The evening world. Newspaper, September 7, 1911, Page 15

_The Evening COOGSHOQSS ORDER AW LAW ANI The Story of a Ranchman ‘Wiio| Shot His Way to the Divorce Court. (Cops sighted by Toubiet Page & Co.) which happened to be that of dipping (Bo be publivned ia Look form afer Sept. 12.) | the sheep. inaniaantene, Now, thie process je a0 different from ordinary hucan Saptism that it ce PART 1. a word of Itself, A vast Iron oN - with half the fires of Avernus beneath FOUND mysel€ in Texas res] jg partiy filled with wa cently, revisiting old plages| yoiis fur Into ahat 48 con and vistas. Ata sheep ranch ‘nied 1y@, Hime and sulphur, which wher! had sofourned many jowed to stew and fume wntil the years ago stopped for al witches’ broth {= strong enough to! And, as all visitor » Uheartily | sooroh the third arm of Palladine her plunged tntn the business at hand, self, | | | New Pl “* Snobs,”” a Lean Play for a Fat Actor BY CHARLES DARNTON. ‘H, Laura, Laura!’ he erted, straining her to hie rented “dress «: “O outmide her box at the opera—no, opera house, And echo answered, Lavra Jean’ Y, If she could be drawn vy gentle hands from brooding Brooklyn to the Hudson Theatre, Would doubtless to “Bnobs," written by George Bronson How- ard, with no apologies to Thackeray. She would dote on It, for it has a “dook"—a big fat one! (er waking hours might ever after be fied with the bifssful thought that perchance the milkman at her door had noble blood in Qu, Me veins. She could } get wp and go eight to | work, so full of in- 4 spiratioh that breakfast | would needs bo contin- Jif wed in her next. “| To turn a milkman “dook"’ overnight " ian't @ simple trick, but the author of “Snobs” does it easily, Hank Disney t4 in the slums one night, at @ country ;, club the next afternoon, 3) and at a box-party that ! very evening. He makes these quick changes | without the least sign | of embarrassment. This may be due to his sense of humor, but you are left to your sense of the ridiculous. Nothing could be more preposterous than “Snobs,” with its im- ) possible characters and far-fetched situations. Hank in overalls talk- ing to his ‘‘pal, Buck" Reade, is understand- able; but Hank in checks at a country club tho next day, and in evening clothes at the atre thi same night, makes the tired brain reel. 28 make little impression on a fat man, Anyway, ferh when Fate knocks at his door twice in the same das Parkyn, who has been visiting @ poor family up b 1 Phipps Maynadier (there's another Jental capacity of lawyer and makes Hank a “Buck,” who has read al! about =) FRANK POC INTYRE Tt may be that Hank doesn't lose evening, Virst it's > stairs and wants to you!) arrives in home in a ¢ my ot. Millions go with the ttle, high society in novels and isn't fat, fits into the scheme, and Hank leaves tt to people to guess which |s the “dook. it more diMcult, “Buck” talks like a paper-covered hero, while Hank talks slang. as Parkyn ede of soc pickie maise averlooked | hat he ware. eluly th In a minute! Nou is “Man and Superman,” d discuss the th ot Ha immoral I aw. TH nk’s slang put toge The lights gu out to Indicace that an act of “Man and Superman” has pa You feel awfu ut of it ‘Then “Buck” knocks at th of Laura's box. Tt is he who cries “Oh, Laura!” Phipps, the society happens along and tells Laura (they're both snobs) that’ “Buck” Is ne leads to the end of the bal. cony and “Buck smashes P inters ‘Thrill No, 1;_gets Thrill No. 2 when Hank grapples 1 man; and feels Thrill No, 8 when her fat hero, now a + presses her to his avoirdupois, vsionally amusing slang, upon really a ean play for a fat +s tiresome views on snobe, is “Them Was the Happy Days!” henner —— $$$ Vm oT Posie ,wYRTLE, BUT 1 Believe WWE RecoveReo Mona Lisa = DIOWT SEE You Wana gat BELLE oF ih, aot co ae et eg AMMA I ASE SEB MEMES LS LY RRA ALINE FE, On! Bcuse ME wiMmV. Pirin? THe oTweR® LADY (OV “MISS = DINGLING, eae MOLALLA AO Daily Mag Wortd. amatxed ith cubic gallons T, and the eheep are caught logs and flung into the After being 1 ly eans of a forked ‘pole tn the hands of a gentiaman detailed for that purpose y are allowed to © ber up an incline iato @ oorrel and dry or die, as the state of thelr