The evening world. Newspaper, October 26, 1912, Page 7

t 5 | SWAT MILLIGAN MAKES CONFESSION THE EVENING WORLD, SA SWAT MILLIGAN’S CONFESSION ILLUSTRATED TURDAY, OOTOBER 26, 1912. NEWS OF ALL BRANCHES OF SPORT Copyright, 1912, by The Press Publishing Co. (The New York World). waa! BY cRackyll JEST REFUSED A CONTRACT To PLAY FER STAHL - BY Gum! AN “ArTeR SEEM THE WILLow SWAMP LEAGUE IN ACTION Se ne = = = a = —— <=] = —— — < ae) AARITING FROM HOME, THAT HIS MISTAKES BEAT GIANTS ‘eerless Hitter Admits |“Open Throttle” Pete’s Locomotive Ball] Story of How Biff With Block Signal] Ashwood “Cleaned Switch Was Danger- Up” on Him for the ous to Use in That| NettleRashes Makes j p Poison Oaks’ Hero Final Game Consid- See Possible Reason ering That Boston for Batting Rall Batters Wore Red aT tal Ga Adin of Red Sox Against Belts and Stockings.! Matty. BY SWAT MILLIGAN, The Peerless Hitter of the Poison Oaks. Bobbletown, Mo., Oct. 26. BIN’ as me and Mac fell down in the world’s series, I reckon it's up to me to write in an’ tell you New York fans about the things that have been runnin’ through my mind since I got back to Bobble- town and have had time to think.| The people around here didn't pay} much ‘tention to the games between the Red Sox and the Giants because | they didn’t take it seriously, After! seein’ the Willow Swamp League in| action it’s naturally mighty hard for them to git worked up over your games in the East. I know how you fellows feel about | it, though, and I feel lke you are | blamin’ me for not bringin’ Mac in| a winner. There ain't no question! but what we give ‘em a tough battle | all the way through, and next time | we are goin’ to do better. You know, I was rushed into that thing all of a sudden like, and didn't have much time to git the dope fixed ex-| 1ctly like me and Mac wanted to. Now that I've got back to Bobble- town and have been ‘tendin’ to my) : ploughin’ it's give me @ chance to| o™ + sal reflect. It only goes to show that it takes time to tackle a big job. Knowin’ that I can make good If my plans are laid with care, I will an- ounce right now that next season I'm goin’ to start right out in the oring and take them young fellows in hand from the start. In a few onths they ought to be workin’ like a clock, ILL LOOK THEM OVER EARLY NEXT SEASON. I had a letter from Mac last week, and he {s urgin’ me to come on to New *k to see him act in the opery ‘house and put him onto some of the tricks t knocks foiks out of their seats, If I can git my ploughin’ done to-day I'm a’ to make the trip, and bring along a set of sleuths that 1s wise to every nkle. As I said before, I've had time to think things over in @ calm, deliberate Gispassionate way, as they say in the courts, and I've jes’ begin to realize @ of the angles that we overlooked in our haste 't may not appeal to your way of thinkin’, but we should have paid more mtion to the uniforms that the players wore. The colorin’ scheme in base- togs mighty often has important bearin’ on the result. Would you believe rat me and Mac didn’t think for one minute about them Sox uniforms a’ red fixin'’s on them? That may be the secret of how they won, but it t cross my mind till I got back here to Bobvietown and talked to old Open ‘tle Pete, the famous pitcher from Catfish Shoals, who doped out the loco- —e ball. taiN THROTTLE PETE THERE WITH AN IDEA. i nd you, I ain't pertendin’ to say that the color of them Roston stock- PE nd dolls decided the world’s werles, but I am firm in the belief that tt Me: mighty important bear Niwas settin’ on my front porch when Open Throttle Pete came along, and Lf tookin’ at me for a minute he leaned his head to one side and said: ofiwat, did you take into mind the color of ,them baseball clothes before ut the Eastern Secret Service men on the job?’ Alyat's right, they was red, wasn't they, stockin's and belt?” I said, hen Open Throttle Pete up and laughed uproariously. Of’ Jes" bet that’s how they skinned you," he declared. don't remember how they put me out of b Piday by wearing red stockin's and red belts’ sight then I got to thinkin’, and I set down and wrote to Mac. wat day In Catfish Shoals a long time ago there was much excitement. ®t mnrottie Pete, bein’ an inventor, had designed a ball known as the hoco- Me ball, It was so arranged that It was set with a full fixin’ of block slg- and for takin’ curves. He had a lot of Httle secret valves hid in between fatitches in the ball, and by pressin’ these he could make the ball take any of a curve that he wanted to. Just for @ novelty he ala had a valve, which fed on th block signals and would make the ball come to a dead stop if was any danger. you know, the ey bad a terrible nit “IT reckon, Swat, iness down at Catfish Shoale ettle Rashes always wore red stockin's and red belts. r by the name of Bf Ashwood, and, naturally, Open Mttle Pete was layin’ to Kit him the first time he cone up @© this day Pete maintains that where he made his mistake tn tnventin’ eq bell was in goin’ too far and installin’ the block signals. ‘or the first three inuin's Pete had his locomotive ball workin’ fine. It would curves and wind around them batters’ necks till they was half crazy. In Gays, you know, @ good batter Uke Biff and me didn’t come up UM there “TOUCHED THE BLocK #* So THAT HIS FINGER. Sena valve. BY MISTAKE” Wouldn’t You Gladly Give $550,000 for One Square Meal? “Diamond Jim’’ Did Autos and Horses Are Fine, Theatres Are Grand, Diamonds Are a Joy, BUT, Declares Rejuvenated Epicure, ““Give Me Some Frogs’ Leg: When “Diamond Jim” Brady got a telegram to-day from Dr. Hugh Young of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Balti- more saying best regards and felicita- tions of the season and, by the way, thanks awfully for that $550,000 gift to the hospital announced yesterday, he wired back succinctly: “Don't mention it. My returned abil- Ity to appreciate the Joys of living makes us square!” ‘Then he swung around in his swivel chair, sent a boy out with the m sage and explained to an Evening World reporter just what the joys of living might be to a man who neither drinks, smokes nor chews end has lived a life free from vices. Bolled down into a few words the idea of the prinnacle of earthly joys possessed by Mr. James Buchanan Brady—it's hard to say whether he's noted most as a trencherman, a dia- mond connoisseur who has bought a half million dollars’ worth of gems Just because he likes to have them lying around, an invariable first nighter, a non-bibbling bon vivant, a capitalist with all sorts of money where he can get it quick, or ae the man who once raced those whirlwinds of the turf Gold Heels and Major field—that {dea is: “Good things to eat and lots of them; right of way for them in the digestion department and plenty of room inside." Also it developed that one of the minor joys of life, in Mr. Brady's ¢s- timation, 1s walking; and he's been trying ever since he bought his first motor car to dodge a conscientious chauffeur who has always managed to be: waiting for him with the tonneau door invitingly open and a compelling look in his flerce eyes. HE WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITHOUT CANDY. But for all his cure—brought about by @ four-month stay in Johns Hopkins Hospital, six amall experimental oper- ations and one large final one—there ts one joy of life that “Diamond Jim” can never taste again, Didactical doctors have told him he must eschew sweets, and the big man who used to eat from three to six pounds of candy every day doesn't believe he can ever be en- tirely happy without It, “Look at me carefully, young man,” said the King of Diamonds, hoisting himself from the swivel chair, appar ently by tugging at a heavy wat chain which came to a glorious climax in a diamond-studded locket, “If you've ween me in the old days you can’t fall to nee I've become a comparative sylpn, » Done toa Turn!”’| THAT Hyars wHaR | Foo. OLD OPEN-THROTTLE-PETE, Got DING (Tr! @ Birr THEN yumpen out or THE BATTERS BOK AND CRACKED PILL, WHILE (TWAS STANOIN' OTL “OVER TAT FENCE THRowIN' ouT STEAM ° AND WHISTLIN' To BRAT — “TRIS. SPEAKER WORK @RED BELT ——+ — ¢ —— 5 | JAME, : BUCHANA! oe Ciemond dir) BRADY THE THINGS TO EAT THAT || J.B. BRADY LOVES MOST. || CANDY—FIVE POUNDS & DAY— but that’s taboo. |] sorr smxux cmass. SHEIMPS. WELSH RARQBITS. || Bacazgors, GOLDEN BUCKS. BLUEPOINTS, with Worcester- shire, tabasco, parika, catsup and | mustard. | Well, sir, 1°) bet any amount I don’t weigh over 220, and I haven't weighed | myself since before breakfast! That's | some come down from 