The evening world. Newspaper, May 30, 1912, Page 8

te a i { | Mee Gace ESTABLIAHED BY JOBRPH vain a 00 Published Daily Except Suniay by the Prews Publiching Companys, ert Oe Park How. New Yark RALPH PULITZER, Prostitent, 6% Park Row, 1, ANGUS EHAW, Treamécer, 62 Parke Row. JOSHI PULATZER, Jr, Secretary, 41 Park Row — ——_————— — ——— ee ad eneowers Bntered at the Poat-CyMice at New York ax Gecond-Class Mattel wea TTT At th POR Me ing pier Pneland ard the continent and ‘World for the Tnited States AlL.Courttrien in the International and Canada. Pastal Union. @ . $3.50 One Year.... One Lear. o+ came. je Month, VOLUME 52 THE WILLING WITNESS. T": “richest man in the world”*on the witness stand ecems amiably and volubly torhave:“revealed” a great-many? things that nobody in the leastecared to hear, snd to havesleft his examiner puffing and perspiringsa long way behind the factstthe law- yer was after. Apparently the oil magnate has been innocently doing during the government-compelled dissolution of*his Standard Oil Trust ex- actly what he has been doing for years—leaving everything to subo dinates so trusty that he doesn’t even. imve'to know their names, sign- ing placidly what he ia told to sign, and thanking the powers that everything is being.carried out in exactly “the: right spirit”! | Mr. Rockefeller fairly begged hissoxaminer to press on and “asi him some more”—until the exasperated! lawyeredeciared himself “filled up” with the witness's “professions” and “sincere desires,” All of which might have been foreseen. Did anybody expect the “richest: man in the world,” who holds about the record for a long life of astuteness and keen wits, to climb upon the witness etand and babble forth hie son! and his secrets under no more powerful compul- sion than the probe of the very’kind of lawyer that he himself has produced and trained? What's the use of being “the richest man on earth” if you can't handle your own brand of lawyers? _. THE PHANTOM HERITAGE. A SAD STORY was that of a formerly prosperous woman, well born and widely travelled, who died the other day at Black- well’a Island, penniless and forgotten, after eking out sev- eral years of painful invalidism on slender remittances from friends of better days. Her troubles seem to have begun with the old story of a husband | who lived extravagantly, made everybody think he was wealthy and, then died leaving his widow penniless. The comment of the mission worker who was apparently this woman’s only friend at the last is | probably true: “New York has hundreds of places where the rich may go in their extremity. It has hundreds of places where the poor may go in theirs. But it has no place where women such as this one} may turn.” Only the other day a woman left $1,125,000 to take care of bank- | rupts and their destitute daughters. Would it be possible without | encouraging improvidence for some one to establish a fund or refuge available for widows and children of men who spend lavishly while they live, let their families become accustomed to luxury and belief in an assured future, and then die leaving behind them only delt and despair? +—-——-_—_— NOT DECORATION DAY. OR the forty-fifth time the Northern States formally observe F Memorial Day. To New York belongs the credit of having been the first State to declare the day a legal holiday. The National Government has never made it a national holiday, but Con- gress invariably adjourns May 30 “as a mark of respect to the mem- ory of the illustrious dead.” The custom of the day originated in the habit among Southern women of decorating the graves of their dead soldiors in the spring. On May 5, 1868, Gen. John A. Logan, then Commander-in-Chief of the Grand Army of the Republic, issued the first formal order for the observance of May 30 in the Northern States “for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating tho graves of com- rades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion.” ‘And Gen. Logan expressed the hope “that it will be kept up from year to year.” The Northern States presently took action, and to-day the 30th of May is a holiday in all the States (and in the District of Columbia and Alaska) save Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Caro- lina, South Carolina, Tennessee and ‘Texas, These Fane 3 (the birthday of Jefferson Davis), April 26 and May 10. From Gen. Logan’s use of the word “decorating” sprang the not | unnatural habit of