The evening world. Newspaper, September 18, 1911, Page 15

16, 1911. The Evening World Daily ng Magazine, Monday, September Wy a * * Be ae By Clare Victor Dwiggins | [Fables of Ophelia; or, Wunst Upon a Time Copsright 1011, by The Preas Publishing Os. (The New York World), ALL You Hane To Do \s SAY SOMETHING. , “| WAGER. IF T Cound TAU “TWeyD Heep ME IN A CAGE — TALL 1 CAR DO \scluck A \ YD LiKe’ \ A (LAO an Ecc! (LAID An Eact [LAO An eco! \ _utTe $ (Lae AK Eoc! | Mi, en AHO WHEN SHE LEARNED, SWE WENT AROUND TELLING— Evert Trina s4e. KNOWEO— | Babbling Bess | 5 Copyright 1911. by The Press Publidting On (The New York World). TWere Was. A CHichen, WHAT WANTED To TALK So sxe AsHED Miss Parrot To stow HER How—— Ano SUR@ GNOWGH~ THEY PuT HeR IN A CAGE. THE GREATER CONEY It Conjures Up Fond Memories Which Reunite Two Hearts Estranged. BY O. HENRY. Pl *‘Modern Marriage”. es\ Oid-Fashioned: ere \ Comedy in Disguise. BY CHARLES DARNTON. | FTER all the eternal triangles and divorce jangles that have disturbed the| pence of the theatre since the beginning of alimony, Advanced Matrimony ought to offer fresh possibilities. .No doubt. mores'than one thwarted ‘week-endor carried this hope with him to the Bijou Theatre on Saturday night. But the chief trouble with “Modem Marriage” was that {t talked all-round the subject, instead of getting down to funny.situations .It,proved almost as “gaboy" as the Lady of the Lilies who arrived from Erance earlies in the day. | One gordi situation might have saved the play by bringing it out of-a ot! smal! talk, amusing enough at times but rather thwsome, in the long run of tongues. The atmosphere, too, was so foreign that even a giimpse of Central) Rark could not make us {eel perfectly at home. ‘ | | “And ‘twas a pu nd ‘twas there that Moran Fiyme led] jay,” said Dennis | f | Carnahan, “I'll be after i 7 ] going down to eee the n | } Coney Tstand that’s risin t was Coney as we loved it, and es Nke @ phoenix bird from|the hand of Satan was upon it, friendly the ashes of the old resort. |and noisy and your money's worth. j ay _ In taking @ good idea from the German, Harrjson Rhodes made the mistake of bringing with it a decided Teutonic spirit, Perhaps, be couldn’t shake it oft— that's the bother of adapting plays! Anyway, there it wag, and there it re mained through three acts, iu spite of excellent, stage, settings, The-author Bever got away from it. ’ a” st There was nothing new, of course, in-the taming of the young wile by the huaband’s going her ene better every time she start- ed to kick over she | ., domestic traces, but there was some pov: | éity in the jdea of marriage with all the latest’ improveth t women, no’ ‘days ‘ike td talk about when ‘they aren't actually shout- ing the battlecry of | freedom “However, , the novelty soon wor off, leaving. “Modern Marriag merely yned comedy ta disguise, * It was all too easy for the husband who Posed as the author ef a book on mar- riage. Phere never was any doubt of ability to change wife's ultra - modern mind in the end As for the red-cov ered boo’ itself, which was forever being ‘cofttulted as the last’ word In matrimonial argu-| 4 ments, the wife might | cypil Seott? have gained tho evar ana S) lasting gratitude of a mity Stevens Y patient audience by throwing '* t her ' husband's head) This qfD@ Of Cpmininity became as irritating as tho proverbial ref It Waen't @ bad plan for Cornelius to agree to everything Victoria proposed and by-eppiying the homeopathic method in allopathic doses bring her round to the good old-fashioned point of view, but the play would have been far more omic possibilities greater if Virginla had trumped Cornelius's fonally—somewhat as the wives did in “Is Matrimony a Failure? In Americanizing the play Mr. Rhodes evidently forgot that domestic arrange- ments in Germany are a t ore lordly than those in this country. ‘The result | waa that the domestic atmosphere of this alarmingly Independent quarter-of the globe was never for a moment suggested. Qaly clever lines kept the argument from seeming wholly one-sided, as, for! example; ‘No woman can ever love any man as much as the hates her own| husband.” Further proof that the spirit of woman siill lived’ came with the report that a man had hugged his wife so hard that he had broken two of her ride in this plactd comment: “After all, one bas quite a number of ribs!" Other Mhes tovching upon separate bedrooms and equally intimate matters went pretty far-all the way back to Germany tt would seem;.1f you happened to be of a} suspiplous turn of mind, But it must be admitted that Cornelius was always arizious to please. He was quite ready to adopf-a child. In his opinion no gentleman would put his wife to the trouble of—ahém! To return to highly moral ground, there w & very good gpinster, the real author, of the inevitable book. In drawing this ‘character the German play