The evening world. Newspaper, September 16, 1911, Page 11

Fables of Ophelia; or, Wunst Upon a Time WPARARA. AANA RARER ARIA AARAARALAD RAD PARRLD A) PSP RRA OE RRL ROOMBA NRRORAL RD RRR SAD: | Copyright, 1911, b been a fe his backbone HE man who is too ] demanding a right usua OU can't expect to le at nee to t , HE man with hiss f stone ‘isually turns tho { himse!t VEN {¢ A create wo make any bones GIRL born in September fortunate in marriage, bi who is born in that month wil a girl. s° @eroplanes that modest ladies are forced to put bilnds skylights. P the Christians should get Pray for the sinners would WOPLE become like what they eat, ¥ and there i too much pork being consumed. man in front is {n the by ton to be kicked. sayings of to-morrow, many wicked men are riding in "HE wit of to-day will be the wise ‘1 h e uvenin T Go’ He 1s Ae Thiags Not Generally Known, By John L. Hobble. The Press Publishing Co, (The New York World), N the deginning woman might have man's rib, but to-day she BORGE’S cherry tree is gradually becoming a chestnut. GUCCESS depends largely upon your ability to go without something to eft, [eat until you reach the end of the \rainbow, ease by sitting in the lap of luxury, unless you ttand for something. DISTINGUISHBD sclentist now tells us that the beet contains no more blood than the turnip. © grind- hand}, IOGENES stole the lantern he used in looking for an honest man. |]T takes a genius to conduct himeelf in they know him. will be erary barbers who spend the time it a boy |{n cutting the whiskers off of old jokes. I marry ‘OU should do whom you would be done by. HEN a doctor finds that there is no younz change in his patient he quits call- on thelr nothing. all they waste: OTING for some candidates for a second term is like turning the other cheek, est post- “Dear! dear! t “Yep, she p-promised—boo hoo!—at 1) kre* from the Now, that's too bad.” c'u'd do it."—The Pathfinder. E WAS A Litre. |4 a wast to please the people who think | OME humorists are, in fact, but Nt. ing because he can't afford to work for | , woria Waily Magazine, Saturday, GIRL WHAT ROPA, BENZ iL HER SBRIES. Copyright 1011, by The Press Publishing Co. (Ths New Yer World), PHD WHEN He SAT ON (T SHe JusT KAUGHED AND LAUGHED SO HARD 16, ping? pone bes eva’ oONNS CONG Twat IT MAD SHE HAD TH THHE A LOT SICK AN! HER Sick AN By Clare Victor Dwiggins NASTY MEDICINE 1911. ¥ cabbage comes The Moral. a“ HF, persistency with which children see in @ fable some other moral than the one which is intended that they shall see is often distressing,"’ remarke a Philadelphia inetruc- tor of the young, ‘I had recited to ome little boy the story of the wolf and the lamb, and hed followed it up with the remark: “And now you see, Tommy, that the lamb would not have been eaten by the wolf bad he been good and sensible,’ ‘Yee, 1 understand,’ said Tommy, ‘If the lamb had een poet and aematbia we uhould, have had him to eat.’ —Lipnincott’s Magazine, >. A Strange Sight. TRAVELLER who was “seeing Ireland” in a gual cart berated the Irish driver for ! missing a sight in a pert of Dublin. A few yards further and the cart came to a stop, which almost threw the passenger out. | did you stop so suddenly?” asked the An’ there's a milestone," came the an- from Pat. jut what is ther questioned the “Shure,” spoke 0 two o' them together go ng It Was “‘De Second Time.” A. MASSENGER 00. 8 New York-Clereland sleeper, on awakening in the . found ‘under his berth one black shoe and Jone brown one. He cailed the porter and directed | ,, hia attention to the error. The porter scratched bis we ead in utter bewtlderment. said the exasperated passenger. “What's eles Times. wi hand, over, “Hello, there, Theodore,” said « friend, meet- ing the barrister and his family in the street car, {range about a milestone?" inhtseer. “an’ ye seldom see jadelphia Times, T however, unaba: Knew She Would. MINISTER who vas noted for his absent | mindedness in small country village was once observed to stop suddenly in the mid- die of his sermon and heard to wurmur she would. I knew she would After the service some one “L knew cheerity fon. “Dear we," said he, pitt can ju Smith's ganten, | pulling a cabbage, “out "Now if that ind 1 thought Golf @ rina rks cesinagaa 2 ies of Dimple Duncan (3) | 4 uddenly ll ge Just then it came up, and over she went,"—Ideas, Po Bw Koby Wise Saw. MBASSADOR JAMES BRYCE was talking at & reception abolition of English school. lewaaore Cn Bd ie hitherto be. le trong! em A y extremity t4 4 teaches’s fopportualta, ‘ ae od lpia He Knew! A LOUISVILLE barrister escorted hie wife and fe's annoyance disappeared. He was on owever, been to the lecture!”’ in wifes face, faba cflcezy He Was Willing. HERE wee recently haled into an Alabama court a little Irishman to whom the thing was a new experience, d hal Whereupon the Celt looked them box over caretully and with a skilled aye," ‘M ‘Well, 1 tell se," he finally replied, “Ol'm Now exclaimed the | Dot exactly in trafuin’, porter. mornin’ dat r dat mistake (tan Magazine, | comer."—Lippincott’s off _a round or two with that ft old boy in th’ a Lots of Hunting. ME talk had tured upon hunting and by | by one of the adult visitors, noting Jamie's rapt and eager look, remarked one s and ‘tn Washington about the ‘birching’* et Eton, tho fa- Tom afraid that an when the meeting was ‘The lawyer stole a 1, “Just going." —Success, wore an air of © meh he worst of it."* * called out the clerk, ge any of the jury?” and th but O1 think Of could pull —By— F. Long “Want to go to the ball game to-mor- Your Pa an’ MA AINT Swat $| Lite MY PA AN' MA. AtL Tee TS6-Bucs COMB To OUR +House: Ho PoP!! Leave (7 BiGcer Bues 1N Un Use Jimmy Jinirs AS IN— S’Matter, Pop? % % By C. M. Payne} Copyright, 1011, by The Press Publishing Co. (The New York World) row?" “No; Pittsburgh Post. I'd rather go to the matinee. Just for the Fun of It. ‘ Monsieur Faux Pas—Ah, so thls !s1 Young Hopeful—Father, I'm sure of a happy ending there.""—| your leet n. He t#—what you say in politics? a chip of old blockhead ?—M. A. D. an iticlan—A w neat and potatoes Nell—How does Miss Antique manage to Tielle—Oh, she suppresses a few birth- days now and then.—Philadelphia Reo- ord. cold. y of day, but y something hot would have do ~Well, andwich at particularly asked for London Opinion ry ye an who to yours? ofa over ‘Let George he — - Do It! ARRAS, anna ne (The New You Copyright, WU, by The Press Publishing Co, | 1 CANT FIND | | eNY ADDS | WY FOR WORK | | LET GEORGE Do'rTt! traitor 1s 4 our party and goes over then, aves his party and comes Vet. Pol—A convert, my son “That fellow is making money hand over fist.” what fs a “I have often predicted ¢hat my wife's vair would be nice and curly at might,” ye the boarding house philosopher, ow did I know? Wihy, I eaw it im the orning papers.”"~Toledo Blade, what is -Tid-B: By George McManus HAVEN'T YOU GONE OUT TO LOOK FOR WORK No, FATHER \ DON'T KNOW WHERE To