The evening world. Newspaper, September 12, 1911, Page 16

Evening The ‘emer World. Published Dally Except Sunday bythe Press Pubishing Company, Nos, 63 to 63 k |. ANGUS SHAW, Pros. ond Treas. JOSEPH PULITZER Junlor, Bec'y. 63 Park Row, 64 Park Row, ! Entered at the Pos -Office at New York as Second-Clast Matter, aBuherrtption Races to The Evening | Por England and the Continent and Forid for ino United States | AN Countries tn, tho International and Conada, Postal Union, One Year see $3.50] Ono Year . $975 One Month 230] One Month BS VOLUME 52... »NO, 18,284 BLOWING OFF STEAM. | T was appropriately in the “Valve | World,” a trade publication, that Mr. Crane of Chicago let off his} thrill blast in the statement that | ninety-five per cent. of the senior men in several of the leading tern universities, igeluding Columbia, are “addicted to the use of liquor” to such an extent that at least fifteen per cent. of them are likely to bring up in the bread line or the alcoholic wards of public institutions under chargo of the Charitics and Corrections. The dissipation statistics for Chicago University he does not give, but if they are worse than hi Harvard batch he may well hesitate. This sort of safety-valve blowing makes a disturbing noise while | it jasts, but it nced not alarm any one. It would be just as easy to frame up a categorical statement that ninety-five per cent. of the col- loge boys are studying themselves to death to keep up with the modern | curriculum and degenerating physically because as a class they neglect | regular exercise at football, rowing and tennis. Only this would not attract so much attention as the comparatively unfamiliar false alarm about “drink.” -—--—4+ . A SUBSTITUTE FOR THE HANSOM. E wore a large brown fedora hat, thepherd’s plaid trousers, with | Vlack morning coat, the whole set off with a collar of great height.” | Such is the description, by wire- | less despatch, of James Hazen liyde, as he walked down Picca- dilly, lamenting the decay of Lon- don’s picturesqueness, as it struck him upon revisiting the British capital after an absence of eight years, , “London has lost a lot of its “picturesqueness,” eaid Mr. Hyde, “the most noticeable thing being the scarcity of horses in the streets. One of the principal features among the attractions used to be London’s hansom cabs, now gone forever, Automobiles may be considerably more useful, but one cannot think without a sigh of regret of the London of bygone days.” He was doing what he could to make up for the loss, but the out: look did not scem promising, so far as London and Paris were con: | cerned. “They still remain the greatest cities in the world, bunt the day is not far off when both will have to give way to New York.” Is this to be interpreted as portending Mr. Tyde’s return to the scene of his former glories? ‘ER a year of triumph and on the tloket cor Tax Collector, becau: Silas 4s the naughty man who got the town Into all its troubles before he and E. H. Baker reformed {t, and he knows {t 1s 80 because R. Jay Walsh told it in open town meeting. So these innocent youths cut Silas out and he gets in on the Jim-Jay tieket, which in turn gets about 100 of his votes, We wonder if Jim hadn't worked some mental science | to land this double throw! much progress for the town the independents of both par tes have been outgeneralled and the “regular: as they , are called, who use the name of Demo-| erat and Republican for trading pur poses, have resumed their former pleas- ‘ant relations, which are as follows; SOOORK Mt, ry R co-sctentist, Dr. BE. F. Bigelow, | for?" iked Smirnow, counting the 381 OF HICK Ghlshe us to wenkat O 's getting ready to put his Ar-| money, “Heavens! Five thousand four A Diwan wentan ie iota cadin on skids and silde tt over to| hundred and forty-five roubles aplece! Washington and T. Jefferson) th¢ new site he has acquired since J.