wright may have had in mind that knowing Swedish spinster, Ellen Key, whose! ‘qove and Marriage” took Germany by storm several years’ ago. ‘Tho plain, | drab litle creature whose lookr belied her purple view was dleverly portrayed by Mire Margaret Seddon Qyril Scott acted the young husband with the assured, glib, patronizing placence that has become his st hallmark. Like him, Miss Emily Stevens, | ae the wife, did not n quit a H harp personality robbed the role of the charm {t required, but her cool intelligence enabled her to « aa certain clear-cut quality y attractive and F es drily | amusing a3 anc ned, Wowever, little more than al counterpart of Cor rt Gran, who knows how to Jo a gnooth thing smoot rly, fo je empty part of an un The play at the J 1 judged as a comedy “Mod Marfiage’ cannot be sald to be wedded to its art I WAS AT THE OFFicg THIS I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN’ BUT I WONT DO IT AGAIN: LL the neighbor wimmin don't) Rave much use for Old Fork. They say he tz one ov them kind ov men that makes his wife mad and then refuses to quarrel with her. Perrin Kelly says he can take « drink of whiskey that would kill a man at twenty yards, and never feel it. (COME UP TO THE HOUSE, B)LL, HES ONLY BEEN TAKING LESSONS FINE TEARS! . Interesting Lils of Information, — t Ger- ordinarily used by the Deyatas (heavens jerman-| y beings) of Hindoo mythology | Améng the relics in the anci mantown Mennonite chur wn avenue, above [lerman street, — Philadelphia, ts a tombs: on which] The ratio of deaths to births among this sentence is Inscribed: “Ly Georgy, | chidren under one year of age in Mose It'a Cold.” cow in 19 reached the staring lgure ef #210 a thousand. In Montreal it ts ment has under nb Dresden, 152; in Boston, 148; Glass for rendering the BOW, 187; N lgavie | Sterdam, 87; Sydney, Australia, 63. Dnlepe! by means of a system of sluice | ‘ weer |) Austfinh fartiers haw) taken to breed! Hindoo belief and lore alike strongly | Ne opossums: for their tur, by way of aoeia | Wulixing tinkdred s@otlons*Of their tand hold''that “aerial navigation is mot the) Wisc) have lutte walus otherw: It new'thing that It te claimed to be in! Leen gourd uma ach ‘ani Hufope! It is paid that aeroplanés of be red to Grodwue Welles, gray, brown some sort or other were the conveyance or black fur, peseieds ist York, 128; Paris, 103; Am- ( | | de gooa they must be a good G-o-o-d N-i-g-h-t! HE RECITES T WANT To Show You A BRIGHT BOY. BEAUTIFULLY! You MUSTHEAR Hin PLAY THE PIANO! The Hedgeville Editor By John L. Hobble OO menny parents think that ee A N ounce ov exaggeration te good | | family. ope by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York World), NOW, WILLIE,RECITE “ MY NAME 1S NORVALY ISNT HE MARVELOUS?) eae ( cn! ‘J for @ pound ov trudble in enny By Ferd G. Lon (HE wTTe ) ee hs FOR MR. JONES. +) é KE REYNOLDS saye that after you have been married a few | years pleasin’ your wife doesn't de | pend 0 much on what you call her a9 what you don't call her. There ain’t many of us that would be willin’ to back up, even for a year, and doy all them foolish things over again, ne) rH we | nor Ss \\ ye’ "a? GO-O-D el NEP GH-T! I'm going with Norah Flynn, and we'll fall victims to all the dry goods de ceptions, from the red-flannel eruption of Mount Vesuvius to the pink silk ribe bons on the race-suldide problems in the incubator kiosk. ‘Was i there before? I was I was © last Tuesday. Did I see the hts? 1 aid not. “Last Monday I amalgamated myself with the Bricklayers’ Union, and in accordance with the rules I was ordered to quit work the same day on account of a sympathy strike with the Lady coma, Washington. “LT was disturbed in mind and pro- clivities by losing me job, bein’ already harassed in me soul on account havin’ quarrelied with Norah Flynn & apoken at the Dairymen and Street Sprinkler Drivers’ semi-annual ball, caused by Jealousy and prickly heat and that divil, Andy Coghlin, “Bo, I saya, it will be Coney for Tues- day; and !f the chutes and the short change and the green-corn silk between the teeth don’t create diversions and get mo feeling better, then I don't know at all “Ye will have heard that Coney has received moral reconstruction. The old Kowery, where they used to take your tintype by force and give ye knockout drops before having your palm read, te now called the Wall street of the tsl- and. Tho wienerwuret quired by law to keep @ ‘em; and the doughnuts ai every four years by @ retired steamboat inspector. “The nigger ma: ad that was used by the old patrons to throw baseballs at f# now Mlegal; and, by order of the Police Commissioner the man drivin’ an automobile has been substituted, I hear the old tmmoral amusements ha’ mn suppressed. Peo- ple who used to go down from New York to sit in the sand and dabble in surf now give up thelr quarters to eeze through turnatiles and see imi- tations of city fires and floode painted on canvas. “The reprehensible and degradin’ re- that disgreced old Coney are sald to be wiped out. The wipin'-out process consists of raisin’ the price from 10 cents to 2 cents, and hirin’ a blonde named Maudie to sell tle tend of & Tuesday. 