The evening world. Newspaper, October 1, 1913, Page 16

The Evening World Daily Magazine, Wednesday, October 1, 1913 | | | SSUASLISHEL 6Y JOSEPH PULITZER Gektees Dany Ers0p: Sunday by the Press Publishing Company, Nom 68 to 3 Bary Row, New York RALPR FULITZUR, President. 69 Park Row, 3. ANGUS SHAW Treasurer, 63 Park Ri JOSEPH PULITZER, Jr, Secretary, 63 Pai ‘Entered at the Post-Office at New York as Second-t mi Matter. ion Rates to The EF is |¥or England and the Continent an@ rh for the United States All Countries in the International and Canada, Poatal Unton. $3.60/One Year.. 80/One Month & fos SOS PAMTONG Ami OI VOLUME 54. NO. 19,032 sevcevece 89. 78 6 eevee Jae 0 oes me MITCHEL LEADS BUT M’CALL DODGES. W's Mr. Mitchel said at Cooper Union, “To-night begins our campaign against Tammany Hall and all it represents,” he stated the plain issue of the contest as understood by the people. Moreover he gave a direct challenge to his opponent, who is at this juncture an important part of what Tammany rep- resents. i It was expected Mr. McCall would meet the issue and the chal- | lenge, for only a few days ago in speaking at the Imperial Hotel he | Genounced what he called “untruthful assertions” concerning Tam- ! many; declared Tammany has “lain dormant too long” under euch attacks, and avowed a resolve to slow up the authors as soon as he | got started. Yet at the first presentation of the issue he evades and dodges. Instead of. defending Tammany and mecting the straight issue, he breake out with a defense of his own personality. “I shall make it the burden of my song,” enid he, “wherever I feel it necessary, rely- fing on my record in office where I have served the people to refute bese, unjust and maliciously intended statement that I am eny- man.” While this may not mean a repudiation of Tammany it eurely is @ote defense. So far as Mr. McCall is concerned it appears he would get only like the Tiger to continue dormant, but would be glad to have people believe the beast is dead. $4 —_____ THE TARIFF OF PROSPERITY AND JUSTICE. Alene BILL that will lift from the people an annual living cost of upward of $1,000,000,000, and at the same time swell the revenues of the Government, is « fulfillment of pledges upon which the Democratic party may congratulate itself upon its leaders and representatives in both houses of Congress. After the repeated betrayals of popular confidence by Republican majorities pledged to revise the tariff downward, the work has at last been done in @ way that promises to end for this generation the practice of using tariff laws to exploit the public in the interests of plutocracy and privilege. A new ers opens for the consideration of new iesues and new policies of public welfare. ‘With the shifting of a large part of the and cent date to hand and contents noted. uery as to why I) should have this trip wished on me in. i t burden of taxation from the market basket of the worker to the luxu- removing one of the chief causes of discontent will tend to bring about & closer harmony between all sections of the country and all classes of the people. that even the most highly protected manufacturers under the old spoliation tariffs ao longer threaten to shut down their mills and go out of business. The conditions of industry would render such basket, the tariff of prosperity has arrived. —_——4- CIRCUMLOCUTION AND THE BALLOT. Y BE ef ciroumlooution, her “chief moral blemish,” Prof, Zueblin ef Chicago has turned on the suffragette radiator and started G.aow heated term just as period of pleasing coolness had eet in, ax tn thet way eo much es men do, and finally some assert that cir- @amlooution on the pert of a woman traly charming is not blemisi babe fascination. ‘ 5 eal possible mistake in the Professor's statement is the prescri; iption Pte ballot 0s « cure for a tendency to talk round @ subject instead Any man or woman having an open and du- Genstore and Representatives have not only the ballot in ri elections, but also in their -m he go weting more or less every not their chief moral blemish. OUR UNDERGROUND MARVELS. S*= HUNDRED FEET under the bed of the East River two the other from Brooklyn, have been connected, the junction being eo nearly perfect that at the line there was a variation of but two inches and on the grade less than half an inch. will never receive the popular admiration it merits. Builders and engineers of old Rome carried water along aqueducts constructed sbove ground over a series of massive arches as impressive to the them, artists paint them. But the underground way that is to lead water from the Catskills through the great city, and which in its other proportions as well as in its length will be large enough to be called that