The evening world. Newspaper, October 2, 1913, Page 19

JSNT THAT RIGHT UNCLE 5SI- Dont CHicwens COME FROM EG6S, INVARIABLY 2 OH ves. Are | CHICKENS COME FROM E645 Twenty Gems Of American Humor Famous Selections From the Works of Our Coun- try’s Foremost Laughmakers. NO. 2—ARTEMUS WARD—The Showman’s Courtship. HARE was many affectin ties which made me hanker arter Betsy Jane Her father’s farm jined our’n; thelr cows and our'n aquencht their thuret et the same epring; our old m: both had stars in their forreds; the measies broke out in both fameriies at nearly the same period; our parients (Betsy's and mine) slept reglarly every, Sunday in the same meetin-house, and the nabere used te obsarve, “How thick the Wards and Peasieys air!” It was a surbdlime site, in the Spring of the year, to see our sevral mothers (Betsy's and mine) with thelr gowns pin'd up so they couldn't sile ‘em, affecshunitly Bilin eope together & aboosin the nabers, Altho I hankerd intensly arter the objeck of my af- feeshuns, I dasunt tell her of the fires which was rajin in my manly Bussum. I'd try to do ft but my tung would kerwollup up again the roof of my mowth & stick thar, Uke deth to a deseast Afrikan or @ country postmaster to his offis, while my heart whanged agin my ribs like a old In Silhouetteville (7 © {awtia} © (in the Wallace Ootection, London.) i 2.—“THE LAUGHING CAVALIER,” by Franz Hale j i ee Teacher—What is meant by the expression “giving tribute?” “You say you've never had a birth present?” fahlone’ wheat Fial barn floor. Johnny—Buyin; inte fo” teacher. “No’m. | was born on Chrietmas Pad “Twas eo All nater was hust and nary @ seffer dis amie ds he : = qurbed the with Betsy Jane on the fenee of her farther’s gaster. We woods, kullin flours & drivin the woodchuck from bis Ni with long sticks, Wall, we sot thar on the Genes, a swinging our feet two and fro, blushin as red as the Baldinaville skool beuse when fust painted, and lookin very simple, I make no doubt My in ballunsin myeelf on the tense, while my rite was was putty fine. I waitid to see what effeck it would dav | Gidn't fetch her, for she up and sed, I think muchly of you." < word you say—so there now cum!" with which obsarvash' hitched away from me io “I wish thar was winders to my Sole.” sed I, “so that you could see some the Bacay cores fire ne in here,” sed I, strikin my buszum with my le @ corn beef and turnips in the naberhood. Verscovius ~ air't a ctroumstans!" ante | dowd her hed down and commenst chawin the strings to her sun bonnet. | ‘Ar could you know the sleeplis nites I worry threw with on your account, bow vitties has seized to be attractiv to me & how my lime has shrunk up, you Weuudn't dowt me, Gase on this wastin form and these ‘ere sunken cheeks— I should have continnered on in this strane probly for sum time, but unfortnit- fy I st my dallunse and fell over'n the pastur ker smash, tearin my close and @eveerly Gamagin myself ginerally. THE CAVALIER, FRANZ HALSe Curynget, 1913, by The Kress Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World). OMB famous pictures have in the| he was the gailant of the town, This coursy of yoara picked uj Wrens | portrait is probably the most aémired names, Thi ts iilur rated curiously | of vane Hale's -ke—his master ‘1 won't listen to your noncents no Headly fay rite strate out what|__ Jill—The Browns are thinking of going to Europe; | wish we cour | Muttonhead—it was a terrible fall. | never thought my face would ine ae Laughing | lecton in Hertford House, Manches you're drivin at. If you mean getting hitched, I'm tn!” afford it, look the same. Cavaiter," t ~me of which 1a Wesgee araat a4 latin Whee , 1 considered that air enuff for all practicul purpusses, and we proceeded) Jack—We can, my dear; nothing Is cheaper than thought. Miss Bright—And did 't? “Portrait of an Officer.” Certainly the) tagy Wallace died in 17 ehe Be J emneditely to the parson’s, & was made 1 that very nite ha: some ind gayly garmented young thed all the paintings, armor, i Notiss to the Printer: Put some stare here.) - SS Se man i@ not laughing. He is smiling, ivories, furniture, everything e . e ° e . ° ° faintly, good humoredly, and with the| haq been collected by her husband, Gir wlacence in? self-satiefac- rd, and before him by the Mar ht that of Hertford, to the British nation, | the targest single gift in the history of bearing that shows how perfectly aware| Great Britain. A conservative estimate the young cavalier