The evening world. Newspaper, July 15, 1912, Page 11

The Evening Be 6°*S’Matter, Pop?’’ “VPRoP, wit YA Houd]] Sure! Go THis LION FOR US? |] AHEAD AND WE WANTA MeTCH A TIGER IN THE BED ROOM Do You Sae IT HERE, THERE AND) |*Everybody EVERY WHERE. PY SvRBnRAvBaovw M*« PAFAUN'S rich uncle died A VACATION ine THE COUNTRY Witt PO YOU LOTS ‘OF 4000 deaneot last week, but she didn’t inherit enough of his money to get & Proposal of marriage, Lawyer Rasp The Hedgeville | says when there ts Editor. a8 much money in it, he would just as soon take the right side of a case as the wrong aide. It ts considered bad manners, clety, for a girl when a young man pose to her. in s0- to start singing just {8 ready to pro- Rey. Frost says that some people keep so busy talking about their ene- mies you never know if they have any friends. Myx POOR DEAR, ONT ead (a WHILE I" " AWAY TO. THE COUNTRY At the joint trial Tuesday Perrin Kelly testified that he had been drink- ing whiskey for twenty years and he finds that !t is not an intoxicating iiquor. The Judge—Madam, how did you manage to overcome this tremen- ously strong burglar? The Complainant—I thought it was my husband sneaking home. late RAW recruit from a remote corner of the Green Isle was engaged for the first time om the club. A in a fleld manoeuvre, on outpost duty. The sergeant instructed him to look out care- fully for the colonel coming to inspect the post, says Tid Bits. ‘After an hour he returned and asked the @ol- dier, “Has the colonel been here Receiving an anawer in the negative, he went away, returning later on with the same inquiry. | A while later the colonel appeared, The re- crult did not salute properly, which incensed the 1 World Daily Ma ALL RIGHT CHASE tt Our AW Ti Gras IT AT THS SIDE ’s Doing It!” fy, Burt t NEVER SAMY YOU SO WILLING T0 BUTTON MY DRESS mi8S you t! HY pear, T WON'T BE ABLE JO KEEP my HIND ON ny BUSINESS | zine —— (heres your NAT, my DARLING —~ You! TRUNK 1S ALL % Monday, July 15, en ae 1912 By C. M. Payne By Carmichael You Necow't HURRY, DEAR TVE PLENTY oF TIME To entcH HY TRAIN ! rine t THEN WE'LL HAVE A COLD BoTTLE ANO colonel, who, as a hint, asked him: “Do you know who I am?" “Faith, and I do not,” answered the recruit. ‘1 am the colonel. “Begorra, you will catch it, then, soldier, “The sergeant has been for yes already!” Cheer Up, Cuthbert! By Clarence L. Cullen by The Press Publishing Co, New York World), says the king twico “Afraid of the exposure, I imagin bh CTION without Initlative 1s Good Enough for the Automaton! YOUNG negro walked Into the office of prominent lawysi, in Louisiana, and sata: “Foss, I kum to see you ‘bout gettin’ &@ 'vorcement.” What's the matter, John?" said the attorney, "t you get along with Mary, or have you ind sbme other girl you like better?” ‘The negro, with # grin, admitted that he had ound such a girl and asked ‘What you goin'er charge me, Mr. Chi Fifty dollars, John,” said the attorney. The negro moved uneasily abouc the office, eratched his head, but did not speak. After @ UZew minutes the lawyer asked: ‘What in the trouble, Johr “I just tell you, Mr. Charlie,” said he, “there ain't no fifty dollars difference in dem gals.”— fp National Monthly. \ Some Men are Successful, not Be- cause of their Se- cretiveness, but in Spite of It! Somehow never yet Saw a Steam - Roller so Speedy that we couldn't Duck out of the Way of It! we He?” Some of us never Get so Grown-Up that we Outlive the old Childish Desire to Play with Fire! That “Don't Worry” Dictum wasn't Devised as an Excuse to Loaf! “What happens when you put the dollar before the man?" bawled the andidate, according to an exchange. “The man goes after it,” answered an old farmer in the crowd, There's Nothing Incompatible be tween the Eftcacy of Prayer and the Expediency of Hustling! The Fellow who can Win by only Half-Trying never Sets a New Mark! OCTORS aren't always satistac- (And, at that, they are @ more satisfactory than their bills.) In fact, they have been charged with “pouring med- feine of which they know little into sys- tems of which they know nothing.” But they are wonders compared to the doctors of old, Here are one or two of the many horrible and insane reme- dies the ancient doctors prescribed: Vor dog bite, a mouthful of the hair of the dog, For certain Internal disorde: live beetle, swallowed