The evening world. Newspaper, September 10, 1913, Page 14

eens Renee meme The £ vening World Daily Magazine. Wednesday. ay Tork as Second-Class Matter. Bastans and the Continent and All Countfies tn the Interuational Postal Union One 80/One VDLKe To 8 SWEET uTTle P REFRESHING eooverecs 08! ere tet -NO. 19,013 ‘Tear. n. Month. BETTER BABIES. last,” Charles Dickens makes somebody say in one of his . stories. Joke or no joke, the world could eet iteelf no better task than to try to make it even half-way true. The Better Babies’ Contest which The Evening World is con- ducting in connection with the Babies’ Welfare Association is teach- ing this city o lot about ite babies, much of which can be a source of satisfaction and pride. In the east side section of the contest, where prises and honors have just been awarded, out of three hun- dred and six children under five, registered and examined by a board ef physicians, eighty-seven ecored ninety-five per cent. or over and thirty-five came up to ninety-seven per cent. or higher. These young- aters would be « credit to any community on earth. As an incentive to pride and special care on the part of mothers, and fathers, too, the contest has proved its value a thousand times over. The picture of one nearly perfect child published in The Evening World even proved the means of bringing home an erring father who made up his mind that euch a fine baby was after all a thing to love and work for. In giving to the winners of the east side contest the money , prises and awards of excellence offered by this newspaper Judge Henry M. Goldfogle, Congressman from the Twelfth District, Goclared: 6 :ud dvoid i) sqpememaliet | gainnudhaiaeth Ail; Sree, |, é The Evening World ts entitled to much pratse for having con- ducted this campaign of education. It means much to the com- menity st large. The physical and mental development of the chil- dren \s of the highest importance to the city, the State and the nation. These beautiful children will grow up to be the flower of bd) OMY BABY born into the world is « finer one than the the cRizenship of, New York. = * Meanwhile in other sections of the greater city the contest goes merrily op. In ttan and Brooklyn twenty-five hundred babies are registered, waiting to be examined and judged. Six months from now The Evening World will hold its Improve- ment Contest. It is confident that this will prove in the highest degree successful and significant in showing how mothers can. profit ~~by instruction to bring their babies up to higher standards, The Im- provement Contest will demonstrate what wonders care and cultiva- tion can work with the baby crop. Already, however, the present contest has abundantly confirmed the belief with which this newspaper started the seriee—that there ia no better way to better the city than to better the babies. —— Anybody who would like a slice of Fusion has only to ask for , tt. All weloome, Mbiens tan nual ——— THE BATTLE OF LAKE'ERIE. NE HUNDRED years ago to-day, at Put-in-Bay, near the O western end of Lake Erie, the United States and Great Britain fought the famous naval figh: to which the lake has given its name and which the American commander, Oliver Hazard Perry, summed up in that matchless message to Gen. Harrison: “We have met the enemy and they are onre—two ships, two brigs, one seheoner and one sloop.” , The American fleet consisted of three brigs, five schooners and @ loop. Officers and men on the American side numbered 490, on the British about 400. The American vessels mounted fifty-four gens, throwing « broadside of 963 pounds. The sixty-three British gums threw a broadside of 459 pounds. Though of heavier calibre, the (American guns could not carry as far as those of the British. Naval \ _ Watory sharps have made these figures the basis of endless bickerings ’ as to the relative strength of the two fleets and the amount of real qwedit that belongs to Perry. The plain facts remain, however, that although Perry’s ships were new and “green,” and his men not so well disciplined as the English, efter the enemy had so bombarded his flagship, the Lawrence, that > he was forced to leave hor disabled and shift his flag to the Niagara, the Americans stuck to their guns and blazed away until the British commander, Barclay, who had served under Nelson at Trafalgar, sur- rendered his flagship, the Detroit, and three other vessels. The re- maining two were easily captured. The battle lasted three hours and @ quarter. The American loss was one hundred and twenty-three killed and wounded, the British one hunderd and thirty-five. The victory on Lake Erie gave this country the Upper Lake region and took away all fear of invasion in that quarter. It gavo us our chance