The evening world. Newspaper, June 29, 1912, Page 7

ae AL PALZER STOPS WELLS IN THIRD T HE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, JUNE 29, ee en ter Str sae Stare: Sn 1912, NEWS OF ALL BRANCHES OF SPORT bo Youse cage FOR PRUNES ? PWS DWFERENCE CAN BE “ToLD (BY THE APPEARANCE OF WE UNIFORMS “THE OCCASIONS ARE RARE WHEN “THEY DISCUSS BASEBALL SAY MiSTO” wittsé = H's IW’ AH LITTLE Batic ac C8 MA OwN I! sass flie Baseball Scenes Things The Fans Dont Seo Or ismow Abouk By Bozeman Bulger Ready—Why a Pitcher Is Valuable to a Ciub Even Th jough He Never Goes in the Box in a Regular Game. eet behind the scenes in baseball, suppose we start with the first Player who enters the Giant club house in the morning and remain there until the lights are out after the game and the last athlet bas gone buzzing away in his car, The word “car” means automobile. All of those who do not own them ride with their friends. In this da: bit with vim. leaving the grounds. If the manager is not there himself he 1s represented dy Wilbert Robinson, the veteran coach, who takes the young pitchers under his wing for an hour's observation every morning. If any player fails to report McGraw knows !t by night. No especial watch is kept on the men. They ere simply placed on their honor. Moreover, no professional ballplayer ever tries to cheat or dodge, The most heinous crime from the ballplayer's point of view is lying. Ile may do many things that are reprehensible, but he never Mes. If he {s late for practice he notifies the man in charge to tell the man- ager. If he has an excuse he makes !t after the game. If he hasn't any he candidly admits it and takes the consequences, which, in some instances, sa Ught fine. WHY “BENCH” PITCHERS ARE! fond of the theatre and incidentally are j ood evitics, A new plece of music VALUABLE TO CLUB. never esc i PRG RECRALE (a 'ecbare ie anally escapes them. Any air that ts cepectatiy-tuneful {# being sung in the Rude Marquard, the record holding | pasepail clubhouses within a few days Pitcher, He usually shows up by 9 after it Js first neard on Broadway. o'clock, pute on his togs, has his Work-| The pinyers are also interested in the out and is away by 10 o'clock, The/ stock market and their knowledge of @thers come in about the time Mar- fluctuating prices on all stocks in Wall quard is leaving, By 10.30 o'clock there) street ts really remarkable, Anything as many as twenty players on the | or » mathematical nature appeals to eld, batting, running, pitching 4M) them and they will diecues it by the catching in the outfield, The substitute | jy, players always spend an hour batting | against one of the extra pitchers. And | p14 il players are very fond of card ing end their favorite game is this $e regular hitting, too, for me bridge whist. The Giants also ike pitcher puts everything he has on the checkers, which !# probably due to pall, That is why the substitute Play | \rarnewson's well known proficiency at ers are so cocksure when they 69 tO} ina: gan At ll o'clock, those who bat in the pinches. They have really |iave taken the icy plunge in the tank hed more practice than the regulars. | an are cooled off usually organize a ‘This may also serve to explain WhY @/ Cara panty, ‘here Is @ constant argu pitcher can be of value toa club and | ree ditwoon the card players and the anti-card players over the question of never go in the box ina regular game. | He works in the mornings and has the | oo. ayers in shape for their werk |”, oF aed us teeroce! The regular pitch- | ay, Maity," @ome fellows will yell “yee t be used for this hard wor jthe minute he comes spluttering out of 0 ee tt would sap thelr strength |'"° 1 SEawYG BY my chair, Move t th resting Around so T can dres a8 bil4 ated aro resting ""sL borrowed this one from Merkle,"* arms 5 { 4 , "the first thing @ ball player does /™A% the reply. ii fwhen he enters a club house ts to Vell, Mt's mine, anyw ‘The anti- vente clothes whether he Intends card player will then wall over and seeeactice or not, A majority of them ‘amine the chair very closely, “Sure top in that way until ready to 4 mine. Don't you see my name on angles for the afternoon games, Without further ado he will hegin Serr Jayer has @ locker and