whole, isorders, a flayed dog or cat ap- 1 to the patient's back. For fevers and for nearly every other malady the doctors usually bled a patient. When he had apoplexy they bled him. When he was dying from loss of blood they lot What Doctora Every Time a Man Makes up his Mind Used ta Do. ¥ to Give Himself a Square Deal, Habit Loses a Slave! Banish the Bogie FEAR—He's not worth Vanquishing! If you're Realy Going to QUIT, the Sweagins-Off Business ts a Ceremony of Supererogation! It isn't So Hard to Deceive Others ~-but it's Time for the Alarm to Ring when you Find that you can Kid Youreelf! The Only Thing that redeems Envy also bled him, When an operation was > to be performed they first made him la thet Occasionally it Stirs to Emula- drunk, That was thelr idea of an an- avsthetie, The Believer in that “Thou Shalt Not Be Found Out’ Thing Generally is Under Cover About Something A ‘Celestial’? Name. HE name of Dr. sun Yat Sen Is|he was chiefly calied after his banish-| etter the Bolsterous Brogans than rT significant of his life. The word|ment. Now he bears another name of! the Gum-Shoe Game! Sun, or Suen, is the clan name,| Yat Sen, which, means ‘Day's Geni!,” — 4 means “descendant.” He has borne |2F “ans Immortal One.” In all these] When “They” Accuse you of being names there is mblance of his char-| “swelled,” it's a Blgn that you've Really acter, and if the republic of China Hves| accomplished Something! it will be due to hie untiring seal ai — self-abnegation for the good of his own! Ags Often as not, the Geeds of Sus- feo given names within the last twenty rs, The first ‘s Yat Sen, “Day nor “Daily Renewhl," or “Daily “it-Another name is Man, which news 408 “Iiterary,” by which Hong Kong tn Missionasy IntelMgencer, | jrertilized with Prejudies! » countrymen.—Dr, Charles R. Hager of pigjon are Planted in @ Soll that is Fabl By Sophie Copyright, 1912, by The Prem Pub WHEN PLENTY LD AESOP records: “Once upon & time a town mouse came to visit his cousin O The rough but he town in the country, 1 | and ready, nade the mouse welcome Reans and bacon, and bread cheese were all but he offered them freely and they ate in peace, 1 town mouse rather turned up his nose at the country fare and sald, ‘I cannot un- derstand, with such poor food me and I will show how you can put u ‘as this, Come with you how to live.” “No sooner sata than done! The twe mice se! off for the town and arrived at |the town mouse's residence late at Inight, ‘You will want some refresh- jMents after our long journey,’ sald the town mouse, wirlly, and took his friend ‘to the grand dining-room, ‘There was the remains of a fine feast, and the (wo mice were eating up jellies and cakes and all that was nice, Sudd they heard growling and barking, ‘Oh, It te only the dogs of the house,’ assured t town mouse. ‘Only!" muttered the coun- try mouse, ‘I do no! Ike that muste at |my dinner!’ Just then {n came two huge mastiffs and the e had to | scamper for thetr lives.”" From all of which Aesop draws this | moral: “Better beans and bacon peace than cakes and ale in fear.” Once upon @ time there was @ couple who lived in the country. They were not poor and they were not rich, ‘The husband had @ nice little business, The wife had @ nice little hon When they could afford tt bought @ new dress and Jolin had a new sult, Of course, this did not hap pen very often, but they were CON- TENT. Mary did her own work, and the end of a well. nt day found her happy and Joyful when John came hor from business, Every year John saved a little against found enough surplus for a little vaca. ton or ure now and then which both ENJOYED, and which both looked back upon for mans éaya, Everyday Folks he had, ; Mary! the rainy day, and in the meantime thetr es of drene Loeb ishing Co, (The New York World), MEANS PEACE. One day some distant relative maple, caine to visit them, acity Mary and John gave them all the SIMPLE pleas- ives at thelr command and. tried to imake them feel vers hat home, | But chy folks were platnly bore |For they happened to be of the kind that spend all they make, \ ‘thout any | thought of he rainy day; and, in @ word, LIVED UP TO THE MARK, o it came to pans that Jeannette filled Mary's ears with the WONDERS of the | clty and the every-minute-something-to- » Mfe of it all, In like manner did Clarence portray