The evening world. Newspaper, July 26, 1912, Page 10

Such Is Life! 3% (smack Boss | CAN'T WoRIT TODAY 1AM So SICK THE DocTor Too ME To STAY IW BSED ALL DAY ESTABLISHED BY JOSEPH PULITZER, es by the Preas Publishing Company, Nos, Peete Dany Beeeyt Park How, New York, R RAT LITZER, President, 63 Park Row. : J. KNGUS BITAW, reasurer, 63 Park Row, JOSHPH PULITZER, Ir. Secretary, 63 Park Row. ) ¥% By Maurice Ketten 1 WAS TELLING THE MAID NOT To Say Seuss w ed Ano Cant bee WYB00v IF WE Al 4 eal epee Bose ene WHILE 1AM AWAY. TO MANE ¢ ered at the Post-Office at New York as Gecond-Class Matter, Mebeoripon Rater to The Evening pHor Hovland. and « World for the United States and Caneda. 6 Continent and “AM Countrie Pos! + 88.80] One Year + 80] One Mon »NO. 18,601 : A FOOL AND HIS TIPS. F’: DOLLARS AND TEN CENTS for tips during twenty-four Copyright, 1912, by The Iress Publishing Co, (The New York World). OWADAYS love is a game of hide-and-seek in which the girt 4s When a man asks for your honest opinion of him any sweet old ie will do, hours spent in New York was how a man from the West fig-| ured it up. He was inclined to think it too much, It was. It was worse. Judging by his list it was sheer plumb- | folly. One or two samples will show the sillyness of his system. | He “felt compelled” to give the bellboy who brought his bag to! his room a quarter. For A 900d woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, @ beautiful woman fascinates him—but the considerate woman gets him, To*make your husband dress for dinner don't tell him how badly he looks in negligee but how handsome he looks in evening clothes, A man ‘tho could Ice water was rewarded with a dime more, ‘ ‘ ” not be shamed into heaven can be flattered straight into having a night letter put into his hand he “coughed up” another ten IAM TELUING THE 1AM HIDING 2) purgatory. cents. Twenty-five cents beside the charge for pressing trousers went SANTOR, THE SAME MY FACE IN CASE A eae 5 x 6 5. ; | MING | TOLO THE MAID, (MEET SOMEBODY, to the valet. He gave one dollar to the waiter for serving a dinner | \ | DON'T WANT 4 T J | A dbachetor's idea in marrying is probatiy that, afier all, it may be sfor two. He left an extra ten cents every time he paid for a tele- = } OV Eee. Row, |more peaceful to live in the fear of one woman than to live in the terror é - JM = phone call. He presented a dime to the page every time the latter | or Ota of all women. Brought him a visitor's card, and so on. eres | Never talk to your husband before dinner, because then he is too This is the brand of fool who ruins hotel servants in New York hungry to appreciate your conversation—nor after dinner, because then and makes the tipping evil a thousand times worse than it need be, Of the tips noted above, not one was called for save that to the waiter at dinner, and there fifty cents would have been more than liberal. he is too sleepy to listen to it Blessed is the matchmaker; but she shall need the Kingdom as an escape from those with whose lives she has meddled. of Heaven In every other case a word of thanks was all that was necessary. Too many men slop over with their silver and dry up when it This Western tip-gusher spouted as much We wish there The trait that man most admires in woman is forbearance; knows he docs all in his power to kelp her cultivate it. and heaven comes to simple civility. harm and foolishness as he could in the time allowed. were fewer of him. After all, many a husband is a gentleman, in disguis { WHERE DID | WomenHleartbreakers O# Telisbors/apeerbation reRHUnE ———__++ HAVE YOU READ SWILLINS? 4 HO is the greatest novelist? Vou cer W One used to reply instantly and with love, Thack- — | How CAN HE ? , SUNBuRNED? eray or Dickens or George Eliot or some other tried and ( ticeks List IWISED Copyright, 1912, by ‘The Pres Publishing Co, (The New York World) RECAUTION . 7 an " 7 true old favorite. : ) PAY ALIBI IS PERFECT, NO. 28.