The evening world. Newspaper, March 15, 1913, Page 10

ESTABLISHED BY JOSBPH PULITZER, Pudlicned Daily Except Oups by the Press Fubiteniag Company, Nos. 53 to w Yor! ‘ark BR RALPH PULITZ: nt, 68 Park Row, u A 10 rk Row AT: J. ANGUS FY Tre H PULITZER, Jr JOSEP huntered at dhe Post-Office at New York a» Second-Cla Subseription Rates to The Evening For England ana the and World for the United States All Countries in i: Inton, and Canada. if ° sss $2.50 One Tear. ‘ 20 One Month one Year One Month “VOLUME 3 NO, 18,834 SAYING IT IN EASY ENGLISH. ROM the Health Department comes announcement of the prepa ration of a ‘booklet which translates every health ordinance into easy colloquial English.” It would have been better had the second adjective been left out. ‘There are some colloquialism: not more easy to understand than the word itself is to spell. Simple English is best both in announcements and in the fortheoming bookler. Moreover, it is needed, All ordinances that run to the common affairs of men should be set forth in that way. Legal phraseology is az confusing to the popular mind as it is to the courts, but unfortu nately the people have not authority like the courts to “interpret” the confusion each to his notion. A bulletin of the Health Departinent urging on the work of spring cleaning puts the issue in this way: “Is your back yard dirty or littered with fubbish? Clean it out so that baby can play th Dirt fattens flies and kills babies. Clean up.” ich words carry their meaning to every home where there is a The Evening World Daily Magazine. ie RENN wr Ie RRND, Saturday, lack yard and a baby. Moreover, even where there is neither yard nor baby, they will have power to help on the work. All agree there York. ———__29e- WILLING TO SERVE WHERE NEEDED. S attitude toward polities ISTRICT-ATTORNEY WHITMAN’ D is surely that of a good citizen. He is willing to accept a nomination for the Mayoraliy or for the Supreme Court or for re-election to his t office, with the proviso, of course, that nemination come from a substantial body of worthy citizens. It should be no flies on New is the attitude of a man willing to give public service wherever tlie voice of his constituents calls him, but not turning aside from the duties of the day to: seek other preferment or any reward beyond * what will rightly come to him from the arduous service already done. Mad we more men like this, problems of municipal government | would be fewer than they are. Back of every vexatious issue is the Jack of some competent man to deal with it. The saying of Samuel Johnson, “For forms of government let fools contest. That which is hest administered is best,” may be wrong when‘ applied to nations, but is valid enough as regards cities. And good adminiatration roste with good men willing to enter public service wherever needed. The example of the District-Attorney is therefore worthy of more than passing note. He serves his city best who serves where he is most needed. 2 THE GERM IN THE FREE LUNCH. NNOUNCEMENT of the probable passage of a bill by ihe | Connecticut Legislature to abolish f lunch from the saloons of the State is not in itself a, matter of concern to New Yorkers that haven't Connecticut farms, habits or other con. | nections, But the further report that the bill is advocated not on behalf of temperance or economy, or manly dignity, but solely as a Sautary measure to prevent the distribution of disease germs, must give Us pause even at this distance from the scene of controversy, | Free lunches in times past have saved so many men’s lives, it is| Startling to learn that in a nei hboring State they are freighted w secds of death. In most localities they do not remain exposed on the counter long enough to ¢ vollect afy dangerous assorimen{ of gerins that, Yeing strong enough to defy the odors of whiskey and beer the fumes of tobacco, haunt the saloon, necticut, it may he so here, and the lunch must go. Wel age when the germ ke him, ive in an eps us jumping. There seems no escape from | harchman's” Views, To the Falitor of The Brening World Bome people seem exceedingly anx- fous for the return of pool room, the race track and the “blooded horw Dennen are added to there, Summing up all these reasons, I cannot see how a} policeman and agree with me in saying | Personally it matiers no o mye] at “the police are poorly paid.’ OMe It te aleve Nene nee ne MILTON HENRY TRUMKIN, | vived, but as a good cit! The Gamt err hope and trust that th: ‘of pout] Ti FAltor of "or TOOME has Bone forever, “howd cra] SPeaking of the possivle revival of recent “tacing” decision aa mandea| Cine. renders, do you imagine that down (which 1 nave neituar row andl DCMU Facing has been Megat for se¥- Gale Jenn about) be upheld, what ai ore yearw that as much betting | “comedy of errors” on tie splendid ad-| M4® Not been going on? Why ministration of Gov, Hughes to purity |‘! {9 reform an Impossibility the State! The infinitesiinal minority | YOu know et of mankind who want this eport must. not dom-|!* i» gamble? n have you | inate the overwhelmingly tremandous|# Pet of a pair of gloves or a ts elgars or candy? 1 don't suppose y pene that gambling. 1. supe, lawless should be kep! rigidly sub- worvient to constitutional democracy. CHURCHMAN 1 suppose you called that # friendly wager mere! | becuse it only involved a small su ;To my mind there are many things more disgusting than rave track gam. | id ! to Jonn F., Mt. Vernon,| Dune N. Y., asking to prove by algebra ‘1 = fallacy that 4 = 2, 1 submit the follow i} 6 6, 9-15 = 4-10, Adding “it h side of equation we get 9-15 the | % = 4-10 + 86-4, Extracting ve oot of each We get the square root of 9-15 + 25-4 — the square root of 410 or 3— cancelling 5-2 both gee. GR B y Poorly paid?” 1 wish to may thet I think they are. In the fire: place, a policeman takes his life im his hands whenever he reports for duty. Numbers of policemen have lost their lives doing that thing wateh is sacred to them called “duty.” The po- Mceman works day and nigh the whole year around, including hu! days, risking his life constantly. In ihe winter time a policeman on a fixed oat has not @ very enviable position 4& policeman has to buy his uniform, club, badge, revol Mt, terse, ped- diethes, Ac. And house ex- If it be different in Con- | uh tine and strength. be yout" “2 will not tell: you,” fair-minded person should not pity the tl! you all the diskra He turned to @ guest, Mr. Benjamin, for an opinion as to the evil effects of cube root, who quil it has F | unprejudiced in regard to the subject,” r Senate his frail health might not enable him to perform the duties of the head of a department who had by music and dance and laughter held sway even when war encircled the nation. MARCUS, The Boarding House Goat THE CURTAIN RISES AT Bi15 SHARP 1 CAN'T HURRY ANY FASTER. L HAVE ToPut MY HAT ON STRAIGHT BAREHEADED CAN'T | 2 March I CAN'T GO | Ad Copytiahi, 1913, by The Prem ig HE Lenten Prayer of a Wise Woman, which is Mrs, Solomon's: T Oh, Providence, hear now my supplication and bestow upon me 1 beseech Thee, the Gift of Gift Let some cry unto Thee for suffrage, and others for marriage; some for sovialism, and others for optimism; but as for me, I aak only for the gift of COMMONSENSE, which is the most UNCOMMON thing in ath he world. : Bless me with beauty, or curse me with brains, as Thow secst fit, but grant me Commonsense, that 1 may neither allow the former to turn my head with vanity nor the latter to obsess me with conceit. Endow me with genius if Thou wilt, but lend me Commonsense that I may become neither a freak, nor a cubist, nor a monomaniac, nor an egoti nor a blue-stocking. Grace me with femininity, inspire me with a love of the beautiful, and cheer my spirit with Good Clothes, but stay me from becoming a FADDIST. Yea, deliver me from frowsy hair, and long earrings, and Bulgarian colors, and slashed skirts, and jewelled anklets, and the new WAISTLINB that extendeth to the knees, For, verily, | should az soon be seen wearing a ring in the nose as one of these. Fill me with spirituality, | pray Thee, but bestow upon me Common- sense that I may not follow after false gods, and voodoos, and brahmina, and star-gazers, and ghost-seers, and holy rollers, and sun worshippers, and Jortune-telicra, and charlatans. Grant me a sense of humor, but stay me from the folly of trying to be eternally “FUNNY.” Oh, let my wit be tempered with mercy! Send me LOVE, I beseech Thee, but let me not make of any man a demigod. Neither let me regard ALL men as worms because one of them 1AM HURRYING : MY HAT IS ON Cl Sun NceeTS IAM READY ARE FOR TONIGHT CAN You NOT To MORROW, Beat it? Chats With Great Men of the Civil War By: Mrs. Gen. Pickett 29—CLEMENT C. ULAY, Confederate Statesman. 