The evening world. Newspaper, September 9, 1911, Page 11

The Evening World Daily Magazine, “Loquacious, Popular, Openhearted.” rc “Thoughtful, Pensive, Deliberate.” onfessions Of a Mere Man Transcribed by Helen Rowland Copyright, 1911, by The Press Publishing Co. (The New York World), If Mona Lisa Should Come to Brosdway. 66 AVE you ever seen the ‘Mona Lisa?" sighed the Sweetest Girl in the H World, as I tucked her into her hammock the other evening. “t heve," I replied sadly; lighting a cigarette to keep the mosquitoes away. “Iatood before thal ‘perfect lady’ once for twenty minutes trying to look rapt and fascinated—and to discover why in the name of Da Vinci the world raved over her 8a, I've seen giris like that before.” “Oh!" exclaimed the Sweetest Girt excitedly, “What 11," I began, gazing thoughtfully at the Sweetest art, was not my style—er type. I prefer crinkly yel- low hair and a turned-up nose”— “Do stop!" interrupted the Sweetest Girl, impatiently. “You've told me all that before. But I may NEVER seo the ‘Mona LAsat’ “My dear little Girt,” I returned earnestly, “you won't mies anything, I assure you. If Mona should come to Broadway in the life to-morrow, she wouldn't create a ripple. Not @ man would glance at her more than once. You can pass twenty women in a single block who would make her look like an advertisement for a consumption cure, ‘before taking.’ She had the complexion of an ice-cream-soda fiend, and hair that looked as though whe had just been in bathing and hadn't quite dried it. She was one of those Geceltful looking creatures who smile and say nothing—and keep their eyes working all the time.” “THAT ought to have made her perfecti? fascinating—to any man,” put in the 8. G. positively. “And,” I continued, ignoring the interruption, “back of her was a dilious- colored sky or woods—well, I couldn't tell exactly what it was.” exclaimed the 8. @. sitting up triumphantly, “I knew It!” “For 1 4eARD You AN’ MISTER Must TALK » ABouT MEETIN’ Twe CHICKENS How DID You Ger BM To STAN STL HELLO SIMMY! WHAT You Gat CiRCyS Ring 3 Rint You 2 FoR A WHY ALF, IF You Must KNOW IT'S ne = 1 & Lapy's HAT — Sve Askep me To TaKe (T Home For her — Mattes YOU CAN TELL A MAN BY a Ho HAAS Youre ceatamey THe UTTLE CHESTERFIELD, ALL RIGHT, SHIRT “Interesting Talker, Good Judge of “Determined, Positive and Generally Mankind.” | Right.” | “Exquisite in Dress and Also tn, “Morose, Solitary, Generous When It “Abrupt, Always Seeks to Gain His | “Economical, Manner.” | ‘Own Ends.” Means Advantage.” what was the secret of her tremendous fascination,” exclaimed the 6. @. “Wo man could tell what was back of her!" “Nonsense!” I retorted, somewhat nettled. ‘The secret of her fascination was all in the fact that Da Vinci made a fool of himself over her. That's all any woman needs to make her Irrantetibla Tat one men meke @ foo! of hi: over her and all the rest will follow Ike a flock of sheep. That was the secret of the fascination of Gabys Des Lys, and May Yohe, and Evelyn Thaw, end Cleopatra, and all the rest of them from Helen of Troy down. Half the profes- aional beauties that ever lived were not really beauties at all. They simply managed to get a reputation for heauty; and « reputation for anything !s better than the thing itself, whether it's money, or beauty, or brains!” “It's the Hmelight!” murmured the 8. G., with sorrowful conviction. “You men are all like moths, You simply cannot resist any woman who is in the lime- light, from @ chorus girl to @ nice-looking murderess.”” “It's the ADVERTISING,” I corrected. “All those ladies got plenty of free advertising. Gtven ao straight nose and enough figure to build on, any girl who goes around with @ sign-post or a danger signal tacked to her can become a men-tamer.” “Provided ehe smiles and says nothing—and keeps her eyes in good working condition,” interpolated the 8. G. sarcastically. “And that you don't know what's beck of her,” I