The evening world. Newspaper, September 17, 1913, Page 16

actxe ren reammey 7 ‘* Row. New York RALPH PULATZER, President 63 Park Row, Entered at the Post-Office at New York ns Secon4-Class Matter. PROFESS: THE AATORITY @ebscription Rates to The Kvening e The Evening World Daily Magazine, Wednesday, September 17, 1915 q Pramanes Dusty Havent Sunday by the Praar Puvilaning Company, Hoa 68 to | 4a Parl i | soa PULAHAN Tomercat, ba how, || PAceoROmG Te Sone ee For England and the Continem en@ OF WOHEN WERE BEARDED All Countries in the International WHE EARLY DAYS ne lons ¥ tal Unton, ar | ( N ales Menthe tantisrescsersereas EWS (TEM ) VORP cccvcessersnerene & MONth ne sees esses en ee VOLUME 54. + NO. 19,020 WHAT EVERY WOMAN KNOWS. When st comes to courting a girl, They're ae like ae @ row of pines For the stately judge end Tommy Pudge } Make love like a pair of twine! : a Copyright, 1918, by Tho Pram Pubitshing Oo, (The Rew Tort Breaing Wea. | “INDIVIDUAL FUSION.” ITH somewhat cryptic utterance the trio composed of Fire a W D J Schiff and H Clews fare — en uintetescm Bids tie HAT ts romance? Dear, dear! bring me the dictionary of obsolete | terms, Clarice! forth to fuse for themselves. Having failed in a desperate effort to induce Mr. McAneny to help out their design of injecting @ third candidate into the campaign, they gave it up and resolved the The kind of “mental-companion” most men seem te prefer fs the sory’ | - Gaynor Fusion and Nominating Committee into its constituent ele- of girl who fancies that “Roget's Thesaurus” {9 @ prehistoric animal, an@ i ments. But, said Commissioner Johnson, “All of us are now left free that @ dictionary is merely something to stand on in order to reach the | to make our individual fusion, and few of us will have any trouble in Coon ¢ Selophone, ) making it.” i Was this meant to make anybody shudder? Honest followers of the late Mayor are proving by a wholesale movement to the eupport of Mr. Mitchel that the only kind of fusion they know is the fusion “that has a fighting chance to beat Charles F. Murphy and his cen- Gidate. | Is that the Johnsonian notion of fusion or will the members of this trio spring some new dodge of “individual fusion” that will administer a fresh tweak to that torn and tortured term? 2 Canada may stand for the “sudden removal” of a dangerous No man seems to be constituted strong enow concentrated affection for more than a few weeks at # time. A modern girl's mental picture of her “!deal man” may be rather vague but almost any milifonaire in a motorcar looks exactly like it. When @ woman fs fickle she is false; when a man fs fickle he is per feetly natural. A feeling of sickness comes o'er one that !s almost akin to pain whea one reads all these articles on “low to hold a husband's love,” The kind of love that has to be “held” isn’t worth holding. bg murderer, but law in the United States can’t abide anything 1s ever completely happy unless he fs just a little bit In loves | + s unless somebody is just a little bit in love with her. ‘ CANDID VIEWS OF THE ARMY. OUCH | Love 1s the appendijcitis of the soul, OAFERS” was not the word which Congressman Sherwood, WIFEY DEAR | of Ohio, used to describe the atanding army. “Idlers” Your BEARD and “parasites on the body politic” waa all he called them. Anybody can see the difference. Just the same, the Congressman favors chopping $75,000,000 off the army appropriations and giving it in the form of salaries “to the men and women who are producers IS SCRATCHING Is Your Name Hugh Williams? Then You'll Never Die at Sea @ MONG many English seafaring] But the superstition that se Hugh and who do the work of the Government.” A aan Sheoped Site we wae ot Alar Reaet nearia Big iceny Meanwhile Secretary of War Garrison, returning from an inspec- | Hugh Williams will ere al at sea—a/@ pleasure boat of the Thames collided . * . * ‘ i with * tion tour in the West, announces that he finds the army “in what WHO HAG \pareaete keeaye a ie Naeare bac al pass as Pebive , #3 babel hi = may candidly be regarded as a first-class condition,” and that he OPENED A Th a y corded in the logs of those who go down) board, moat of them children, and all was “everywhere pleased with the bearing of officers and men and WITH MY RAZOR eee Henge most remarkable In- Settles Save EN EE ae the spirit shown by them.” “The army was never in a more thorough . Y f stance of this immunity of the Hugh ee similar case was that of the = + . + » Williamses from death at sea occurred Menal, a ferrybost which plied acreas | tate of readiness for action than it is now.’ And the Secretary rec- in 1889, when @ coal barge was caught|the Stratts ef Dover. In 17% this raft ommends a three-year enlistment term that will enable young men AW in @ storm in the North Bea and went Ce caught in a ioe and went down, © ‘i down. xty persone were drowned and enlg ho intend to settle down in a civil career to get at least a few years FEATHER Ly g ‘There were nine men on board, and all| one was saved, an elf gentionas named of military training that will add to the reserve m itary etrength of DUSTER Y were lost except two, who wore uncle| Hugh Williams, the nation. iS! and nephew and each of whom was| A similar instance te recerded a¢ am ; . named Hugh Williams. For years after-| even earlier date. In 194 @ veasel | : < is a mistake to condemn the army wholesale because of certain ward the relatives of the fortuni wrecked on the Iste of Man with ‘loner ‘ { tiful exbibitior i held a yearly reunion te celeb pers Doard. One was i pi ie ns of incompetence on the part of so-called army | of deliverance from what had| Will! Who can paclinipress) me l experts at manoeuvres and elsewhere. Nobody has forgotten how the emed certain death. cases are apparently authentic. t i Connecticut manoeuvres of the militia a year ago last month went to Bones ol ry pieces under the direction of regular army sharps. Scanty mule The Day's Good Stories transport, overloaded wagons and bad planning deprived men and Strictly Business, bar eid ial horses of proper food, while the army officers camped with comfort ALICE tad acompaniet he wfe ot 8) winter ah hd tne Be ov ens" tappaars and even luxury. In spite of all hardehips, however, the “ | exrursion to the resins of bargaiae cod = " 3 5 great bod fn the tuilding, with ite many —S—— of the militia worked hard ard well "1}SMILING AT MISFORTUNE. }|} CONQUESTS OF CONSTANCE. § | loss svms mites, coy Both Lost. . :, SS -- ter ball, 3 BYFVoL! iw erg Big eguen py! a army. Anybody looking for Do You Take Your Troubles Seriously? By Alma Woodward. . Ped lead or] avenged J rage yperbincebetba ls. No tew oe oe 5 most numerons specimens among the ee Sai Ur Gad passages met, ohd thea, teed and aug, 00 Get such @ black ere?" rank and file. The incompetents and the paranites flourish amid gold By Sophie Trene Loeb. THE DEAD BEAT. | eee se conrnen te ee tre wen echeo gaye pal Ince and bureaucracy. Any overhauling of the army and ite hills ae ORG | stn tim tone of annua Ilgnation, ee Phytol aur ought to begin with the top layers. Coprrignt, by The Pree Os, (The New York Evening World). Capysighs, 1918, by The Prem Pubi@ing Co. (The New York Evening World). Jost my wife!” . Smell Bop—'"Teacher, tem: ee cL oes 667 AUGH at mont. The ittle child who falls and 10! ¢ ¢eeaHBY'RE puttin’ ine new stunt but when we go. alone at @ table Back came the rtp; with emai fore | ween = mene mare Qbout to set up a painful cry will look I ‘wpetal tol’ me th’ whole thing, ‘cause he oot Tamara ie. u up at » ft . hy ner i . A Massachusetts man wants to declare war on merchants who eald Dr. W. Mee ithe Rell weet Feldlacigie- Patty SAO er shone Mune sane Shop Talk, / advertise on country billboards