calling the day Decoration Day. In 1882, how- ever, the Grand Army distinctly urged “that the proper designation outhern States appoint variously for the same purpose | iP STAY WERE ir ONSCIBNCE ip the Refs Tells us when to “Break.” that C Muttering 1s No Kind of Music as an Accompaniment for the Job! It's w Fine Little Thing to Feel Fit when they Get Us on the Run! The Gloome Loathe a Man |, who'll Take 'Em on a Brisk Five Mile Walk! Tt fon't the Bright Side that's in Hid- ry A very little Self-Admonition will Stop Ta Lot of that Stuff from being Ladled | Out Elsewhere! There's no use Apologising if you don't Mean to witch the Cut! Thei Heap of Hope for the Zig |ho Can't “Make @ Touch” without Looking Hangdog! or of May 30 is Memorial Day.” ————-7--— MAN died in Leipsic the other day who is said to have spoken A only wher absolutely necessary and then in monosyllablos during the past twenty years, Yet he hardly beat the record of the famous silent Britisher. The latter was once riding with an old and well-trained servant across a bridge. his valet with the query, “Like eggs?” The man answered, “Yer, tir.” Conversation lapsed until a year later, when in crossin same bridge, the master said abruptly, “How?” “Poached, sir the instant reply. He turned suddenly to was t+ Fine sense and exalted sense are not half so useful as common sense. ALEXANDER POPE. Died May 30, 1744. et Ht y Up to Date, that phrase I once heard: A cer: i date, < A certain dis- ag alt bE raphy aie Ungulshed woman made the aforesald Lo remark to a very distingul ve declared “I am the|\, able men What Louie aaid wae thies| N° &t once replied, “Yes, madam, and| the more I see of women think of cats,’ ate, that's my middie nam: the FRENCHMAN, The Retort. ‘To the Editor of The Erening World: A man was recently quoted as saying: | The subway guard in t of “Doge are my hobby.” In fact, 1am in.) T love with my hi os Liga! Clined to agroo with the man who ea!4,| He slams the more { seo of men the moro I| And cute me most apart. 8 dogs,” Here is a version of / BG on worn sere - ie the | more 1) th atl his might | ation Day In New York?" “It's the only place | can keep|that the old buck wee etealing Cupid's | the best Iittie young man Nobody ever M. Break so Big jthat {t Couldn't Eventually ve Lived Down! i cai “Some Day," the Mirage and the Rain- jbow—the Nebulous Three Cards that |Many of Ur Waste a Lot of Time in | Drawing To! Sometimes the Guffy Young Feller who : True Solitude. “How is it you're out of a crowd.” t ‘aN ur! 6S Se. MUMBLING, THERE, [AM INLY MERETTO HELP DUR Tne SiR og ee Coppright, 1012, by The Pres Publishing Co, (The New York World), Brage about Being his Own Boss has to Pull a Lot of that Acrobatic Stuff to Cop the Laundry Kale! Promise YOURSELF—ond the Other Vows will be Unnecessary! Our Ides of the Wietful Gleam ts the Vague Light that Stines in the Bye of By Al Copyright, 1912, by The Pree Pubi AY, all that soft musio gab about being an old man’s dar- ling rather then a young man's slave ts dream etuft!"* volunteered Constance, as she viciously plugged Room No. 912 to to tell them the! motor was waiting. “Nothing to itt’) T asked. “MORGUE train- ing!" was the con- cise reply. ‘Say, T had one of ‘em trailing me for four | weeks, So I ought to know, Oodles of @reen, too! Just waving in the breeze from every pocket in his clothes. Real currency that you didn't have to bite. But, oh, he had shirred places un- and his porcelains wiggled when he talked and did « regular turkey | trot when he laughed real hard! Not to speak of the akating rink dome and the tired feeling in his knees!” “Didn't the things his money bought make up for all of uhat? “There's nothing on earth going to | make up for worn out upholstery when you're furnishing @ brand new fat!’ And with this eryptic remark Con- stance-of-the-Gold-tiair gave me food for thought. “Til tell you all about him. Then you can judi ene confided, after a mo- ment, ‘tHe must ‘a’ ® swell tallor, ‘cause when he was standing atill hie shoulders looked O, K., and you never'd have thought his knees were made of @elatine, But the minute he started to @ or the dog ketcher or @ j@ had that lost-soul shuffle, “I never thought the old gent had cast his hooks for my sure-enough heart, at firet. I thought I reminded him of The Conquests t~— 1 Of Constance (SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR AT THD HOTEL RICH.) the Invertebrate who says he ts “Going to Cut Out that Boose Thing Some Day!" Acknowledge it if you're Lécked—the Winner will Attend to the Advertising of itt Sometimes the B'Gee Bully who Brags ma Woodward ishing Co, (The New York World), @ green transfer! But, I figured, why should I be loony and give up all the cracked Ice and yellow metal he was epreying me with, just because he wasn't you jough to eat cigarettes and wear fad-clothes? 