in it drag {t from under the occupant Ae Each player has a chair to keep in | ividual things. He keeps his ede Jock and key as welb| front of his locker and to be sure It ‘orite bat and gloves, Some !dors not stray away he cuts his name liad ‘as many as @ dozen bats, /on it which they never allow to aa out of CARD GAME ALWAYS STARTS til the one ey their tower Sn Chief Meyers, for! SOMETHING, Just as the struggle for chairs | Peacetu was y settled the other morning one Jot the ouifielders came in from the |practice and began to throw his wet clothes around the room. In getting to his locker he bumped against the card has ten bate and six catch some of which have never Nevertheless, he goes y day and sees them carefully every ort everything is all right. His slo- “a workman is known by po ee table | I don't see why you fellows don't BAGEBALL |S NEVER DISCUSSED move your table in the other room," he IN THE CLUB HOUSE. said with much Irritation, “Don't you all tce at see you are in the way. my locker." “Aw, go and chase yourself,” spoke up one of the players, “Where does a busher like you come in to move this table?” A con ‘ v4 T can't get to athietes, The difference can be told by fhe appearance of the uniforms, The {peoming ones are covered with dust ‘and perspiration, while the others in their costumes made Up principally of @ thin undershirt and & towel are the of coolness. eT ordeal of dressing for the street and going out in the middle of the day, many’ of the ball players re main in the club house from the tne they report in the morning until the game 's on in the afternoon, They erted effort wae then made to “ Everybody had some taunt to offer and in five minutes the outfielder was oiling over with indigna tion at the encroachment on his right Just a» he was getting good and mad, some one got up and gave him @ chair {and advised him to “behave,” Other players came in to worry the card players, and in @ few minutes the Tounge around and discuss topics of the] roqm was so nolsy the players couldn't day. The occasions are ra when | discues the. game. The anti-card play. they @iscuss baseball, jom makes ers got around in a@ circle and sang that a tabooed subject. They are ail songs, thumped their bets against the Life tn the Ciub House Before and After the Game—The Early Morning Practice— Why the Utility Men Are Always ‘an “Bnd time plain “rattlors,” at a nickel a Tide, are tabooed by champions, Without the emell of gasoline in his nostrils no ballplayer of today can To begin with, McGraw has an inviolable rule that all players must report et the club house by 10 o'clock in the morning and have a workout before HEY FRED - SKIP ME A QUARTER TLL “TOMORROW=- wikk YA? Guwan! iF tHad “THAT MUCH MONEY * “WE PLAYERS ARE AiSo INTERESTED IN EDITED BY ROBERT EDGREN BRING US Sou ILE To HEAR MURRAY EAT UTS THEY ORDER THE Samer THING EvE@r DAY PWHEM 00 WE LOSE - wipert? ‘ Ww MEGRAW AND ROBINSON 7 (il ARE THE LAST “To WEAVE. U li y CONSIDERAHL iendiiticininiidadhdnattenionalaaialiaiiene \ MuscureR mean MAJOR LEAGUE RECO Nd ECORDS ws Compiled by Expert George L. Moreland. wall and threw things across the|lady makes soup for the players every . oy: room. One of them who was clothed| day. seat. Speis’ and iesieatag Weduroia, in @ towel around his neck waa chased| Albert has tnstalled in the clubhouse u, Viarers and Clute, =, AB. around the room until captured and|® half dozen plain white, deep crock»: F Soeaker,” Moston of dey thrown headlong into the tank of fey| fowls and the same number of large ‘ie "ble water. Then there was a wild shout 43 another was thrown in after him. In the fun that followed the card game was forgotten temporarily, and the big athletes scampered around scream- ing and yelling like a lot of little boys on the first day of vacation, MEYERS TAKES CARE OF HIS BATTING TOOLS. “How'd we stand?” one of the players asked when they finally came back to the table. Nobody knew, and there w sneral argument untii Mathew: son came in with a siip of paper and & pencil and proceeded to figure it out to the satisfaction of all concerned. In inathematics Matty's word preme, He settles all arguments. the time the game had got in full sway again Chief Meyers arrived. He gets there