The evening world. Newspaper, November 20, 1913, Page 20

- ———— ae bs lib bi orld, JOSEP TL PULITZER. ESTARLT t @tishes Day Hep BY RRA RnnnAnnnnmnnnnn r) TALE PULEZBR. President, 6% Park Row, | i IU NFESSIONS a TAW Treasurer, 65 Park Kow | ING PULICAER, do Secretary, 63 Park Row, | iii ss, Hecretary, 63 Park Ro | HUNDRED ; ine Fast igs at New Tory ax peena-Chess Hite o Tan SEVER ed t Wubecriyt\« t . Por Engiand and the Continent and | World for the t 1 \O TAN Countries in the International | \ and © wor Postal Ua I. ++ $3.60 One Year... + 8 th VOLUM SOFT PLEADINGS FROM THE RAILROADS. KR. HOWARD ELLIOTT, head of the New Haven system, has M put'himself much in the publie eye of late by pleasing come | if desirability of acquiring public confidence in Failroad managément, to which he adds a modicum of method whereby ments on t that confidence is to be attained | It is all very well to plead that a railroad is a publie institution when it isin fact a privately managed affair and when its financing Temains uncleated mystery. Delicate intimations that freight rates ot be appreciated in New England, where the return offered is slower schedules and a shade more politeness on the part of brakemen. Does Mr. Elliott really believe that New E Obligations placed on the New York, New Haven and Hartford Rail- road by Morgan-Mellen management? » Until this load is lifted it is not to be expected that the public will take siock in fair promises. It is ridiculous for a railroad president to plead for higher rates in the face of such high financing. A We note also that Pennsylvania officials are issuing a series of bulletins on behalf of railroads in general, giving reasons why they k a five per cent. increase in freight rates, The chief arguments are that wages and taxes have been increasing at an extra pace and that the cost of capital is steadily rising. Naturally. ‘The cost of the capital goes up with depreciation of the security. And the depreciation of the security has been brought about hy endless stock watering on the part of most of the corpora- tions for which the Pennsylvania pleads, Can the public help seeing through a saw-horse? words and sweet SS een \ Lost, strayea or stolen: From the City of New York—a Park Commissioner. Anybody possessing knowledge of his whereabouts can tell him to send around for his office coat as his chair is to be filled forthwith. No reward. No questions asked, —_——_-+-_—_—.. A SQUARE DEAL FROM THE BOX-OFFICE. F THE baseball ticket scandal and the opera ticket scandal result l in giving the city a law confining the sale of amusement tickets to the theatre or other management which issues them, the New York public will have its chance to be rid of long-standing ennoy- ance and injustice. District-Attorney Whitman proposes a city ordinance forbidding the sale of tickets at any place save the regularly established box of- fices, Each ticket must bear the name of the proprietor and the price. No person is to be allowed to eell tickets at more than their | face value and no unauthorized person may sell them at all, The | penalty is fine or imprisonment. } Why should choice theatre tickets be held for specially favored | portions of the public? Why are theatre tickets different in this | respect from railway tickets, where all stand an equal chance? The only possible answer is that the public prefers in buying its amuse- | ment tickets to accept the restrictions along with the doubtful ben- t efits of privilege. | Disgruntled reformers who have tried to reduce the cost of living } tell us that New Yorkers would rather pay double for their meat and | vegetables than go to market. Is it also true that they would rather be swindled by ticket specu- lators than go to the box-office? ” — cence a ALAS! TOO TRUE! From an advertisement printed on the first page of the esteemed New York Herald yesterday: | | } This Is Perhaps the Only Page \ in this newspaper that its readers do not yawn over, for the reason that A—The news Is certainly fresh B—Much of the news isfound on our page only. 4 ' MR. HEDLEY’S LITTLE ERROR. t OO MUCH adverse criticism” and “ruinous competition” eT sit heavy on the soul of General Manager Hedley of the t Interborough. “Of the million or more persons we are carrying in the subway daily,” ssys Mr. Hedley, “and the million on the elevated lines and , the million more on surface lines, I believo the majority think they | © knew more about how the roads should be operated than those who | have spent a lifetime trying to find out.” f Oh, no, Mr. Hedley. That million in the subway, for instance: t They only know how it feels to be strap-hangers three hundred odd days in the year, to be crowded and pushed and squeezed and suffo- \ cated unless they yield themselves