80 I hung on to Grandpa! “Well, after a while I got eo many Presents from him, Ma's life was made miserable waiting for burglars to break in and clean all the karat stuff out of the place! And I thought I ought to sive him something in return, Just a ttle something, you know. Go I em- brokered him an elegant white, French flannel chest protector. Only Ma told the woman the wrong thing to stamp on it, and when it came T had to embroider ‘Rest in Peace’ on tt. She thought it was such A appropriate title for an old man, she said. “And aay, when I give tt to utm he ‘waa wo doggone mad he like to chewed my ear off! An’ he says he never wears [nothing but the finest ell underwear, an’ that he ain't ne subject for the pine box yet, not by @ Jong shot—ap’ every- thing Mke that! “Well, we patched up that fuss, gut about two days after along comes Grandpa with a chicken on his arm. I swear that kid wasn't more'n’ sixteen— and flossy, s You know the kind of squad that needs mushrooms in the Gressing? ‘Well, this was it! “First I thought she was the fifth gen- eration, an’ he was taking her to the Photographer's to have’ his face pulled ‘with here; but in @ minute he rolls up es bold as you pleases and introduces her as Miss Crystal Lapell of the ‘Cham- pagne Corkers' Company. to you felt ike ringing for an eam-| “Bo then, of course, I see it was only the fresh-from-the-incubator atyle he was looking for, An’ as I object to be- ing @ barnyard product I canned him! * An’ let me tell you Jt'e me for the fellow who's streng om his gine, even though there's not so much filthy lucre dear litt randebild what had croaked Ing Deco! with ecariet fever or something like|dates for the Methu: that. And when I tottered to the fact jatuff, why, you could have bought me for Clud for little galng to be slave that was ever coined! Got met” © Connie! No, air! Here’ Copyright, 1912, ty The Press Publishing Cov (The rf ‘New York World), | WHO HAS A SUFFRAGE HAT FOR MRS. JARR? ‘T you'd seen the wav Clara Mud- ridge-3mith has her suffragette | . & hat trimmed tt would make you sick!” remarked Mrs, Jarr when the {family had gathered for a character- butlding (and maybe tearing down) con. versation after dinner. ‘m glad I can’t see St, if it would have the effect of making me iil,’ “You know what I mean! I wish you wouldn't pick me up the way you do jevery time T speak to you!” cried Mra. |Jarr. “How can I have any control of {the children when they hear you speak mot of Invention,” said Mr. Jaret. But’ never heard of it being the mother of matrimony.” “Well, marriage ts @ luxury with some people I know, It's a luxury with th man Dinksion,” said Mrs, Jarr. never done a stroke of work &! married, and he composes poetry worse than ever. “Did he ever do’a stroke of work ber fore he married” |that way? It ts no wonder little Emma told me to ‘Shut up!’ just this very da Mr. Jarr came near saying “Did you?” jbut, just in time, boys, just in time, he jcaught himself and sald “Ahem!” 8, T punished her good," Mrs. Jarr [went on, “but, said, they got it | from you." “You ware going to tell me about the Suffragette hat.” “It was one of the thirty-nine cent ones that were worn in the Suffragette ; Parade, Just to show people that wom- jon Weren't extravagant, It doesn't look oad at all. But then, Clara put $2 worth of tulle on it and one of those |Papiiiion, or butterfly, ornaments on It | that are all the rage from Paris “They don't look bad at all when they are trimmed expensively, and they make lovely summer hats for the coun- try, or they can be worn wi:lle automo bile riding. I wish we had an automo- bile. “Mrs. Dinkston would let me have the hat she bought for the parade, should give it to me, after ali we ha done to her—I mean all we have done FOR her. “Did you hear that her husband had run away again? And she's like a crazy woman, doesn’t know where he 1s, and says she doesn't care, and she's jfunning around looking for him every where. When I thiak what a change was made in her disposition by