is of his own! of its value Ls $20,000,000, To the founder gorgeousness. On the back of the can-|of this priceless collection, the Suet Maybe he looked down upon her, for these he might defend one of them Waldo was aure there had never ex-| ya, in quaint characters Is a tiny| Marquis of Hertford, Thackeray gave » surely he Was of a superior race; of against @ single antagonist indefinitely. isted a more fearsome creature, and he record: Aeta Sune 3 Ao. 1é}t+—age 3 in| everlasting notoriety as th . that @he was quite positive. the year 1@4—at which age no doubt Trve paret threw many tryfn ordeels sins then, but Betsy Jane has bi : eteel. By attendin strictly to bizniss I'y amarsed a handsum Pitas Meme A Romance ot Wild en this foot-stool je & git up & aay I ever knowinl; Stntthin folks, while ei! eaves that my Suow tp shelled by fen ee omen ‘34 Love in the Jungle ene, embracin as It does @ wonderful colleckshun of livin wilds Beuste of Pray, enaix in grate profushun, a endless variety of life-size was figgirs, & the enty traned kangaroo in Ameriky—the most amoogin Uttle cuss ever introjuced to | (CoPyFIsht. 1918, by Frank A, Munsey Co.) @ Giscriminatin public. | (Copyright, 1907, by the Review of Reviews Company.) ‘@ spindiing culture, ni And so Nadara was very miserable very thought of what the effect of this ae fred snd ‘chased pie, es chee et and unhappy and hopeless as the brutal ae es ag a 5 A | " es latfoot dragged her far into 5 ‘ n, the brute power that was in him, new weakness by the thought that # Eetty V incent’s Advice to Lovers | Mealy) witha cudgel a; Ms’ climbing sumuer, JUUEI®, grass. Presently she noticed UMOST at the moment that responding to nature's firet ta was only fair that she should give the him hurtling at the Bostonian’ yellow one ald In return for the ald that in the snarling, blind rage of the death- he had rendered her; that done, aie mitten beast. could go on her way with a clear oem Catapulted by all the enormous acience. + strength of his mighty muscles, the She wished never to see him agaim, upon “Sensitive” Lovers. pete mene a) te Bote ¥ fens youns, marriage Indirectly, bu; It seems to m wr eee |that he le trying to learn my feelings | eeveltoward him without letting me know yourselves ® Sre8t now he considers me How can I khow yal of unhappl- " if you sturd. | 02, Intentions?” ‘What could he expect from that 4i: frm tion, or from any direction whatev . so far as that was concerned? W. HS they not days and days from thelr own der, * people, and in a iand where there the man turned with » flerce grow! nid’ seemed no men at all? Br reae ahd Ne cyan (ail cece thecal | the cave man repeatedly cast ja. glances toward the rear. with a sudden lunge threw herself from Flatfoot's shoul- equat, bearlike animal bore Waldo to but she could not have his earth, and at the same instant each her hands At that thought she gave found the other's throat with sinewy, a little cry and ran to where the mes viselike fingers. lay. Flatfoot heard no sign of purauit. He Keep him guessing and he will declare fr nly, seals Saath wan, growing more, confident. The Tushing toward thern. i aristocratic Hack Bay Smith-Joneses. they lay very atill now, choking with Both were almost quiet now: thelr ae pips 411 nimself sooner or later, ie lat fe ftranger had lost thelr trall The cave arate hoc ge bic Be meee Owe Wane firm, relentless clutch, Every ounce of struxgtes had nearly ceased. Just ternat- — a man moved less rapidly, and as he wen : eoded, - she reached them Flatt of, urgl senaitiveness, from, teint MU, Ne looked now for a burrow {nto which be but one outcome, as Flatfoot knew. in his way, when be muscle was needed, every grain of en: ed them Fiatfoot relasi durance, hands slipped from Waldo's throat aad he mi#ht crawl with the maiden. Then He must fight now, but @he girl should tried to tear down thin barrier the point SWAIGS 1. swearing agonien after @ ho lay entirely motioniess. bh there would be no further danger what- never escape him. of @ sharpened stick was thrust Into BIS moment of that awful death-arip. He ‘Then the fair giant struggled eam ever from him who sought them, Raising the huge fiat that had killed could feel bis gasping, paln-racked lungs Vulsively once or twice; he gasped, ip To-morrow Flatfoot would come out many @ full-grown man with a single atrugeling for alr. eyes rolled up and eet, and with @ and find the fellow and kill him, but blow, he almed a wicked one at