because, he says, the latter drive Dougai! et Oxford, | loud lament turns into e laugh. Tt scema he never pougnt nothin’ | Classifying Sensation. TOUNG oman wus soked by 0 tiene away the motorists w' > come to see the beautiful scenery. Surely a pefore the stern,| Why? Because his vii dark-haired sawea:| nape wae tiv sock supporters | A. % seed coloied min was passing « fh store A to the tkablenews of a young ebep who foe better plan would be to walt until all the motorists are driven awa serious- mi changed. He has made Off dames for maids} voce in a while oF " eee of a Shere Hime had been paying devoted atten. i ys tate * G@ressin’ ‘em al! 9 | chained tm the doorway as em advertige- | ton to her, then take down the boards and give the beautiful scenery @ real scientists ase misfortune, children at best, hss) eoap. An’ yet h mnt, replied 1.9 fate one carcteasty, “Wit chance. pied in Rirming-/ 8nd 1 we but in gray—even euede| jang and wus th He had never ren a turtle before and be! to fellow, but he tallm shop tos meh a Cae . ham, Engiand,| Change our sorrowful viewpoint at least erdaghery, He said thin 10 | prodded the sirunge creature, Suddenly he popped| ‘‘Flew’s that?’ was th nest q: ae ” “Laughter is @|!nto & amiling one, even THAT VERY an’ little 1ae@e!him eo easy it wus @ slame to think | pis finger into his moth with @ bowl of pate, | thought he wane etrest car conductor,” BLAME THE TELEPHONE beneficent provi- | EFFORT may be rewarded in getting a fandkerchieta. fer!some people even had to use Dait. He | After te finger bad stopied Decding be gazed | “'So be Wy,” returmed thy ther, “and hate gate . sion wheredy ea |"ew Iight on how to meet it. At all aprons, An’ they've! sald all he had to do wus walk up to &) ruefuly, thes eyed the turtle aporehensvely, | | tantly saying “Blt up closer’ "Providence Jou mass of minor events, most people look at troubles ned a trainin’ | Dereon an’ ask ‘em for somethin’, an’ | | “Whate the matter, Rastus?"* aoked the fled nal, suffering, which! through @ microscope. Some of us oom- oe x nd | before he had a “hance to ask @ time they wus urgin’ their family allvor moral influence, according to a North Carolina judge, because 4 otherwise [Plain ef trouble as if it were @ step- . “boys and girls say things to each other over the Shoes that | “e?ress humanity, Turned into a |ehild. and yet nurse 4 carefully as our th’ Dasement {e,on him an’ pleadin’ tearfully with him . timula: li-being,” he| very own, learn ‘em how t/t, take it, ‘cause they knew their dear they would not say if they had to speak face to face.” Also, declares Suan. Premeeuns) Re There are two kinds of trouble—the epeak Engtish with| mother would ‘a’ wished it so! r king you have and the kind hi " broken| any, him work It ale ; T further urges you haven't. |— t, Although ‘An', by golly! I seen him the judge, the telephone tempts people to order things they don’t | ,2°'*. er | tually dleplay |There are but few of the first sort, but See weterted, anything broken | right Srey eise Wle. xy Ane need from the shops and ¢0 increases their bills and leads to ex- of the second there is no end, For enough goes! Well, wee! to hear eome| tied just float up to a table where they travag p wise old man them Swedes tryin’ to be Parlay i8| wus tryin’ to consume th’ vintage of ravagance. thie tendency would alleviate exaggera-|! have had mai nie Pet eee ahaa Lave contain an’ entire year, an’ he@ Maybe, But ly the same token mustn’t we condemn the tele-|tion of trials and affilotions, if not even rr _hanpenes. The funny wae aay side nee pales ‘ae $f to call th’ wat graph, the trolley, the automobile and a thousand and one older| ‘tally remove them. fs Sronhie, He snee Share 29) Be i 4 @o when they run up against REAL skin’ good care that th’ w things that although made to do good can readily be pressed into the Ren ant Stig