1913, by ‘The [rem Publish ing Co, (The New York bvening World), “Nothing serious must walk in upon us with gloomy face to-night, This one M’ meetings with Senator Clay occurred in my school-] evening is dedicated to the Goddess Terpsichore, and she shall claim all our a Copyrignt So they were not with the grave, earnest, | tim well as the devotion of our hearts, patriotic statesman, but ‘Our host loves interest in even his most brilliant state papers and eloquent | hearted, charming gentleman, speeches when he has an opportunity of writing stanza of the poetry of mo- fie eeetous thountith to 6h tion in the book of time,” observed Mr, Vest, rather with the kind who for a moment laid favor to one too: inexperi- ed for the discussion of his great work. “We can have papers and speeches for every day fare," replied Senator Clay. topping over in Richmond once on my way from{"To-night the nectar of the Olympian gods may be ours and we must not let school to see my friends, Colonel and Mrs, Shie'* they | Politics mar its flavor.” took me to call on Senator and Mrs, Clay, The Senator and his goddess were always sweet and lovely to young people, and to please me by showing in- terest he asked me what studies I had and if I liked them. I told him that I did not like arithmetic, He asked me how far I had gone. 1 told him I was in cube root. He shook his head in disapproval, “That is too far," he said, for cube root? Lobelia root or geranium root may be Fe but never cube root, It is an absurd waste of T don't believe Mrs, Clay knoys anything about cube root. “Senator Clay could furnish a model in grace of movement that Apollo might well imitate,” wid another guest, voicing the admiration of us all; for next to, the fame of his ability ax a statesman was he noted for social graces and the beauty of his dancing. Though Mr. Clay as a Senator of the United States stood rigidly for State rights, representing Alabama as an envoy from a sovereign State, an attitude, with which many of hix fellow Senators would not have agreed, his intellectual Power, nobility of character, depth of heart and graciousness of manner won friends regardiess of all political differences, When he resigned from the United States Senate on that dark day in Jan- Uary, 1831, Senators from all sections ®athered around him to bid him a sad farewell and godspeed, At the close of the learned that a reward for his arrest ‘had been offered, conscious of being innocent of any wrongful act, he went immediately to the nearest Federal of fiver, surrendered and was imprisoned in Fort Monroe, ¢ his health, al- ready impaired by diseane, was #0 ‘broken that he never recovere: After a prolonged im ment ne was freed through the persistent and laborious efforts of bis beautiful and rilfant wife, who, at the risk of life Went to Washington and ministration doors, thwart- ing plot after plot, o barrier raised against ‘hat use has a woman replied Mra, Ch eful things I know? “Do you suppose I am going to war when h agreed with him, saying: perience that cube root and love a! en my 4 in the world, not teach love In my school,” T replied: “only cube roo only half as bad ws they might be then,” returned opinions on love do not count,” sald Mr, Clay, ving about it ter authority 1 am the cause of all the r. Benjamin. “He is only a So much the retorted Mr, Benjamin, “ because I am We were invited one ¢ of Mra, Du Val, bers having of the Cx the apartment of Senator and Mrs, Clay at rele were domiciled, some of its | Ix of the Clays in Washington, Mr, Clay was in the having declined a seat in the Cabinet, fearing that There wi sent, © several guests jm among them Senator Vest of Missourl, ght his violin, on which he played while the others danced, for until sho her, won her way by invincible persistence. He returned to his home in Hunts- ville, and after some years of suffering passed beyond the sorrows of tho world, nved to speak of the alarming decrease in value of Confederate » when Mr. Clay said: | mourned by hi 4 of friends in all parts of the Nation, 2 YES HE SPOK OKE SO 1 JUST HIM RIGHT IN TH’ EYE!! { HULLO MaRcos'T WHERE D'YOU GeT TH’ BEAUTIFUL GLIMMER? VY VrAW Hoe); | beaten path has m | AFRAID to take the plunge? | vines are may prove a