| Boys, such a sum ts enough to kill us, ‘Went to in making this a “fre country, Kennedy Tod ordered him off the map. us out of our wits!” It will be a fine place for the young folks to learn real things about nature, Last year the neighbors kicked, say! Dr. Bigelow's bees bit thetr fruit, and this year many say the same thing, not | knowing that the bees were sold as soon as he got the notice to quit. The truth | Is that bees attack only frult that has| cracked open or been bruised. The | economical \ittle cusses hate to seo it! wo to waste and turn the julces into honey. Jt ts the —_— OW peoplo are going around say- N ing, Isn't Jim Walsh the slick qne? Did you see him up in the Gallery at the Democratls caucus tele- Dathing down to John Boles tn the front it to do what he said, and did you John do it, the same being the tn- Gorsement of Hen Crawford for first temporary Selectman, so that there ts no chance of electing more than one Demo- erat, which insures Wrong & Wright de m ond wasps and! o being kept In as Town Council, which |Pornets that attack sound fruit, The eaten a thing in three days. What do was the bone of contention, We won. | 2e# fertilize the blossoms tn the spring | you say? der what John Lols thinks of himeeit, {324 make themselves generally useful. | “That wouldn't be a bad {dea,” mut keeping Republicans in control of town | TB€Y Should be encouraged, tered Smirnov, “We have plenty of affairs when he wouldn't let Judge —— ey and nothing to eat, Look by Brush run on the Democratic ticket HEF editor of the Greenwich News. P you are younger and s three years ago because the Judgo de T 4s trying to organize some White [than we are, Take a rouble bil out of | clined to vote for the man named Bryan Caps in Horseneck. He sure ts a pocketbook and march off for pro- | once or thrice. Fierce Lyon! na, There ts a village! Do you see, | 1 OME are pec even tn AR No. 1818 of the New Haven! S poult H. B. Stevens, who ts one C road has received a fresh coat of |'* of our atcest reformers, had his paint and varnish, This ts tie ton Wells go to the young Republican | first tmpro of the kind we have|® conference and say that h never stand for putting and pa will | ob orved Mellen became prest as D. Ritch | ¢ Letters From the People |. Weennernmnnnrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntannnnnnl | Regi fon All This Week; U n when I College 23d St, Near 3a A ted. DER. | To the Editor of The Erening World Kindly inform when evening High| To the Biitor of The Eveving World School.registration begins, 1s there any! In conne na for additional | evening Dental Col ge where a young| water supply in New York City where | man can take up dentistry? J. A. house connections already exist, must mGnastaciiian in Sonnet Japplication for additional supply be To the Editor of Tue Evening World: | by a Mcensed plumber or can a house Wil you please print the following owner wen pe _ fad have in your paper, as I should like to get |tiguecions mage? | N. & VORMAN some of your readers’ advice, I am a| 4nen Tit eau, Biwar, young man going to Ca were great man in 1 @ and am thinking off “Ip"en da, but I was told there | {ng school: opportunities for a, young | eXas, il some Kind reader | To the 4) dering taught the even. A BROOKLYNITE, v ot The Ev a World: advise me on this? I was born| If @ stipulated amount ts offered for! in New York: and have worked in the| return of @ lost article, 1s person offer: | same office for the last six years, butiing reward cor ad by law to pay | CONSTANT READER | Tem vot very far auead tp business, ‘same? Translated From the Russian by twenty large bills, a check and @ rece! |for a subscription to a comic journal Fir ment and went into rapture: sald Balalaikin, family, footed any more, ani going to Moscow, straight to Aye ‘Get me a wardrobe ready,’ I'll say, I'l portray villains and fop: occasion by quenching our thirst, behind the mountain, everything th | bread World Daily Magazine, Tuesd ay. September IZ, 1911. Can You Beat It? By Maurice Ketten. O, PLEASE DO Take OP BOTHERING ME, You MASHER . ON T WANT YouR SEAT. 1GET OFF NEXT STATION THE POCKETBOOK. “That's what I call luck!” he reflected on the way, e didn't have a penny awhile ago, now we have @ fortune By Anton Chekhov. Herman Bernstein, }HREB wandering actors, Sm‘r- now, Popov and Balalatkin, walking one beautiful morn- ing along the ratiroad