constitutions: may deoree, If you ever cuaght an able- 1, tWo-searok by, the hina | wk and stlt the 750 voits Of kicking | that he can send | eaten times before s Into the vat, you wi that he may die instead of But thls is re and T gi to explain why Bud the weloome Ins wet with the earth king labors, The and we fintehed i go Put browgeht rom the corral on his eaddle horn cot. fee and a coffee pe bread and some fic the rath owner and ay old friend, rode away to the ranch with his force ef Mexican trabajadores While the bacon was frizziing nicely, there was the sound of Morses’ hoofs be- hind ut, Bud's @tx-shooter fay tn ite scabbard ten feet away from Mls hard, He patd wot the slightest heed to the ap- | proaching hoteeman, ‘Thin attitude of | a Texas ranchman was ao different tram | tye old-time custom that I Sea after our rc Instinctively T turned to inapect the por- le foe that cnenaced us tn the fear, T @ horseman dressed in black, Who might have been a Jawyer or & parson or an undertaker, ‘trotting peaccably along the road by the arroyo. Bud noticed my precautionary move- ment and smiled earcastically and @or- ts it now? Atl we wet ts orders; 5 the laws go out of the State. ‘1! legislators get up (rere at Austin and don't do nothing but Make laws against Keroxens ot! and gchoothooks beng ‘Drought into the State. I reckon they Was @fraid some man would go home some evening aftet work and ight up and get On elication and ga to wart e been away too tion't need to look around any: more when anybody gallops up be- hind you In this State, unless something you in the back; @hd even then it's able to be only a bunch of tracts or & petition to sign against the trusts. 1 never looked at that hambra that rode by, but TM bet a quart of sheep dip that he's some double-dyed «on of @ out rounding up prohibition Tm for the old days when law anc r meant what they @atd. A law was a law, and @ order wane order.” “But'—— 1° began, ‘T was going on,” continued Bud, “while this coffee ts boMing, to describe to you & case of genuine law and order that I knew of once in the times when canes was decited in she chambers of a six-shooter instead of a @upreme Court “Timea have. changed, Bud,” said 1 oracuiarly, “Law and order ‘s the rule now in the South and the Southwest.”* I caught a cold gleam from Bud's pals blue eyes ‘ot that I’—— 1 began hastily. ‘Of course you don’ said Bud warmly. “You know er, You've lived here before. Law and order, you say? Twenty years ago we had ‘em here, We only had two or three laws, such as against murder before witnesses and being caught stealing horses and | barons and cattle kings. ‘The difference voting the Republican ticket. But how |was this: the cattle king? Hie ranch run from the Nueces to the Rto Grande. In them days, as you know, there was cattle m | to repeal aforesaid laws. | Antone and bought veer wspaper reporters and only em the number of cattle he ac up for a baron for Rive eh Aint they pe v York or Kansas Ct entouls, Take was det A aquad to elde Mout with ‘em, and Ree jwnen they was coming, and drive tii deer ut of their way. Among the bunch was @ Dlack-eyed gtrl that wore ® number two shoe That's all I no- [ticed about her, But Lake must have | seen more, for he married her one aay ore the cabatiard started ba and | went over on Cannda Verde and ret up ja ranch of tis Own, ['m skipping over Jine sentimental stuff on purpose, be- ou've heard of old Ben Kirkman, | cause 1 nevet saw or wanted to see any! hiro), | and mighty soon out comes one of the of it, And Luke takes me along with him ‘because we wae ont friends at |T handled cattle to sult him. | "T'm skipping over much what fol- when caytienan weat to! lowed, because T never saw or wanted Thursday, Sept the) to see any of dt pagne wine | 4 CARRIES SETWEEN Ew biubbeping around the galleries beg three men pants ard I never ike a man one had in a tone of who spoke in a tone of voice {ithat the rattlesnakes got fair warning | “I'm skipping ever much whnt j lowed; but one afternoon whan Tri up to thé Franch house to get some | rack, not wishing to intrude on priv sinters of fo ahd #ome of the two three men, | SEE You HAVE A PUNCHING BAG - WILL YOU SHOW ME How Courright, 1011, by The Press Pubiie “Via ha’ You HHOW, SALLIE, | CANT SEE wuaT You LiKE ABUT A LITTLE STeweo, Prue OF A SHRIMP LiKE JIMMY — was Kid - AiniT The cane, ace! Wou'Li. Rui My, ine Co. (The Now York W To was KIDS, BACK Im THE OLD dfs! [Heavenst \F 1s 19 THe GeHum Monn) ish THERE | GOES $} 000 90 000 000 00! 