The evening world. Newspaper, September 19, 1913, Page 23

N \ ‘ DOG THRT wWu2 i A WOODEN $$$ T WUN6ST KNEW A SMART, HE WOULDNT TITE A MAN WITHS LEG Tou So OH-H-H ae al & wy DOMESTIC By Alma DIALOGUES Woodward, Coprright, 1913, by The Press Yuuiuatng Co, (The New York Kvening World). The Downfall. Geese: The Brown's flat at @ P. 3. (da Mr, B, enters Sirs, 13, confronts him, etirts looped’ uy and pinned about ber waist, hee Beir awry, in Ler mgot baud soe brendiaues @ formidable looking vrusd.) Mr, B. qwuddenly)—For ne love of Pete, what've you been up to? You look =U! the coat-of-arms of Scrubwonen's Secret Society! Mra. B. (pulling him in)—it you'd only come home at your usual time instead of earlier, 1 would have been all fin- ished. Why Is it when I want you to come home early you always come Yate and the other way around, tov? Well, I'm not going to let you come fa until I'm finished, anyway. It'll take only a few minutes more. (Gir, B. shores him into the first bedtuom | ying and atiempts to clove the door.) (taking bold of the knob)—No "t, Even if you want me to stay I have to breathe, you know. 'o the great secret? Maybe I help you in what you're doing. B. (ecorntully)—Do you think 1 your help? Wouldn't I have walt- you to come home if I had? No, nun ‘Mr. B. (impatiently)—Well, what te tt you've been doing? ‘Mrs. B, (obstinately)—I'm not going to ‘ all you. And don't you go creeping in 8 § vit $3 g id to peek, Decause I'l lo, iy>—Well, go and finish king so much If you ex- stay in this Mttle call me. rateed, admontshing a just better! B.. care alert, bears vio- Mrusik, creaking ‘buarte 00d ra] i 5 E i 7 : i a & to you e i Ae £ Fs j i eff (after @ few minutes)—Can't I , @eme in yet? Mrs. B. (clarion tones from the die tance)—You can NOT! Now, don't get me all nervous and upset, Freddie by nagging at me I'll let you in the frst minute I'm finished, Mr, B. (plaintively)—Well, it's aot in here, an’ I want to wash. Mrs. B, (philosophically)—Oh, !t won't kill you to walt a minute more to wash. (Mz, B, starts to whistle “Hearts and Flow. em." Mra. B. eet up counterpolat opposition with “Yanko: Doodle," Mr. 3B. (very peeved)—Say, if you think you're going to— Mrs. B. briskly, from the other reoay Now you may come in. (Mr, Bi. otarts up the bell, toward the living oom, Frery few steps he finds hie eogress te retarded by the soles of bis chow oticting to the Noor.) Mr. B. (explosively»—What thet— B. (appearing with the brush)— ith you sow? ip one foot, faminge Mr. B. (holding fashion)—What's this aticky stuf you've dropped on the floor? Did you smash & bottle of jam? Mrs. B. (apologetically)—Oh, I guess some drops must have dropped off the brush when I went down the ball Ob, |, it can be washed off ib a little turpentine. Come en in and look ané stop your kicking. (Mir, B. Jeads him by the eltow oom, He finds thst the Door fate the © damoly sucky appearance.) Air. B. (oplutierings—Weill, what Rave you— Mra. B. (interrupting pompousiy>— There! There's your floor all shellackedé and done as well as any expert could de i. YOU wouldn't do it, You wanted @ man and spend four of Sve dollars on 1 id here I've done it and all it cost was the can of shellac, (Triv uxphantly.) You see I'm not as belp less as I look. And I want you te ne tice another thing I did that denotes the use of brain, even if I do say it my- eelf. Instead of waiting until I'd fa- fshed the whole thing to put the fur ture back, I placed each piece as scea B. (roaring odarsely) — Umph! Gee! That's a hot one! Of course you were planning for stationary furniture Mr. B. (indignantly)—What do you mean? Mr. B. (relishing th: situation)—Well, the furniture’ll be stationary al! right! In fact so stationary that it'll take a chisel and an axe to make it movable again. In other words, it'll be frosen to the floor! Mrs. B. (getting wise at last)—You mean thing! That's right, make fun of me after I've done that horrid work, just because I made a little mistake, Mr, B.