26 or 900! What? | “I'm not much of @ story-teller—un- jleas the stories are about steel cars ‘and raiiroads and such like, maype— | but I suppose the best way to tell my tale, so you can get a right Line on why [1 think it's good to be alive and well again, is to start at the beginning. | “In te frat pl the very first place I can start at—I was born right ere in New York City, down tn Cedar street. That was in—well, more taan fifty years ago. The first habit I got |was ‘the habit of drinking water Mother said to me one t I nover knew any one to get in trouble drin [ing wat I took the hint | 1 never tasted a drop of Mquor in my Jute, and never had a c cigarette, the stem of a pipe or a bit of tobacco [or tobacco smoke in my mouth. Why, was somethin’ dotn’. Nelther one of us never butted till the bases were full. Long in the fifth innin’ the Nettle Rashes got thre; men on the bases, and Biff Ashwood picked up his big stick and come to the plate, Open Throttle Pete set himself to g! be done by pressing a little valve under the marked stitches, started to throw. “Wateh out!" yelled Biff, This kinder startled Open Throttle “I'm goin’ to pickle this on ive Biff the old neck curve, which could He wound up and Pete, and the ball twisted in his hand eo that his finger touched the block #@gnal valve by mistake, He turned loose the ball and it steamed up to within three fect of the plate when it seen that red belt around Biff Ashwood's waist. that ball come to @ full stop at what jumped out of the batter's box and cra Bein’ thoroughly made ker signal. if then ot WAS standin’ still emed ike a eked that pill wh It went ike a bullet, and sailed over that fence throwin’ out steam and whivtlin’ to beat the band, I don't know how many runs they did score, but the of them and wor the champtenahip. way, but when I am I ain't sayin’ mighty strongly the Sox won that reminded of the fact Nettle Rashes pat over think of tt now T am that it looked like Trig Speaker, who ore a red bely) shot one settin' im thas Apes tenth, | | He’s Glad to Give His “«Mite’’—a Fortune—| for a New Stomach, and | He'll Obey All the| Rules but One—He Must Have Seven Gal- lons of Water a Day. it would fairly. ruin a man's taste #0 he couldn't enjoy his feed. HI8 MAIN FUN HAS BEEN FOOD, HE DECLARES. “I never have been exactly what you'd call an athlete, and I've taken most of my pleasure indoors. And when you figure over the lst of indoor sports that I never join in, it's easy to see my main fun has been food, “Now I've alw felt. pretty well and fit, but gosh! those doctors told me I'd been # sick man for the last twenty years! When I dropped into Baltimore last summer I had @ eue- picton that there was a little some- thing wrong with me, I found 1 would have to stay there for a while as Vice- President Brady of the Standard Steel Car Company, so I thought I'd drop around to the hospital and have them look me over, Just as @ matter of caution, that was, and to hear them say: ‘Why, Brady, you're the healthiest | specimen we've ever had here. What ever scared you into coming to @ hos- pital? Get out!’ “But they didn't. This Dr. Younk— and I want to say right here that he's the best doctor in the world, and « young man, at that—looked me over and got pale. ‘Well,’ I aid, ‘Don't worry (f you can't find anything wrong with me. I'm not #0 eure myself.’ “Mr. Brady,’ he answered very jselemnly, “you're @ sick man. You've | been aick for twenty years and you can | thank your stars you've come here now. | I don't think we'll be able to let you out again for three da: “He wi & most conservative easti- mator, this Dr. Young. He kept me there for four months, all told. “About the first thing they asked me was how muoh water I drank. I told) them anywhere from el#ht to ten gal- lons a day and repeated my mother's) remark, They told me my limit would | be four gallons for the rest of my life. | But I've fooled ‘em, young man, They "t watch me any more now, and I'm! raising my limit gradually. Right now) I drink six gallons a day, and next) week I'll probably stretoh tt to seven, QUIZZED AS TO HIS DISSIPA- TION IN THE PABT, “Next thing they wanted to know was what were my dissipattons, I told | em liked good candy and used up four | or five pounds a day, The doctors looked at me sharp to see tf I was fool- ing them. When they decided 1 wasn't stringing they told me I'd have to atop eating candy. | ‘And now,’ said one of the doctors, ‘tel un about your yreal dissipationa How much do you drink a day? How much of aleoholic Iquors, 1 mean? I told him I never touched a drop—not even coffee or tea, If It came to that. The doctor seemed worried. ‘Then you must smoke a great deal? he suggested. ‘Not a whiff,’ T aid. | You chew, then, pemapa?’ he went on, I could see he was hopeful and I really hated to disappoint him by say- ing 1 atdn't | “ ‘For a sick man, Mr. Brady,’ he ‘you certainly have mighty ‘Kood 8. You're the first man I ever saw in 4 hospital who neither drank nor used tobacco,’ ‘He went ahead and told me how k I was-waid if matters had run along | wouldn't have been able to eat more than a teaspoonful at a time. That worrted me and 1 told them to go ahead Where would the joy of lyin have been then? I could have looked my «amonda when I fe Mungry or have Kone to @ good restaGrant and Watched, 4 Man with @ good stomach esting, ¥nd maybe have a thimbleful of ‘ CONNIE MACK’S TIPS HELPED SOX TO BEAT GIANTS, SAYS WAGNER. Heinle Wagner, captain of the work champions, who did such remarkable playing in the recent series between the Red Sox and the Giants, paya a high compliment to Connie Mack of the Athletics, who he claims was in a large meagure responsible for the Boston team's victory over Johnny McGraw's men, us know how we had to play the antes in order to beat them. He told us more in ten minutes than all our scouts iscoverea by watching the team for several water and a alice of bread; tgp there's no peal fun in that, “One thing | was thankful thought they'd punish me by lelding me to eat red meat. And they never guesse) that I don't like red meat, any- how! THE JOYS OF LIFE SUMMED UP IN ONE WORD—FOOD. ‘I'm well again now, and, barring the absence of candy from my menu—whie goes hard—I am going along on the old scale, enjoying life. You can put the joys of life all into one word, If you want to--FOOD! Old Horace iMetcher, who talks #9 much about chewing every mouthful thirty-two times, once de- scribed the great Joy he gat trom chew- ing @ single bean after fasting for sev- eral days. But that wouldn't do for me, I not only want food, but I want lots of it. I don't give @ hang for fancy French names, but 1 do like Kood cook- ing—-whether it 4s French, or German, or Italian, or Fussian, or Spanish, They EDITED BY ROBERT EDGREN WUIRPA WURPA! HERE BE'S 8OMH HUSTLING among the Tammany braves all over the T olty to get into proper rigs for the great Wilson and Marshall parade te be and good-natured burg of ours. Whisper, if © Tammany man wants to parade he wants to be properly’ dolled up—yea, deedy, And there is no gingerbread stuff in their outfit. Mark ye, Bul, thie to be the layout, on plans and specifications mapped out by Milly Hanna, M York's best dressed politician: High Dicer. Prince Albert Suits. Puce Tice, four-in-hands with green stripes and ne “rooks” in the scarfpins. ‘Mauve Spate. Patent Leather Lace-Ups. Undressed Multinger Gloves, ‘Whitethorm Saplings, Oh, they’ have rings on their fingera and belie on their—— Bom whato? But, say, stranger, the best is yet to come. 8 Charles F. Murphy !s to walk at the head of the line, what I'm tellin’ you {# inside stuff. And I'll be on the edge of the curb to ee him pass by in his grandeur and glory, and we'll all sing as he sweeps dowm the Av‘noo: Did ye eee Charley Murphy in his grand new high plug hat? Arrah, 4id yo see him march along like « bowld aristocrat? Ob, the Indies clapped their hands in glee, the children yelled tyetr joys, As the Silk Tile Bose of Tammany paraded with the boys. Now, then, again—all together, boys: “DIG ye ee Chariey"—— But I'd have to keep It up forever. So I'll wait for the big day. HE BIG HUNT FOR A WHITE HOPE js all over. The Great I White Hunter Pommery Bob Ver- non has called off the quest. Bob has been on the trail ever since the Fourth o' July two years ago, when Mistoh Jack Johneing slammed Jamen J. Jef- fries all over the conk and the kiscus in the ring at Reno. “I've made six trips to Europe,” sald Bob to me last night. “I went to what- ever place I heard of a White Hope. I wanted to dig up some