at the same minute every) day, Punctuality 1s his middle name. | “You fellows will have to move] ound,” the Chief began; “I've got to get to my locker and work on my bats.” ‘What's that you got !n your hand?” asked one of the card players. ‘“Pull- ing new stuff, eh?” In the Chief's hand was a large plece of bone. It was the broken end of the hip bone of an ox, Without delgning a reply the Chief walked over to his locker, shoving the table to one side and took out four new bats. These bats, by the way, look more like logs of wood than regulation sticks. He uses th largest bats In tho league. Placing the piece of bone on the end of a wood-bench, the Chief took the one at a time and began labor- y rubbing them up and down over the plece of bone. This required con- siderable muscular effort but the Indian kept at it, He would turn the bat in his hand as he pushed it to and fro across the bon: *What's the {deav’ 1 considerabie curiosity. “Polishing them,” he replied, “the best way to polish wood in the world, My forefathers did it that wa: “What good doen it do? asked Josh Devore and the Chief looked at him tn corn, “Well, I'll teach you something,” he sald, “by rubbing these bats over this bone I close up the pores in the woo That prevents them from being affect by the a / ked with | and changing in weight. I've | t like T want them now and | m going to keap them that way by | polishing.”* {BECKER PROUD OF HIS NEW{ BATS. Just then there was a loud yell heard {n the other room and in burst Be Becker, carryina a large bundle, 1 dropped it on the wooden bench with} @ thud and everybody looked up, ‘New bats?” several exclaimed at the tame time. “Bet your life," he replied. “Reautles, jtoo. Just came up from Louisville.” Mor a minute all the players gathered around | to see the package opened, and several offered their penknives to cut the heavy cords, Nothing interests a ball player @0 much as a new bat. Becker liad three of them fn the package and every body had to test thelr weight and bal- ance, “And none of you are going to get your hands on them, either,” declared Becker. “Firat thing you know some-| body will be trying one out in a game and breaking !t."" With that he place them fn the locker and turned the key. "Oh, Ed! On, F the colored man who does the rubding and massaging and a hundred other useful things for the players looked around to find Wiltse rub down. asked the rubber | was the reply, “lust a Mitte! "on the back. My arm's all right, | but I'd Ike for you to loosen up my back a little.” The pitcher was placed on the rubbing table, which {s an ele / vated leather couch, and went through | [the dally grind. One after another the! Pitchers came up for some kind of fattention and the trainer was busy for two hours, Byi this time- {t was nearing 1 o'clock —the card playing had lost {ts charn and some of the plavers were going out to test their ability as chauffeurs fn their new machines, The remaining ones had tired of conversation. They |had aiso grown weary of singing and Matening to “new ones," as they call} Jokes. | WHAT THE SPENDTHRIFTS HAD FOR LUNCH, ‘Albert! A-l-b-e-r-t!"” goes up @ shout, ‘Say, Ed, where's that boy?" “AN right, I'm comig,” cries a thin, boyish voice. He knows that the play-| ere ave yelling for thelr lunch “What do you want, Mr. Mathewson, | Mr. Wiltse, Mr, Devore, Mr. Merkle, | Mr. Wiison?” and so on around the room, “Have they got ood soup?’ asks and that will do for me," say) the others in turn, ‘And be sure and bring #ome crackers.” | Albert, @ polite and obliging tittle! fellow, then calis in a atill emailer lad! and, loaded down with earthern § thgg dave been converted into a. kind ofwbucket, they trudge away to a rei taurant up at the corner where an old cigarette that happens to be placed handily and will take a puff eB Ing our. They are not permitted to fy i #moke on the fleld and must have their AH { last puff before le clubhouse, | 4 4 t n lunch was finished a new game} wv q § jof cards was started, It was then iv ti at. “ nearly 2 o'clock and the clubhouse wae i tran te og | filled with players, Two or Uiree ot! ui . : SO the Chicago Cubs dropped in to seal yy ten, How i Mie what Was going on and watched the! Siate zs i rd game with Interest, ’ i is af This game of bridge hail lasted but a bf a6 short while when « ular buzzing 8 13 sudden drop {i nal tones} 4 5 H an noticed al) 0 Pe PT «0 “Has Me gome?" some one asked, | 4s ‘ H though knew such the case, | mn $ uw The (players all feter to Mc iraw as : 4 8 “1 about 2 o'clock,” sald Mes s { G as he bustlew into the room, but- s Pe cy Un spoons, Halt dressed, the players New dot : ¢ sit around and eat thelr soup and crack-| © MDowald, Ci Pay 4 Ath era from these bowls, ‘That is all they | Gods hone >! 