—Well, a8 soon as we've rect: | fled the little mistake and pried the stu@ three or four dollars to do the floor, ent Mra, B, (flouncing eut of the room— Oh! You brute! Mr. B. (sollloquizing)—Well, {t'll be @ good thing to mention in the future whenever I want to take ber down @ peg or two, BETTY VINCENT’S ADVICE TO LOVERS Superficial Prejudices Y is unwise for | a girl to permit herself to be Prejudiced agali a man for super ficial reasons, You perhaps know the story of the young woman who suid that there were four men whom she would never marry =a Frenchman, @ Protestant, a clere eyman or @ Wide ower, And in due season she became the third wife of French Protestant preacher. She wa sensidle enough to shed every one of her wite superficial prejudices, uld have been even more een- if sho hadn't cultivated them In the The things that really count about a man are his clever his honest tesy, his breadth of view—not the color of his eyebrows or the style of necktle he prefers, "Ifa young man and ng away together, her to carry the “HH, M." writes young woman are & fen't it proper for Junch box when he is carrying @ grip containing bathing sults?’ Strictly speaking, a man ts supposed to carry all the bundles, But if they are many and heavy, 1 think @ nice girl helps him out “C, 0.” writes: “What are @ girl’e duties to a young man after she has become engaged to him? Should she wive up the attentions of other young men on his account?” Most certainly, if she loves enough to promise to marry him. A Foolish Letter. “A. R." writes: “I had @ quarrel with my fiancee and wrote her a very angry letter, Now 1 am sorry, but I not seem to make her believe that I did not mean all the unkind things I sald’ What shall I do? You must trust to time to second your apologies. But don't write any more things which you'll want to take back lat bim “iH. LL." writer I have known @ girl for about two years, and at times she seems to think a lot of me, Then again she will act Indifferent. Have you any explanation of this conduct?* She probably doesn't know her own mind, and ts trying to discover tt, He Can't Find a Princess-Bride. though he has begun his thir tleth year and ts the handsom: of the German Emperor's six stalwart sons, he is still a bache nd can't find a royal princess to w vis hand and heart, Irincess Thyra of Denmark p™ poor Prince Adalvert, For, al- waa the first to the mitten’ to the sailor prince, Next he pronosed to Princess Patricia, daughter of Canada’s Gevernor-Genera!, and she refused. Princess Sophia Charlotte of Olden durg “turned v Adaibert Wilhelm fitel-Mriedrich, the second Tue Gran Duchess Olga of Itussia, Hrinvess ef Roumania, the reigning Deemess of Luxemburg and « veral others sre alleged to have Joined in the boycott of Adalbert's matrimonial am- ditions, Then he asked his papa he might wed a lovely girl he had met mo the tennis court, and who had fa: vored him with many smiles, but the stern parent said nay, Prince Adalbert, who atands third in age among the Kaiser's sons, wae born July 14, 184, and has risen to be a captain-commander in the navy, being only the one of the Hohengollern NAW. HE Wout? ) BITE Him with AH-H CHUH- CHUH Crutt CHuH-CHuH! loose, I guess we better get a man for |*I« pt the acquatic branch of All the other sons of tho | War Lord are soldiers, except Dr. Aug- ust Wilhelm, who has chosen @ clyil career, muck to Bip father's disgust we Be we His TEETH! SS Then and Now 3 “The Evening World Vaily Magazine, ‘““S’Matter, Pop?’’ Soe “ P < ¥8 —. CHUH-CHUH CHuw Cnun cee - ishing Co. (The New York Dressing tor the Dance Oonreeth ne how Wan, eresine Wont. Copyright, 1911, by Doubleday, Page Os, (Continued.) a) AIT here for me," sald 1, rising; “I must speak to that man, Had you no anewer for him? Because you are a fool must you & mouse under his foot? Could die Uke you utter ope equeak in your ewD dete “You are drunk,” heartlessly. “No one addressed “The destroyer of your kind,” I, “stood above you just now anu marked you for his victim, You are not blind or deaf.” “1 recognize no such person,” raid Kerner, “1 e n no one but you at this table. Sit down, Hereafter you shall have no mvre evinthe “eye if ‘if you “Wait here, aid I, furiow don't care for your own life I will ave it for you” 1 hurried out and overtook the man in gray half-way n the block, He looked as 1 had # him in my fancy ‘a thousand times—truculent, gray and awful. He walked with the white oak nd but for the street-sprinkler would have been flying under I caught him by the sleeve and steered him to a dark angle of & Duilding 1 knew he was a myth, and I did not want @ cop