyck lived at the court of the king, and painted noble ords and ladies, princes and princesses, the king and queen, time and again. The children of the king were @ favor- ite subject. The Haby Stuart le tak dragsing that 1 never took @ vacation! “No, go back to the chains of eom- but let me, Michael Angelo @ himacif, and he well with the free people spirit of, hie blue-blooded everything to cain because @8 me omer painter ever had. thay have acthing to ese!" “4 When your Frat Blows Of some Other Fellow will Run After {t for you—but even that Bet CA? Lose! Tt Takes some of us a Wearlsome Lone Time to Find Out that the Devil ALWAY@ bas an Ace in the Hole! Fhe Men for Our Money ts the One He calleth her “Beauty” and “Girlie” By Edw. Le Roy Rice. (Author of "Monarchs of Minsirelsy, from Daddy Rice to Date.” ete, Copyright, 1918, by The Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World) ;lentering the edifice, Optimettes Consrgnt, 1018, by The Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Rrening World), observeth her gait, ber temper, her and her teeth. He inquireth her pedigree and her record. He approacheth her cautiously, with gentle worde of reassurance and /f) offerings of green things from the florist’s and in his left he holdeth SUGAR. As & mother sootheth a babe, he calmeth her fears and atilleth her He leadcth her beside the And, when she hath ceased to SHY and will stand beside him without ring over her finger and the COLLAR & CHANGE cometh over him! reins and putteth on the curb bit. He covereth her eyes with blinders, but keepeth the WHIP where she eth her PACH. He TIETH her unto the home hitching-post and leaveth her until he returneth in the evening. (8 friends and boasteth that she will h her upon the shoulder and calleth she Is a Great Expense, ‘se shall travel the same road. For each of these becometh tn turn @ temptation, a desire, a fad, a pet, But in all the Love-Game a man changeth only once—when he waveth the Wand of Matrimony and turneth from Slave to Sultan! Selah, Old-Time Actors uw that time was the handsomest play- house in the West, some time later bullt Anovber opera house In Leadville, which ft was his Intention co make even more superb than he caplial city. It is reiated that served the artist doing some fresco work. Tho following conversation ensued “Who ta that you're painting? hakespoure,” the urtist replied. “Who ts and Juliet,’ “Midsummer * ‘Hamlet’ H wrote lota more; and he sides he was an actor.” er do anything for Leadville? ‘o~I—I—think not.” Paint him out and put me te.” Wounded by Wood, | HE late George H. Wocd, known I to the patrons of variety and Vaudeville houses as the “some what different comedian.” was most aptly named Wood worked in black- face for several years, but found out that he was Iiked equally well in white Bo he eschewed burnt cork entirely. As a tonciogist he was poditively bril- But among performers it was common saying that George H. Wood Was generally “over the hea: of his @udience, And It was a fact. T recall one exceedingly hot afternoon at Gilmore's Auditorium in Philadelphia about fifteen years ago. Mr. Wood was working hard to please, but the atmosphere was against him. A small house was in attendance, and audible yawns among those present were pain- fully apparent. One ‘ran sitting in the front row actually went to sleep, This was too much for Wood, who estopped snidtieniy in his stage tall anc to the drowsy one said; “Did you leave a calle And the man awoke, So did the au- dience. é e L. Cullen who never acta “Abused” no matter How Much he ts Contused! In the Morning the Birdies sing “Tweet, tweet” in the Heart of the Man who has Mana, to Flag that Fatal Firet Drink ight Before! When you Give Yourself a Chance you don't Huve to Ask Anydody Bud for One? . / If you -were Thrown Yesterday ali that you Need to Remember about that Dute ta the Thin, casionally to see that there is no Die crepancy im your Behavior Account! Properly Screened Sentiment ts net Unbecoming to a Man—but Male Senth mentality howls for the Gendarmes! The General Idea of Helping @ Man who i On the Todog te to Yell Out to him that he te On his Way Downhill and Letting 4¢ Go at That. We're Week-Ending Right Along Now at the Pretty Country Hone of an Old Buddy of oure who Picked Hime seit out of the Veritable Mire so Short a Time Ago ree Yeara! The Man who Dwell hia Rumminiterous "Reminiscences "a About Tarough! ‘