The evening world. Newspaper, November 23, 1912, Page 8

{ 4 cee aoe ee i ay OD : E v éni m4 Che Seer world. ESTABLISHDD BY JOSHPH PULITZMR. DI eh: it Sunds by the Press Publiantt Cc Nos 33 os St una Rom Optom PUIAT SRN, Frecident, 6a Ps A S SHAW, Treasurer, 63 Park iw, JOSEPH PULITZHR,' Jr. Secretary, 63 Park Row. Mattei ntinent and All Countries in the International Postal Union, » $976 6 Entered Subscription ‘World for the end Canada, One Tear. .ccoses One Months. eoers VOLUME 68.. 0} One Year., .80|One Month. + NO, 18,720 GETTING TO HEAVEN. | T: PREACHER who “wants the old eainte and pewholders to stay at home ¢0 that he may have room for the children” | speaks more wisely than his brother who declares that chiil- | dren can well afford to miss ordinary school lessons “because they | don’t need them to get to heaven.” To miss religious teaching in some form or other ia a sad thing | for any child. To know something of the Bible is part of education. But the idea that heaven is won by prayer and fasting alone is a notion that the world haa gently but firmly and forever put asid Knowledge of God means to-day, if it means anything, knowledge of the surroundings and relations inthe midst of which God has set) human beings to live and work. The winning of heaven begins right here and now with the commonplace ways and means. Every b't/ of study and understanding of what used to be called profane know!- edge may become part of the service of God. Heaven is no longer the reward of faith and contemplation, Vet the preacher remember, that, and ask himself whether he can be so sure the Lord fa with him in despising “secular matters.” | ih wate | Im spite of His Honor The Mayor's continual self deprectation, we strafl insist that he Is an ornament to bis sex, a thing of beauty and a jey forever! ++ | WORSE AND WORSE. | HE New York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad is losing} [ friend after friend. On what is said to be the first occasion of | ita ever denouncing a public service corporation the Yale| eellege paper, The Daily News, pitches into Mr. Mellen’s system in- @ ecathing editorial: Por years all Yale, with the public at large, has endured in humble silence the greedy selfishness and ineffictency of the New York, New Haven and Hartford Railro: It ts high time that public sentiment be aroused against that corporation. With serious disre- gard for the comfort and safety of its passengers, it has climbed the steps of monopoly to a throne of railroad dictatorship in this section of the country, and the public {s entirely at its mercy, Its antiquated wooden cars, {ts forlorn equipment, its miser- able service, brand the New Haven road, the only road between two of our largest cities, as among the least efficient tn the country. . . * The danger of travelling on this road has become | so real that one cannot undertake a Journey to New York without | a shudder, 6 | These words come from the heart, and doubtless voice the senti- ments of hundreds of Yale undergraduates who come over to New York regularly each week for church, usually arriving early Saturday evening to be in ample time—to say nothing of others who travel to this city to pursue the atudy of English drama during the week. What’s the use of giving Mr. Mellen honorary degrees for distin- guished services as a railroad president if he can’t even provide a eafe common carrier hetween New Haven depot and the Grand Cen- tral? In the course of shamefully neglecting what should be one of the best railroads of the country he may yet seriously impede the rid Daily Magazine, Satur |Why Not? Copyright, 1912, by The Pree Pablishing Ce, (The New York Evening World), OR PULLMAN BERTHS 7 WHY NOT? * WHY Nor FoR THE KITCHENETTE: Vorvw Wi CLOSED | peENTY or Room on CEILING INSTEAD oF CHAIRS FOR SMALL Rooms, NOT ¢ AFTER USING a The Jarrs Can't Solve the Servant Problem. But It Solves the Jarrs| ay. Novembe i from the sweetness of balsam, Copyright, 1912, by Tho Pree Publishing Co, (The New York Bveniag Word.) my Daughter, I have told thee how the Southern Man and thq Northern Man resemble one another in the ways of their wooing! even though their WORDS may differ as the sweetness of .e:gnoliag Yet, hearken further, for the similarity ceaseth not with the proposal, | Mark, oh, Creduious One, how the two compose a LETTER, For the Southern Man covereth ma ny peges with a flowing hand. | But the Northern Man covereth HALF.a-page with a precise hand. | and countiesa fine phrases, which MEA Yet, in the end, the one hath written