The evening world. Newspaper, September 15, 1913, Page 14

The Evening World Daily Magazine, Monday, September 15, 1913 Cre See* atorlo. The Day of Rest 34 xsths, 24 By Maurice Ketten OS TARE | Gettebes Dally exces su o SLEEP AS LONG AS ‘You LIKE, JOHN. Nogooy wilt. DISTURB You Ve oer S| HAVE The ROOM ON a 4 OP OF YOURS MIDNIGHT ot. VOLUME MAN will look anywhere on earth but {n the mirror for the reasom why a girl has refused him. | | | (The New York Evening World), | } | The modern girl's “ideal man” ts one who ts genius enough to make @ ite of money and fool enough to throw it awey on her. fess noises of the city transportation ‘ines Carelessns | : condition of equipment and trackage has Seen a pr cause of Pig scncevlngy Wer Senie ws MINE? thw Hay Uline’ 4 UEIED TH IRREI much needless noise. There can be no denial that in same case jin tears because her “lovey-dovey” goes down to breakfast four minuted such conditions have been greatly inimical to the health of the pe sons who have suffered from this cause We are not engaging in any spasmodic action. We tatend fo fellow this problem aati we obtain permanent results. Thus spoke W. B. Willoox when he was Chairmsn of the Publie Gervico Commission five years ago. ‘Where are tho “permanent results!” | Never have cars on the railway lines of this city been more) fawafferably, needlessly noisy than they are to-day. Trolley care jar, and bang over ill-kept crossings and switches. Loose brakes make a} deafening clatter that in many cases could be remedied with the turn, of 0 wrench. Worst of all, on surface, subway and clevated lines throughout | the city faulty brakes and unoiled curves and switches are responsible fer ear-splitting, metallic grindings and ecreechings that incessantly taw the nerves like jagged knives. | Never have New Yorkers had to suffer more intolerable nerve- ;racking noise from the city railway lines. Yet Chairman McCall of} the Public Service Commission has never been moved to make even & “spasmodic effort” to stop it. Bas the so-called Public Service Commission quit bothering abont eo public? j ahead of her, and the first time a bridegroom {s consumed with wrath bee | cause his “petsy-wetsy” wants to stay in bed and let bim eat his breakfast all-aloney. A perfect set of teeth has been the means whereby many a women acquired a reputation for the ability to “see a joke.” When a man asks a girl to be bie wife, in these days of hole-pree® socks, bachelor apartments and chorus girl je has a revelation of humam unselfishness that stands as the eighth wonder of the world. What's the use of writing, anyhow? Emerson has sald everything worth saying, Shakespeare has portrayed every human emotion, Marl Twain has satirized everything amusing, Swinburne hae sung in overs and Elinor Glyn and Laura Jean Libbey have done the rest! One of the things that puzzles the averaze man in love fs the problem) of where he will find a place in which to spend his evenings ao pleasantly, after he has married the girl. A girl fe sometimes so dazzled by her engagement ring that, for the Ife of her, she cannot tell how much of her thrill at her flance’s kies t¢ | {nepired by Cupid and how much {s inspired by cuptdity. From the way in which a man insists on keeping his wife is he straight and narrow path, you would fancy that Heaven was a womaa’s club and Hades exclusively a stag affair. Soe The Day’s Good Stories The Lesser Evil. aw GENTLEMAN from the North was enJoring) “Certainly,” eaid the other, pleased op one A fhe excitement of bear bust dows tM | proscect. Misiarippl, The bear was survunded| Saint-Potz thea made the barber o witnew o ime Ket The dogs could upt art | the arureement, end immediately took a towe, the dear out, the planter, who was at the| wiped the tather from hia face and left the eho | head of the buat, called to one of the negrom: | He wore a beard to the end of his daye.