in glowing terms the nany OPPORTUNITIES that were waiting: In the city for the man with a Mttle money. y went away, but the city germ | had entered the eountry folks. To maka cousin! a long fable short, Mary and John came} to the cily and set up in busines | Now, contrary to. the regular tate, John 10D succeed, For all his life he had been a hard worker, At first they lived very much as they did tn the country-simply, SANELY, But ax time yn, though Mary's work was ER in the city, yet her neighbor 4 to have such a nice time of It with a maid! And why not she? John axreed ‘The once-tn-a-whtle Areas gave way to | the very-often need of one, Fe Mrs. Neighbor display a new one ever | a0 often? To #9 wi'h Mary John had to do likewise, seam, ‘The city relatives were on hand to| And many, | In @ word) help with the er times, many were the OOCASTIONR, they got Into the SWIM. And now John had ‘o do @ Iittle more [scheming to keep things going, as tt were, and many nights he would He ake ndering how that over-due business Dill was to be met. Mary did not make things "DO" she was won't. Tut every day some new Ilttle Innovation found her a WILL- TNG cuntomer. Mary to he a | that, or th with tears duke. "pattern after. Quarrel often, and so he refrained, such things go, John was foreed to face an insue He was at the end of h resources, ‘Then they had to take in- ventory of the whole proceeding, They were tired of the struggle and former peace seemed golden, indeed, Before it was too late they went BACK to go FORWARD again. Mammen (Hater the peace of ittle than the pante of ‘00 much! When John reminded bit careful about thie, » other thing, he was met of disappointment came more 1 didn't | last teu daz nent and re-| For there was the nelahbor to} At last, an) Good Stories Rather Particular. 66 A TOW, alr." asked tho lawyer, “ean you give me the true facta in thie cave!” ‘The witness henitated ‘Well, sit, can't you anewert 1 wae just i iether or not a true fact argues the existence of au uotrne fact: a further, what might be the precise sh. ence between @ true fact av: oF, on the other hand, if there is any real diatin: uuntrie fact and a tr pretend, analogy ta lesa convincing than dissimilitude, ‘The introduction of « startling the salient ., ol: je of ditt maring his other wide hand feebly at the attorney for the Chicage Tribune, Paradoxical Display. ISS MARY GARDE: © beautiful girl wh the oftradecollete dim 1912 epring season “When you ae cubegown as that before you aumudtaneoudy 91 auch a yretty glet tm auch «low you hava a remarkable paradox the yaradox of @ person who displays ad taste and very good fora,” > The Reason. ANON RHOAT BRISTOW, who ie to succeed Canon Henhans, an Chairman if the Poor Clerky Mellef Corporiiuy, bae) © large and varied exverience of lifh in underworld of Landon He ouco bad ap amusing experience christening. Infenva usually cry watle unler the veremoay, but tiie was a qu lamb, ‘Throughout it heerfully in the Canon's face, Malaw,” he remarkel Inter to the young | mother, "1 must ¢ you on the ti one’s behavior, 1 have Histebed a cli that has behaved ao well ax yours “No wonder he believed so well.” waa the a exmected reply “His father ant Place h for the sing on him with « pail of water MA oo He Wins or You Lose. | R. ROOSEVELT, divcusdng in Milyauke hie ides of an einployers’ id to & amup Goethals T. HE following story ts told of Col, George W. Goethals, who at the thme it tak’ place wae nn inetrat ‘at Point, ways tie Saturday One day, in & recitall tion to @ cltas of cates “The post flagvole, sinty feet high, has fallen down, You ase ordered Wy your commanding off! rere to gmt tt up again. Yo , he gave h command © sergeant, tev privates of the engineer NY useless wrist. corms, How would you get the pole back into piace! figuring “over derricks, blooks, tackle, evolved & different method, eeid Goethals, “you are al! wrong. tou Tondo say, ‘old Them How, for my ‘right arm seemed numb « Ut this QMe® exultant under your had Hash cedet, after long wmmeideration and much | ne one ‘Bergent, pat up wat | Wave By Wells (Copyright, 1911, by Bobbe Merril Co,) SYNODAIS OF PRECEDING CHAPTERS Mason Ells ond, of her, Bghrela fate had where the latter 4 prisoner, Mana mois (teehee the Bh in love with each other ‘They are apie: on Wy am Doutting © regulay mony, Maso