benefit by it. New York will continue to be famous and to| excite foreign wonder mainly as the city of skyse of its mightiest works are under the earth and be: ries of wealth there has been effected a long delayed justice which by It is to be noted as one of the promising features of the situation threats ridiculous, With the taxed inoome and the untaxed market ABSERTING that « grant of the ballot would relieve woman Geme declare @ women never ciroumlocutes; others eay she does not hese various wranglers mistake the issue. question should study Congressional orato airing day. Yet their addiction to circumlocution tannels bored through solid rock, This marvel of engineering being underground and out of sight eye as to the mind. Every wayfarer secs them, photographers picture canal, will hardly be known to even a small percentage of those rapers, though many neath the rivers, fees Menace In Roof Tanks, Papers are stating that the provalonce fi uree to five inches of dirt of typhoid fever is due to jinpure milk, 1. Many of the tanks are not Allow me to state a few facts, Tam at ted! from frost by an in Work in a renting oMce for a real estate PUT OF from dirt by a cover, By firm and hear frequent complaints Thone Five Odd Nom’ | ebout dirty water from tanks on the) 7 the bditor of The Hvening World root. The tenants complain, If we| ! Answer to A. Th. ©. about five odd | Mention this to the owner he some- numbers added together to make the times says; “Notify the Janitor; no| SUM of twenty-nine, I will aay that the mere expense.” Janitor nays tt is not| Ve numbers added together are one, send for a plumber, | three, five, seven and thirteen. oe Vere 04 to , Ghee conditions are equally bad, WILLIAM J. MAAS, Eptstle No. 8—From Kéward Jor, York, TY: Jon Board respective halle of legislation. They are ‘A Gch (agen alan on bavnaat In reply to your . lke @ home without a mother, on¢ starting from Manhattan, |took the trip and wrote in for me to cable you $0 I would only be able to notify you that in the absence of the: cashier the matter was held in abey- ance AKO. | ator irre a The point of note| conen, 11 w tere rae, (CONGUests of Constance (Tbe Now York Evening World), en route to Panama, to Ales. John aon, cashier for Smith 4 Co., New Prins Auguste Wilhelm, tiago de Cuba, Sept. 18, on Alex. for the firm, please cable me #250 to Panama. 1 have yours of re- merous, an office without a cashier is If you We are just sailing away from Sant!- The beauties of this picturesque and historic old harbor and town can- not be pictured, hence It would be idle for me to send you any postcards, But if T find your cable for $20 at Panama |1 will send you a whole deck of them. 7 Hits From Sharp Wits. Pa., telephone oper+ bequeathed — $2,000,000 Lis. That Neweast! who was should worry over . . It seems Just Ike burning money, but speaking of coal, it's a case now of “to bein or not to bein.’ oe Stockings with red bows, It seema, are the Denver police when the ompany a elit skirt see Wilson attended a vaudeville show, upying a 69 cont seat. That contro- versy with Mexico must have instilled @ sense of humoy in him, ee That Denvei arrested for wearing a skirt wilt to the knee declares she would like to Wear one slit to the woman hips, Hip, Hip, Hurrah. Milwaukee Sentinel, eee “Calf hides hy sign in a window, Mean trick to give awey on it.—Phila- Inquirer, ot the Issue” «\xekehei vn ro! TROPICS. Ketten le By Maurice eeetee | SHOULD Worry! “TAMMANY 1S NOT THE ae =>. SSS SN SS PAL LALELALALALLAALLLL TET Mr. Jarr Writes Back Home for $250; But at a Pinch He Will Accept $2.50 Secccceccorooooracoecoesesoesoeoeaonosaesooanseseee guide, that the Spaniards lost all pres- Uge in Cubs after the Battle of San Juan Hill, because the Americans and Cubans with only fourteen thousand woldiers decisively defeated fully six hundred Spaniard: Up to that time the haughty Dons had held el Americanos (that's us) ip contempt, They had proudly claimed that one Spaniard could whip a thou- eand Americans, but, according to the guide, backed up by @ grouchy person Uy athe who came from Boston and in cons quence hates everything human, the battle of Ban J refuted the boast of the Spaniard forever. This Boston Tea Party—I call him so because he is addicted to tea in every form—also muckraked Columbus. Yes, this billous Bostonian said tnat Columbus, alias Colon, after getting the royal “angels” Ferdinand and Isabella to finance hit taway, Intended to sail a few hundred Spanish versts and / then beat it back and sell the statos’ righta to the moving pictures he took. But he went just a little too far, and, getting the trade winds behind him, couldn't turn his caravels around and #0 just had to keep moving untill he struck San Salvador. This Boston Tea Party would have fought the war with Spain totally dif- ferent from Roosevelt also, he said. I let him rave, but there is one thing he said that sort of sticks, As we sailed into harbor of Santiagn where Ci I have seen old Moro Castle and the tortuous channel where Hobson sank the Merrimac, the battlefield of San Juan Hill, where the charge of El Caney was made, where Richard Hard- ing Davis wrote “Soldiers of Fortune.” 