Sei bask Py than it inte the poets) forslans arnatie teat uve about thelr sea se Hilchen ay th inp = in service of sin? Have we elaborated and complicated life only to Gera erat: svar the SNRVSTABUS SH so-called troubles |Datlona ly ievenue, tinetured with en inet that ne S| 7 Uae washatie materiale find ourselves too cowardly to face the consequences? Man makes but|body anything but wrinkles and sray © & manifestation that| © New Sark an! cured by sri ae 73 tie hel €or Wrenn Ue , ; vse wash a sorry figure when he begins to malign his best inventions in order | {tif and bent shoulders and @ little /nature wante you to get busy and do * | : and , eee ee Bak he 5 tea, linen and gin ; “amen comer’ by themselves. something. ‘The energy you WASTE on fer th’ school—doublin’ in Fe ieee be wes 6 tank, THEN at fe te turn them into excuses for the natural cussedness that is in him. achool fer ‘em in Tincraintn is as low as turkey trotting on the ecale of ' t OL long Waisted A or Balkan ef. feote are smart thts autumn and thie Pretty frock can he adapted both to school and to afternoon oora. sions. Wise m la~ am harming mad; 1 ! we ; p thio le in laughter fe an UNFAILING mag-| Worry over troubles drains the vitality |!t were! th’ evenin' people ‘4 fall all . ay. For a m —+——_—______ at Tt always draws. It is the ONB|and makes you less ft for the fray. It| “But th’ aire they give thet satel pers Thee te take bi f drver chara more human element that we are born with, | multiplies the drug stores and enables | It'll be all right as long ae ev: in er] £ m their care. Why, he even lve Sept. 17, 1862—The Battle of Antietam. though many of ea try to emother tt and | the patent medicine folk to live en Fifth | !#caim an’ peaceful, But jus’ walt u one. - partments with @ guy — : _ put tones of sorrow in Its place, The avenue, fa hatr-pullin’ maten takes place because in boone Soul sages tdently atudind the| Trouble, the tempest in the teapot, |one uv ‘em cope aiter 5 Seat imoniien noted ecientiat had evidently ati \,,tro. ne ° eapet, Pn Oy, Ore et a sear the an’ wun lonesome an’ go humi ator ft -——- ~ =e==== |may have clear,| way th’ ‘Leventh avenue, patole sete fhe gazabo even tipped th’ AN * And if mirth will do it, on with the| mixed up with th’ Limerick linge! a Hits From Sharp Wits. . Letters From the People . 4 “well, yuh know, when I seen people laugh. French'll be eo broken then that it'll be i hee See te ef to amithereens, an’ that's the ewampin’ him ® | hink that even A woman worries more about her when us poor dubs down here is|got mighty peevish to ¢! The Train Problems. Orne tele roee 6-6 milen per minute, the| complexion than déaal gheut haw Inia’ to be able to give ‘em th’ ha-ha—|with my sparklin’ personality nobody fo the Editor of The Krening World: a an per minute. ri 3 ‘néed me nothin’ niftier 'n a pair of plaid ore 7 \ x x Prospective harp crown, chic Pas frum th’ Fourt' |never he: ‘very pret co Te Probate of TD) axyt ge : . I eae uy shoelaces er a punched transfer. tv effect can ce ob Parun's : ® Ward.” Tach Represent the longer train by A and] | Solving: x1 '4 or 144 minutes will Wh uu have eocasion te ‘ ton, Cen-|An’ the grudge wur grewin', when alt; tained by ustne the “other by Deine sh samiman taah ai before the train in the Foar cane comanees that the other mien pedis aot Sony Sapenttion @ evdden day when we a | Blue serge with pon) elapee After the traine meet until they are Ankwavts Sunk Probably scared as badly as you are |Came, saw and conquer'd. Next, great] “Aw, well, it gives mea pain in th wala tr A oll Maedied ed bepoud o Seoton waite coer wea: Otto's reign them roughnecks polish up| could even greft | atratgat 220 To the FAitor of The F i neck to ee rary A goes 60 miles per hour, or ==° yards! “In anawer to 'Nat™ In The Fvening | Meh Waste toe much good enersy|mnrough vain ambition made