added sententiously, ~ Saturday, September 9, 1911. —a “Exacting, Irritable, but One Who “A Thinker Who Never Leaps Until | Keeps His Word.” He Looks Carefully.” but Perhaps Sheer Necessity.” —Popular Mechantos. From “Exactly,” agreed the S. G. cynically, “Beauty and fascination are itke a food. The more insipid and mysterious they are the more popular —provided they ate properly displayed and put on the market.”” * I retorted, “how {8 a man going to know what he wants unless you ie never does," returned the 8. G. sadly. “He never wants anything until he finds out somebody else wants it—even @ woman. But the secret conatats in getting @ start—in getting the first man to make a@ fool of himself over you." “That,” I aid, “in all a matter of accident*"— “Like getting the first husband,” sighed the 8 G. rat kiss,” I added cheerfully, “but the rest come easy.” sighed the 8. G., “that somebody would give ME a start in life.” “I might Jump off the dock,” I suggested hopefully But the Sweetest Girl merely turned her wide blue eyes upon me pityingly. “What for?’ tonishmentt. “Becau: me," I murmured inqutred the 8. G. After the Fact! “You've never" But just at this moment @ shower broke over us and we had to run the house adly for} when he's Do ‘Em when we're , there IS a Special Providence that protects babies and foole—and Come HERE AND SEE& HOW THIS , iD ACTIN ss & & Copyriaht HERE'S A LETTER “Jolly, Bluff, Hearty, inate.” |“Cheer Up, Cuthbert!” There Is a Lot of Luck Left. Find the Path! Some of us Think we're Drowning Con- actonce when we're Merely Dulling It! Adversity ia Generally an Accessory Anybody can Make Good Resolutions —the Thing ts to Keep “Byatem" ever B SHED DODRODDE 4944 OD9O4ODODOOOD FO99GOF DEDDIR OO LOEGEDDDIDE ORDO EDEREEODIDDEOEDDIDDDD EO PEDDOEG DDE IRDI4G DHOOIDEDDOEOD DEG E14904-04000-6-40-06000 60004 606.404064-00606 THE WAY HE HOLDS A CIGAR > BDIDHDDODOO ODD DDG 69-90 0O694 444-900-604 994 LODPODODPDODDDD OOODIODED EDD ORODDIDDG 6.4.6-4606009 0009 004.00048066.09.08.50046 000000641906066-40-46-06.40400.04- “Skeptical, Practical and Resentfubet Interference.” but Very rel What's the Use of Being Blue? By Clarence L. Cullen. Copyright, 1911. by The Prene Publishing Ce. (The New York World). A FTER you Form the Purpose you Game—but it Wins in the Game of Léfet ‘The Beach-Comber may see many @ Phantom Ship—but he Knows « Goo@ Berth when he Feels it! Some of us who Protess to be Will- ing to Take our Medicine Demand that it be a Whole Lot Diluted! Ful Int Buccess loves to Play Hide and Seok with « Strad- dler. You don't have to be Dogmetic to be Determined! One Man out of Ten is born Well Poievd—ivut Seidontrol can be Ac quired! We never know it a Saving Ve tue Vanity is till we Begin to Ht the Tobog. Badnesa! One of the Most Vital of all the Bless ings is that so Few of us are Abie to Bunk Ourselves! Once, when we Very Nearly went to Sicep on Post, so Measiey a Thing as ® Horse-Fiy Woke us Up! Admit It to Yourself with a Proper Spirit of Mortification—but never Grove & Gambling | to the Other Fellow! tp! By Harry Palmer |. by The Prese Publishing Co, (The New York World), THAT CAME TO MY tp Copyright, 1911, by The Prese Publishing Co, (The New York World), ‘| REMEMBER HOW foo USED TO Take FLOWERS To THe TeacneR 2 HA'HA! CARRY Home A Hovse/ || RECOLLECT The Time You WAS \F Sne'D ASK rm TAKIN? A BUNCH OF ROSES TO UTILE PIEFACED RunT ! ERIE frou Una Pi WeR & | AST it @ le ‘You IF | Could — AMD PRESENTED Em To HeR-Hollio! [Lu MEYER FeRGiT Tuat DAY AS LONG AS | WE! You COvLDHT SET DOWN OR A WEEK AFTER SHED Finished You} WOLHo! SiY— Hy f IF | couLo CARRY Em A LITLE Wet, CAUSE |} Loveo HER so - You LET me & WHEN You WASNT LOOKIN’ | SPRINKLED A LoT OF RED PepreR oven ‘EmM—| J AWIAYS CARRIED RepPEPPER You Keron —— HA! Ha’ HA! Arp “Hen we GoT To SCHool | Gwe ‘EM BACK To YOU AMD You WIGGLED UP, SURE ALE! SAY IT Yoursete,) [ Keow WHAT (T (5 —— HA!HAS THEM WAS THe HAPPY Dats!