—Path | Bem, go tm there and get thet beer out.” — | finder, William Jennings Bryan sees nothing undignified in a Secretary WAITING For ef State of the United States ambling about the country circult as JOHN To WAKE uP an “added attraction” to yodelers and knife-swallowers What antics William Jeinings Bryan might choose to combine with the ‘ office of Present o: the Unied States the nation tanks its stars o Heeees . % need only imagine. Rod ON TPO | HINE N10, PiFFLE NOT EVEN PROMISING. Hs: overhauled the Aldermen, the Citizens’ Union is now tackling the individual records of the Assemblymen from the Greater City in order to determine what their combined pub- ‘The negro hesitated fo. a moment and them pee eee He usefulness adds upto. There are at present twenty-eight Assembly- | plana ine the cane, A fon iments late the Wasting Time. men from the three counties of Kings, Queens and Richmond. The Citizens’ Union reckons the sum total of first-rate legislative output frem the whole twenty-eight amounts to zero. About the best that | the grourd outalde, After the bunt was ret (8 j.pq NRAPTURED, ther gused, band to band, | vialtor sald to the negro: E_ wre the, eatitat scone etrcted tater “Were you not afraid to go inte that thicket thew in the ertting cum. “Twas the lake dis. swith that bear?” triet, and they but thie diye upon thet: i i “Oap'a,” replied the vegro, “It was teat Ge | bonesmocn, ean be said of any one-of them is that, “while serving he supported way: 1 meter bed met Gat bier, but | was pw | “Dearest,” be oid, gaxing ot ber fondly, « thorough-going Direct Primary bill, although in other respects his Cerupdebgy wtrlla lle ferdoe gy ed peasdlmaal Neo Aery Lyeeeiery record was unsatisfactory.” For the rest, each and all either “fol- een ent (rgea ie ; Bot oem long enough 4 lowed the machine,” voted as they were told, introduced bad legisla- Sinem? Just (hint, even if we ore, fortunate, ‘ tion or “showed no promise of ever becoming useful legislators.” es Dee a SE (lat aoe ne ee So far the researches of the Citizens’ Union have dug up mighty a ORE Re RE, eatemey, ee Hittle that we can brag about. Before the job is finished it would be ( onquests of Constance M H t f Wif “iryen, that's @," 0 tou of mien to be interesting to know what particular sort of “promise” each of these y Um Or a e 8 SS OR i tenes eet ere twenty-eight Assemblymen showed before he was elected and to By Alma Woodward 4 New York Bacheior’s “ Quest of the Golcen Giri.’ © webe clemen, “Wen't/cainsh: “wes euaing ta cttonion denies, : oles E ost ts establish exactly what elected him anyway. The Sweet Boy By Victor J. Wilson. | When our forefathers fixed up a plan of representative govern-| + A Woraan Waits. By Cora M. W. Greenleaf. ment that they thought plenty good enough for us to go on with. “c Mean intarceee te tee ee ee Leritee Reales eat, . Cofright, 1918, by Toe Prem Publishing Co, (The New York Evening World), \y OVE nim? of course 1 Jove dim, For me Love's dream wil be ended maybe they didn’t mean that the biggest city in the country should jas’ ume yuh seen me?” th’ carfare to get there—an' could 1 jets 16.—WHICH ENDS MY HUNT. omee qt me pease yaks to tell a have for part of its representation in the State Legislature twenty- kcal ald ad ee halls cee recat ane A aa) 66 rea ieeaee is ve tae) sore | colapias spirit proetrate, palpably be- him eo to his face. beeen ‘an coting of ime eight men hardly one of whom, after fair trial, could be said even to “It anything, 1|llttle millionaires?” pene SYNE: rugated career of a celle fore ‘beri a Tve i as paupes Oak Walt) ite hive & emanate OF “ehow promise of ever becoming a useful legislator.” Sometimes we PLR ER ee ogee ae re 1 advised. a now only explain} worla HF eee sh se aan ‘ituation| Going after the man she loves, tsa't tasecn mons Hpbsrgitdln get a suspicion there’s lots more in that plan than we contrive to get ‘nowing full well! “tt don't soothe me none to thin| the many times that my overworked | Tecame too much for my self control the woman's place. incessant like wind through the out of it. that I wouldn't get | "bout him," she told, fretfully. He wux| heart conceived a wild attachment for +3 comes to be a Joke and 1 determin Men ‘i here agata,| UFSIDS and urging and reatioon | a word of infor-|th' Sweet Boy, an’ he wur too good to| What I each time thought wes the right |‘° make tt @ losing game for them. | And If he forgets to come en aohe that half pute me se chem Sena DO einnemmerinnes ation out of her) live But hi "t croaked yet, at that | girl! by my indomitable belief thet 2 Right Lacy was dining at the there are others as good, you say? 1 with thi en who were now ; ere I want, ab 00; | Love bim? THE TEST. | f Te Te rat cma a Plcnle Well, yuh know | should some day find her. | Constantly shanag tee een | ee pallens penne bile hd