thy|thetr lugs! Gee, when most uv ‘om’@|had never seen bis sicht before, #0 he | skirt te platted one rer second, World Sept. 12, What te that which | '® kins fools of themselves Heaven a hell; be more et home tendin' the furnace peau. Delt, end “ ; r Yatbi . y ; 9 te e dott ts ad. B goce 30 miles per hour, or = yards bel Poi d paver * Wat ae ba 1 man Goem't avauire window Ant Wek oof Walbling warring rang on Men ore FN aes Eee _ Rien te pall af per second au Fen aaan eam would call 1t “Nothing,” after marriage there is no hope for) o» Unity and Peace. Nor could'st re |1I knew @ #ink like that Ceres wae in Ge tanner in my. 60t and this mae Pay xg © Gmenee e " : strain + ' original an’ Iastin’ deadbeat, 8»/0 Teerens otee v AXEL BILLMAN. eee th’ orig! hands. My card. ' Y lady on my hands. xx 44 « distance train 13 will travel after | To the Paitor of The Evening Worl win or lose in the poker game?—Au- Ser ot seption: ped Wy Mteten' uv th’ maneger'a introducea| morrow bank timer ATTY Wide a yaa. oe LS atgtie ia sabre CS ae ee een meaTenied. Im! the.) SHAse SIH, adele ial nih Poe as we wun frottin. at a| "Well, I wus prepared to see him Fag iho va ] A rains meet, until they are] “abies Contest you are having at Lg ® . ” oF os * feverish lookin’ roll le for the trime r her, they will, together have y . . yell joint down in th’ Forties one! ghove a yellow an’ fever ming hag Yaids (ube sum of their| Present: I have @ baby girl ning! Some of this season's plays now shows) 0. geoathe the mmord, uptitt the| rp {nto his handa, instead uv which there Pattern Ne, 9011 tong. tn) months old and would Like to know how|!n# In New York couldn't he worse) S’)) et 12 @ dloomin' crack across his bore gut, see, for sila ax22? y sxif fe the sum of the dis-|*¢ compares with some of the prize|!f the suthors hag Sramatises a allt t not batten on thine own wed tweed shoulders an’ fer a moe from 8 to 14 years tancca'trains A'and.B travel as ts also 770| Winner® If you will kindiy publish the | *KIFt and ® dlaphancus gown—Boston Yoo, wine anit infriendly little ae. pardeituersiore 6x70 + xia @ 710 welght, Ge. of the winners in your par | TTaneriP: = ||, ers draught, which mi‘ce|ogram embroidered on time, in most uv which th’ tweed wup Call at THE RVENING WORLD MAY MANTON FASHION : wee na 3 J per I would appreciate it very much, Wop—Mid you tell Gop that I was can watief: th’ evenin’ he wuz th’ ‘tre uv lots uv in’ the street cleaner at his job. BUREAU, Donald Buliding, 16 Weet Thirty-second etree: (oppo- Golving: x= 1% or 195; seconds will A.W. T. | 9 honetiead? But ever whets the thiret, Choose thou! crowds, all buyin’ but 2 at wus my deadbeat's Waterloe, te Gimbel Bros.), corner Sizth avenue and Thirty-second etr elapse after the (tains meet until they are ight and pictures of babies in| yiop—Well, no, I did not go as far|’ the food noticed he never bou ve. An’ yet(an’ yuh cin bet yer sweet life I didn't New York, or sent by mail on raceipt of ten cents tn coin e1 ‘of each oth Babies’ Contest are ap-|as that. 1 merely insinuated that your|Of peaceful plenty, prosperous increase; | every one kep’ pressin’ it on him like It; walt to ask him if he could swim! 1 ‘stamps for each pattern ordered. wiution of the second problem is| pearing daily. The prise winners will | og froutis was rapidly encroaching on|*Who by the s¥ord lives by the aword | wun reduced to a nickel @ bottle, Atjjus' beat it on my little buckskin an’ IMPORTANT—Write your address plainty an@ always epedty bag ‘the number of minutes that wil ¢ DUbIished in ten duye or there | your medulle oblongata.—Chicayo shall die.” firat I thought maybe he wus some ushed a nickel uv my honest earnin’s tise wanted, Adé two cents fer letter postage if in a hurry, : Ioteoe seas eis we eroute, on OE x ea ../wilarbert Baxter 12 Londen Mveryman, mech-e-musk travellia' ‘a magnete’ | for sartare’ he