59) UML OLD jnamy! Aa! HA’ Youd OvuGHT SEEH ME HAND IT © Hin Wien WE HA'AA' HA You'd A DED iF YOU CouLo Me Saw Ao Thar Ll ATronesH IM AOS Vos Ho! du OvT! OF THAT O.O BULL emb THe CORE wtecer, but three years aft ward there wan @ boy kid stumbling an’ a ape tes ders about @ drove of haeves that was to be shipped, I hears something I “ {popgun xo off. 1 watts at the hitching affairs, in @ little While Luke comes |). out and gives some onerk to gome of bie have coaned altogether. hie Mextean hands, and they go and| Walter comes home in the ‘evening up sundry and divers venteles; | ead tired, has dinner, reads the even- But two of the two or three men carries between ‘em the corkrerew man who epoke in a tone of votce, and lave Mim fiat down fn one of the wage one, And they al Might have been seen wending their way away. 4 ““Bud,' aay® Luke to mm, ‘I want yor | to Ax up a Hite and @o up to Ban An- | tone with mea.’ | “Let me et on my Mextoan aputs,’ | foys 1, ‘and I'm your company | “One of the sleters ot #0 eeoma to have | Stayed! at the ranch with Mrs. Summers and the kid. We rider to Bheinal and | Aatohes the International, and hits san | Antone in the morning After fam, Luke @teers me straight to the of- flee of a jawye: ey gon A room and talk and then come out ‘Oh, there Won't be any trouble, Mr. | Summers,’ says the lawyer kk he Jauatnt Judge Simmons with the facts) to-day, and the matter will be put through as promptly as posit law |and onder reigns in this State ax mwitt | and sure as any in the wnity it for the dee it tt won't | tf an hour,’ says the Law must take ite course, Come back day after to-morrow at half past nine.” At that ttm me and Like shows up, man. | and the Jawyer hands him a folded! document. And Luke writes him out at check ‘On the al@ewaik Luke holds up the paper to me and pute a finger the sine —Notes floora of Livke’s ranch, T never had no} use for k but it seems they a And Copretaht, 1011, by The Pree Pot aver muah WAAL followed * out to the ranch arives| Bpom Elsie to Clara wckboards a lot of Mrs, | oo la trom the Basta sins (RY SICUTN JANA: Its getting ltor of Ro and two or one so lonetome out here in Mit 1 I don't know w eanynelt, Tay lime to think, and here val thoughts have come to me that re disturbing—so { want to write you ahout therm. My married life has eettind down into Much a plack!, uneventful thing. ‘There romance or excitement im {t, and Vittle things, the nice ditele things T thought wonld contihue inden. at Ate that int papers and goes to sleep on the couch, He never seems to notice what T have on, ho never praises my looks And he never brings home the little boxes of candy and the flowers that he suned to, Do you suppose, Claré dear, that hee getting tired of me? T try to amune him, but he just won't be amused. What do you think ta the matter and what can you suggest that eight revive Walter's interest in me? 1 shall bo #0 thankful fof any heip— I fee! so folorn.—-Very affectionately, MSE. From Clara to Elste BAREST ELSIE: I got your lotter fifteen minutes ago and I'm sitting right down to an- awer it. You poor dear you, I know just how you're being ‘Woll, Tl @ive you a few or neglected. pointers! I'm not married myself but T've kept my eyes and ears well open, and 1 know Just how to handle these affairs. think a disinterested outet@er can al- ways give much Wetter advice than one vitally concerned. © whole trouble f®, after the men ed us they're too sure of us a dear, demure little thing , Kiete, Now, tf you should cut up a few high sinks—take hotice of the Apollos that come your way and let hubby know there are other manly forms you dare admire, you'll soon find he'll fold his mévitable evening paper @nd cast & weather eye on the horizon! He you aré, Wearlng your tittle Ne nt worrying over your Walter's Neglect, and in tne mean time, who Oldest Joke HAT te the lest joke in