as much as the other. The Southern Man aprinkleth his missive with much flattery and poetry, N nothing. But the Northern Man writeth with exceeding great Carefuiness, sayings “ Business-is-good-thesweatheris-fine-howis-Mary-do-you-like-Caruso-give my-lovesto-the-poodie.” Yet, im the end, neither letter wil! Promise sust, 1 be found negotiable in a breach-oft | For, verily, verily, every man holdeth a woman Guilty of matrimonial | designs, until she proveth herself Innocent. And the Artful Dodger was not more subtle than one of these. Yet, Beloved, if it conath to pase that the Southern Man is rejected, he cimeth: “Alas, my life ie wrecked! But, if the | mightity, sayin “Ah, very well! And he gocth forth and buyeth himself a cocktatl. Northern Man receive | blonde, or brunette, or henna. Southerner shall exclaim unto the Nor my heart.” (For he prideth himself mightily |hath been shatterca.) And the Northerner shall sigi “She is a Girl-l-Used-to-Know. | And they shail smile one at the o |cheer, and touch flagons, saying: “Her's how!” For, in the heart of a woman, th forever. } But, in the heart of a man, all the an old fame! Seian, | pan The Wee remarked the head “tha: philanthropic spendthrift, Andrew Carnegie, has saved the na- tion. But I don't see that his offer to penston the Presidents of the United States has impelled the people to hold mass meetings and build bonfires.’ My heart is broken! And he goeth forth and buyeth himself a julep, 1am undone, forever.” th his conge, he controlleth himself Even as thou sayest, oh, Lady mine.” | Yet, after three weeks, they shall BOTH have found “Consolation"— Likewise, if after many years, thou shouldst meet them together, the therner: “Lo, she is an old sweetheart of mine, who threw me over, and broke upon the number of times his heart ther in perfect friendliness and good © ashes of gead love may smoulder, four winds of heaven cannot dlow wm k’s Wash By Martin Green, en aaa right, 1912. bs The Prees Pabtishing Co, (The New York Evening World), wish they'd give Miss Strachan §100,000 if they want to, Sh bright, eapable woman and has 4 a bt for the Women school teachers. But the thing has » strange angle to me. “Miss Strachan, although employed by the Department of Education, 1s @ leb- acquirement of learning at one of our oldest universities. Y vs. which Was mewing pitifully on the[ nounced first, “Uncle Henry's valise| tablecloth, Had this been a moving “Mr. Carnegie any \ [re escape. gone!” she announced a moment| picture play instead of @ tragedy from and men of his] a | vie Jarry raised the window and tet Le ; sea Mr, | Ural Me in Harlem the note whieh Me. wa) Meas pieee eee he cat in, playfully try o close the} “An elopement in high life!” crled Mr. | Jarr picked " ‘ laundry man, Canny Mr. Carnegie meres ian off Page is aan lad Window downtCn nev Mr. Jarr lt] Jarr, assuming a xnock dramatic att!-| been fashed Hy arenas Men aa, ‘doubtless themseives why the adnan tie eee saat taxes thinks to put a bit of it back In a pension for ex- the gas and Mrs, Jarr went from room | tude he glanced at it and handed it to Mrs,|£0clallat vote keeps growing. Mr. An- pitt; and the women teachers want to Presidents, But as the late Artemas Ward loved to say: “We can't to roo: ‘Then, for the first time, he noticed | Jarr, It read as follows drew Carnegie is one of the answers |pay ner for tt, aml the wi int to tee It In those lamps. ‘Gertrude's things are gone! a noto pinned: to the centre of the!’ Mr, and Mrs, Jarre I have ex: [And his tactless, impudent manner Oflare gli in favor of the gL | _—2$2——___—_— | A CHINESE LOCK-UP. RE the Chinese humorists? “The best in the world,” declares ‘a consul who has just come back from China, and he gives an example to prove it, Nine vagabonds were caught ihe job of petty thieving about the eensal’s howe in @ small Chinese town where he happened to be staying. Tho only local policeman discoverable was summoned to take charge of them. As the town possessed no lock-up and appar- ently no locks the consul was sceptical as to the potency of justice. But the policeman took charge of the lot and returned in fifteen minutes, alone, with the announcement that the prisoners were safe, “But where?” said the consul. “There is no place to shut them up.” “Not shut up. In air. But no got away grinned the police- man. “Come see?’ Whercupon he led the way to a field where the astonished consul beheld the nine prisoners joining hands in a circle and dancing around a tree, singing the while at the tops of their voices. “But they'll run away,” exclaimed the consul, “Look hands,” said the policeman, The whole circle was neatly handcuffed together, And the jailer made his prisoners dance incessantly to keep them from any bination tree-climbing. “Which | wish to remark, And my language is plain, \ That for ways that are dark, | And for tricks that are vain, The Heathen Chinee !s pecullar.” trecta. One perl ny a friend, 1 The Kind He Was. Sritehvar sk aici ee “Hello, Mike! What are you doing there!’* , ANY fonay things happen in the courtroom. ) io on iy viel, looked uy and ahd ‘the change of Killing another negro tm the| smilingly; founty Sait, “Oh, 1 thought 1 would work while 1 was idle," “What kind of @ man was this man you killed?’ | — Popular Magazine, the negro was asked, “Well, ah, d'lieve me,” raid the witness, " + scl la Money Well Spent. RTHUR BLANCHARD, who epeods much | of ‘le time travelling over the oountey for the government, wee seated behind « bride aud groom tn @ Pullman car one afternoon When the (role woot thoough @ long ¢ it emerged into the Mat of day the bride w grevldng desperntely at her hat end fighting three fet rounds with one or two hairying which hed become loosened, In onder to relieve the situation aud inject some Larmlom conversation into the gap, Blawed. end remarked; “"Phia tunnel cost $12,000,000."" ." ead the bride edall. ignoranomous, pusillanimove al. eigies Dea Just for Recreation. OLPH B, ATHERTON, Secretary of the thority on good stories, He tells “During a coal strike ta Scranton, Ps, many minem were idle, and the city authorities, tal {ng advantage of the fact, had a lot of work done putting in sworn, paring streets and laying wines underground. An old Irishman by the name Gt Mike Dooley hed been employed in the mines, Pub took @ temporary job digging aiteha in the Ny, it wae ws . co. | aright, 1VI2, by The 1 vy 4 Puvlislung (Toe New York “byening World), HEN Mr, and Mrs. Jarr came up W the strect bringing the children home from an enjoyable even-| ing at an adjacent moving picture| show, discussing what films they liked | and what ones they didn't like, | Mrs. | Jarr was first to sense something wrong as she looked up at the dark windows of their apartment. “L feel as though something dreadful g has happened!” she remarked, “How gloomy everything looks “Did you expect an illumination in honor of our return?” asked Mr, Jarr “If T understood you correctly, Gertrude has gone to the opera, or Jersey City, , or somewhere, this evening. I have my | latchkey. We're all right.” H “But Uncle Henry should be home,” said Mrs. Jarr, “and as he doesn't have to pay the gas bills he gener the lHghts lit all over the flat. “He's gone to bed, most likely, tured Mr. Jarr, “Don't worry and get a} wrinkle.” H ‘It worry gave me wrinkles, my skin would be like corduroy," murmured Mrs. Jarr, as the head of the house fumbled with the latehkey. “I've a premonition something has happened Mrs, Jarr's premonition cashed for je flat wae empty even of the Sizing It Up. { eeven)- Way #he cussed, Jus’ like a man after-{ cite’! MN: (ustiing the w An’ Rex did it ‘cause his papa paper importantly). i tol’ him to, good to know that the twen-| Mr. B. (sternly), William you are not | ven: | Mrs. B, (sympathetically), Well, {t's| all suffragettes ought to be stoned in} ally has) very sad to me. public. An’ there wuzn't any stones Mr. B. (pompously). Of course, it's| round handy, in public, eo Rex took a sad, It's always sad when a person, couple of bricks an'— *{uutnking of the women who have to|cause you wuz such a great politician, | Domestic Dialogues ‘ By Aima Woodward Leen nana nnn nA AAANAA AAAI PRRD PARADA DORAL LCOS, | Copyright, 1912, by The Proms Publiehing Co, (The New York Evening World.) ryday D ! | You know she was a suffragette? | cua, Deru ea Diplomacy! | pily| Billy (dramatically). Oo-o! By the! telling the truth! I know Mr. Johnson would punish Rex severly if he knew! he struck a woman, H Billy (wide-eyed). No, sir, Rex's mamg, she goes to meetings on the sly. An’ Rex's papa he found {t out an’ he sald she'd got to stop an’ he said he though: | ty-four men on those two jure les had the courage to return & verdict that landed those people. Talk about the famous mob rules of history! Why, they're not in it, by Jove, with what this town would have come to, {2 a short time, who doesn't realize the penalty, at the) Mrs. B. (severely). I don’i wish you to | time he commits the crime, ig made to, go with Rex any more! Do you hear suffer it. But, by George, what are you,|me, William? Any