The evening world. Newspaper, December 19, 1912, Page 27

death.” I old colored “We hav he said, ws” foh de sake of “My: yy” TSYE BYE THALLY,. THEE You THum More, THEE You THum MORE, HE preacher who takes the prize In raising needful sums for church work eo far i an @ collection to take up dis mawnin’ ‘@ collection for a mos’ important c an’ we needs as much money as we kin git. HO can square the Christmas circle? It is @ point in higher W mathematics. In fact, the mathematica Wis os are so. high Christm “EINRY Wiica Ge jas Circle has ever been Ne to reach them. Here's the idea Every one you ask will tell you that he spends in Christmas presents fully twice as much as the value he gets in return. Sup- Dose @ man spends $0 in presents, $10 in tips and $% in charity. That makes 3%. Does he get 45 worth of presents in return? Not he. Yet some one must. In rare instances women and children Get back at Crristmas more than they eive, But hardly often enough to bal- ance the enormous sum on the other side of the ledger. People as a rule sive more than thoy get. By ordinary mathematics or logie this can't be, But it fs. Who can explain Jt? Perhaps the me nius who can guess who finds all the lost article: By the way, who DOES find them? That's another Prab- lem of the same sort. Everybody has lost many valuables during a lifetime. No one has ever found half as many ag he lost. Why not? What becomes of them? “What doce Yule ‘tide’ mean?” “Oh, ‘tied’ ie just @ synonym for ‘strappe powder fuctory, berson by his side ac general factotum., ily. atruck a match," incy Bill, eried. “1 been the last thing he'd do,’ of all fully. You say Yuma Bill died like a dog?” “Yes, stranger, he ketched a cough, an’ jes’ nachilly barked ai man down South. But, your reputations, whichever of you stole Mr, Jones's turkeys don't put nothin’ in de plate” That was how he got money out of every mem- ber of his congregation, “What are you going to give her for Christmas?” N the Mississippi River in olden ef ke oe were very ornate affairs, vying with each other in garish glory.’ One owner hit on the idea of naming his steamboat's cabins Instead of numbering them, #0 he named them in honor of the States of the Union, each having above the door the gilt title of some State, the big central cabin veing called the “Texas" after the largeat State, Other boat owners took up the !dea, and thus the word cabin was gradually alternated by ‘State’ room. For years the best cabin Was atill known as the Texas. Then that sobriquet died with the ebbing slory of the old river ateamers. But the word “stateroom” became incorporated into our language, and in time even broke Into the dictionary, as does many another catch phrase, Not one person in a thousand who occupies a siateroom knows the term once meant “a room “Well, sir,” came the reply, Bill went into the mixing room and by mistak “The Evenin , Pop?’ ¢ World Daily Magazine, Thursday, Decembe AND WHEN IM GONE TLL THEND YA POTHT CARDS GALORE ! YE TYE THALLY HE heavy fur coated man owned the gun- and the 1 ted “And how did it happen?” asked the employer, ! The boss looked surprised, auya Anawers. People, doing that! hould have thought that would have} “It was, air,” replied thé lanky one, remorse- | i “Say, you boob, I asked about Christmas, not about April Fool's Day.” HERE, THEDE Ano) EVERY WHERE. cadaverous foreman and ou eee, sir, old he THER YA thn serene JOHN, YOU MUST GET YouR, INTHE NEW CUBIST IMPRESSION STYLE ~ IT'6_VERY FASHIONABLE Good Night HAve WITH US TONIGHT, ouR FRIEND ALKALI IKE. THE QUESTION mee SANTA GONNA GET DOWN THE CHIMNEY IN WILKES HOUSE 1F THe SMATTER Midicttle HIST! He's Next?! HE SAW THE WHoLE SHOOTIN’ MATCH! NOW WEVE GOTTA KEEP Him AWAY FROM @ PORTRAIT PAINTED Q CAN You PAINT MY PORTRAIT IN THE NEW STYLE oF Copyright, 19) by The Pres Hub (The New York Even By FerdL ong. VICK THE SOULE ' ee (T=: aa Conqu ests of Constance Ant ‘* ST veritable standing 4 | 3 of and \ afraid a distance with trees and ‘op there 18 a 004 lady ie busy ye a purpose—-Wide World, jepoaited in Nountains. AFRICAN shaped something like a raf and are divided inside into tiny to Say, myriad ome are all gathering food and watching over *h eggs and youngsters. to touch thei the! ort of attie iI,” where the queen ant lives, is a ys found on the ground floor. priyoner, but 1s carefully immediately carried away hills are frequently These ant giants, forty feet high named for a St ) They