hugky walloper to flatten out the Big Bl Man that had put the comether on my good old pal Jeff. I searched that land of fight- ers, Ireland, but couldn't find @ heavy- loud noise there just a over the United Stat but not one of the so-called Hopes up with my idea of what was to trim the Big Smoke, I was going te start out om another tour, but fortes ely thie is not necessary now. J son has been lashed by outraged pu! opinion so 1 Is no I a subject for contemplation by cent-minded man. So I'm out of it 3 think Jeff is avenged. Let's have @ ‘shock,’ Wurra, to celebrate it” A “shock” tn Bot’ rich fund of m phor is a pint o' pommery. Was there? re was, Y¥ ERUDITE YOUNG SIDE KICK, Miss Nizola Grestey-@mith, ts core Gig M traught over the problem she conjures daily in thie the greatest of af domestic newepapers—to wit, “What Makes a Happy Home? Aisiest thing in the world, Miss Nizola, etc. You can have a happy home when you have: First, the mazuma; second, the wife who emilee at you at door; third, the wife that doesn't growl when you're late for dinner; the wife that knows how to make that dinner so good thet it wilt make up all the cares and crosses and business bumps the poor depe at the head of house had to endure all day in his workshop or his office; doesn't rip the house apart from top to bottom every th freak furnishings in @ “model” flat in Riverside section where one hie parlor by lifting off the roof; sixth, the wife who doesn't al hubby how eich he'd be if he wasn't such e durned Boob; seventa, haa a dollar to slip over wien you're broke middle @' the week during this of hot political campaigns and box fights; elghth—— Cut out what? 1 should wurrat ie hit ii hax look at what their General Order No. % prescribes: You are hereby commanded to Te port to the fleet captain, Astor Houss, at 0.90 A. M., Gunday, Oot. 37, 1% for inspection and rill, immediately Preceding the annual fall manceuwes of the flying squadron, which salle for Bradley's Port Washington He tel, Long Island, at 10 A. M. HEY'RE GOING OUT TO-MOR- T ROW, so they are, an’ lordy knows what'll happen to the poor men. I refer to that Hope Fishing Club bunch who now hold the record for splicing the mainbrace held for so many years by the Jamaica Bay Yacht CAiD. ‘The Jamaica Bay fellows protest that the Hope Fishing Club stole marot on them to win the title—that the Hope| The purser will provide li f. oan There will be must, Ol; chaps kept hittin’ ‘er up for three ames and xem sem for straight days and nights and gave In| Oon-attendance will oy me dete on only when the supplies gave out. The! Groton water. Get ticket som Jamaica Bays keep agoin’ all the year] not later than Oct. 2%, 1912, 60 he can round, but they sleep it off on the rock-| arrange to fill canteens with the ing chairs between 1 and 8 every afters] Droper extract. Juat plain American. Most of I ike fea food, Clans and lobsters and oys- ters and fish without @hells. Take a nice planked bluefish. ‘That's the joy Of life act before you concretely. What difference does tt make to you while the fish is there—df the fish in a good one, mind you—if you are rich or poor, #0 long as you are ablei to eat It all and enjoy it and not fear any bad effects? “Joys of life, you say--theatros, valets, good clothing, plenty of diamonda, fine hotels, automobiles, #team yachts, pretty women, music, flowers, acenery? Pahaw! Why, @ man with a ‘bad stomach can enjoy that for all the amall joy It gives hin! But give me some frogs lems, done to a turn! Give me a flaxon of water and sone orangeade or sarsapa- rilla! Give me a good, fast, able walter! Give me-tut don’t let the doctor hear ‘of it~glve me a five-pound box of candy along with it! And there's the Joy of life for you. "L used to ke my race horses, 1 Mike my diamonds. T like my bust ness, Hut give me frogs’ legs. There's a treat! WANTS TO HAVE HIS CHAUF. FEUR AMPUTATED, “I like to walk, I lke to get out in the fresh air and breath tn lots of ft—ts filling in ft# way, But it's jom 1 get a chance to walk, Here New York my automobiles are al ways chasing me around, Whenever I step from my office or my house there is one of them waiting for n One chauffeur in particular haunts 1 I can't seem to escape him. Some 1 wish I never had bought my objle, ‘Then 1 