1 find, according to @ veracious young By Alma Woodward Copyright, 1013, by The Press Publish ng Oo, (The New York Evening World). { 66 IN'T th'|wanderin’ in an’ out uy th’ kitchen, An’! ) A days mel-| every time he'd bend over th’ glasses ancholy?"| an’ say: ‘Well, I guess it's harder'n it inquired Conn!@) wus, anyway’. An’ all th’ time it wus mc plaintively, jus’ plain grape soup, th all, Well, “Stop being poet-| yuh know things like that get on yer it in the neck the question teal” 1 reprimand-| nerves. ,|for the several millionth time: é ed, “But, speakin’ uv fiszies in th’ cookin’! wpie why did Cervera rush out of A “No, honest,” she| line, recommend me to th’ Amatour! gantiago, only to court destruction and = relterated, ‘‘these| Chef. I met him about a year ago. He} geqtno" re here daya make me| wuz th’ kind what always p Mke I coul@| dreamy 11k clmar, under his nose before he lights tt, he wuz always babbiin’ about th’ delicious bouquet thi had. Although, between you an’ me, nothin’ more delicate 'n a bouquet uv cabbage an’ soallions could ‘a’ left a impression on th’ nose he sported, But he had a great idea that if any uv th’ big hotel And the Boston Tea Party (who had been there before) sneered scornfully and replied: “Wait till you get to Santiago and you'll know why." He was right. We may have freed Cuba, but the Cu- bans will never forgive us for intro- } feel cold-shoulder a rea! blooded pedigree ‘thout havin’ no regrets. Why, even in th’ evenin’s, goin’ home in th’ aub, yuh oughter see th’ frozen gleams in my lamps if any gink gets unseemly in hia glances. It jus’ | Twenty Gems Of American Humor Famous Selections From the Works of Our Coan- try’s Foremost Laughmakers. 1.—MARK TWAIN.—The Jumping Frog of Calaveras. Won thish-ver Smiley had rat-tarriers, and chicken cocks, and tem-ests, | and all them kind of things till you couldn't rest, and you coulé@art fetch nothing for him to bet on but he'd match you. He ketehed @ frog.one day, and took him home, and ald he cal'lated t educate him; and so he never done nothing: for theese months but eet in his back yard and learn that freg jump. And you bet you he did learn Mm, too, He'd give him a little punch behind, and the next mtn ute you'd see that frog whirling In the air like a doughaet —seo him turn one summerset, or maybe @ couple, If he got @ good start, and come down flat-footed and all right, like a cat. He got him up ao in the matier of ketching files, and ken’ him tn practice ao constant, that he'd nelle fly every time as fur as he could see him. Smiley naid all a frog wanted was education and he could do ‘most anything—and I believe him. Why, Ive seen him set Dan'l Webster down here on this floor—Dasht Webnter the name of the frog—and sing out, “Fite, Dan'l, file and quicker’n you could wink he'd spring straight up and snake @ fly off'n the counter there, Licammend iN flop down on the floor ag’n as eolld as @ gob of mud, fall to scratching the eide of his head with his hind foot as indifferent as he hadn't no idea he'd been doin’ any more'n any frog might do, You never @ee & frog so modest and straightfor'ard as he was, for all he wes so gifted. And when it come to fair and square jumping on @ dead level, he could get over more ground at one straddle than any animel of his breed y: er eee, Jumping on a dead level was his strong sult, you understand; and when it come to that, Smiley would ante up money on him as long asx he had a red. Smiley was monstrous proud of his frog, and well he might be, for fellers that Bad travelled and been everywheres all said he had laid over any frog that ever they see. Well, Smiley kep’ the beast in a little Iattice box, and he used to fete him downtown sometimes and lay for « bet. One day a feller—a stranger in the camp, he was—come acrost him with his box, and says: “What might it be that you've got in the box?” And Smiley says, sorter indifferent-like, “It might be a parrot, or @t might bea canary, maybe, but it ain't—it's only Just a frog. And the feller took ft, and looked at !t careful, and turned {t round thie way and that, and says, “H'm—no tis, Well, what's he good for?” “Well,” Smiley eays, easy and careless, good enough for one thing, T should Judge—he can outjump any frog in Calaveras County.” The feller