have, of inhabitants, busy making roa rooms. The natives are hills, except from The ants around firearms, r strongholds are built very soli? !mea twenty ineh is hollow and at the! The “royal Fil} This} he subjects, the ess ‘ooms" eet apart for ¥ }S Round A Swat the Fiy! UPS FIERCE | TH’ WAY TH’ | HUMANS GOK BIFFIN’ FOLKS!) ww | Some Booy Do SUMP —, OA iN? JUS’ SEE THAT POOR ABouT ut! The | Uy Bere Beaiity By Aima Wooa ward, 'No.7--"From By Frederic Redaall. » { " Doctor. Co 1912, by The Prev Publishing Co. (Tie Now York Evening World.) Greenland aley meek tana M2. Rese ofwctinn nnnnnnnnnnrennnnefa| Mountains.” of GECVAY, Isn't there some quotation tt the grandest salmon pink yuh ever 5 TE famous missionary hymn taken to the affirmation that ‘Kvery that says ‘The poor we have al- seen, So I went to him to have some] From Greenland'’s Iey Moun- prospect pleases, and only man ts vile,’ v8 with us,’ or something eyelashes grow, I ain't got eon the tains was written In 1819 at and indeed a reference to Heber's blog- like that,” asked | botto; shelf, y'know, Wrexham in England. “The raphy shows that the latter half of Constance, as she! "Gee, he had a roarin’ business! Rasy | author, Reginald He the phrase is @ hasty generalisation, rang the bar for money? Why, jus’ lke takin’ lather| staying rein-law, unded ona single sentence, A Cinga- four royal smiles to! frum a barber, he go: his! If yuh could] ley, r in, at th | lexe Keeper presented the great be sent up to 48 | seen the line uv screams he Ship had to preach @ sermon in ald! md ivy bishop with an unduly exor- ‘h-huh,” T rallied tn his shop yuh'd never get ove jot the famous Soclety for the P wa- bitant bil, and that was how he came answered it, Women weighin’ easy tw on! ton of the Gospel in Forel on Pi to the conclusion that man was vile In| 1 thought so, T the hoof, with a family uv chins, frum, a certain Sunday, The day befd Ceylon. thoug 1 the baby stze up, an’ shapes Ike the| Dr. Shipley and a few friends were sit-! OF the fifty-nine elegant hymns writ- ona mn tleket 8% Building, waitin’ to turned | ting in the Ilbrary of the vicarage when ten by Bish Pp Heber none ts so widely what comes inj into Slinksy vampires, what look well! the vicar asked his son-in-law to write: known or so frequent! sung aa his some — cigarettes | crawlin' on floors an’ things! something for them to sing In the morn-! “mis ary hymn.” In 1833 he was onet, Well, its) “Skinny old matds, what had to u@e|ing—something appropriate to the eub-!mady Wishop of Calcutta, where three | funny, but I never|magnets to keep ‘heir clot frum} Ject of foreign missions. i re later he died of apoplexy while {n see much real poor| fallin’ off, dead sure they wua goin’ to “Fifteen Min 4 later Heber read the bathtub was found dead by a ser. the bus oe|have @ ravishin' figure in two weeks,) aloud to the surprined and a Hier nt. His distinction gvas the outerowt an’ safety pin kind, I mean~'cept ‘round that'd make a Salome hide hehind the| group the ve ses of the now celebrated of tered rrent and education Christmas, an’ then, by gosh, the woods Woodpile! An’ at $5 a throw, too, Why,| hymn, Particular exception haa been! Tin or ‘Tipt pass is full uv tem, jus’ to make y art robbin' a bank, Includin' the murder uy | =| through several bands and finally came ‘nour yer expe the crippled an’ deat night watchma " lashes, what'd no of the Rey. I eo Of thing night, goin'} would be a pure an’ spotlese pastim. A Mpangled Beart! Ru MAT raphed face | that'd keep ‘om lettin’ loose npared to the way he got tls m fallin’ fer thati simile w and widely circulated, my girlish laugh \ if some one} zuma! jeomte opera | ft shows the mark of the rs “oop @umped a diamond javot in my lap.| “Well, T went to have the eyelashea| ‘so, when these pin feathers hook” on which It had been tmp which they ain't goin’ :o do. Tgetva ded beauty to my gesleht fer bein’, born, I says to him Jus’ what'd! On the back Is the ctr ‘uMetantial his “Blue? Why, say, It In't tickle grew, an’, by gosh, he got stuck on me. | fermentin’ In my brain all that! of Its composition, as above nar me none if I knew that PF ont Mor- An’ fT thought to myself: ‘HH J It wuz SOME te est te, The orte 1 was shown at gan felt he owed his fe to n I'm | nothin even though T we e it frum An’ then [ hotfooted | ¢ t World's Exhibition of 1851 In Lon that blue shat a canvasback'd be as/been seen goin’ through W It away. Say, If cost me