to the seductions of “ruinous com- non out without T get reported by a Steteiot | eae” was the staggering rept» 4 y yiel ot inspector? How would he know who oe ene “ad y y Yow r ve deal » | he Montgomery Journal, Still he ner. | petition” and ride in the buses overhead. They only know what awe! Mike fe have creek Gohl ses ks Dib shat. ky it was at the bar or lunch counter If he severed end one night on « moonilght walk with g the Habit. : they suffer. rect evidence th i E THE CARTAe NIST i Lape didn't notice me ducking in the place in the soft wind blowing caressingly he once more Gettin; Habit. | But how to turn those sufferings to good account, how to extract | aneyy Spm a dob of laundering aver el PHASE Se me white ducka?” started to tell her of his wondrous love, VRAVELLING man died euddenly en@ ua ' ut ho eB! & » ho o extract | money. ile ans re = —_— “He chases the duck because you! ‘Della, dear," he tenderly romert throwing A taken to his home in the Weet, ji ivide: 0! rent. wi m ° chase it first,” said Mr. J " ‘tl away the cigarette to give bi quence fuller ee aera from them solid yearly 4 idende of ten per cent. with frequent two Fe eee tara a gaia ana Prin havtnanianituatinawiflalalts aurtaaalee se a Mr. Jarr. “I don't ives teleplioned to the nearest | per cent. extras on the side, how’ to earn as much as twenty per cent. | ate ntty-five Jars of preserves, That wax om capital stock and how to go on getting away with it amoothly ompany, Now. 68 @ ght to go up will not, glanders ought to be taxed further to take care of the $204,000,000 worth of unprofitable ¢ World Daily Magazine, Thur ohn. Copyright, 1913, by The Press Publishing Co, Ki joel), (The Now York Evening W 1 he's going in business in this neighborhood he ehould Join the Uptown Business Men's Associa- tion, I didn’t want to join, neither, but Gus made me do it!" declared Bepler, the butcher, “Am I in on thie?” asked Mr, Jarr. If it wasn't for fellers ike you there wouldn't be no Uptown Business Men's Association. “Well, what's the row? What's the tall acream?" asked Mr. Jarr. this feller Dinkaton, And he ts a bummer even if he has a new sutt of clothes. Here he opens up # business block to teach the sig lan- Gus was interrupted by alarming symptoms on the part of Mr. Slavinsky, the glagier, That gentleman gureled and choked and bent over and rocked chuckled while at the same time he stamped upon the floor of Gus's back “Hite From Sharp Wits. Denver school authorities have ex- pelled a number of high school girls for wearing slit skirts, which strikes us as being as stern a rebuke to their mothers as it is to the young ladies themselver. @ pig, all right, but we can't help wone rotary motion. “What Is It you do?” t Broadway Ballad Copyright, 1913, by The Pree Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World) By Maurice Ketten Sayings, ts Heple “A po SKA BHA SSSA HSM MAG SAL AAS SAHA ASA SA | Mr. Jarr Finds Himself a Member of a Society Which Doesn’t Exist . and shook him up!" To send it right back to the giver; Your conscience will then be as clear ase the rill nT have in my ribs with laugh- ar SIISALLALLMLSHHKK HHS AABAABAAA AABN M | While she presides in beauty o'er “Give him a punch fn the face,}ing at him, the big boob what used | to be a lowlife! But he is got money now, which make. him a gentleman like are! gurgled Slavinsky. addressing the rest. a dog that will give him the hydrant- Phobia, which means you can't see water but what you throw a fit?” “There ain't nothing the matter with me that I need any water to throw a ft with!" ing up and speaking with some heat. “But I leave it mit you that thie feller Dinkston is a iblg boob to pay nearly six dollars for a glass sign with language on it which says he will teach you sign language.” “Put him out!" ia he got bit by sald Gus, “Put him in adwance from Dinkston you don’t care whether he choins the Uptown Business Men's Association or not." “What I care?" asked Mr. Slavinaky, ising to depart. “T ain't got no use for {a Business Men's Aasociation, I belong to the Dill Piakle Fishing Club, that’s enough for me. ‘What good is a fishing club for you in winter? Is that an excuse to atay| out asked Mr. Jerr. Now, a Business Men's Association, that has a good sound.” “Even my wife Lena ain't got nothing to say when I chuck It in her face that| I am kept late mit the Uptown Business Men's Associat! oe “What the association ought to do,” remarked Albert, the street sweeper, | standing in the doorway, “Is to make a| complaint to the Bureau of Municipal | Research that it costs the men of the D. 8. C, too much for laundering their white duck m What good is it to me} to join this woclation If I can't come in when the business men’s lunch is set see what the Uptown