to get back Detroit. It made possible the conquest of Upper Canada by the American forces under Gen. Harrison. It earned for an engagement involving fifteen vessels on an American lake s place among the great naval fights over whose memory the world lingers. overt Rte York Evening Werke Da fe 1 like about New York,” aaid Mr, Blodger of Phila- deiphia, ‘is that so long a8 they ge¢t your money in this town they'll stand for murder. Now, over in Philadelphia if you open @ bottle of beer on Sunday you'll get raided. That's why we have clube—Ddeneficial orders Hke the Secret Society of Saga- cious and Splendid Snakes. But here im this town nobody seems to care whi going on in the pareona: “After we aell our property we'll blow. Philly—there's too much neighborly in- terest—but In New York nobody cares whether the Kellys are at ‘t again. Why, logk, you live here in this alr. tight flat right up against ten other air-tight flats, and maybe every other flat in the house ought to be raided. Wh: “Willie” cried Myre, Jarr, “leave the table! Didn't I tell you if you ever ate with your knife again you should leave the gable?” “But I wasn't, maw; that mai Ing with his knife, but I ain’ the Httle Jarr boy In hurt tones. “Excuse me, Mr, Blodger," sald Mra. Jarr. “And now, Willie, you can leave the table for contradicting mamma, and you can go with him, Pmmi. Ger- trude will give you your ice cream in your room!" The children took their banishment in good part, secing that tt was amello- Fated with ice cream, and Mra, Jarr af- terward confessed that it hurt her to have to be unjust to the children, but whenever out-of-town people got to dis- cussing the wickedness of New York tt was time to send the children from the room, “Aa I was saying,” Blodger remuined whon the children had been gulded out, with Gertrude, the light running domes ‘Whe Was She? ‘To the Editor of The Brentng World: Here is an old but clever query that . ‘used to be put to us in Bunday-school. It may interest or amuse your readera, 4” Or, Wetter still, send them to the Scrip- tures for an"answe money, Take it and buy yourself a Gress. Here, you others, are four sums ranging in arithmett Progression from 8% to %0, according to your sev- Fecelve? Split tho pennies, If necessary, im your answer, For her father had no seruples about fractional currency. COLUMBIA SENIOR, Buenos Ayres, ‘Do the Editor of The Evening World: 1 would advise “Ambitious” to keep platen of ice cream, “this Is the town for my mone; e Hits From Sharp Wits. ‘Who says the United States ts not tm- proving, Jack Jdhnson banished and Thaw detiining to come back, oe = We all know the chief result of tea, said a doctor recently, tle, luring them on with two heaping | g, VERY CLEAN AND «Fue Conquests of Constance The Threat Man. player tonar: whene' dulge ittve,’ thought ‘eelf-destroyer'a’ I DO take basoball news, an’ that's no Josh, {f th’ Giants don't take a tumble to theirselves an’ cop th’ world seri be out some coin, hair nets to four hair nets that they would, Ain't {t funny? Baseball, what used to be a fair an’ peaceful beginnin’ to make th’ Bulgarian-Turkish spat look lke a kaffecklatsch, murder an’ sudden death takin’ place right on th’ ficld causo th’ fans don't take n Itkin’ to one uv th’ gold front tooth! “If 'd ‘a’ been there maybe T wouldnt ’ done a thing but uze my hatpin on speakin' "bout hatpins an’ th'!/So ono night after he had went Into de- | id yuh ever stop to real- firat page. Jus’ lke clockwork I do it.” “How about th’ store ada?" “Oh, I lve on THE! they gettin’ classy! nowadays js as good as any no maybe th’ illustrations ain't flossy genuwine interest In th’ with little, weapon in her lit what is Jus’ as dan- Serous as th’ yuh to carry? I wus goin’ with a feller what come New Orleans, ead take me a couple that monaker, in it. Such Is Life! eceeeinie } By Alma Woodward i Copyright, 1918, by The Preas Publish ing Co, (The New York Brening World). 6T AY! yun reaa muoh? Connie questioned, T nodded assent. r 1 get any thme to spare I in- fo wh th’ appellation fer eayin’ ‘Doin’ it all th’ eg tens THE Ti GARDEN uur By CROne ap eorreaFLieS THE BIRDS ARE oe } SINGING WHAT'S, Mr. Jarr Gets Invited mother takes books from om the|dressing Mrs, Blodger in hopes of ost | changing the conversation, “Don't mention it,” sald Mr, Blod, epeaking with @ mouthful; ‘their make your eyes pop out. e and see.” less I went along.” “Nix! aid Mr, Blodger people sit up and wonder th’ newspapers) ‘Well, this guy, comin’ frum New Or- leens, wus kind uv flery—nll uv th’ New Orleenere tell yuh first thing how they strung up a couple uv thousand Mafla stars to lampposts on th’ main shoppin’ street one mornin’ an’ then @ hour an’ @ half afterward how ali