—JOSEPHINE, Empress of the French. But nowadays if you make any such answer your questioner WIFEY i Wwe) Y wife does not come to meet me. Some flirtation keeps her * emi superior smile and says: nn se } in Paris, Curse all women “Oh, Dickens and Thackeray in their way, of course. But what ebout Swillins? Surely you know Swillins!” It’s the first time you ever heard of Swillins, and if you nave courage you say 60. “What, you don’t know Swillins? Why Swillins is the greatest of them all! Nothing ever known like Gwillins’s character land- capes, etc., etc.! 1” With some difficulty you gather that Swillins is the greatest nov- ¢list mainly because his books don’t sell and he is known only to about twenty-three readers who go sround putting on airs ebout him and doing the ‘honors of him, and having proud and glorious time over him just as long as nobody else knows him. The glory of Swillins is in being so utterly unexpected and unheard of that most anybody can be bowled over with him. Poets are going much the exme way. Tennyson, Browning, Longfellow wore poets to be sure. But who “sounds the great note” —the life sonance’? Why Bolly, of course! And who is Bolly? Well you can eee him any night either in Clancy’s saloon or Mra, Bohemia’s salon. Nobody knows where he goes other times. ‘As for music, Beethoven, Mozart and Wagner are just respect- So wrote an angry litle man who on foreign soil was winning victories for France and deathles lory for himself. He was Napoleon Bonaparte. And the wife to whom he referred was Marie Rose Josephine Tascher de la Pagerte, a Creole six years older than him- self—a woman known to history as “Josephine, Empress of the French,” Josephine the daughter of a French licutenant and was born at Martinique in 1763. Her education ended when she was fifteen. It con- sista chiefly of a knack at drawing, singing and embroidery. In other ;2ccomplishments and in mere study she was wofully deficient. But she | was pretty and very graceful. She. had dark blue eyes, masses of dark | hair. an exquisite figure and teeth that blackened early. From the first she was a heartbreaker. In girlhood she had one or two love affairs which caused no little gossip in Martinique. Then, while still jin her teens, she married the elghteen-year-old Vicomte Beauharnats. ‘The unton Was not happy. Josephine was frivolous, shallow, extravagant. Beauharnals Was jealous and unfaithful. Raking up the memory of one of her early ro mances, he tried to divorce her and fatled. During the French Revolution, Beauharnals was beheaded. Josephine was {n danger of the same fate, But she wor the heart of the Saved From th $11! ul and all-corrupt politician, Barras, who suc- | Guillotine. ceeded in freeing her. In the worse than doubtful society that prevailed to Paris in the last days of the Revolution the pretty « e widow ruled as queer of hearts. n were enraptured by her grace a yety. And it is not on | Tecord that she resented their admiration preroga- | Ne For the average man It was in 17% that Josephine chanced to me | | | | | | nnn sla The Porch Brigade (ti) By Sophie rene Lob) ee ee erent srseas snes ireroniecronsnnnpsasasnesnansoaronrs A YOUNG woman returned from) might have been turned to fetter Mother Eve propensity of “I don't want sto gossip but—&e." These cackling hens are the brigadier. | generals in the army of the porch brigade at the summer resort, The lay of the summer boarder hums on, n And the rumbling of woman against woman fs still heard in the middle dis- tance. I must say, my dear sisters, | that this is distinctly woman’ | tive, somehow, her two-weeks' annual vacation] profit; and HER passing only made the other day, She is employed |Toom for the NEXT victim, in a big department} While we are getting broader and 1 know this|™ore Iberal every day and the woman's hovement 1s bringing women together— a restless yell nt, penniless % - | Youngs Corsican officer, Napoleon Bonaparte. ° é ¢ , ; Ie ane Re may see and hear anything, and wheth- | ¥ poleon Bonaparte Was the foremost love of h able ancients, The world runs after Lesissy, the passionate young [iar ee Seis lizing that “in unton there 1s|making the honey of CONSTRUCTION | er there IS foundation or not he Mes: He adored her from the moment they met. She cared nothing for hin Ki * eh e ry p' a e e acid of I RARELY has the inclinath to GOs. | Indeed, at that time, ti was little ab iY “ ¥ oate and dragon flies, E. strength—yet there are a few whol|but rather th lemon = acid s the inclination to G y ittle about Bonapa