the w 1° According to T. P's Week! t te the following, Which ts related In one of the Perlin Papyri of the e!xth Baypttan dynasty (about 2,20) B,C), and It should no be overlooked that In the days when the world was © centuries of verbal cnr Was insetlbed in permanent for, According to the papyring, a certain scribe who «l for the of Thoth occupled apartments nis Aelgiibors on elther v a copper vely une and most ribe was of tie almost er 7, 1911, break: | do} of a kitchen door lateh on it and saya: ““Doectas of ab-wo-lute Mvorce with custody of the enild” ‘Skipping over ntich what fink hap- pened of which I know nothing,’ ware 1, ‘It looks to me like a split, Couldn't the laws‘er tan fmve made it a strike for you? ‘Bad, says he, Ih & pained etyie, ‘that chi [8 the oné thing T Wave to live for. She may go; but the boy fe tnfne'—chtnk of tat HAVE ctmtOedy of he id Ml riwht,’ saya t. TE tts the taw, let's alate bY it. Btat 1M that Judge Simmons might jexemplary clemency, oF what lex pre eigted muck into the destribienten OP HAving Gents aroand ® ranch, excapt tha Rid Chat feed t on the Duke waa elves aml felt for Ro n ¢ when they arow i struck awith that as devatand. AN the way riding from station back to the ranch he pull. ing that dectee out of pie et and ort reading off to me the Aa By “6 stance of it “Cun-teety of 5 ¥ it cntto- dy of the child! Clo ve Continued.) Taying hfe Meer on the says he. ‘Don't forwet fi weve eee we) That— 'iCrossed In the Mail — By Alma Woodward—— ishing Co, (Tha New York World) knows What he's doing? How do you know he’ Ing nome diasy bipae and treating hér rb terriplh amt cham pane for Incheon? You take ty Advice and perk up. Cast | 9 Yow @00 RO0e At the Arst poEEtdte one | that comes to visit you and nee if httoby | wan't tree hdime the foneiing: higth with @ box Of chotolite alonds. And DON'T get cold feet whatever you do'— @ympathetioalty, CHARA | From Elste to Glara Y DBAR CLARA: I'm very much suprised at what you conser the eolotion. of my i (rouble. In the Grat piace, dow could I even pretend to fuss over a man for whom I 4jd not care? Amd then, what @ terrible opinion the man would have of me! No, I don’t think your way of treating ol uation fe mt afl adviaehte. Never. 1 than& you for havieg taken the trouble to think the thing out and write me. But, Clara, one thing tn your letter made me very, VIGRY anery. You ssid something ateut Walter and a dizcy Monde, Khowing Walter as you do, how can why that? fe 18 Geereet, most tbyal and up- right een on @ teust him implialy. 1 he wouldn't even look at another woman. Anyhow, how can he? He's home every ev — Fondly, mae, Telegram from Clara to Miste: Your Jest statement is great. Tt. day to Tong! on From Elste to Clara - (a week later.) Y DARLING: 1 jum can’t wat to th you. Tt ! Night defore last Bob Grater, & friend of Watters chfte te " @inner. He's awfully hand- some and J just showered attentions him. I think I ev@h sduedita hast a little dit After the secthd gitlbs df wine, On, tt wal fran@—1 Gidh't m: bit, And Mire @hodigh faet fteht Whrer brought home # three-pound box 6f alaced frutts! Thanks #6 much for Your advice, . Iva fimny I Hever thought of the Gay baling lony before you mentioned it! Lots of love from RETR. aa in the World. ‘ driven mad. At Imat by a a. @, craftiness he buttouholed each nejighbor séfarately and bribed them tt thelr 10dRinif, which they Qtt—with anbther THIN tld has Rept che worta wentied five thoutiind yeare-we often meet {t ow—and It meyer seems to urrét to anyliody to wonder Wy the scribe did not chunge th bWn lodiinks: but perhaph ‘his rent wile in t site!) arrears, as sometimes havens to fat yt Wal cheaper to bribe the two w renniat that runs te anew he iin whd goes t6 BUY Ron article and earriéa it on other Literary. gentlemen, men. et place In point of o save tiring the horse | That Time \ His WAR @& Ther 1 asned Pramteo pir Reo & \LavGH' say! | oveR @ oven’ iW GRnEO Him @ CARRIED Ara OVER To ‘THe Purr Pen & Pusned Him We VIENT AROUND, In Front] — Looked LiKe A RAINBOW, GETrin’ OUT THE WAT OF A COME Simpy ROWED _ Wa To Puny inmdinN & \] YES Stuck A FEATHER IM SPOILED wes! Yes! T! Ho!Ho! Ho'ho'Ha! You BIG OLD CHUN Fish