tracks, found a pocketbook, Opening » they saw to their great satisfaction it of all they shouted “Hurral hen they sat down upon an embank- ‘How much docs each of us come tn not so happy about myself,” “as I am about my ‘They shan't starve and go bar First of all, boys, 1 on't want to play peasants a “We ought to cy ebrate this happy arked the leadit.g Juventle Popov, ught to eat something, for we haven't | a white church bout five miles, It's a lar no village, Buy a b pound usages, ‘two nd a herrir took a rou ment, dir ard the village which Was outlined y In the dis Do you see pull find of vodka, T'll go down now to my nativ Kostroma, nd build my own theatre—although some merchant's (A Fable in Prose) | town of will get ogether a company thelr fallin's that need fixin’, A KE REYNOLDS says tt I” better to) E take the blame for everything to do without the love ov a The Hedgeville Editor By John L. Hobble UMe Winmin Iz not able to express good manners was Invented and bas ways stayed ‘bout that far behind, 1 dlls gh me are es ag RYIN' to boat a lawyer at his own game iz like attemptin’ to rob @ the disgust they have for thelr hus} I hornet’s nest, You get the same bands. Them husbands ts lucky. Ite, —— peauls a EB REYNOLDS says t'.t David | LL men are perfect, It tx only Craum was born the year before LL the good ain't out ov a man |’ when ne geis a little comesick at [seein @ piece ov pumpkin pla he) “ qven a good roubles, without assistance. If the | Pocketbook were mine alone, that would | be quite a different matter. I would have put up such an enormous theatre even Lentovsky never dreamed of. To be frank, Smirnov and Balalalktn | re hogs. They will waste the money | On Nonsense, while I would benefit my fatherland and maka myself immortal! Tam going to do this—I will put polson | into the vodka—tet them die! They be dead, but Kostroma will havo a theatre such as Russia has not known before! Macchiavell! said that the end justifies the means, and Macchiaveil! was not more foolish than I. While he was walking, rejoicing tn his reflections, his. companions, Smirnov | and Balalatkin, were sitting and talk. ing. “Our friend Popov ts a fine fellow, said Smirnov, “I like him, but—do you know? This money will ruin him, He will wasto {t on drink, or he will do| something that will put even the devil to shame, He !s too young to have so much money of his own," ‘That's right, sented Batalatkin, “What does the youngster need money | |tor? It's quite @ different thing with jyou and me. Woe are family men— lrettled, With us even a rouble counts. Let us not whimper and be sentimental | about It; let us do away with him. It is a good thing to find five thousand, | but eight thousand are stil! better, Let | us do awWay with him, and when we! get to Moscow we will say that he was/ run over by a train. Are you willing?" “Tam. To bo frank, that youngster [isn't worthy of a better fate, He is an intriguer, a slanderer, a sharper— ber-r- Besides, £0 not to offend him, we will publish in the Moscow [newspapers @ pathetic account of his| Vhey @!4 as they dectded to do.| When Popov returned from the village| with provisions his compantons jumped | on him and killed him. To conceal, any | trace of thelr crime, tney placed the! dead man on the ralls. Having divided | thelr find, the murderers started to eat, fully confident that they would not be| punished for their cn | But, children, virtue always triumphs, and vice !s always punished. ‘Tho! |poison thrown by Popov tnto the bottle \oe vodka was of the kind that acts quickly Before they could drink | another glass they lay breathless on the |tracks, and for the first time in thelr) ‘lives appeared in the role of “corpses,” | An hour later crows were feasting on them, Th you, nowadays you can't bulld barn for five thousa: moral: When there are three of try to avold finding anything. ————— WAY THEY PICTURE 'EM. Iustrator—Great Scott, man! painting that applo an awful Second Ditto-I know it. It's to be used ja @ Burs y stock catalogue— Judge, MSTA AI MY FUTURE Wire. God Only Kriows Who She Is.) ELLEN. | HEN a designing friend of the Widow Brown ta Brooklyn introduced