Heenae, Cn hie return Nancy lug Longe let son starts derby. hy older woutan ant a inan lodged Mr, Lahm, T' of @ man nd wie be Lathrop save ¢ tended Nancy wae Insane were tak Ing. ver to an any to. New Yorn in, the fugit tite adtertine. for man awl ee totlar Srrenthed” from, heh Use “orien” eros note telie hi ia saloon he ie wearer. to un a Cort frattea w boar CHAPTER XIV. (Continued) Misfortune. T SKEMED as if the train ] would neve art. My two men came rushing up the staira and, | think, omitted the formality of either pur- or depositing tickets, They to the gate of my car, but, I muat have found it clored, for I loat sight of them rear the train. chasing rush aupposi they turned and running to the of Wihether they got on or not I could not at the moment be sure, But I was not to be left long in doubt, for as my train skirted the park and drew into Fifty. ninth street a sodden face peered in at the rear door of the car for a moment and, wolf eyes meeting mine, was withdrawn as suddenly as It came. [ had at first intended going far up- town and doubling back by means ot the subway, now, on a sudden impulse, as the brakes went on and we #hud- dered to @ standstill, 1 got up quickly and made for the forward door, aquees- ing throu the partly opened gate, haif running, half falling, down the long fight of stairs, What I should have done, of court was to turn in at the fleet decently lighted place I came to, It was through sheer stupidity that I did not, but It wan not until the next day that I real- ized that already my address was known, that my very keeping of the rendeavous was an acknowledgment that Tw “Mr. Tyler’ of the Hotel Gloria. Now, In the excitement of flight and pursuit, 1 foolishly overlooked this ob- viou@ conclusion, I wae anxious not to be followed home, and innocently #sup- tL was making this a con- f ppeed and wit; ao, Hke a silly posed test hunted artmal, 1 ran through Fif- ty-ninth atreet, dodging in and out of {the groupe of Dbelited negroes who make this block unpleasant at this hour, and cutting across Columbus Cirele hesitated for a moment at the subway ntran then plunged fatuously into Central Park, The park seemed to me at the moment the ideal labyrinth @n which to lose my. pursuers, Its lights were few and scattered, and at frequent intervals winding path cut winding path, and clumps of new leaved {{anrubhery made unexpected shadowy hiding places. It was thie very Intricate quality of the park's arrang ent that made my of Ita mistake. For after doub- ling two or three times, T stopped to livten and made sure that [had sheken ff and distanced my puri A ghostly policeman 4 T nodded to hin gteyly. for fenly pleased with myself; so pleased that I found myself whistling softly as T was child 1 turned vaguely east fn what To au posed to be the direction of Fifth ave nue I must have been walking four or five minutes hefore my inen stepped suddenly out in front of me. For a second all three of us stood atill, peering In the vague lirht for fur certainty: then, as if at some pre ing to the Washington Alar ee ena aes i rn a itt, after. all, the ‘amtnlance type ot | arnged my right ear and thudded tn [lawyer isn't worthy of much co jerushing silence onto my shoulder, ‘The “An inywred miner was telling @ friend how other man had dived and taken me ong ot these, “ambulance chasers” wae woe About the koe 1 or em, 7 * | beg 0 ih foe cme on a contingent fee, | rE, Rot him, Jim," he wrunted 8) the miner anid, ‘What i @ eontingent foe, do | “Roak him you know, Jimmy? | In the mean time I had atruck the * ture L know,’ Jimmy answered. ‘If you as |man with the sandbag full in the the case your lamyer'll get oothing, and if you chin with my left hand, and, aa he win you'll get nothing” staggered, I caught him roughly by —— the cont, and with my left hang, tl wo the 1 the 1 powerless, [ ferked him forward that he toppled toward me, and three of us went down tn a heap. think, even as we fell, I felt joy of fighting. Then squirmed and kicked out viclously for the man who atill held my knees suddenly fastened his teeth in With the animal pain of it, and the flashing recognition of the unfair- and murderoun intent of the my unused, unrecognined strength swept over me like @ hot ‘I found, myself suddenly on my feet, holding my lesser assailant The Man in the Brown