1 ngeline, Athiet F have for lunch. They always ask for| Merle, \ i Nee tee Le the menu, but wind up by ordering the | Koveth: oo 4, Ni thing every day. Al knows | § : thie and tells them that the soup is ob 00d at the outset a About this time a newcomer exposed a Package of c. nd th ‘Sip me one. all ballplayers are cigarette smokers. Oftentimes a player wno is going out to the fleld will pick up anybody's Ighted ere was & Nearly Jleesesves ones tSSenESSSss SULZSSA Es toning the shirt of his uniform. 4 4 “We are Just breaking up.” explained i . tL heard @ man say: “Wells wae j one of the players, And there was a st H quickly in comparison with the more) iy tne power of the blow he hit yf hurried rush to the lockers to get in i 1 bulky Palzer, He has a snappy punch! 2”. "ae took everything out of Welle uniform for the game. fe Hf that keeled Palzer over in the first! nimeelf. fa A Ey round last night fn thelr bout at the| The man who sald this to me GETTING AWAY FROM THE 5 48 Garden, He hadn't sense enough to fol-! serious and was at the ringside. GAME EARLY. Vbarm. 185 go low hia punch or it might have been he has been fooling me for years, He In ten minutes, the clushouse was] Hofman, t yeti By H | fare-thee-well for Palacr at the end of has glass eyes. deserted except for the presence of idk! hitmet. $ “4 1! Seen St, ores ckall, the trainer, who 1s always on | tunes 14 13 at OME OF THE RETURNED ONES take melancholy solace tn telling the guard, Ed never sees the games at) ji)" 4 i 0 things that impressed them at the Baltimore Convention. Oddly eneugh home because fie has to be ready to 1 Seeneny it re those Items were acquired outside the hall, Here's one: Herman Mets touk look after any Injured players that Washingt 44 31 ik (38%! nis friend Borough President McAneny out to @ late session, When they got PEE eee Ay CUHne be Bat itd cnieaee 212 31 OH Zi) back to the hotel Metz steered McAneny Into the room where Tom Byrnes, the edpeaidals Mila ECL fla HD desig 10 ‘JAt| Brooklyn Jender, was asleep In one of the two beds that stood side by side. ‘The EF iS imtuaboea rand’ tele: tel tee. cay | Ge $3 207 ight wan dim and McAneny didn't recognize his roommate. In the morning he have to be went to the pressers, their | [iui i di¢, Then he hunted up Metz and catled him a dachshund, which ie Dutch fer @ shoes polished, etc, 5 #4 long-eared houn' dog. And why was McAneny ani Though Ed does not see the games he | 1 ? AY 8 | two politiclang on earth who hate each other thoro knows what ts golng on outside. If 4 a = : MoAneny. That's all, It a Brooklyn joke to put them in the seme single player—a pltcher—drops in early § a | While the discussion about the platform was at its height Charley Wise and he knows that something has g 3 820 49 | Tom Wogan, another pair of Hrooklynites, were arguing about the plank Jt orig aia Player must ne be MPa it " of wan the woozy hour And the firzes had been fast and strong. . a substitute which’ means that. the | wos Closines $F ein neanee he in a “They ought to put ina plank about the Titanle disaster,” sald Wiee, Giants are behind in the score. Te ae. | Remond, Cin By LT | FilamansAUhtoding 821 i “Wotinell you dreaming about? asked Wogan. “What's the Titanle gee te Aral Tlavabe core in atieeA at tinh bs | Glee oh SEM) Nivemane Wont HOR do with the Democratic national platform?" Knows that the game has been a wall # ¥ 'f “Well, {t mhould be put there,”” said Wise. ; ay, The regular players, in tha aL EOk! Wantaee*m aoa ‘And they argued {t Out for three solid hours and then fell asleep with thetp event, are allowed to leave the gam 4 shor] in | feet on the rail, early. They never go back to the feta | 1b L aon | after being allowed to retire. They dress | 5 4 8 | ‘If, EVER-WATCHFUL Mr. Hoff-| to [ ake, Mr, Loughiin? How wad . hurriedly and get home as quickly rH 4 1% | I mann {s again awake to his Jov.