to see me con- versing with vacancy, for 1 might land in Bellevue minus my liver matchbox and diamond ring, “Jesse Holmes,” sald J, facing him with apparent bravery, "I know yov. T have heard of you all my life, know now what @ scourge you have been to your country. Instead of Kill. ing fools you bave ben murderlny the youth and nius th are neces- sary to maki people 1 great. You area fool yourself, Holmes; you began killing off the brightest and best of your countrymen three genera tions ago, when the old and obselete standards of woolety and honor and orthodoxy were narrow and bigoted. You proved that when you pus your The Fool Killer murderous mark upon my friend Kerner cae wisest obap I ever knew in my ." The Fool-Killer looked at me grimly and closely. “Tou'v queer jag,” said he, curt- ously. “Oh, yes; I see who you are Bow, You were sitting with him et the table. Well, if I'm not mistexen £ beard you call Bim a fool, too.” “2 did.” eaid L “I delight in doing ao, It is from envy. By all the Standards that you know he is th why you want to kill him," “Would you mind telliug me who or what you think I am?" asked the eM man. I laughed bolsterously and then stopped suddenly, for I reme: od that {t would not do to be seen so hilarious in the company of nothing tory of a Southern Bogy and a New York Cafe but @ brick wall, “You are Jesse Holmes, the Fool- I nad, avlemnly, “and you are to kill my friend Kerner. 1 o rang you up, but if you do kill him I'll see that you get Pinched for it That is," I added, de- apairingly, “If I can get @ cup to see you, They havea poor eye for mortals, and I think it would take the whole force to round up @ myth murderer.” “Well,” sald the Fool-Killer, briskly, You had better go p it off, Guod night” At this 1 was moved by # sudden fear for Kerner to a aofter and more plead- ing mood. I leaned against the sray man’s aleeve and besought him: “Good Mr, Fool-Killer, please don't Kil Mttle Kerner, Why can't you go back South and kill Congressmen and clay-eaters and let ux alone? Why don't you go up on Fifth evenue and There Is Just O HERE ti | never conquered, never can con- quir. Centuries ago every other | beast became the slave of mun or elae | ed far from human habitation, (ne | and one only refused to fice or to eub- | mi | The horse, the dog, the cow, :he steep, the the pig—all came into camp | thousands of years ago, Thuy have ever since worked for man or fed him, or both. They have been his unquestionad and unquestioning slaves, The elephant, too, has become @ servant as bave uther jungle lords. ‘The lion, the tiger, the wolf, the bear, and such other savage beasts as ha’ not ylelded service to man have sunk away In terror from the path of clviliza- | end are killed on sight. But one single animal claima man's protection, shares his food and hearth, | wanders at will and unmolested through Man Has Never Conquered. ne Animal Think it over. The cat will not work. -It will not guard your home. Its fleah and fur acve no use. Its one useful act tm the catching of mice and rate, And these Jt slays and eats because it wants to; not to help out its owner, For ex- ample, it does not bring ite captured prey to ts owner to eat, Nor will it hunt rodents unless it happens to feel Uke doing so, The cat won't work, It won't even learn tricks unless it happens to want to. into learning any trick It doesn’t want to learn, ‘That '@ wh: there are almost no trick cate In animal shows and why the few that are there du such very simple tricks, A dog can be tortured into do- Ing tricks, A cat can't, When some animals & © man's slaves and others fled from him, the cat did neither, It simply took the fave human haunts; and does absolutely no work In returi obeys no orcers, and does not even serve as foud or clothing } exchange. This only exception to @ world of ser-jon you. Beal @ cat and it will attack | vante and of scared enemies Is the do- mestic cat. ors and advantages man had to offer; and refused to do one lick of work In Beat @ dog and he will fawn you and then desert you. You can't con- Quer the cat, You can't make it work, oo rVW¥xw«x\—"——— a uj? OHo“—“—avasS ag, “Fhe Cave Girl,” by Bagar Bice Apes,” will begin serial publication in the Apes.” It deals with the advent Glorious wild girl ‘TES CAVE GIRL. “The Cave