th’ ladies wuz shoppin’ on that street like nothin'd happened. Well, he wus full uv delicate! the girls wanted to know. 1 | ttle He-comics Ike that, too, an’ aleo|is that tt !s a wonder uv mogds, Every time he caught yuh lookin’ ’round to kind uv exercise yer 'd swear yuh wuz googlin’ guy an’ smk Into one uv them moods an’ say wua goin’ to commit suicide some da; ried @ gun, too, an’ no one but the alim! ent, rankest coward will do that In New York, At first It used to scare me silly, ‘j + ainre | Pt BO through @ reg'lar song-an'-dance jitors that patronize such An’, gee! ain't! right on th’ apot to take his mind off'n| Mr, Jarr mildly. ‘hy, a store ad/it, an’ after @ while he'd cool down an’ An’ “I suppose you've "I do, too," she acknowledged. “I'm a perfec’ fiend on news- ed—dreadfully wick them before the police clo Papers, It's funny the way I read the ‘Aw, it's all a big sw! Blodger, disgustedly. doin’ it an’ I never change, Fint I read th’ death col- umn, then th’ baseball news,| then th’ thentr ede, an’ fin'ily and th actor carry Was nothin’ to Yorkers are a lot of boob: go on feedin’ his face, Well, In th’ b Bive moral tone to the then it got to be An'| that it wuz ‘before to rise,’ un’ finally tt wus ‘right here he- fore your eyes.’ When it got stage I wuz nervous for fair, knew If he did make a mistake some | time an’ reelly do tt tt wouldn't be quite ax amusin’ as th' reg'lar parlor | tricks, Bo all th’ time yuh c'n image ine I wuan't th’ merricat little aquab In this burg, Then when th’ novelty uv th’ threats wore off some, he'd tell HOW he wuz goin’ to accomplish It. “Gee! he wuz up on all th’ perfectly |good pulsons an’ th' fancy kind uy bing- bing acts wuz to him Ike @ open bool, wilow of means, “New jocked at those things. rm I bet a girl frien’ #lx oy 1," interposed Mr. for people to comé a dist: rt, is What ) “——and find them closes me. tinued Mr. Blodger. could have been a caniat “If people want to the best jud jtail ‘bout some grand new machine! what'd do th’ trick ‘thout leavin' a blemish on his fair face £ got awfully weary uy th’ whole thing an’ I thought it wus about time it wus brought to @ head, Bo I took my hatpin out uy my hat an’ [ handed It to him right in front uy th’ mob what wuz there in th’ Ital- table d’hote, an’ I sea: @ woman carries @ “Does the squaw baw! you come home with the Mr. Blodger, giving Mr, look, for he evidently what they forbid ive to that when Iped a pocket dle- | Ke fellow 0 out and see if thore Sports out scouting in bunch of Snakes I know 1 wus hatchin’ muy, I oused it stylish way uy|to faint, an’ then he bogin t time’ wus ‘repet-| pretend he'd deen footin’ frum ‘sulekid bein’ @ ugly word, 1/Gpe! it wus th’ alckiicet PESSa, ees | Sesinet Dim Wt 5, 80s, ue eat ln to Tae SECOND ACT LiKe 2 HAAASAAAAAABASALABSAAAAAAABAAIAA AS | to Join the Order of Snakes HIAAAKAAAAAAAAARAALALAASAAA RAS MBS BA dreadful town!" chimed in| French lessons?" asked Mrs. Jarr, ad- “We went right train to see a theatre where shocking things made me blus! “Are the qirls gtill interested in their In French that even the pictures would) as wicked as thoy say? When our property I'm going over “The French are shocking, wicked sald Mra, Blodgett, ‘and I wouldn't let you go abrond un- trall with me to this town and make ing out late with my mother, but if I go to Paris on our honeymoon I'll go alone. No wift for Paris for me!” i wicked playa the police aro closing ui Blodger, turning to M you New Yorker: I wanted to se to see how wicked they were, becaus ‘ing a fatter old actress up a flight of stairs, And I paid six doll for my seat to a speculator, “Well, It's the out-of-town people who “They don't see them,” said Mr. Jarr. T can say Is that I think it's an outrage they are really hot #tuft""— “Shocking and degrading, you mean, Bernard,” interrupted Mrs. Blodger, when we get to town. We saw one this afternoon, but it was a swindle,” con- | With =m e shocked and disgusted their worth,” volunteered Mr, Jarr, Jarr wae speaking for effect. we let the wiffs stay home and the nelghbora while you and I September 10,1913 them printed! I wonder if eurtly, "You what I'm do- nm all thom 'e Wick: d them, 4 but all from Philadelphia once to see ‘Sapho,'| it but a fat 2 You New anyway.” thing: nation,” sald Mra, Biodger, with an old flosh of the spirit she had when Mrs. | Cackelberry Yorkers ain't Blodger, “al! co to see If by the police je it thore things as to whether you out when milk?” asked Jarr keen thought Mr, “If not, are any good this town--a are over from until AFTER marriage. knoweth-no-brother he searcheth the house for a club wherewith to chastieg; his wife. He kicketh down the front door before him and bangeth his | house paint and beads