| you Ike It if you hat to gv home possible. They always look upon such |¢ ‘7 | He has dug up a world-wide point} ®nd rub forheads with your Mique ‘ oe ee ew eeneran Phin el, a H In onculatton that he treats in his usual) i”sted of klesen her on the : Getting out of schoo! early Verdue,. Boston a2 masterly and highly ornate orthograph-| Pies. or rub noses? Ha Ha. When the last man has been retired Noaliam, chad BraGles,, owen, 8 Very Idee. How the dowse caa they in the game there wa wild rush for, Maller, Si. bis Sireet’ New Yar, son foal atyle, thusly: congtrol that enyhow? And wet the club house and the players lai elapse Knight,” Washington 10 18 Deer Wurra Wurra: Legitlatcher wud they get to maike tearing tn. Every one of them wants) ~~ Attension Genlemen & Ladys: it & law of this sort? | to get under the shower and tnto the Nattonal League Pit ennybody dont Ike this wot do ° Wit_ respect | tank firat, In undressing they break all) ,, econts of nie tae care? Lreed in this paiper that a set MISTER HOFFMANN, ‘ one anon. In the case ot vietory, | on ang ti had Me Ave. w. of Phicysians out in Millwalkey, aa S. Two bad abot Teddy aln’¢ ft, j which 1s usual with the Giants this en York ui Wap q Whiskongain, Is Kone to maike a law jac? 4 ay @ are wild shot joy | a 10 10A0 ni Ad 7 Gn edod natured alvin of the players ms i 3 thac'se snyone ilesee thelr sitia: the velt-neede our evmpathy, aamee. | who have made mistakes, 10 } way aa everbody alwats did, vite: 2 ffinann, Laying Teddy away in the “Pretty lucky for one of them | Cheiet 1 a lips collides, Smack, and ail Is over, (‘Tomb is a diversion with his enemieg, | | Wilk Salk "AL amas has made a\ Crandall, New. York q j then they gets maybe @ sentente !n | but as « matter of fact, whenever anys: a misplay. “Tf we hadn't won you would | [ume nles, Co inn prison for doin 't; but them saw- | body goes to look for his grave he meets have got your call.” Mt i # j bones sujest that the bestest way [the selfeame Teddy com! of ay, Otle,"" Recker vella at Crandall, : 5 oa your girl rub [main gate whistling “Garryowen,” | “T guess you didn't lean against that | ke 4 $4 pha Aaa an le 4 Peeler earner Sa ee * i it off my deely beloved (7) mother in [hax another caubeen to shy Into he } “A curve.’ answers the usually allent Wise, New Ys 2 “dq Lawr wot is thes cowntry becoming — ring. ! Crandall. “Fo got It tnelde, just where) fi A 7 | OXING CLUB MANAGERS should be a@ little more careful in matching the | T wanted It. W i cir ok any contenders at their clubs. That bout between Mike Gibbons and Joe Stein 4 Occasionally one or two of the bane- Kre a 5 “ys yee 8 ey Clut h resi ball writers drop ty after the game to. It 8 10h SEIN] Uno’ Wathingions2s. damn | at the St, Ni ub the other night drawa forth this remark. Phe j | He a eUteerlah etek’ ike ther} LataEn iam ‘ i eee ne ‘Ay | fane Knew it was a 0 affair, but Gibbons ts such a clever man that mys | were not clearly understood | Bees os AAi| where he shows here le will attract a crowd who want to eee him at work | “Have you got official score? 4 8 6 “800 Aw expectod, Stein was willing but clumsy, He couldn't hit Gibbons with @ asks Merkle, as he comes over to the ” og ai | shovelful of #hot, After the fifth round the bout descended to a plain case of | newspaper men if 4 | oe ee | piasticking. It should have been at |, Mr, Referee Tone, when the @ { What's the matter § asked, ais 8 a minded patrons called to end It, There ts nothing sporty In seaing a geod, “LT wanted to w won bing! 1 6 4 H ieie acco mat many bingles ee me - game boy like Stein getting punishment when there never was a chance for kim “Oh, you got a alr is ; Hamitfton, At. 1 Ae ee | to win, i tha went through K i } ' Ford, New York " 6 ® = J ’ oe a | Weel Bt Loula Ww 4 HOSE OLD RIVALS Tom © use there are Clare men dying ¢nts Ae ntlelp: s th qu Q * Det ra 7 d Gad Be GAN OF Gntisipeliog the Gun a Pane Deira 8 i ] r who never died before, And there'll wAN nt," replied the ta } CW" roan, Atielie B Og row in the peda hy Brag Pea ole player hat's all 1 wanted to know nia 1 Wisk! Atietion oi 3 the Clare men's outing cuts 1u0ze among them fomercene eae T guess that’s bad, huh’—four bingles!"