Girl" ie even more unusual and more exciting than “Tarsan of island peopled by ape-men and savege beasts and of bis mecting with © Burroughs, author of “Tarzan of the ‘Fhe Evening World Monday, Sept. 22 ures of am American castawey oO 68 Friday. SEAL ETN ANNE OTST: gn ie y The ire Publi ee BS SH, aay \ And no one can punish or torture tt} Septemb 3 By Eleanor Schorer WHat woud He T3ITe THE MAN WITH HIS TEETH FOR. 7 Bea IN 1HE UM. ™, You Did NOT GET UNCLE SI! ——— DAN KEILLY The Greatest Gunner 'T SEEMS ONE OVER, WORLD Senior Gunpointer of Turret No. 4 on Battleship A Now in Port, Holds Best Record With Twelve- inch Gun Ever Made. 6s a \ (a ‘round the Hora,” as they say in the Brooklyn Neve Yard, lieg the ouperdread- mought Arkansas. A toaung steel mil @f steel, ailed with the sound of clang: img anvil, rust ehipping cold-chisels and the siap-siap of paint brushes, one ie very conscious as soon as be is aboard her that everybody in the anip 1 goutely self-consvious about No, ¢ Angram, the two guns of that turret, served by eighiy-fvo mon, made er: ord for straight shooting which sur- passes any kuown \o have been made With iJ-inch guns on any Aghting ship in the world, in fifty-seven seconds three ahote ea Bred from those two guns and each and every abot hit o target being towed at @ rate of fve miles ap hour, five miles from the ship. The target would have made @ mere patch om the side of the enemy's Battie eb) ‘The six gun-pointers and trainere—D. J. Reilly, Le L Bbbitt, Bmil Pautet, W. H. Andress, J. F. Hackett aad J. P. Harmy—bold a continuous watch on the ter deck around their turret. Four By O. Henry i VOCSIVIVVSSCOOCOY [ ill m!""' nalres that keep thet- ney Jecked up and won't let young fools marry because one of ‘em lives on the wrong atri i Je wi door" “Do you know this girl that your friend has made himself @ fool about?’ asked the Fool-Killer, “I heve the honor,” said 1, “and that's why I called Kerner a fool, He he han wilted so He isn « fe @ fool becau long before marrying her. fool becuuse he hae been w the hopes of @ome absurd two-million-dellar-foei parent or something of the sort.” “Maybe,” aaid the Yuol-Killer, “may. be I—I might have look ferently. Would you mini to the restaurant and brii friend Ke tho une, ‘He can't aee you. Jeaser’ He dica't re talking to him at the table, You are @ Actitious character. you know." “Maybe he can this time Wil yee } 60 fetch him? 1 van right" gatd I, “but I've a sum that you're not atrictly sober. You seem to be wavering and sing your outlines. Don't vanish be \fore I get back." 1 went back to Kerner and ai “There's « man with an homicidal manta waiting to see you outside, I belleve he wants to murder fi Come along. You won't see him, » ty res nothing to be frightened about Kerner looked anxtoun, "Why," aald he “Thad no dew om absinthe stick te with you, I led him to Jesse Holmen. “Rudolph,” sald the Fool-Killer, ‘11 | sive In. Bring her up to the house Give ould do that Wurgvurser You'd bett: Tl walk home | me your hand, boy." jood for you, 44d," sala Kerner, making hands with the old man. “You'll never regret it after you know her" “So, did you sce him when he was talking to you at the table?” I asked ner, | hadn't spoken to eaah yea id Kerner, “It's all I walked away. “Where are you goingy’ called Kerner. “Lam golng to look for Jessa Ifo! LT answered with dignity and reser To-morrow —“The Clarion Cait.” Tale of @ New York Thie/-Taker and @ Thief That Wouldn't Be of them had @ day of as soon as the ship arrived Wednesday, and tw had twenty-four hours ashore y: Lieut, Ingra:. will get all of the extra time and privileges he can for them long time to come, in addition to ed by the regulations. nty-five of them what ey called “a blowout” on the trip home, with extras of the best that the galley could give But thoy are not « talky lot, these men who #o remarkably proved thelr right to be behin the guns They are rather given to standing uneaally in @ group, huddled together as though for) Protection frum the good-natured glib And Interruptions of other n the erew who crowd around them ever a stranger approaches, Dan Reilly is the fran to whom Inter- viewors are referred by the oMfver of the deck who cajl for the pointers of No. 4 turret. Rellly ts slender, long-Jawed, freckled, an boy. His