LEMON. Give mea perfect understanding of MEN, that I may ace through their ways and their byways, But make me neither a “man-tamer” nor a “man hater,” for these two are abominations unto me. Deliver me from all EXTREMES, From all fads, and eccentricities, and poses, and fanaticism, and caprices, and hysteria—oh, stay me! Lead me in the LEVEL paths, and kecp my soul BALANCED, that 1 may not be tempted into the Crazy Patch. rily, verily, though a woman have all the wit, and beauty, and tois- dom, and virtue in the whole world, and have not Commonsense, they shall profit her nothing. And another woman may have not ONE of these, yet with Common- sense she shall attain whatsoever she desircth, from money unto matri, mony. For a happy woman is one part flesh, and one part spirit, and ninety- eight parts COMMONSENSE, Selah! The Man Who Ventures to Desert the Beaten Path % © By Sophie lene Loeb. ND now it 1s come to notice that; A there is a little palace-hotel situ- ated on the river, containing but one famjly—a fath- er and mother and four bright little giris-who have found this way of solving the “hign- cost-of-living” question to their satisfaction It is noa float- ” Then think of the canalboat man who plunged right 'nto a ble river and took his family along and for two years has been living “happy ever afte: the thing that you would do USUAL and not just you or lke you h accordingly can you not sum up the WILL, although you have the WISH ty do It? Then you have but to consift the his- of man's achievements since And in aearly every case when as thore the WAY was found, Waaieatnce alt (Ok far not spanned the Rubicon Mae pecuer len 4 not hive conquered, Had Co- y ,{lunbus not TAKEN A CHANG Just ax happy across place as is the|t# Water he would not have discovered beautiful eratt o¢{® "ew world, Had Washington not the peer. The father, afier having saved ign gy aa ¢ we might not 4 ttle sum of money, figured and And had the host of this new palace {hotel not braved the elements, living on the river, he would never have FOUND, ° on $25 a month. While tt { vt always safe to be a plunger, It is vetines safe to take a plunge, You see some fellow forging ahead |Dechuse he has had the COURA ithe will to tain step, perchance drastic, you may knew he is of the calibre that aid not schemed how he could «0 invest it fo the best good of ail concerned—those dependent upon him—and this was the result While this is a unique tdea, and cer- tainly off the beaten ways for the evary to and FIND TI best. Young man, lay traveller to turn WAY that he thinks ave you been remaining think of the “has-beens,"" but rather In the rut, worsing for Just so much | the wiltebes and yet realizing that perhaps with! fistead of worrying at the end of a chance you ould do BETTER than} years about the ‘“nught-havesheens,” are doing now? ye you been] kucw that in all experience WHAT HAS COME MAY COME AGAIN. And hav The Day’s Good St In the Interval, attorney who ty who rarely in X oratory in arguing « ae gaze =) Little Brother Speaks. who was an ardent admirer of ‘The lawyer paused and Ma fare tumed red, And while ge is sta continued, "1 facts tn th in an effort to appeal | to the sentiment of the juror, So the attorney | took his friends’ advice, “Down in the hills of old Kentucky stands a little cottage,” “Around the sing a solo at a churoh entertainment, ‘The following morning at the breakfast table she remarked to her younger brother; Ww ever thought my voice would fill thet gray-baired mother, waiting-— “As 1 was saying, down in the hills of old Kentucky stands a little cottage, An Neith ingly, cott's, did 1," anewered her brother unfeel- “I thought it would empty it,""—Lippia- ——-—___ stands a aras — - - Those Gift Cigars, H™ INHAW handed his best friee@ @ "Have a emoke,” he said, said the friend, 'm glad that's off my ening?’ Mf your mind?" “Yeu; I went with your wife to pick cigars, and they were the very best I in town,""—Oleveland Plein Dealer, —_—_—_—. | Great System. ARTS were on the tal regen ie fart, everett san fevlied the cook, flemty, “‘Some'e Apple and some’s reapberry,"* “Win they're all marked "T, A..'* ead te | mistrem, “How can you tell the Qitierenne | tween them om ie » | “"Kasy, 'm,"" wae the cook's prema croeaction, “The apple tarte ane marked ‘T. A. for * A id the raspberry ome am martes ‘By