her | third marr: I sometimes wonder if Women have good sense. And yet somebody sa!d in the papers the other day thet marriage wasn't a luxury, it “I'm sure I do rot know the paste of your friends and I'd better not Inquire.” replied Mra, Jarr, shortly, “But what I was trying to tell you, only you inter: rupt me go, is that if we go any place this summer It would be nice if I had one of those Suffragette hats to wear out in the sun. TI think ft looks cute tu fee A woman attending to her flowers round her summer cottage—for if we had a summer cottage I know you wouldn't attend to a thing. “It would be just the same ff we had & vegetable garden. I'd have to attend to that, too! Well, I wouldn't mind that because they are selling bungalow gar- den costumes {n the stores, challies and other figured prints, all wash fabdrics, ready-made in the old Dolly Varden styles, that have all come back agalh, If I had Mra, Dinkston’s Suffragette hat and one of those Dolly Varden costumes for light flower or vegetable gardening we might rent a bungalow somewhere, and the least you could do would be to stay around and protect me from cows" uu with your Suffragette hat in the sun, And dressed a la Dolly Varden, While I reclined on the stoop with @ gun to keep the cows out of the garden?” chanted Mr. Jarr. “Here comes Mrs. Dinkston now. I'll ask her for the hat!” cried Mrs, Jarr, rising up as the door bell rung. When she broke the request to Mra Dinkston that lady burst into tears. “Angelo, the wretch, wore {t when he ran off the other day!” cried Mrs. Dink- was @ necessity.” | “I have heard that necessity !s the Interviews NO. 25.—CUPID’S | PHILOSOPRY. 6 EITHER N is it easy nor often posable,” and Cu- pid paused long enough’ to punch the couch pillows that he Begins where you Leave Off Sets Bogged at the Barrier! They've Gotta Show.Us that There's {nto more com- Any Disgrace in Storting Anything fortable shapes, that we Can't Finteh! but not long enough to permit Mr. Gordon or Wasted ‘by ‘Perotos who Iareging that myseit to get tn a they can Ptacete Fate! word, ‘to change the little estimates of a little mind, even when the emotions are not in- volved. ‘Such @ man cannot unde: After you Teke that Inventory of Yourselt Begin to Re-@tock! nd a big ‘The Biudgeon of the Bogie Man is Only Stuffed with Totten Batting! motive, because he himself is too emall. “He does not believe in another man's Justice, because he himself is unjust. be- “He does not believe in truth, he (a liar. not believe there honest men in the world, b himself in a knave, “He scoffs at the goodness of women, because the women for whom he cares are not 00d. “He cangot bear to hear honest men praised, because honest men never praise him, “He does not belleve in greatness, be- eause he is too little even to conceive of greatness. ‘The Man who Knows How to Bring his Teeth Together with « Click is in No Danger of Losing his Nerve! Instead of Trying to Flag the Unftat- tering Facts Start @ New Collection! A Lot of us Need a Wrench to tighten up the Loose Talk! We've got to Learn how to Get from Under before we can Land on Top! By Barbara Blair. Asthor of “‘The Journal of a Neglected Balidog.”” age f “Bo why do you care what such @ There's never any Price against the| man says or thinks of you? In it that Horse that can Win under @ Pull! =| you value his judgment, dolleve in his . week his good will? ‘When “They 6 Reneety: cere cle a the Best we Can, & Boost! if ue that we “Do Never Meant for Every Man may “Have his Price’~ but the Really Wise Zig avoids that Kind ef Cain! > Where Divorce Blooms. An Idle Threat. HN," he erted tragically, "then rou fe wT oe, be ed tor my bated. rival! MAT the old customs of Japan are ‘ep,"* she answered coldly, but col- passing away and the Empire is |toguiaily, ‘Yep to bot questions.” I have rapidly becoming civilised, | EHla! ‘Then T owe the fellow 4 artge. 1 have ‘owed him $10. 