took the box ay and took another long, particular loom and give it back to Smiley, and . very deliberate, “Well,” he says, “I don't see no p'ints about that frog that's any better'n any other fro “Maybe you don't,” Smiley says, “Maybe you understand frogs and maybe you don't understand ‘em; maybe you've had experience, and maybe you ain't only @ amature, as !t were. Anyways, I've got my opinion, and I'll res forty dollars that he can outjump any frog in Calaveras County. And the feller studied a minute, and then says, kinder sad lke, “Well, I'm only a stranger here, and I ain't got no frog; but if I had a frog I'd bet you" And then Smiley says, ‘That's all right—that's all right—if you'll hold my box a minute I'll go and get you a frog.” And so the feller took the box, and put up his forty dollars along with Smiley's, and sect down to walt. So he set there a good while thinking and thinking to himself, and then he got the frog out and prized his mouth open and took a teaspoon and filled him full of qua!l shot—filled him pretty near up to his chin—and set him on the floor. Smiley he went to the swamp and slopped around in the mud for a long time, and finally he ketched a frog, and fetched him in, and give him to ‘Now, if you're ready, set him alongside of Dan'l, with his forepaws just even with Dan'l's, and I'll give the word.” Then he says, “One—two—three—git?” and him and the feller touched up the frogs from behind, and the new frog hopped off lively, but Dan'l give a heave, and hysted up his shoulders—so—Hke a Frenchinan, but it warn't no use—he couldn't budge; he was planted as eoli@ asa church, and he couldn't no more atir than {f he was anchored out. Smiley ‘was a good deal surprised, and he was disgusted, too, but he didn’t have no idea what the matter was, of course, The feller took the money and started away; and when he was going owt at the door, he sorter jerked his thumb over his shoulder—so—et Dan'l, an@ says again, very deliberate, “Well,” he says, “I don't see no p'ints about that frog that's any better'n any other fro Smiley he stood scratching his head and looking down at Dan'l @ tong time, and at last he says, “I do wonder what in the nation that frog throw’d off for—I wonder if there ain't something the matter with him—he ire to look mighty baggy, somehow.” And he ketched Dan'l by the nap of the neck, and hefted him, and says, “Why, blame my cats {f he don't weigh five pound!” and turned him upside down and he belched out a double handful of shot, And thea he see how it was, and he was the maddest man—he aet the frog down and took out after that feller, but he never ketched him, (Copyright, 1907, by the Keview of Re Company.) The Day's Good Stories They Surely Must. Then the other fellow ears, “That's Blak, @ HE old eee 7, wis standing o8| way atts ne aoe “Why nott"* the corner of the main street Ine certrin) “Oh, he's elwaye trring to start something,“ little Kentucky town, had never seen an ser, Quarrelsome disposition, eb?" automobile, , Rot at all, He owns @ motorcyela“me —' When s good-sized touring car came rusbiog up| Cleveland Plaia-Dealer, As the street at about thirty miles an bour and . slowed duwn just enough to take the corner on —————— two wheels, his astonishment was extreme, No Wasted Energy. ‘The old fellow watched the diseppraring car with bulging eyes and open mouth, Then, tura- {ng to a byttander he remarked solemnly; “The borses must sho'ly he’ been travelling some when they got loose from that gen'leman's carriage!" —Philadelphia Ledger, ee re It Wouldn’t Start. HEY'VE got @ new joke over at th mobile club, They ming it on 7 stranger that will bite, but they won't N East Sizty-ninth treet mother @ the precocious economy of effort @leplayed by her aiz-year-old son, “Frederick,” ehe celled to him the other afternoon, “go up and wash yourself this minute, You are frightfully dirty, “Why, mother, my hands ain't a bis @inty,” he objected, holding out those members fer ti q@ection, “But your face te dirty, Go and wash i” “You wash my face for me, mother, spring it any more, because everybody will kuow| ‘Nonsense, Can't @ great big bay Uke gu tt after {t 18 printed here, wash bis own face?!’ The stranger ta led to ask, “Who to that men] = "Yes, but I'd Get my hands wet, end ‘over in the cornert’* wy hands don’t need {t,""—Cleveland Plain Deals, UCH a Mttle Re S mono as this one belongs tn every layette, Raby will surely heed its warmth, It ip essentially dainty and attractive seems like I've lost all th’ coquettishness| men could ‘a’ got a line on his cookin’ SPORE Ban ee Gre coal Taeetara 7” ple whthate 4s faa what wus once found in my sparklin'| they'd be committin’ murder fer his!