seven good! dos j ashes an’ asafoetida on my tongue with him in public, I pret yoleons to hay t fuez winged off,| 1 Lowell Mason wrote the tune. en- ‘Oh, Connie, Conn! drop it!" T urged. | mushy—wattin’ all the t on an’ then T came blamed near to losin’) titled “Missionary Ifymn," now in gene “I come to you to be cheered up an’ fringe to sprout. Then I wun goin oOo }my lamps beside. feral use here you go and turn on the cemetery | print a chaste, farewell kiss on hia * ay-| An‘, to top tt off, that lemon xends| qn years @ movement aroso |stop, Tell me about the next of ther ned brow an’ beat it, {me a bill uv sixteen plunks fer startin’) prong ¢ n religious people to ba blasters, Hurry up, dot" yuh know what gre | that trich farm! Did he get it? 1! out this era old mnoont ground “He wuz a beauty doctor an' I wuz! FEATHERS! Yee, sir, they wuz fust) should say notaky! W jus, take ft! that tte toagery was antiquat or Ine sicked onto him by a frien’ uy my girl Ike that marabout stuff, an’ the slck- frum me @ Dit of free doi don't} accurate. But the chances vat the frien's, She had a liver spo: on her! Nest yaller yuh ever see Why, I] never get your face r poked, No devout will contin to ming r face what made her took like she'd been | looked like aw unripe chicken, An’ there! matier how worse it 1@, it 19 lable toa. eontand's Te * almont iit careless eatin’ a licorice, an’ he turned, he had guaranteed make tt worser! Don't I know?” from pol IM BANG | moo.ts — HUMAN aa WATTERS! EO eh rem eee eee eee wo (Copyright, 1912, by the Outing Publidhing Co.) Kent Dey" Ho | st J ire. “"tireaass | Orel te ate Iencthing | Dhintas Kicker, tell AM Hollis. aia tay. at nie tan wr Tavitherss Mima, ove 0 Shy wn Shot shunts the Soot tuto hia mim from 8 vialt to the Fevart to Hollis, CHAPTER XXIV. (Continned.) Campaign Guns. OU'VE got ‘om all stirred up, my boy!" he declared, Placing his hand on Ho He's shoulder with a re- sounding smack; “they're Kolin’ to enforce the little law we've got and they've passed some new ones. Here's a few. First and foremost, cat- tle stealing 1s to be considered felony! Penalty from ome to twenty years! “Next—free Water! Being as the rivers in thie Territory ain't never been sold with what land the Govern- ment sharks baa disposed of, any cat- tleman's got the right to water wher- ever he wante t, ‘The governor told me that if 1t@ necessary he'll send Uncle Sam's blvecoats anywhere in the Territory farce that! “Third—After @ man's registered his brand ho can't @hange it unless he ap- sto the District Judge. Them that ain't registere@ their brand ain't en- titled to no pretection. I reckon there {a trouble ahead for any man which monkeys with amother man's brand. “Say!” Allen ewed Hollis whimatcally; “that new gov@enor's all het up over you! Had a come of the Kicker in front of him on his desk when he was talkin’ to me, Says yau're a crapper from the word go, an’ that he'd back you up long as thee was @ bluecoat any- n the tertttor h was ungrammatical, but swaxe was one of good cheer and eyes brightes The Law was coming @t last! He could not heip but wonder what Dunlavey's feelings would be when he heard of It. For himself, he felt as any man must feel who, laboring at a seemingly impossible task, endless jend thankless, in the distance the possivie, the end, and the plaudits of his frien Yeu 1 end w Allon ould # not yet the end, but the He looked gravely at 1 \appen to hear when these Jawa v wffecth he inquired | “On the first day of October" returned | Allen triumphantly | Hollis smiled, “And election day ts the third of November,” he sald. “Phat ves Dunlavey, Watkins and company & month's grace1n case you are elected sheriff, Alion grinned. “Thoy can't do a heap | "No returned tolls, “but dn moat Jelections that have come under my ob jeervation, £ have noticed that the win |ning candidate does not assume office for @ considerable time after the elec- Uon Nat ia the custom out here? | Allen grinned grimly. “Usually it's |two weeks," he sald, “but if I'm elected fe will be the next day—if 1 have to go down to the shenf's offlve and drag Bil Watkins our by the hale!” ia IT SEEMS THERE AR pr rot OTHERS! = gens The Coming of th “THE 171WO-GUN MAN'S” Greatest Novel By Charles Alden Seltzer e Law “That belligerent epirit does you jcredit.”” dryly observed Hollis, “It will afford me great pleasuxe to participate +\in the festivities, But there is another matter to be thought