Ber progressive who makes “tone-poems” about goate a B' She looked wan! sti cannot supprese the old innate |STRUCTION. SIP about it. At least he ts magnant-/ Barras was tired of her and told her the young Cors What 4s needed is a Society for the Protection and Nefense of Old and weary and wor- an had every. prospe mous enough to give the BENEFIT | of @ great career. So with Barras @ go-between the mé riage was arrange: : wae ted. And upon my of the doubt. Says the old philosopher, Bonaparte was twenty-six; Josep! = q to the old favorites are to Hs ‘ays the old pl pher, y-six; Josephine was thirty-two, and was beginning to Standbys. Most of us who are faithful to the i 0 Apollonius: fone the freshness of her beauts ; + eee dazed when we hear the names of these silly, impudent insects that “Talkativeness produces many dls-/ Manner chanted the awkw ‘uaz about the puny circles of modern “art” to ewat them as they r that enchants ‘ deserve. Next time somebody pities you because you don’t know % Swillins gather your etanch old friends about you and emite the upstart. asters, but in silence there Is safety.” | y Vor goodness sake, “talker,” when you| @fierward he invaded go away for a little change, change a/ him. W he was in little and at least draw in the axe,’ Charles, @ military dandy Don't victimize a fellow-creature who! swearing he would divor has but @ little while to stay in Josephine wept and vo T Bonaparte went almost at once ypt woefully, Copyright WIZ by The Press Publishing Co, (Phe, New York World). » Tam sorry to] Why is dew often harmful to the health? TiAldn't Why is a window pane cold to the touch, even in hot weather? rd she had captured in Jealous fury, rushed back to Par 286.~ oN she was innocent of even tie Midest Mrtatio / Seennereng weenie Po RMUMes told ine how the: parok| Oo Why do the sun and moon (although they are spheres) look tike| een Ney Perioe. a SP Ce Lee ete RUE ROTOR. aman ald Nectar a8 before, His ' ‘ wade at the little ify tislth ve rots IB « ae To begin with, ay Lan be a ae bile pricy He hens ants aa the Wonder: airi of his dreams, but ae: 0,000 more going into the battle pand-s em rs Y | a! was thelr spectal tars Heing Py “ - » hetwes: ’ wrong by embittering your associates | to a sort of contemptuous friend) shan ha as their feelings toward a British peer by gathering together and erying | time ‘instead of being siions will be answered Monday, Here ave repites toleavesdroppers, never hear any GOOD| “Josephine! ald to her In the presence of i that one wen times, And you'r wonder why it was ever called “Merrie”! eae gaining strength is largely alr (having different distances to travel) reach the car at successive tarnished tinsel when | what a PLEASANT feeling you will! hig crown and was a hapeless prisoner at St. 7 Helena, Josephine died tn 1814 have. | having outlived her husband's greatness and having witnessed his downfall, r ments becom [too pale. Why don't you use rows | : __| matter of MIND; which makes or «| intervals carrying LOWLY imisslons,. If you will| In 1809 te divorced her; seeking to strengthen his posiiion by a more advans ————_—_—_____— permet PHYSICAL, fare. Some seem on —(Why is a cup som # broken when hot water ts suddenly poured into] ye a sermonizing soothsayer find @| tageous marriage. But tie gave her an allowance of 11000, your and lot mer in harmless acts on her part were! {t?)—China is a bad The inner surface of the cup expands so much WORTHY thing about a person and) keep her cherished title of press. From the moment of the divorce, oddly ctvaes From the People| made imountaina which in reality were | faster than the outer surface that an opposing force 18 created and the cup|talk on that. You haven't any {dea! enough, Napoleon Bonaparte's star began to. net In a fow years he had los! but molehills, breaks, bé ts Letters From the People ‘Their little glances of DISAPPROY- 233~(Why is @ pail drawn up through water much Ughter to lift than after ‘AL, nudges and hushed whispers when | ft rises above the water?)