the side He tried to wriggle tree from those sudden twitching of his muscles he sttf> , now he had Pleasenten work in view, NMS Ms eid. kc as parribie ‘Rogers, bat not nse: 48 he tones. rigidly and wae very 880, hor did he wish to be disturbed, ¢ im ° joosen his own hold upon the throat of Nadara gave one hoi look ‘And at that very moment jhe caught afm went up to strike again, Thandar 3 with the very evident Piattoot; instead he tried to close » the ghastly face of her champion, “M. B." writes: “What is proper Aas ey Se gentleman to wear at @ wedding after 8 More than the per- com wha ty terever Evening clothes, imagining that| The Parting Guest. some one ts step-| «a. 1” writes: “Last Sunda: 3 7 T went Ding on his toe |i spend the day at the home of a im off his feet bd; Wile abnormally tender feelings are ina tealthy movement in the grasses a threw hie spear arm far back and with hy tle tighter each second that he felt Med Into the jungle, \, eeatiauous state of laceration, And in roune laa to waned b een paying CHAPTER X. Fa snrda to his right. Wallo had come ® mighty forward surge drove his light Impetuosity of bI® nig own life ebbing. He became weaker She stumbled on for » quarter ef @ mine eases out of ten there Is no earthly 2 }o oe) os teen, aah) upon the spot at which Flatfoot had Weapon acroms the DURGred C0et ae cee” time the. char. otiet ai ond weaker, The pain was unenduradig mile aa fast ae her tired limbs woale nine jend sug- . ‘ Nadara but a fe: separated him from Flatfoot. Row. carry her through the enti ) Penson for it, His wounds are self-in: overtaken Nadara but a few moments there waa not duickly over the top of the hide-covered A haze obscured hie vislon—everything Tasses, and then she came to d that we take a walk and we The Trail’s End. » had “ged 1 It was an awful ri / aieted vivid imagination, — | e Trail’s End, after the brute had dragged her away, 1 Mink Ges noe onceit is really at|Tesched the station Afteen minutes and on the instant had sought a higher ® f00t to spar: en the hatry atrocity and pierced Fl fool's neck: dust IT was this knowledge that had and shee ava 4 breast that was get and the be: the bottom of this state of affairs. The| ter. My friend spoke of = good ex- i turned her away from the old Pee of Kround from which he could Yi ei of the fair captive Bhoul became black—his brain was whiszin, h she sought—a little areal where it Joined hia thick drull. about at frightful velocity within the slowly through the valley Burying ® foot of its point Denesth awrut darkness of his skull, ward the ocean. ‘The ‘B ver! e tall 5 “sensitive” person more or less uncon- train shortly sie ond. Dade te village toward which she had OVCTIOOK , (he tall Frame ning a pot either move Detween the time the spear the musoies of the shoulder, it brought A baa Hedine close above them .DFODINE to her kneea tt ome ediousiy assumes that his friends and o call her up 3 1° deen travelling since she lost gar coupled with hia #ix feet left bis hand and the instant that it @ scream of pain and rege from the pow, gor both were etrugsling leas vio- filed her mouth with the refreshing neces devote thelr waking it only takes ‘Thandar’s trail, and scnt her prought his eves above the level of the ita mark it might pierce the one bairy beast. Yently, Bhe Bad been minded te come ter. In an instant she was up agela Deere te & steady contemplation of him mutes to get home from | in search of a new country in which she surrounding funele. been sped to eave, Before Waldo could withéraw his ¢ dar’s reacue when of a sudden 8N4 off in the direction from which eke end bie undertakings Few if any of you think the vA Flatfoo flat waa crashing down weapon from the toush enews, Prat. is desertion of her, and had Sust come. might lose herself from Flatfoot There he watched for a tittle untit ove 4 straightened 01 me aldo’ ws are sufficiently tmportant, Ulira-| girl acted as if she wanted to get rid | Ay the man dragzed her roughly on he discerned a movement of the grass. nat 18 Mba nt eas os sere uae rd Pee ee eeimisine mina aT Ris tae wis the ene cae 2 eensitiveness should draw its consola-| of me? through the grass Nadara racked her tops at @ little distance from him. After moved—just enough to place his arm ing but @ thought, He had fouth She chafed hie hands then from this reflection. I do not. She probably thought you | prain for some means of escape, or @ that It was but a matter of trailing, — before