of glass, | the chaste and graceful TURKEY-TROT, Y Daughter, a Civilized Man is a wonderful thing! meant mm Lo, the ways of a Sa’ are inscrutable, é La But all the ways of the Civilized Man are seemly in his own eyes, Behold, how brutal {s the Savage in his woolng. To show his devotion he graspeth a damsel by the hair and draggeth her three times about ‘Mj his hut, ‘i 5 But the Civilized Man is more subtle; he leaveth all the “hair pulling” Tho Savage taketh unto himself twenty wives for his diversion, But the Civilized Man taketh unto himself only ONE wifo and flirteth with his FRIENDS’ wives for diversion. Tho Savage goeth forth among his enemies and fighteth for hie mate. But the Civilized Man stayeth at home, by the fireside, and fighteth WITH her, When the Savage returneth home at eve filled with the grouch-that loved over the head. But the Civilized Man goeth OUT in search of bis club and leaveth hii Beloved to “think {t over.” : He kicketh the cat in his wrath and bangeth the front door BEHIND! him. 4 The Savage stealeth by night unto his neighbor's house and piifereth his. treasure and robbeth him of his daughter. But the Civilized Man lureth his neighbor into a POKER GAME taketh his moneys from him gently. " He spooneth with his nefghbor’s daughter, but suffereth his neighbor té continue to support her. The Savage killeth the beasts of the ficld and the birds of the alr fer?! his food and his raiment. But the Civilized Man {s more tender; he killeth them only for “sport” | The Savage eateth and drinketh in order that he may live. But the Civilized Man bulldeth temples to food and palaces to wie and glorifieth his stomach. Verily, he liveth in order that he may EAT and DRINK! The Savage maketh no laws and requireth no lawyers. 3 But the Civilized Man maketh a multitude of Inws and then payeth © millions of shekels unto the lawyers to tell him how to evade them— discreetly. The Savage weareth his locks unshorn and docorateth himeelf But the Civilized Man sheareth the hair from his head and urgeth it. to grow upon his chin, and adorneth himself in a swallow-tail coat. When the Savage rejoiceth he chanteth hymns unto Nature and caper, eth madly in the foolish “snake dance.” But when the Civilized Man {s merry he singeth ragtime and danceth Verily, verily, my Daughter, what a MARVELLOUS thing 1s civilisa- tion! Selah! The Day’s Good Stories De bose ts @ gentlemen, L could get a iin if I'd ask, and 1 beewee Dear Ancestors. WO closefisted Misgolri brother sued a | he’ T neighbor for $375 owing on @ land slesl, They engaged the best lawyer in their and tha's all J wante, 1 give me @ quarter if 1 wus hard apY— Vittsburz Dispateb, oy eo en 7 The Waiter’s Price. the | JT "as 8 banquet where a notable gathesing - | poulticians had aysembled, A certaim ae ) ng young attorney was aunong the mpme * won't te chara | OM ied an Influential Judge. @8» "hare kaown both you bose einve ju | We f ne called the head wait hs A 1 keow goer cap) 2 eae” into hie haud and whips. $00 ul beat eS Put me nest to Jalge Spink ab the ‘The inquiring brother went out only, George,” he said to th ‘m dun glad he didn't know grandyap % Saturtey Evening Post, a and as he end ‘voing seated, however, I> found he welt er end of tue room from the Judge,” ~ Lic) Generous Boss. fs that Judge gare me a dollar to put pines a, {you as far from him as poasidle,"—LApt CERTAIN darky who works a smal farm | ————— A on the other silo of Carrick fur “‘halves" Begging Off. ccasionally furnishes much ai . i ss J 66 N you dire: me to the best hotel tw askel the stranger, Who,” | afer watching the train denen? f. {bat set his satchel upon the station platform, ont, | “Lo replied the man w ras waiting Ger mt jon of hoarding up a good erence at his club, was asked an a way of * replied that person, ‘fine n't hep all you raise, do yo rejlied the darks, and be continued: ‘¥ . Ise ete half of all T form of dtab pery is to be fe in the me skirts, One side. this one is cut witl @ pointed edge saat 1s lapped In a novel ffective manner, The arrangement of the fulness at te! back is exceptional, too, for it ts { box-platted Skirts of are pretty for dresses and tk door gowna, ail the faahi materials @re the points e fective trimming, the Y meditam: : feauire ay yande i = material vf, if y } inches" wide’. the = width at the edge is 1 yard 16 In this cover it nicely.| yuh ever seen, an’ it turned me so|Going to the theatre to Call at THR BYENING WORLD MA MANTON FAS! BURBAUD, Donald Building, 100 West “nirty-second street (... te Gimbel Bros.), corner Sixth avenue and Thirty-second s New York, or sent by mali on receipt of ten cents ia co, Write your address plainly and slwase ‘00. tgp conte foe latter postage If im a bur