* } . book Celtic Park. Tom ran in atale pil shypaaadi, j FANS ALWAYS WITH A WINNING $ 10 } 3 | weeks ago at the games of his native! J. and & Why w tme ané ry TEAM 4 ie ier | Mayo, but he is now in good trim, and) stamp writing to know why an ate . ho} @ |wants to rum the lege off McNamara, | track Is banked up from the Inside and f Whilo the Players are dressing weveral | | ee ee | | who comes from County Clare. Hurling | whether the outelde or inside wheels well-known fans, most of them actors rete petween the Clare men and Kings leave the ground on a turn? Ever Rear : Oa eT Oth ls hot Sern va | h € 4 |County's team and Gaellc football be- | of Rameses—I mean the oldest of the {tors after the game, ‘They crowd in on | oe ee tween Mayo and Kerry will be other | fifty-seven different Rameseseses? Well i | MoGraw and there 1s a folly discusston His fea feature events to appeal to the Trish |that famous old joyriding chariotear of the day's doings. i i ae love of Vigorous contests, The hurling |used to strew a track banked upward “IT don't object to these fans coming = > @ 8 matoh will be a contest of tremendous | from the inside with hundred of tle eround,” said one of the players after = Bi Laule ae aes might, as each man on the respective | ful slaves bound hand and foot Y the crowd had thinned out, “But what | Pittabural = George, Cleveland og & & teams welgas over 175 pounds. In the|chase his chariot ever them until i | makes me mad ix the fact that when | cunastemarsimngin naan - ——Sa football clash there will be one of the| centre of ihe tragk was a pool of . we win they are sure to round, but | ed contests of the son, |red young blood. But whether the en we lose couldn't slo to the h) house |handle the most spirited o | if 4 eotner Me ee ee ee ee ee eee, Hosen ip houne | nandie the engine end the steering! noth sayo and Kerry are kicking | wheel of its chartot left the nesk efe § ‘About tits time Diamond Joe, a man|thelr time about dressing and then pro-| 1 forgot to say that the players have| Mshty fast ball, and Kerry would Uke ‘ave before the left would 1 oe who sells precious Jewels to ballplayera ceed dowitown together probably to| thelr own shirtmaker and to kick Mayo across the ocean, | poor thing's shins ts a question that you all over the country, drops in and he- | talk over old th and laugh about tn. | com 9 the clubhouse to take meamure- gins to exhibit his “junk,” which the cidents of the game. mente and show new styles, This ts one players examine carefully, This man ou there are several cars waiting |of the regular events known to every baliplayer tn the league, | to take the players home, Those whol ter a show night, @ epin along and he selis them the most valu cars invite the others to with boulevards or, maybe, @ light supper stones for cash oF credit, It nand in that way ail hands have the ath are in ready to report difference to him, He knows are| luxury of a motor car, Many of the|at 10 o'clock the next morning for ape good for anything they by This man | players are learning to drive their own| other day's grind farries thousands of dollars worthsot | ears and one of thelr stuf around In his pockets and vAMis anxious to have thel every clubhouse bm the country, reasons for belng| Isn't it a rather Interesting life~this r team mates ride thing of helng a hero and living the with them ts to show how well they cam carefree life of a boy?’ ” [RANDOM SHOTS AY BIG, GaMG Beene HEY WERE DRIFTING INTO TOWN TO-DAY, the blear-eyed, bedrabbed, T foasy throated ginks and gooks who went to the Baltimore Convention with fags flying and bands playing “Take a Little Tip from Father.” And ‘tle a sorry lot they are. But don’t think they are cured of the convention habit one bit. The average Tammanyite, who is a swell-cheated somebody tn his dlae triet, Imagines that he will hobnob and drink bubbles with the makers of Pres dents when he goes to a national convention, But alas! When he there he {# lost in a maeiatrom of other foolish mutts, He ts kicked around, pushed off the walk, butted, insulted, held up and packed Into a two-by-four