boy who will throw going to do about it? Is the government things at a woman ‘sn’t fit company for to be overthrown? Is the civilization you, we've built up in this country to totter, Billy (meekly) and fall before our very eyes? Is | Mr. B, (sharply) [Mra Be nervously). Oh, no, indeed! | minute No, indeed, 1 know it's right that they | Billy (slyly), T heard ma say the should be punished, but I can't help| reason she wuzn't a suffragette wuz be- TYes'm. Billy, go to bed this) | suffer by 1t—perhapa innocently. pa; an’ she sald she thought a man as} Mr. B. (impatiently), Now, for good- flerce and smart as you wuz, pa, wus 8’ sake, don’t pull that old one about more'n one family's share. Mr. B. (softly). Did she say that dear? Billy (smugly). Yes. Did'n’ yuh, ma? Mrs, B, (hesitating). Well, 1 don’s | now whether— | BNly (heading her off), Yes yuh did, ma, An’ you sald yuh knew pa didn’t want yuh to be one an’ you wuz per- fectly happy in your home lite an'— Mr. B. (patting Mrs. B, affectionately), Well, that was very lovely of mother to say that, wasn’t It, son? BNly (appropriately beatific). Yes, it jae always the woman who has to! pay! We were only too giad to grant! |you that tn former years, We let you }pay and then we let you boaat about it! | But now that you want to butt into poll- tics and howl from the tail end of wagons along with the men, we'll lot you pay and then Keep quiet about it, ‘just as we men have been doing all these years, See? | Mrs, B. (helpless! Ob, Sam, how! jyou do talk! You know I haven't got cepted a posishun in the country and may marry a rich gentleman If his wife dies, Send my trunk and what you owe me to my married sister in Jersey City, Hoping thes few lines will find you well with grate speck, Excuse halst and a bad pen, GERTRUDE, Mra, Jarr began to cry. “That's what that old wretch, Uncle Henry, came here for!” she cried, “ince the stocking factory started in Hay Corners Aunt Hetty can't get a rvant girl! That's what one gets for being nice to relatives!” “Well, don't worry about it.” ssid Mr. Sarr soothingly. “You have been ning about Gertrude for some “You've got to complain! whimpered Mra. Jarr, “If you don't complain they think you are pleased with them and can’t get along without them, But to think that girl would use me like this! She might have stayed till T got some one in her place! I had a chance to get a good girl last week, but ehe coukin't wet away from the place she had til! her month was up. I Intended not to say a word to Gertrude till I gave her her money and let her go. And now look how she's used me—leaving without notice!” . “T heard you the other day you couldn't put up with Gertrude any more,” said Mr. Jarr. “You eaid you could get all the maids you wanted.” “So T could hi then,” sniffed Mrs. Jarr, “But now it's getting near Chriet- mas and girls won't leave their places tM they get thelr Christmas gtft: “Well, we won't have to get Gertrude a Christmas gift,” euggested Mr. Jarr. “We'll have to give a new girl even handsomer Christmas gifte so she'll think {t's a nice place and stay a week longer in hope of getting something for New Year Oh, dear! Oh, dear!" ‘Then Mrs, Jarr turned upon Mr. Jarr and sald bitterly: “Your people are all like that! Your |so0 very much sympathy with the moves | |ment. Billy, go to bed. It's after elght. Billy (expostulatin Ob, Ma, the wuz, pa, Cn I have @ plece uv candy pa? Mr. B. (indulgently). Why ys [Mttlé hand ain't even slipped off'n tho eight yet! Can't | | Mrs. B. (sternly), Billy, mother told vou to go to bed H Mr. 1, (firmly), Billy, do as. your mother tells you. | Biny chaving a great idea). 1 know {my ma ain't a suffragettes, pa. rr Mra. B. (amased), Why, how do you, Van Broke has looked Up MY! i iow anything about suffragettes, dear? financial standing. Do you suppose; ¢ means to propose to my daugh- eee “Not necessarily. i shopping. Billy (wisely). Oh, 1 know ail about ‘em all right, Rex Johnson fired a couple j uy bricks at one uv ‘em the other night, Maybe he's only om the corner. | Mrs. B, (aghast), Wha @low did tthe little 8 goin’ to oni Won't hurt you, T guess, darling. annexes the largest these snd curls up piece Bitty away, ma? Mra. B. (gently) lave a treat to-nl, up a half hour longer. Della (who has deen Iistening behind the door), Well, the Uttl, murtherts brat! An’ the missus havin’ meeti right here in her self-same house, right! under the master's nose, al: Shure, y a fine polly tictan, he s ‘to . Billy Cnunching), Do I go to bed right! just be Well, 1 guess we'll) wi