Business Men's Asroctation can do for you." ay: November 20, “What's the matter mit him?" asked | Gus, looking anxiously at Slavinsky, but | pig gult of rusty texture folds id Mr. Glavinaky, arenes | out! Just because you got your snoney | and | | “Tt has a grand sound," Gua dectared,| Match @ blue or a 1913 Coprriaht, 1913, by The Prem Publis ing Co, | HE Wail of a Wife, which is Mr and my judgments are sought withia ‘The New York Evening World), Solomon's, the Gates. From my lips fall “pearls of thought’ and my tongue drippeth ‘cleverness, When I speak among the multitude they hearken diligently a |“Hear, hear! | Yet ONE sitteth in their midst. who yawneth behind his band wearily and smileth not. He listeneth not when I open my mouth, nor applaudeth whea I jclose it. He is exceedingly BORED. | Who is this, my Daughter, unto whom my “scintillations” are as the | buzzing of an house fly and my conversation is as the passing of a fr | train? | | Who is this upon whom my “wit” falleth as water upon cravenette? Verily, it is He that hath chosen me out of all the world—even mine | HUSBAND! | Tam fair, O my Daughter; yea, | am pleasant to look upon. Among the women of Babylon I am not called a “frump.” Mine ankles are covered with spun silk and my sandals buckled | with rhinestones. | All my frocks are “trances” and all my hats are “dreams.” The bangles upon my forearm tinkle with allurement, All men have praised mine eyes, save one alone. | Who is this that noteth my raiment only when a hook cometh uB- | fastened or an hairpin goeth astray? | Who {s this that observeth my garments only when there is something | WRONG therewith? | Who is this that walketh with me in the moonlight | Who is this that caresseth me with one hand |cigarette with the other? | Who ¢s this that kisseth me and glanceth OVER mine head to # the dinner be Waiting? Behold, he is mine HUSBAND! Lo, for Him do I anoint myself in spikenard and myrrh and all the perfumes of Fifth avenue, two feet ahead? while he Ighteth a it Yet ne thrilleth only at the aroma of a broiling partridge and the fr nce of a plum pudding. | For Him do I curl my locks morning and evening and don negligees of | chiffon and sandals of silver. Yet his eyes lighteth up only at the beauty of a new salad or the sparkle | of old wine. | For him do I make sweet mucic and babble ple: nt nonsense. Yet he keepeth his glances glued upon his newspaper an@ answereth /only with “um-m-ms.” Why, then, do I continue to “doll up” and seek to be fascinating? Why, then, do I continue to waste my substance upon baby ribbons, jand sachets, and beauty creams and frills? | Verily, verily, my Daughter, because 1 am a WOMAN, And a woman never ceaseth to hope that her husband shall, some day, | AWAKEN from the Matrimonial Coma—and SEE her! Selah. ————_. Romance in the Subway. By Eugene Geary. Copyright, 1913, by The Pres Publishing Co, (The New York Eventng World), HBRE red and green lights a | Her Tam o' Shanter hat. nate He whispers: | ‘Mid tramp of eourrying feet, | Indeed I do! And big trains crash with meteor flash! gays the witch! Way down below the street, ae ne qians el somesit | He sita beside his chopper like Lk jopping man. A pilot at the helm, Oh, some at Newport bill and coo Heside the sounding sea! Her literary realm. | | ‘They awap the poftest glances, | And others in the hitis are held Only as true lov — By Cupit's witchery. The dainty little newagirl The wealthy And the ticket-chopping man. | “catch” and brilliant order of the dey, the rosy god sheds tears And, mournful, fits away. But Love reigns in the subway, Where the lights shine weird ead wan On the smiling little newsgirl And the ticket-chopping man. A million fervent eighs, ' The quintessence of humor gleams | From out his Irish eyes. Ghe looks in admiration while i Her heart goes pit-a-pat | And sends marconigraphs from ‘neath Your Hair May Match Your Dress, | Even If Your Dress Is Crimson 1G GRTOT decaune your teeth are gol-)tried the effect of bleaching the hair den; not wbeca' your hair is| snow wiite to set off the complexion or pale blue. Thus may run the) the costume, And now one of twe fash- love gong of the future, No; it isn’t ajion extremists are coloring thelr air Joke. Here's the idea: pale blue, The London Globe's Parte ’ In Paris, where feminine fashions and| correspondent says: & lot of other things start, there is sald) “That an attempt ts deing made to to be a dawning craze for making the] introduce the wearing of wige dyed te hair match the dress, The plan of dye-| match tng or bleaching the hair to make it] b becoming to the face is as old as perox-| are rumors of purple and green colffures lide. But now it seems one is to go &/surmounting robes of corresponding shades, “Though not yet