Pry e Saeccae: ; | Well, then, emo- | hav'n' a good ti | one has} When the heart loves too easily 894) cause none of them could relinquish] ang my foollsh heart will break in| 2¢ the man she loves eces ast VERY day since the announcement of Mayor Gaynor’s death hus tions ¢on't leave | when th’ ante ai iS specially | not overcarefully it t# well to steel 1] tne hope of winning her. twain when iteces him going away, love, and carelessly rides taught the anti-Tammany movement more of what it needed ae coeeer ine. sood an’ | ayainat temptation, give ite machinery @/ | T formed a little plot which 1 apesd~ 7 IBY: HORSE MY map!" she re-\th' way home, every one's ready te bic, vacation and learn wherein lies the de-/ Sly put into execution. I went into & most to know—whom it can trust and whom it cannot trust. | pined th’ next feller’a head off. if. oe : telephone booth at the hotel, called the With the personal prestige argument for the late Mayor’s can-; “Why? What's happened?” tober enough to have » grouch? Well,| 1 wae satiated with the shallow love peas operator and waked to have Miss 9; i aur ‘ “Thi mornin’ ti boss give "ne two| th’ Sweet Boy he wus like a bunch faire I had dabbled in and for the lest | “ucille V. paged. Gidacy removed, the foolish and precipitate haste of Wall street and| nours off to get A hat I) whipped cream all day—jus' sweet or} nn sted all thoughts| Lucy was promptly located, Allied Real Estate interests to rush into the field with a now third) deen feelin’ like a Bensonhurst Ps yg a aie ieaat ca yaaa Son oat peapeged area reyes alstco H re : goin’ "1 dt ‘aw lid when «very flew da: fter th’ pt * on my wire a stened to candidate who could not by any possibility be elected, instantly re-|one else wus sportin’ velvet or tran-|Callin’ on me. Vell, th’ Beene boran | But uiwersyins Ane, Sisal getter the voice 1 had been nearing ia my make gan ot vealed these self-styled Tammany haters i i Sparent ince. 80 1 nosied ‘round wus that he alw: was the nope: thet dreams for six months. - ters in their true colors as, lene aye had ine, and f intriguere and betravers of the anti-Tammuny cause, ‘The offect has | reizztourth street lookin’ tn ai th | th mrarey ease! Never looked like «| 1nd ™Y long-eeught-for heroine, Of course, at first she thought she} ~ iy e, e effect has) windows for tdeas, with th’ Intention | thunder-cloud or a sour disposi | RAV® was talking some man of her | already been to stiffen tle ranks of the faithful ! kin’ th’ Sixth Avenue down to mere eee Deaceful country pasar The first moment 1 saw her she et quaintance, be when it dawned on her! ; : ._,. | Fourteenth, an’ buyin’ th’ materials to|@ shower tapart from all other women, while | had been summoned dy a) woe babel Wall street masqueraders, the great majority | > ane Hs that's maddenin’, ain't a?! t wascned her my love for her grew) she hung up the receiver and | ane pelo the e! of those who supported Mayor Gaynor supported him wi . 7 tL, wuza't payin’ no attention to|Then th’ last thing wuz that 4 left the booth, | ne coat Iteel? tp purpose of ate Tam To hide eh ed inn with the honest |. “one, not even. when xwoll ‘ookers couldn't ket him to ght with yun. Yun | Teay “watched” her because it was! I followed her and sald, “Now that on very simple lines rating Tammany, To siraight thinking foos of Tammany | couxned e dan’ painful, as they could call him anythin' yer fancy dice| many months before I spoke to her. | | you have spoken to me, Miss V., we | while the no other third candidate can possibly fulfil that purpose, Con-| 1 wus buay tryin’ to ‘he'd jus'| Those so-called friends of mine, Diek are av good as introduced. My name with the edges sistent admirer 4 foll 4 i ae, it wus won’ to make #tand an’ look ath like inside uv| Ww. Billy M. and Hugi ha. @ Ho-+ {68 Wilson, They cannot keep me any | aren walat line irers and followers of Mayor Gaynor must, therefore, turn | $4.79 worth uv trimmin'-an'-hat took 1! him he wu7 awful sorry fer yuh. Uv |nopoly of her acquaintance and refused longer from knowing you, | fr5 in sober seriousness to the one man who now stands for whole-soule Yirot. model, what had jus’ come COUrep. I could never live up to that con-| to intraduce me to her | Lucy did not seem angry, only e:m- unfaltering determination to defeat CI 4 se + Very roUgi CCEA Voyage UN- densed milk uv human kindn | Yeould not introduce myself without! barrassed, and said, "1 must return to f ; " 0) efeat Charles F. Murphy and Charles H five him th’ razoo one day by teilin’| hurting myself in her opinion. mamma and whe oth F. Murphy's candidate. i th’ Idea pretty weil Jetled Blea ehat tie mis & reincarnation uy an! 1 bribed and pleaded ang ieee bot After @ few minutes I entered the! div} F 1 © to the corner an’ walted uncle s bad who © te gett 14 s too much of an olf-|dining room, walked up to their ao. Henceforth undivided support of John Purroy Mitcliel js the one | "ih know what. chop sucy mad, but didn't ha ee ens try my method on 8 girl Uke’ and, -igno the others, addre th tcoat in af ‘ ish to) tt ‘nite broadel, ned infallible test which the anti-Tammany movement 1 apnly to! Sixth avenue Lucile, Pee tuat ees | with "What e picabant surprise are many beanttea Fusionists and followers of the late Mavor al ‘ ih a sudden there wus & x | Since then she has confessed that she'to wc: you thia evening, Mise V. How ve materials shown of the | avor alike. By this test alone oanin’ th! street {do you do?” gan pretenders be put out that honest Vehters mav close un the &. | 1 seen an oid man, | Sore ot | ‘The voys looked dumbfounded, but 2 ay close up the ranks A ' e nade of = im | thought | Mot one vf Lhem dared asé« the question, oF the brovad SS aint taut Mee | L au 8 h so f th e L in k s which was burnt i tn cuntrant with The Senate ber at Albany Is bet tees | m when and where handagy 4 peachment paecedigae Ga that ieee Feet ete Cer HE, Aine |wux Jonn D. rec © that aight it has ¥ Yelour "te “one og < i eding mht will fall differently, Before |him frum th’ newspaver pictures, Lucy has “filled my empty hand qomest mate | all else may it fall fair and full upon the truth, “Yoh gee, th’ ola wuy wuan't @ thing & word," Pane TAnan hes browmhe } and will be ee Te. one love of my life and t | but right in th’ way uv bein’ vivisected lo arity uy vehicles, when it came the description of her 7. ¢ ' me that if faved nin ke ming. Fe over half his fortune to I'd read to ve married in thi z . Le tters fr om th e Pe Oo pl e UV them things lots uv mes. An’ L ree ve learned to disting iS da flirting emotion. a ore. Conkaaien® j With the latter feeling you think you 4 To the Matlien of The beeen Wo nt! ar Anternestation of the | ee) Was Bnaekes damn an" Bart ‘have found your mate, but with the ize rae in ot Me Wer (rotetnt ae arneetation © little bit, an pal.n off th’ Joo, Just former you know you have the one in! wy ) ey WHO DIAC? have a ieg broken enouxh so that be'd “Remember Lot's wife tises in ey Tersey ail the world meant for you, ay +, @ Problem of te dretses. Answer: ‘ean om hecessary it wus to pervide affection must be np Lacerta received To the Kalter of The Ever and this wulstcoat and The others Mire: 00: xecond, &%- To ain a youngtman hot been | for the cofae 48; third, ; fourth, £000. take mistaken in either my sweetheurt or Pattern No. 9008 19 it ir myself. n difference. | What tcher, an say weakly Pattern No 8008--Cutaway Coat, 34 to 42 Bust fer me | ie Why, Leven r how It Mashed | 14 Would Uke to through my mini d k to Ma ih they carried me into th’ seone es $7.50 > 2 Hen It's the rockin. chair 11k drew | — ++ DARROW yp er yuh ned th’ eh THAT'S DIFFERENT THE EV NG WORLD May at chee ton je rich us what I had in my “Bhe 1s very ethereal. wes Hew SuURKAU, Donald Building, 10 Wes: Paints sv bi ® Wine. mud to h time I wu drag puch things as corned bee! te Gimbel Bros.), cor Sth avenue wad Mn w as to Vs Bverig Wore gin Job * bome plate, oy, a haaw har ( Santis York, oF sent vy Mal! on receipt of ten ad 4 " when an automod amid th’ cheers uv th’ multitude, bed mi + ee . ighdieedl | tampe for each pattern ordered, ‘An’ what d'yub think? As soon ae 1 “1 knew a fellow who trained @ hyena to act ae caddie.” curve or tun the corned beef, but I once saw her get’ These IMPORTANT— le te your eddress plainly aid always Srey “ lea the ground. B claims the got him on th cur! e pul that of; val eo or’ w we wise wanted. Add two cents for letter w - B hi hy > Ned th ry “What'd he do that for?" away with twenty-two lettuce sand: | Patteras, posteag ime bung, Kune aid sryupie pnd ouiside wheels Which ie right? d- dy |panbandie steer ‘bout @ ‘Job Waltingg § = “He wanted @ caddie whese laugh had nothing poreenal in It” wieten” \ r) Va * nail ¥ '