me to ould tt refused flatly, but my experience with the sex had taught me that such @ refusal | at the bidding of another than you would seriously propose shouting your pray- | ers to Heaven from the housetops or in the public streets, | handsome—not too tall, but just measuring to the thou lionger be considered young. oc Y) This Volume Is Afectionately Inscrived to My Dearest Sweetheart of Them All the Only One Who Has Not Jilted Me. avai young woman, 1 called to mind the frequent admonitions f Bad se! e to tine regarding the dangerous and seductive qualities of wide in general, and particularly of widows that were young, sprightly and beau- Uful; such, for Instance, as the Widow Brown. with me Brown had married very young, and when she appeared in company er fifteen-year-old daughter Ellen, the two Jooked more ilke sistors than mother and daughter. One evening I had arranged to take Mrs. Brown to the theatre, and while ehe was getting ready Ellen sat with me in the parior, her hands folded tn her Jap, her eyes downcast and a pretty pout on her Np: “You never ask me to go to the theatre wita yor when I inquired the cause of her dejection. Had I taken her remark seriously I would have deen at a loss how to reply. 80 1 went up to her, and, patting her on the cheek, said that little girls were better off at home and in bed. Then Ellen rose in the majesty of her five feet Aislin + Placed her hands deliberately on my shoulder, and retorted indig- Bantly “I'm nearly os big as you ar 1 thought of Ellen a good deal during the play, and could not help wishing 4 brought her with me. I began to suspect now that my visits to Brooklyn re induced as much by Ellen as by her mother, When the time came to choose my guests for the annual regimental dance Mrs, Brown was my first choice; but knowing that Ellen was fond of dancing £ considered that !t would be heartless to leave her behind, so she was included im my invitation, Ellen was radiant with joy, and though she danced wretchedly, @ great pleasure, I told her, just to be alone with her and to have her in my arms. It was then that I secretly forswore my devotion to Mrs. Brown 4nd gave myself up entirely to the love 1 felt for Ellen, I made an effort, of course, to conceal the true state of my feelings from her mother, but with only partial success, I belleve. Mra Brown tactfully pretended not to notice anything, but sne was not blind, In the month of May we arranged for a little outing In the woods. Mrs. Browa Was to furnish the lunch; Ellen, 1t was understood, would do the talking, and I Was selected to be the guide and leader of the expedition. I conducted my fate companion to a beautiful, retired spot in Sleepy Hollow, my favorite haunt, It was shortly after luncheon was over, I believe, that Ellen and J, in some unaccountable Way, wandered away from Mrs, Brown in quest of violets It was then that I did what was either the most natural, pardonable, justifiable and inoffensive thing in the world, or the most inexcusabie, improper, pernicious apd degenerate act conceivadle, and which of the two it was will furnish matter for eternal dispute between partisans who will never be wanting to champion elther ‘de, 1 caught Elen about the waist and bestowed a chaste salute upon her lips, Not with Ellen's consent, I confess, for when I asked her for a kiss, ahe was her frank reply Was not to be taken serlously, When she attempted, therefore, to glide out ef my grasp, 1 sidestepped adrottly, and impressed a hearty kiss, neatly enough right cn the spot which nature has graven on the human face for that purpose, Now, may heaven defend me it there was anything wrong about that! & pretty girl's lips were made expressly to be kissed, While I stopped at the brook to wasn my hands, Ellen went on and jotmed her mother. When I returned to them I saw at once that Ellen had made good her threat. Her mother regarded me with an icy stare, What's the matter?" 1 asked. “Don't you know what's the matter?” returned Mra, Brown. 