1 arts for the ® fine sight, The the Hindoo root Jons was blazin’ with thousands of jectric lights, and the streets was thick with people. a true thing they say that Coney levels all rank. I see mil- Honatres eatin’ popcorn and trampin’ along with the crowd; and I see eight- Gollars-a-week clothin'-store clerks in red automobfles fightin’ one another for who'd squeeze the horn when they come to a corner. TL made a mistake,’ T says to myself. ‘Twas not Coney I needed. When « man's sad ‘tis not acenes of hilarity he wants, 'Twould be far better for him to meditate in a «raveyard or to attend {eervices at the Paradise Roof Gardens. ‘Tis no consolation when & man his sweetheart to order hot corn and have the waiter bring him the pow- fered sugar crust Instead of salt, and then conceal himself, or to have Zozoo- kum, the gypsy palmist, tell him that he hag three children and to look out for another serious calamity; price twenty-five cents, "T walked far away down on the beach # of an old pavilion near new park. A year ago tha n waa standin’ up straight to the rut corner of old pavi niokel and callin’ you ‘cully’ friendly, and vice was ram- pant, and you got back with enouxh bridge. Now they tell me nerve W its on Surf avenue and jyou get the nt change back in the movin’ picture Joints “T sat down at one @ide of the old pavilion and looked at the surf spread- lin’ itself on the beach, and thought about the me and Norah Flynn gat on that spot last summer, "Twas before reform struck the island, and we was happy. We had tintypes and chowder in |the ribald dives, and the Egyptian Sor. R I was waitin’ tn the that ‘twould be the luck of her Salmon Canners’ Lodge, No. & of Ta |» week before by reason of hard words! guy of at "| eyes tla told Norah out of! + “I gat with my back to the where they had the moon and the dreams and the steeples led, and Jonged for the old Coney. There whan't many people on the beach. Lots seegeisee is neta iein late the eet machines to seq “1 ‘rupted Court- ebip’ in the movin’ plotures: nda & pounded on the bass drum in front. “and ly I get up and walked along the old pavilion, and there on the other side, half im the dark, was a aittin’ on the tumble-down timbers, and unless I'm a Iiar she was cryin’ by hereelf there, all alone. ‘Ia 1t trouble you are in, now, Miss.’ fa ig what's to be done about it? “And it was the voice o! than Norah Flynn, Mester: “Then it's not.’ say 1, ‘and we're af- ter having @ pleasant evening, Mise Fiynn. Have ye seen the sights of this Uncte Tim they are waiting beyond. ‘Te an elegant evening I've had. Fve seen all th ‘action image of | cool chutes? I asks. “True, then, I'm afraid of r says Norah, ‘They make such nebe t my ears. But Uncle Tim, he shot them, he did, and won cicars. "Tis o fine time we ay is day, Mr. Carnahea.’ “I'm you've enjoyed yersai®’ 1 nays. uppose "ve bad @ reasin’ |fine time seein’ the sights. And how 41d |the Incubators and the Be ae | t e_seen In a long ttme, at all’ ‘Did you see Venice? says L “"We did.’ says she ‘She wee.e beauty. She was all dressed tm red, she was, with,—- “I Mstened no more to Norsh Fiyan | stepped up and gathered her & my arme. ““Tis a storyteller ye are, Morah Fiynn,’ says 1. ‘Ye've seen no more lof the greater Coney Island than T If, Come. now, tell the truth to att by the old pavilion by last summer a heppy man. Speak up, and tell the truth’ “1 despise tt, Denny,’ cryin’. ‘Mother and Uncte Tim went to nee the shows, but I came down here lte think of you. T couldn't bear the |iehte and the crowd. Are you fer aiven’ me, Denny, for the words we r ““Twae me fault,” says I. T came here for the same reason meself, Look Md! qt the lghts, Norah,’ T says, turning | my back to the seo | “*Phey are, with hh minin': "and do ye hear the bangs playin’? Oh, Denny, I think I'd Ike to tt all! “he old Coney ts gone, dartin’, 1 says to her. ‘Everything moves, When a ‘a not scengs of sa@pess "Tis a greater Coney we . but we couldn't see tt ttt! we kot In the humor for tt. Next Sunday, Norah darlin ll see the new plaee from end to end. | A PRIORI REASONING, | “Er don’t see what's the use of my Ge ing vaccinated again,” sald Tommy, tan ling his arm for the doctor, | “The human body changes every seven years, Tommy," replied his mether. 4 are eleven years old now, You | were tn your fourth year when you were vaccinated frat, and {t has run out” to marry a red headed gossoon with two| “Well, I was baptized when I was a crooked legs, wad I was overrunnia’ With Joy on account of the allusion, baby. Has that rus out teof=dfan- tucket Ingutres, r he wave, halt