—-When the pail ts in ve water it 18 buoyed by the] And, finally, 4f you must say Pata - sh apes a dial she was about, were not lost on her| water's upward pressure, As soon as it ts lifted above the surface the pressure| things about people, pick out the DEAD i 7 a . Yes. Wealthy she probably wil] support him | sensitive soul, And they seared; even| becomes entirely a downward one. ones. They won't care. The world’s| Picked Up From All Over. i Yo the Bakor of The renting World: ¢] and sf sho ts without means she will! thoueh she bravely tried to battle H—(Why does bread become hard und dry @ few-days after it {8 baked?)—| opinion cannot touch them, No one| Formerly, cancer of the tongue oe+|John Duncan, A. R. §. Ay has been | Ie & man (born in this country’ Of) propaviy support him Mkewise by work- AGAINST ft, Ite vapors and Kuses escape, leaving the solid particles #0 dry that they collapse|can live alone. sAnd those about you/curred only among men. Now that 80| unveiled by W. B, Blaikie on Bann ign parentage, who have not bel ing gor him, I hope this suggestion will) So it happened that the pleasant time | {nto a solid mass, need the everyday charity, many women have taken to smoking it/burgh Castle esplanade to mark the . e naturalized) at the age Of) netp in Aguring out the handsome young | waa made UNHAPPY to one who| 2%5—(Why are we cooled by being fanned?)—Fanning throws fresh particiles| THROW THE HAMMER OF GOS-j also occurs among them. place where witches used to be burned enty-one # citizen and voter? man's predicament, NEEDED tt most tn the everyday grind | of alr against the face, Each particle of air helps to absorb the face's moisture,] SIP INTO THE SEA=THE FISHES - jf ARTHUR, MKS. FR? , Atbany, N, ¥, lof things by w lot of allly talk that! The evaporation of molsture produces coolness, MIND, \ A tablet and foundation designed by! Republican China 1s to have a com Ewe Years. 87,500 « Year and biiecaibe esti ch Mb 3 By: bate ene _ + --—~- -—-—_--. — —___- - - _ me seteenesaaceaiih 5 a plete kindergarten system installed in ... v egatitenee: om Jef 4 ihe nationak schools, Miss Mary T° 5 + of The Evening Work 8 132 VAAenenennnnrnnn (v9 ‘ vedyard, kindergarten supervisor of the What are the terms and yearl Wye r¢ 4 t I d J - ae : (=e 1072, by The Preee Publishing Oo, $ B S ulliv an Los ATA 34Nc = s —— ‘on aor s TERA ag eee BOOK IT e a e a e T T y % PORE % (The New York World.) . am % y cently that she would head the Chinese the Editor of ‘The Even Tt ts often through totoat wv te judy schools Asolo, which dnspired two of Brown- Ing’s verses in “Asolando,” and which is observing the centenary, &@ fortified town in Treviso, in northern Italy, Tt was the ancient Acelum, and possesses | @ cathedral and a ruined aqueduct, Thy former palace of Catharine Cornaro queen of Cyprus, is in the neighborhood There are beautiful seats in the vtointty, and the town has « population of under 6,000.—London Globe, THAT FLY PAPER GAVE ME AN IDEA (LL Go AND SEE ThE SANO- PAPER. ust! AND TAKE \T DOWN TD THE ftorial such as your “Don't Mind the rouble” (in behalf of {l!-treated horses) Dppears, every sensible person's opinion of the Evening World must go~if not Blready there—to top notch! If people be made to realize the vast capac- for suffering that most animals b hey would, assuredly, insist on the en- foreing of humane laws. And, ft Js by means of just such editorials as that puch realization may be brought abo MAY BLE, Jumping Cars! NO MATTER WHERE 1Go \ -PAPER — Now FEEL sticky AUDAY | The faculty of Vassar College are to be considering the abolition of “daisy chain,” thinking that the worl set the impresston that Persona! p beauty counts for mogs than scholaty that college. Perhaps they are efute Max Beerbohm's epigram Zuleika Dobson," the “Oxford love seauty and the lust for j learning have yet to be alllea.” ! 1d. may acquainied with andsome, but de- oid of thinking qualities’ and who, for Matireason cannot hold a position to e if KS : | wupport himeelf. Let him try married | } . hy tite. I dare say there are a great many . @omen who would not hesitate in ac the attentions of this handsome able tor dn ™man, and probably would not the man's thinking qualities or enperiiity of holding @ position eo ee he te handsome, If the lady is The Scotchmen are the heav' the average, of all British subjects, There are nineteen motor Ite boats in Guise on the connts of Groat Bettatn,