‘ we reached Santinzo at dawn, ‘The plece and ‘the teeee jan’ ardent nature! What d'yuh s'pose| services. whole night long we slipped by the hilly dure tied together Une jis th’ matter?" “No matter where yuh took him to.| coast of Cuba as though on rubber Ger che arma, 38 tae "Maybe you're tired out—maybe you've! he'd volunteer to ‘throw together a little} moles, and every soll was up all hours rere inl eteoitenne been working too hard,” 1 suggested, | dish that'd make you rave’ First he|to rubber, Beneath the moonlight the tind” the “hand. Work knowing how ready people are to ac-|tried it at our house until ma bein! misty hills went by as a passing pano- is charining, but, knowledge that they're worked.to death lockin’ th' eggs and butter in pa's chif- mans oF Fravadlae & matter of court “L guess that's it," she agreed, yawn- ing most Infectlously, “It's preservin t yuh know; ant nights when I get home ma pits me to work washing out glass jars an’ tasting things to s@ if there's enough sugar in ‘em (‘cause ma fonier. After that he always hinted fer) ‘There are four clergymen aboard, and me to take him toa friend's house. An’,{; jeing also along makes the crulae ure enough, ‘bout 10 o'clock he'd hint! geom a sort of religious procession, The himself into th’ Kitchen an’ get busy.) sailors have an old superstition. that He made up names fer th’ dishes as he) when clergymen are aboard It means a went along. An’ they wuz such craay| voyage that will need the last sad| bands of the mat rial could be used finish the edges. Cashmere and tross are the mate rials largel: for kimonos of, Put q cque ie $ ittle jlost her taster when th’ dentist got! mixtures that he Kot away with It! cites for some of the passengers. Made Of wean, through pastin' her with plaster uv| when he sald they wuz native recipes! on the other hand, the presence of silk lined with ee ix last time she had a set made.) An‘|frum Brazil an’ th’ Sandwich Islands,!req headed ladies {s counted, like a fare, White with [after yuh been at it all day It ain't no|&c, An’ people wuz afraid not to eat! sunset at sea, a good omen for a safe pink makes @ pretty cinch to tackle things as uncertain as|'em fer fear they'd show they wuzn't|/and pleasant voyage, it being an old sacque or the seale preserves, sr Instance, last week there| cosmopolitan! See? sentaring tradition that ® redheaded hound ‘aite. Cog Wus th’ grape jelly, “Well, I tratled as long as I could, until) woman is good for any ship—friendship, With, bins Stripe. OF | “A frien uv ma's what lives on th'| th’ linin uy my Little Mary got all em-| courtship or steamship, material ote outskirts uy Wi ken brings over a big basket of grapes at z, ‘They make gran’ jelly.’ So ma went to tt broidered with them dee-funct recipes; an’ It wus @ ci uv elther a starvation diet or else kick th’ buck So when immediate, An’ there she wus balancin'|1 explained to him, gee, he wuz th’ th’ cookbook on her foot while ahe/ peevest thing I ever seen. So 1 ses | stirred with one hand an’ akimmed with|to him: th’ other, and when it wuz done there! * ‘Well, if all yuh wuz goin’ with me | Wua thirty;three glasses an’ th’ bi to get th’ thing didn’t Jeli! Ma said ehe wusn't| chop suey out uv what wus meant to be to do no more fussin' wit it; #0} cup custard,’ I sez, ‘yuh c'n go a little boll 1t down again an’ add some) further, Yuh should ‘a’ told me it wus gelatine an’ no one'd know th’ diff'runce, | a commissary department yuh wus seck- “@o she did. An’ when she got/in!’ I ees. through there wus only twenty-two) ‘An’ he kn wlasses, An’ it didn't set 80's yuh could/ even though notice it, evem then, An’ granpa'’d some|iaaguaga” | 1 wus {nsultin’ him, didn’t understand ‘th’ oo aqereains plies to build al We had four redheaded lady passen- Igers, one of them from Auburn, New York. And curiously enough it was this one that all the others declared was not a natural sorrel, even though | what you might call a real dyed-in- | \the-wool redhead. We reach Kingston, Jamatea, to-mor- | row, and Colon, In the Canal Zone, two days later. Tf you can't send me %0 as cashier send me $2.69 as a friend, | Have a heart! Respectfully yours, PD, JARR. P. &.—The “respectfully yours” thing doesn't go if you make it 62.50. Under- Gand wet as ne long kb: » will be ner tie" short Wlmoge yards of material a6 or 444 ‘ard any widt) ern No, SOLR is cut one size only. te Ta yards hes wide; £ Call at TH EVENING WORLD MA¥ MANTON FASHION BUREAU, Donald Building, 100 West Thirty-second street (oppo site Gimbel Bros), corner Sixth avepue and Thirty-second street, York, or sent by mall on receipt of ten cen in cola er, stamps for each pattern ordered. IMPORTANT—Write your address plainly and eiways tine wanted, 444 two cents for letter postage if in @ hurry,