indulged in to any great extent in Paris, this new whim fs, apparently making something of @ in the world sartorial, which may even- tually lead to its more meneral adoption in social circie Cerlse threads among the gray! \step further, In cas k: “How some born humorist should n the hair be colored to mason dress?” the answer comes pat: “Simply by dyeing the hair blue or crimson.” Certain Parisian women, wearying of mere yellows and ‘Titian reds, recently "Ob, he must bi i persisted the Not Many More. luserr’ cat en any ths (gen tan eee lad proposed to a beautiful giet some. | call him? Hay, ‘there te gomething th vefore we retura, 1 must tell heard it before, i fm ome miles distant, to make a wreath; the You i we bon should be extra wide, with the *| “But what IT want to know ja why" r tientiy interjeoter | Bett Iw Heace,"* on both aides, amd, tt r : ! apaey jome little boy didn't That wanders a-down to the river, | : here, dimmy,"* impationtiy jnterjectel | way yom, “We Shall Meet in Heaven.’ =| ear—these things it may indeed take a lifetime to learn! | ey ee ews denoe [that feller Dinkston should become # | te teautiful eit], “how many more times are] "SOT ONE IA Ol at me year after year. B' y TD!) “manufacture” the evidence So | was preparing for just such a case member?” asked Muller, the grocer. you going to ask me to marry yout"? ais hartlh ae As the light In the parlor was dim, “Can we Keep hin out of tee place?” Not many, 1 gue, Della, dear,” handied the job, It wae s startling Sess The difference between pride and For “Bowoy” he gave litte kiss 4 which turned up at ie funeral, Tg wes was exiza wide and bore the inscription “Rest im Peace on Both sides, « Is Room We Shall Meet in Heav asked Gur. therefore, we'll let | the young man with great frankness, c him Join if he pays the initiation, which | the other three girls I am proposing to is be | is tive dollars.” |gtoning to show signs of weakening, “But we never paid no Initiations!” vanity depends upon whether we have it or it is possessed by some one else. eee ie a wi And | sent it right back to him, a HOW I GOT MY FIRST RAISE —_——-S— cott's, Picuia aan Giraawant culls said Mr, Slavinaky. | A Poor Sort of Father. aan ! we . f _ “So much better somebody should." | epeyt other day the Dake of Westminster tert Well Timed Yea. Boouts of America is at No, 200 F¥fth [same tine many @ «irl is singt ‘acco rey ip neh 4 , e ed. ‘Fo the Dittor of the Evening World Avante: Mew York Ghy, Intanna Alea lh ge ce gt ON pe Pw Prd piiiyin| Sarl wil par 8 cash prize of $25 for the best unt OF declared Gus, “And, what's more, 1 Grosvenor ‘ three deuces in a poker hand] concerning the Hoy Scouts of Amer Newn deat @ pair of aces and a pair of kinks? | tei aims, de. ARTHUR D. | Wor At Ne, 200 Fifth Avenue, H Bee Réhor of The Evening Workt " » “Where can 1 apy to tearn tne aime, @t, of the Boy Boouts of America’? @ son who wither to join ¥, SCHPLLER, ‘Whe national headquarters of the Boy ive for a meeting of the and see him coming now" — | vad Children's Aid Amociatic ‘This was true enough, Mr. Pinkston | ing the meeting one very got nN came In with a young man, who wore! A epeaker mentioned that one child who | a first crop Van Dyke beard. | een Belped by the society was asked for ler This is Dr. Gumm, @ painiess dene |e mime ) aald Mr, Dinkston, “I have aug-| «amd ‘what is tie Chratian name! sented, as he is opening an office in the | sext question, neighborhood, that he Join the Uptown The story must be true in every detail and subject ¢o confirmation, It must give the writer's actual experience in obtaining his first increase of for what service or series of services was the raise awarded? What clre cumstances caused [2 Tell the at Dilefiy, siioply, uetuiaily, without eae aggerations or attempts at fine writing, Confine your narrative to 250 words or less—preferably less, Write on only one side of the paper. Address “First Raise Editor, Evening Word, P,Q Box 1354, New York City. + May be found in The Almanac, page 47, Yea. | To the Baitor of the Evening World If @ man is of the right axe and was T}born in this country, is he ellgthle to|ington Post, 1 become President, even if his father Bie 8 h ‘1 ain't got one," anewered the chid, vd- ‘ts wee was not born in the United Stat It's a wiso currency bill that knows Besioesp Men's Association. Eh, | viously mot having 0 ghost of en —] what sort | toinly well thmed—aserly er Every time a young mother reads a |description of the, eugenic baby she i thinks « reporter bas been Interviewing her infant while she Was out.——-Wash f tor, wel @ friewd et dhe deer r] Je cermin this morning, So wel time was the & BR. 'ite own father,—Columbia State, ho thing 0 Coniston come toate welahee out," —BeemeneD ‘ . ‘ } '