hair is red; is he conatantly rubs his chin as though feeling for a atubble which Is not there. “Pent your whiskers, Dan," shouted a voice out of the distance when The Evening World photographer ap- proached; “here comes & man Ww take your picture.” ‘There was a glint In Rellly'a eye which did not promixe well for the one who biatted out in the presence of strangers references to personal pecul- ame out in the clone non shipboard more certainly else, Tho rest of his nd nim and he did the associat than anywhe conrades got be tale ng. “How 40 we do it? he asked. “Team- | work; that's all. The Lieutenant vack of ua, the xix of us at the two guns and seventy-five more all the way down to the magazine, sending Us ammunition If tho Lieutenant did not have us trained to work together and to do everything ‘oat so, why, the elghty-one of us in the turret crew wouldn't be any good. If any one of the atx of us lost his nerve or got Over-anzious oF Gidn't beep one eye out ell the ¢ime to meet every other m allp oF rush,aR the good work of the Lieutenant and of the seventy-tive men below would go for nothing. Aud if the seventy-ive down below turned clumsy or stupid there would be uo such gooring ot the target. “Then there is the practice, Bverz ume we oUt to sea, overboard goes © targes sad @ launch to tow it, and we busy, Not with these guns,” ead j@ nodded carelessly up at the pair of Sime tudes above his head, “but with ene-poundera clamped in those tubee up there on top of the gun near the turret. Shouting those does not cost se mush ‘And is jus 92 good practice in pointing and training as though we were using service charges. We % shoot these guns more than two or three times o year, “But just keep it in your head that {t'o teamwork that does the good aboot ing. That right, Pautet?’ “You vetl” sald the farthy Bmil Pautet. “Just teamwork,” aad the other two nodded. But, as Reilly was called away, one and them another sidled up to add: “Do you know you've Been talking to the best gunner im the werd? That's him. That same red- headed feller you was talking te don't say he ts the best on this shi best in the world We and he proved tt Thursday—and he ean prove it again.” Now, when a turret ts in action this te what happens: There are two pointers, for each gun and foot and bis hands on a wheel whieh tes or lowers the muzsie far out over the ede Back of him sits aa- other pointer with a telephone receiver connected with the roost up at the top outside, From ‘@ he learns how far away the enemy’s vessel or the tar- wot tm Then he sete the sights to carry the sholl over the Jong parabola through the alr the exact distance. The trainer site betwen the guns ta the middle of the turret and works the wheel which ewings the turret right or Jett, Back of him ts another trainer, and with a telescope clamped over his head, he handles levers which eet the turret with regard to the speed of the target, of the Arkansas and ¢he velocity of the wind, The trainer works his wheel, which swings the turret until his sights show that ho has them on a line with the target. ‘Then the pointer elevates or jlowers the muszle until he finds the target in the middie of it, He sets down his foot hard on @ pedal and the kreat masw of steel goes shrieking te {ts mar’ It ia the quickness with which his ey@ catches the critical mo- t and his foot acts on the lever: precision and nerve which make such | gunners as Dan Reilly and his brethres. —— Old-Time Football. (EN the twelfth century London en. i Joyed football, MiteStenhen, clerk to |* Thomas a Becket, tells how, after the youtha of the olty woule is thomsel to foutball ‘These sports Were fastidious ta thelr way, |The scholars of each school had @ batt Peculiar to themselves, ax bad Indeed most of the particular trades. The fath> ers of the players, too, were “as youth ag Fi the young ut natural heat soeuing to bo revived « known | body weor |two men wore kiiled by Ould Gunter. | Gunter's sennes and ye Gregortes fall tox jmetlier by ye yeare at football Ould \Gunter drew his dagger and broke boothe their heades and crt j within @ fortnight afte i LARGE BY COMPARISON, “T have nothing to wear.” "You have pleuty to wear,” dedared her husband, "Just compare yeur wardrobe with that of a gin in @cemie epera.—Courtes Journal chet