Uncle Henry is stingy, treacherous, de- cettful"— “He's your uncle, not mine!” Mr, Jarr One| declared. “After this he's YOUR uncle. I dis- own him!" retorted Mra, Jarr. “And use of that, you can go to the agenctes and get me another girl, I nt a neat, quiet girl who fs a good at and let you stay} cook and general houseworker and who comes well recommended a! ow stop right there!” exclaimed Mr. “1'| stay home and do the house- You go around the agencies and get @ girl, Never again for me: And he was @o firm about it that Mrs. Jarr dried her tears and resolved to at- tend to the matter herself, distributing his bloated fortune ts an- other answer. “Nobody but Andrew Carnegie would have the supreme gall to offer to pen- sion the Presidents of the United States. Thus far none of our ex-Presidents has dled in the poorhourse or spent his de- clining days panhandling in the public streets, If it be true that the expenses of the President are in excess of his salary and he makes a financial sacr!- ce in serving a four-year term, we have a Congress to take care of that aspect of the eltuation. i ‘Certainly the people are not golng to stand for Andrew Carnegie's money | supporting the President of the United | States after his term has expired, And j I don't believe we will ever have a President who would také Andrew Car- negie's pension, or a pension from any other millionaire, for that matter. “Senator Elthu Root, a wise man, who sees ahead, told a gathering of million- aires Thursday night that ‘there are hundreds of#thousands of people who belleve the manufacturers of the coun- t © a set of confidence men.’ The Senator didn't go far enough. There ts general belief that the men who make swollen fortunes out of manufactures, railroada, banks and corporations gen- erally are all thiev “There is no prejudice In this country against men who make money. We ad- mire rgen who make money. But w ¢ dow admire men who amex Mphey unfair means—by gouging the people under the protection of a tariff or by stifling competition through combina- ttona, “The people know how Andrew Carne- ste got hia money. They are pretty Well posted on how hundreds of other millionaires are getting their money. Fortunes hatched by privilege are re- “When it was reported recently that Police officers were raising a fund to be pad to a lobbyist in Albany there was a roar from the women's clubs that sound- er like a high wind blowing through a million telegraph wires. If the firemen assessed themselves to pay a lobbyist who had done work for them there would be close to a civie earthquake, Any male city employees who might try to reward a ‘obbyist would soon find themselves about three Jumps ahead of ® warrant. But for women city em- Ployees to assess themselves for a hand- out to thelr lobbyist te S'funny worlay’ oa Get It Straight, Man! BEB," eaid the head polisher, “that another millionaire's sen or show g! married a miliionaire’s son.” Pesci ls abl No Flies on Bohemia. Ts Consulate has from time to time receive’ letters from manue facturers of various sorts of fly paper in the United States why wish to extend thelr trade. These letters have been fully answered, giving the names and addresses or local dealers, and also the various sorts of American and other fly paper aold here, It {s not possible to work up an exe tensive trade in Bohemia, as there are not suffictent files to exterminate, In most of the dining-rooms during the course of @ meal perhaps three or four files appear during the season. In rese taurants there are very few files, Here screen doors to keep out files warded with suspicion, And suspicion may soon give Way to anger and re- sentmont, Andrew Carnegie's offer of $%,(00 a year pension to the President of the United States Is going to have a wider influence than he dreams of.” jand other insects are unknown, The | Dulldings are all constructed of brick, stone or concrete. The docks along the river front are of granite, The paves ments and sidewalks are made of gran blocks, There are no wooden sides stairw; or buildings in the Decayed vegetable or antmal matter is not openly exposed to files, i Yes, and Then Again— 6s LL," said the head polisher, }and the streets are frequently cleaned how about the female | during each day, There are no open school teachers who are drains in the city to attract and breed ratsing a purse of $50,000 to be presente? to Miss Grace Strachan?” ‘Fox mine,” said the laundry man, “I | flies. I can only ascribe the absence ef }flies to the lack of breeding plac Consular Report, 4