1 said that 1 wasn't sure, but that I-had a sort of sneaking idea, My eyes have been opened, that's all,” continued Mrs. Brown. In utter humiliation I assembled our equipment, and silently we walked back to the station at Tarrytown. We had not long to walt for a train; I saw Ellen ond her mother seated comfortably and then (ook the seat Just ahead, with my, back to them, Mrs, Brown, probably relenting somewhat, for she had a kind heart, I know, came and sat beside me and drew mo on to talk of what I had done. If I hed Kissed Ellen at home, she said, in her presence, she would not have minded; Bus to do it on the sly, and especially to ask her not to tell, that was very reprehem- tible indeed, and she Was surprised at me. i “True love,” I explained, “thrives best in secret, and a Kt lacks flavor. I would no more think of Kissing one I loved in the pr ‘Mine is the sanctu- ary of Venus; love !s my worship and {ts ceremonial @ kiss, To you tt seems wrong that I should kiss Ellen tn ecret; but I hoid myself more deeply wronged that she should tell you of it. Before long I had sufficiently recovered from iny disaffection to renew my visits to Brooklyn; but Ellen's attitude toward me was perceptbly altered, and her coldness to me steadily increased. After I had been styled on successive occasions, and in all earnestness, with such unsavory adjectives as “rude,” “old,” “impertinent,” and legious," I bec: discouraged and suspended all further reiationr with the household of Brown, Some bright and happy day the gods will send to Ellen a young man, tall eo ndth part of an imeh, the standard she has set; his hair will be just the proper shade, neither to @ark nor too fair; his noso will be perfectly adjusted, his head admirably poised, and his eyes of the hue that she admires most, will flash fire or droup with the languor of deep atfection as at the moment it may please her best, ABG when Ellen marries him (for of course she will), 1 do hope she wil) invite me te the wedding, ‘suc The Paper Says positive but couldn't resist the temptae tion of changing her mind. HARLES GLIDDEN of Massaokge setts, who hus mado a record of eating Afty-elsht ears of corm ta less than two hours, issues a genera) challenge to @ corn eating contest. Unless the contest is confined stricthy: to humans he can easily bo defeated. A hog in Missourl has w record of sixty three ears. A months to make $0,00 on the stage. If he needs the money, why not tale out 50,000 worth of life insurance and keep on flying? WOMAN in Oklahoma 1s seeking A ‘a divorce because, as she says, her husband is as dumb ag an oyster, Another Old Cove, New York are organiz a trust, ‘This trust will no doubt give th people a pane, but there will be no trouble tn looking into it THe window glass manufacturers of YOUNG lady has deserted @ per- fectly good husband to go away with @ man who js from Kansas, And not only that, he writes poetry, aviator has quit flying fo! {1 Young Women's Christian Aj clation of Chicago has concluded that a woman of thirty can no R. WEISMANN, a hospital supppe intendent, has Just received $1,00)« 09 for his institution for being | pollte to @ visitor one afternoon. That's better than the hotel business Some waiters have to be polite for aig months before they collect that mush, ‘One thing sure—a woman ts no longer young after she admits thar she Is thirty. MINISTER in Indlana denounces the custom of putting the motto, in God We Trust,” on our silver! blamed on a “bearded m iN Also, it is claimed that the hatr om @ | doctor's face 18 responsible for the spreading of germs. And not only that, @ woman 18 getting a divorce because OW the automobile dollars. murder ie Don't see why. through the dollar. Most of us trust WOMAN has refused $690,000 to quit her husband and marry another man, Sho's right, Tt would be worth more than that to train another one, HIF woman who had a man arrested for stealing her pocketbook and| action on that bill of hie yet? then told the Court that she was! Collector—Yes; he kicked me out te not sure of his last time I called to collect tt. @truggie, She no doubt tried hard to be Transcripp her husband let his beard grow, It ems that whiskers get it in @he going and comin, —_——>_— GOT ACTION, Tallor—Has Mr, Owens taken eng, anand WG one SAUGDNS osm