of—which we seem to have overlooked. Usually before at election there (# @ primary, of @ con- ,|Yention, ts there not? here ts," grimmed Allen. “Tt’s to- jMight, and I'm ready for tt!" His grin expanded to a wide, whimsical smile, ‘'T told you that I'd been mixing a little Politica with business,” he sald. “Well, T've dono a0." He got up and | Proached the front window of the office, | sweeping a hand toward the street. “If you'll Just get up and look out here,” he sald, “you'll see that T ain't lying. There's some good tn being an ex-office holder—you get experience enough to tell you how to run a campaign.” He bowed to Hollis, ‘Now, If you'll look close at thet gang which Is mixing palaver in front of the Silver Dollar, you'll mebbe notice ¢ Lemvel Train is in ft, an’ Truxton the Diamond Dot, Holcomb of the Star, Yeager of the Three Diamond, Clark of the Circle Y, Henningson of the Three Bar, Toban of the T Down, an’ some more which has come in for the racket to-night, Countin’ ‘em all—the punchers which have come in with the fellows I have named—there'll be about geventy- five, | “An', say!" he added, suddenly con | fronting Hollis and grasping him by | the shoulder and shaking him playfully and admiringly, “there wouldn't be a | urn one of them have come over here Jon my account. They up an’ told me so when I asked them, Sald they'd nothin’ ag’in me, but they wasn't con- siderin’ votin’ at all. But since Hollis wanted me—well, they'd come over just to show you that they appreciated what you'd done for them!" Hollis amtled. He did not tet! Aflen that since the appearance of the Kicker containing the announcement that he was to be Its candidate he had written every email rancher in the vicinity, re questing as a personal favor that they appear in Dry Bottom the day of the primary; that these letters had heen delivered by Ace, and that when the poet returned he had presented Hollis with a let containing the neme of every rancher who haé promised to come, and tha: Severs) Aa td betes See 19 had known approximately aces would receive at the pei ary. MMe 614 not intend that Allen showé know this—or that he had beep gota quietly from one Dry Bottom merchant to another, appealing to them for thelr eupport. ‘nd the earnestnesa with which many of hem jied| promises! Bas convinced him that the be the beginning iJ the end fer Bal Watkins and Dunlavey. When he had fret come to Dry Bot- tom !t had been universally conceded by the town's cltisene that his difter- ences with Dunlavey and the Cattle- inen's Assoctation were purely personal. and there had been a disposition on the part of the citizens to let_them fight it out between themselves, But of late there had come a change in that itiment rhe change had been gradual, be- sinning with the day when he had told the author of the notice that had ap- peared on the door of the Kicker of- fice not to hold the express on his ac- count, But the change had come and {t was evident that it was to be perma- nont, Tt had been necesmary to |urouse the Government to the situation }in order to intervention He had hoped to secure this Interven- tlon without betna forced to a hostile Janh raith the opposition, but his firet meeting with Dunlavey had spoiled |that, Subsequent events had widened [the breaoh, He wan satlefled, Let Rit) Watking be defeated for Sheriff and Duntavey was | beaten, But there was much to be done bef that destrable end could be achieved Following the custom the primary. was to be held {n the Sheriff's office | Watkins had tssued a proclamation some weeks before; ft had appeared on | the door of the Sheriff's office—a written nolice, tacked to the door—but It had been removed the same day. Obviously, {t was the Sheriff's ‘inten tion to conduct the primary as quiet |as possible, hoping no doubt to disarm | whatever opposition might develop, But j Hollis had been apprised of the appear- ante f the proclamation and had auletly proceeded to plant the seed of opposition to Watkins in the minds of | his friends, | Me had been warned by Judge Graney that Watkins would try to “pack” the | Sheriff's office with his friends on the Hight of the primary, ‘nls had been the usual method ployed by Dun- lavey when opposition to Watkins | Drun! were usu | opposition dissolute, dangerous men on hand to overawe the ne Judge told of instances’ in which gunplay had developed, But Hollis had determined thas Watking must be beaten, A Wadia, (To Be