4 aaa ‘et once and he will fall dead iis cigarette at the hall gas jet. he departed with © mocking laugh, But the beautt: fal ei wes not alarmed, She knew he could terer carry out hie devilish edheme, For she knew that he never bed $10 at once in his whate life, — Cleveland Plain Dealer, Le Very Ignorant. Sue Fe hefore his death the late Chief Jus. preaided at e church conference, te, Nal Meroe of a heated dene and more slowly, Christiamtsed, is not born: out by the fect, for the dark aide of |“, Japan ts turned aside by those who vielt there. A writer in the Misstonary Intelligencer, of Cincinnati, long a resident in Fukushima says: “Idolatry till prevails, The tenacity with which they cling to the family gods in some) homes supposed to be Christian shows that {dolatrous customs have a strong hold on them. Here in Japan the di- vorce rate is three times as high as in America, and then not all the separ- ations are counted. The people are wofully addicted to the use of liquor derstand the his motancett interrupted th ‘Wall, yee,” was the Chie Tustice, + "you ca put | arti tobacco. All the grocery etores tt sou want ¢ | keep che stuff. AN the care are| ‘My Poare to aay, tina." aid the Chiet| smokers. When we ride in the train we | Justice, in hi tes fare stifled by the tobacco smoke, A lot | the member tae a good deal to thank God for, Hampton Magasine. of the women smoke as well as the men. Lorene em ‘There 1 much drunkenness, Japan also ‘on. heads the list of nations in regard to A Teutonic Opini the number of suicide! NDREW CARNEGIE tells 0 tale about A toking © German finencter travelling in ‘America on @ visit to Niagara Falla, —_—————— A SHARP SHOPPER. Galesman — Now, here, madam, te o Diece of goode that speaks for itself; I-— Custamer (interrupting)—-Then suppose you keep quiet a moment and give it o jchance,—Boston Transcript. « jerment and enthudesm, was not a little Eres th awe hia, Teutonic. friend. stand jane solidly minute after minute upon that [iting cataract without evincing the faintest liy, unable, as he sdmtts, ony longer to conces! ie chageia end disappoiniment, Ms, Hi 4 The Day’s Good Stories ‘The millionarire, sarustomed to burs of won: | i ston, “He sold it to a bootblack for toa cents as a genuine Panama!” With Cupid Coprright, 1912, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York World), “Tho really BIG people of the world,” and aitting up among the cushions, Cus Pid etared at us earnestly, “are those who without the power to c: LOVE the poet for his dreams, the artist for his visions, and the musician for his song, The poet sings as the woodland thrush, not because ho would, but be- cause he ML And in his sqgng al- ways there will be much that hi Well as heals. He ts the messenger of Truth. And whether he would or not, he must give her message, Sometimes he turns away, tries not to hear her voice; sometimes he 1s hardly brave enough for her message, for Truth must lash 4s well as comfort. He would so much rather be loved than hated—poor poet!—but he ts only the mouthpiece of Truth or he 1% no poet. And that in why he {s loved only by those great enough to feel neither envy for his gift nor bitterness for the hurt in his message. ‘And [ tell you," and Cupld punched a pillow with a pink emphatic fist, “thone are the people 1 love, ‘Those are the ones for whom I do the most, Give ME the man and the woman with GREAT HEARTS rather than with great minds, A mind ts much tke @ flower-bed. You can plant what you will; and with care and thought a pretty nice sort of @ flower-bed will the result, But a heart ts 1 sea- shell with the sound of the sea in it, which nothing may change." “No, you are wrong, Cuptd,” sala 1, “often have I seen ‘a change of heart.’ " “So have I," smiled Cupid, tleularly in that month, June. ris as “and par- Carnegie tumed to his companion and asked Don't you think that's @ wondertul al ot!" asked the German, ‘Why, that gigantic body of water pouring over that lofty prect ‘The gentlewan from the Fatherland stood for © few eeconds longer, then looked up blankly and asked: hinder {t?""—Lop Angeles 1, vot's to Herald, ee How He Got His Syrup, NEW YORKER who put up at » country hotel in the Middle West wi Dressed by the deft skill of « who attended 1 i ras much tm- Deak waitress At she waved a Bari will you have {t—round an’ round ei e, but I don't" —— * round or in a puddiet* a—-puddie, 1 Whereupon the golden ream descent to the ¢ of the cakes, o Bowed, the sattins = Yorker’ In a contemplative glance, “some prefers it round an’ round," phe ex. plained, “but T likes it best in @ ‘puddle, Harjec's Magazine “ay >. According to His Folly. ONES came ial ty eyes embraced the downtown the other morn a with 1 swollen forehead, ed the contusion with appen, old mani” H with the “hatrack last ight," abd iv. nidentally!"* asked Brig cio, Belen,” replied Jones oveetiy. 1 have every reason to suspect that tt a poeely,"—-Xouth's Companion, canon me ia