hin breast~so that it wae the onist her off; he looked him, blew upon his face when t idn't realise how long your trip home| way to end her misery before the beast , When Flatfoot saw what falling arm that recelved the weapon wan exhausted, and the y “Dp, A." writes: ‘A young man has! would be. could have wis way with her, But be hie enemy he threw Nadara across instead of the heart that it had been him take care of hi ing from her eyes, 4 - ee his shoulder and started on @ run in intended for, Lu her champion, yet at the then, and she turned deliberately aw: upon him, covering hi Sa ea eect ty OF Rove 19 her Poet, the opporite direstion—at right angles “Hut it served ite purpone ime searching for an opportunity to leave the two men to de cue, and moaning inafticu tuyves ant Ss uare By Eugene Geary, | "27apry, near. j to the way he had been going, howl of pain and rage, Flatfoot, come of thelr own battl rted dearment that y ° *| If Thandar were but there! He would ‘The ruse proved good, for When Waldo ful of the girl in the madn. A back upon the trall In the direction of Copyright, 1913, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World), even If It were but to desert came to the polnt' at which he thad anger, dropped her sprang toward , figured hit path woull cross the cave Waldo. LENT, eid the city's strife, rar aad over yay ped she melee, man's he found no sien of the latter, ‘The latter had drawn his eword— which they dar, something flamed up in her And c&.in as afterglow, . ve ar, and In searching about tg locate the naught but @ sharpened @tick of hard ‘ame dubious as to ti withered the last remnant child-life | And then, those innocent baby talke= ‘This ts Stuyvesant Square. trail lost’ many minutes of valuable wood—and stood waiting to receive his time, But at last he came upon that foe, It was his first attempt to put which he sought, and with redoubled either eword or shield into practical use, ki y eed tet out at a rapid run through and he was anxious to discover thelr tore It from his arm. tall grass ‘Here the glamour of sw: Finds its intersect flow. Whether in summer, when trees are jer malice toward Thandar. As a! pPed turned back in toward the com- foot when he batants she ai pted to justify this hie cudgel, fas. quite sure that ahe would rather die than see him again, for had he not twice run away from her? In her misery she put this interpr While Com: green, homes, rce raises its stately value. és ed but a short distance As Fiatfoot came toward his ant, - A tlon upon the remarkable disapyearance — {ie had pr tened by a thong to his aword-belt, and Oe winter, wane! tre bares al Veiling the light of day, of ‘iMmandar after his battle with Korth when the trall broke suddenly into the nist he pulled the spear from ti - as the cave man rushed upeo him ‘TEE CONFESSIONS OF ARSENE LUFIN. Tee romping chiidren are always seen—/| Here ts a region of quiet homes— he bad walted until wf! Was out of open, close by the base of the cliffs that cles of his arm and, stooping, ered again he swung & mighty blow te the By Maurice Leblanc. i ‘This ie Stuyvesant Square A spot where the children play, sight and then he had risen and fled he had seen from the shill that had given up one of the many rocks that lay ecate low, brutal forehead. 7 ee Other scenes may with Time's course|for fear she might return and discover: him hin fleeting gilinpse of Nadara, ed about at the base of the cliff, ‘Momentarily stunned, the fellow reeled Arsene Lupin, the Fresch thief-genius, ie one of the ‘A Greamy Janguor {9 al) around, fade, him, She wondered why he should diss Ahead of him ho saw the two he e cave man waa roaring like a mad backward for a step, and again Waldo im fotion. by fairy power: But ong thetl be aiware tare like her so muah, sought—Nadara across the burly should: bull; hate and murder shot from his wielded his new weapon. Baprence’. ¥ She was quite sure that she had been f Flatfoot—and th ttle, elose-set eyes; his upper lip curled —Flatfoot trembled, hie knees smote You hear Time's moments merrily sound | A litte ed ‘nesth an old elm’s shade= very good to him, and had tried not to making for the "ava “nat dotted “the bac! ghewiaa hs ‘Aghting fangs, and @ together, he staggered drunkenly, and ser Gt George's towen ‘Taio ls Stuyvesant Bquase ennompaim while they were together: face of the cliff. Were he te reach Wght froth flecked bristling beard, thea, when Waldo looked to ace him go 6 2ST i ee .