could ha leament in th « would find it hrad to ‘ps some day when I can't Ket alofk without walk Ing any more, Um going to get in touch with Dr. Young and wee if 1| can't have that chauffeur amputated. There a to be other men| in my shoes, men without #0 | 1» morey nat's the reason Um | kiving my ‘nite to the hospital, They | dome there was no place where a] man can go ant have himself made] over so he can enjoy his food, So I decided there would be one in future The “mite” to which Mr. Brady re ferred is @ matter of $200,000 to be authorities for new buildings: $15,000 a year for maintenance as long as lives and an indefinite sum at ath, it may not amount in all, Dr, ing thinks, to more ther £650,000 but its not @ bad price after all for one stomach, ite sweat of all the joys of D, R. M. Sanderson, Fleet Captain; R. E. Enright, Commodore; Eéwin J. Buchanan, Purser. D'ye know I'd like « little of that zem myself. It must be the right if Dick Enright likes it, noon, The Hopes say that these two hours of rest break in on the souse and don't entitle the Jamaticas to hold a record as continuous dally performers. So here's “How’ to the Hopes. And HEN I TOLD tn t@is veractous column of the way that Dick Molloy, ée W clarion-volced booster of Battery Van's district, used to catch belied, living eels in the River Liffey as they came out in the hot porter leaking from Guinness's Brewery, I was called unpleasant names. But more remark- able fish than Molloy's eels are found in Lough Corrib in Galway. There le a trout hatchery there and the fellows in charge of it are Protestants who signed an anti-Home Rule petition. The natives of Galway don't know @ helluva let but they are hot for Home Rule. So the Oughterard District Council met with the intent to cut off the appropriation for the hatchery and thus put the {efte footers who signed the petition against Home Rule on the fritz, To do this they had to show that the trout being turned out by the hatchery were not up te the standard, and this ts how 1t was done in the Council—I quote from the Galway ‘Tribune Mr. James McDonagh said he spoke as a representative of the Corrib Fishermen's Union to let the Board know the way the busi- ness of the Hatchery was being carried out. Chairman—We will be glad to hear you, They mark the fish in the hatchery, and they caught none of them except a few that were not fit for the marke Mr. McDonagh, D. C.-T think that ts interfering too far with the work of nature. Mr, James McDonagh—Since this hatchery was established the fishing has gone down year by year, and no wonder, They take the fish into the pond and mark them; then they ave let down the river, and they are found dead In hundreds along the banks, and they get thelr balliffs to bury them with spades for fear they would be seen, ‘A member—There 1s something tn that, Mr. James McDonagh—The fish that don’t die, go mad. Some of them are caught up near Galway, and more of them at the mouth Maam River, and they are not Mke trout at all but like eels, y have nothing of @ trout except the head; even a rat would not look at them. How's that for genuine Irish invective? troute’ hesde em And of them go mad,” sez he, the Lord preserve me from a mad trout with an eel's body! Glory be tim Whew! Hels ‘em! * enough at appropriation was cut off by the Council, I se juare ot 8.—The hatchery's WURRA WURRA 80 and Queens #. Should [ike ta know name of achool | Don’t argue about tt. Pay, in New York City where Emay tase | The marriage of trumps has nothing a course in invertor decorating dure | to do with the sequen ing evening (not public # . is no authority only myaelg, Come down and dispute it with.me. Bm New York Is a busy © for interior |in training and need @ little exercise, decorating y take a course in x any ono of 160% palatial cafes. White * Hox Draw, | AKRON, 0., 0 ~In one of the KORGE FO HOLLOWAY AND] pest staged in thie, G OTHERS-—Once again, but never [Jack ¥ co and Joe Coster again, In auction pinochle the| New boxed a twelve-round drew nt oft nd up’ and 10 trumps| Prom start to finish it was @ f ts 3), The thr vrriages of outside! battle, each mms. standing up tr the sits count slaty, Tye trumps marriage and hammering away from Bing @, The sequengep# trumps 150, Kings gong. ry et dek ae 1 1 ee