cell In some third-rate lodging house dubbed a hotel, where he is p@vileked to hand over hie hard earned or hard borrowed bankroll to the plratical owner and has no more chance to make « kick than @ guinea pig. Then when he gets back to town he hopes to see the Manhattan multitude at the depot to greet him, but met even the negro porter will move out of his way, because Rastus knows the poor boob ts fat buated, ‘And the worst of it all fs that the convention rooter knows deep down is ts soul that he cuts as much ice as a man on roller skates. “What's a progressive?” asked Bob Cilfford, ‘The Piscatorial Prevaricators' Club of Sheepshead Bay wan in session at the Osborn, House, They were full of sea bass and trimmings and were trying to dope out the convention stuff at Bal- timore, “A progressive is a guy with a gall of a catfish,” ventured “Red” Evans, who has an abiding hatred of the sald catfish, “In a way you're partly right,” said Judge Dinnean, with his usual judictal gravity. “But your method of expres- on is unsuited to. your surroundings and does grave injustice erary acumen, A ptogreasive, 1 should say, Is a man who thinks somebody haw something that he should have seen firat."" “That's a profesional reformer,” broke in Jim Villepigue, the only man tn the world who knows how to practically Ine terpret the cabalistle words, “shore dinner.” “Quite no," sald the Judge, “A polltt- cal progressive has much tn common with a professional reformer, ‘They order of things establish civilization and all the pends on it on a new ani m life, liberty end pureait bt foolish men in the days egone, But there {a this difference between the BrO- fessional reformer and the politieas ore. gressive: The reformer alw som the payroll, bgp ve progressive just keeps right on talking.” ‘Then the Judge played the aco—whieh In Sheepanead Bayeee for eplicing the matnbrace. By the way, the Judge on his tap to Block Island, from which he hag returned In hie famots Ash-slau privateer, the Nomad, declares that’ kot, among the other things hauled home, two swordfish. He has the swords to prove it. He ie having them burnished and properly engraved. will go to the Colonel at Inscribed thus: “The sword that no bother.” ‘Tha other will go te Colonel at Lincoln, Nebraska, tn The sword that knows no better.’ no innards. WEEKS AGONE TO-DAY the round. And Wells hi HIRE I | ho tell about there appeared on this page a, Most of the wise owls wi hue asticis on Bombardier | box fighting fatled to see or Called to mention the awful right jolt that Palser with his 281-6 pounds back of landed directly under Well heart: the firat few seconds of fighting, or the hot left to the lower section that He — nent in at the close of the second. Those — two wallops did the business, Wells Just faded away ae thelr telling power | anre: itself, When he toppled ever ‘from absolute helplessness in the third and gave victory to Palser he wee in pain, Tt was several minutes before | . the English heavyweight cham- uurse of which I eal apropos of the fighting capacity of that young man: Mow here's where 3 becomé & prophet. I've mever seen this as- piring young person in action, but trengame of tatieutts, whexev the ie 0! ate. I see him introduced by the talka- tive announcers I almost expect him to do one of those patter songs that are so popular in dear old Zunnon. The analy Bombardier ts a showy lad. \ i could leave the ring, He wouldn't. X his rubbers touch his sore body in the |, dressing room and he was taken badly downeast but still champion of dot.; Wan correct i ved, England—and no more. rt ote Up , May find anewered in one of the There will be a good card of athletic |MAy And anewered in of Thebes, events starting at J o'clock sharp WIth) | iastion is old enough to 10-yard dash, when all the speedy sprine | fontan Mpeg of one ef eal at tera in the vicinity will compete, Many of these are as fast as the lads selected to compete ac Stockholm. There will be @ novice 1,000-yard run, ‘The proceeds will so to the sid’ mortu@ry fund, and Bill Crowle, Phere 18 need for all that cap ce oo Write soon again whcn your boss looking at you wasting his stampa, at lan NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE A WORLD WANT we ta