Derby A Great Summer Story of New York y othing here length, Hastings or ja head ae 9) ly club to batter com'T xnexs out of the man upon the \dewalk. My jerking him victousty’\\’ back for a third blow was the last; I remember, for, like @ aud: denly extinguished eht, the world went utterly out of extatence, It muat have been nome time before iti) came reelingly before my eyes again... Lave go my arrm; lave it go, ye divi, Do ye want to break it T relaxed an unconscious grasp and closed my cyen for # sickening; moment. “Who are you by the colli fort of unwi and using ne 1 whispered at “Who ye are-has got more to do with © It," the voice answered, T tried opening my eyes again, end tn the stagmering darkness saw the looms \ ing outline of a policeman’s helmet, “Where are they, officer?’ [ asked. |! The policeman @sagwed me up intoe altting: pont 7 "7 “There,” he aaid. “I've been holaide | your head in my lap for the last five minutes, and ‘tis a silly looking sight the two of us was, Are ye able to sit? What hit ye? Were ye attackted? 1 answered, “Didn't you * . @eo them? jot a sowl, neck over ye. But I near broke @ fearsome thin, stomach in the runt out of him. Do complaint’ jd vaguely, “I bellevs Fit I'm not feeling very well.” ot the foolish round of It “No wonder ye feel sick,” he sald, “with a boomp on the back of yer head like the dome of @ synagogue. Ye'd better run up to the hospital and eee if any of yer skull ts left, for if yeve been murdered ye ought to eo 8 complaint whether ye want to or not” “No,” I protented, ‘m all right,” and at the Fifth avenue entranee I left him. T had only gone about a block, hows ever, before a terrible thought burned for @ moment the sick dizziness from my mind. I stopped under a light and began a syst pockets, They 5 lar and tie of the man in the brown derby, my watch, my note book and ; my money were all of them gone 3 had been stripped absolutely bate. CHAPTER XV. The Old Gentleman of the Cale. N a sort of daze I found ay way as best I could to the Hotel Gloria, After the frst brilliant shock of realigation the fog of confusion had este down aguin, with this additional whirling eddy of a new wisfortune. 1 stumbled up the steps ant to the desk in the main office, My friend, the clerk, glanced up at me inquiringly and whie e to Tr ro home. I loughed abruptly and stoppe fe i tled tled softly In amaaement, es. id—"well! You aid get it What on earth hap- pened?" sg 1 was wandbagged, I think,” I an swéred. ‘I'll tell you all about tt im the morning. I'm wo di to straight now.” ve : “Lord man,” he said; ‘you ought to have a doctor." I shook my head stupidly. “No, I oughtn't," 1 said. 9 couldn't possibly pay one, They tools every cont Thad. T don't even knew how Ill pay my dill here.” viv ‘Well, don't ther about that now,” the clerk sald. “The Qhing for yeu to do is to get tw bed,” and he seat in a call for the hotel physician, z Between them they made m paratively comfortable. The doctor wave me a sedative and told me te? gO to sleep. ut i{ was some hours before I was able to do #0, The pulsing torment in my brain racked. me; the situation I must face on” the morrow filled me with a fevertal Apprehension, Hut In spite of tt, and in spite of the pain, once asleep, I slept well; and awoke about 20 o'clock to find myself much better te marvellous, my dear alr," te doctor sald; ‘quite marvellous.” But your physique is something very me’ wens, and LT should say that you had ! ed a pretty decent tite. It Tt all counts.” at Oa t But, although the pain had mostiy!”! Aisappeared, 1 was still very much od | troubled, I way here, I peallzed, with: | out a friend in the clty, with a hover!!! | Dil @s yet unpaid, and not a cent rT j the world that 1 could immediately lay \ my hands on, The fight before me 1 call me imperatively, and my = | enem had stripped me of the very~ rt | sinews of war, Y When I had Anished my breakfegye | the hotel clerk care and sat down, | beside my bod. beat! | Well,” he said, “you're looking i pretty ft Pe | Fit enough,” 1 admitted gloommys "| | “and, for that matter, I am going to” Bet up in @ few minutes, doctor or no” doctor, But what I'm going to do nextey fs more than I can tell you. It is quitemus clear to you that I can't even pay my hotel bill, and that I hi n't enough dasgage to be _w Lid (to Be Seatinua