The evening world. Newspaper, August 30, 1911, Page 13

T he —Rvening World Daiiy ODDODIGGDOODGOOHDDGHODSHOGDSHOG: Ma YOHOHHDOHHDHSHHOHHOOHDOOODS: azine, OOGHDDHOODSGOSGOOGH"HGHOOHQIAGOOS: wis ineadsy. Augnet 30. 1911. vy SRAMDION OF THE WEATHER The Story of a Man Who Used a Jimmy to Pry Con- versation’s Lock Off. (Copyrighted by Doubleday, Page & Co.) remarked care- (Te be published in book form after Sep 12) an¢ light @ cigarette, lessiy to Bud ‘Nice night! Ff you should speak of the Kiowa Reservation to the | average New Yorker he prob ably wouldn't know whether you were referring to a new political dodge at Albany or a leitmotif from “Parsifal.” But out in the Kiowa Reservation advices have been received, any night couk the Broadway Now, the you man was from New York, but the rest of us wondered how Bud guessed {t. So, when the steaks were done, we besought him to lay bare his system of ratiocination. And as Bud was something of a Territorial talk- ing machine, ne made oration as fol- soncerning the existence of New York. | A party of us were on a bunting trip} “prow ata f know he was from New in the Reservation. Bud Kingsbury,| york? Weil, I figured ft out as soon a9 our gulde, philosopher, and friend, was bretling antelope steaks in camp one night. hatred young m costuma, sauntered over to the fire te The Jarr Family Or, Fare Heads a Conspiracy to Extract Sanshine From a Grouch. Copyright, 1911, by The Pree Publishing Co. (The New York World), By Roy L. McCardelf. he we. but I got comething in here here Gus thumped his breast, “which is HE conspirators, among bjs steady | feelings of kindness for my friends, like customers, who had resolved ta you fellers? Sometimes, maybe, my Lena give Gus, the saloonkeeper, &] she ven't speak mit me or speaks too taste of his own} much mit me, and dusiness is bad or medic Surll-| my license is due, or the bret roasts ness — stood lined) me about the interest on my mortgage, up at the bar point-| and then, maybe, I'm sore, but in the edly lgnoring each| peart, to my friends, it ain't so!” other. “Your heart oneered = Slavinsky. Gus was so taken} «such @ heart a@ you got! Vell, Sback by THIS | Gom'e Ike me, anyhow, I don't nze lack of the} «sure, Siavinsky, { always like you. usual genialit¥! 4 preak winder 90's you'd get a chob.” mong them that!” And to prove Ms regard and seif-nac- rs ‘nad ‘gone oeg| Fifite for the glazier, the anguished Gus sealaes lmeaet? = picked up the bung-starter to break a he sprung them two words on me. [ was in New York myself a couple of years ago and [ noticed some of the hoof tracks of the Rancho ne = ; dow, bi te. * Teo come; window, but Maller and Beplor re tents ta order tO) pont go showing off!" said Sfr. Jarr Becing him thus occupied, Mr. Jarr| MAFshly. “We aren't going to quit you ‘This place is convenient for us, That's why we deal here. But why bring a fake friendship into it? You have the str‘t ispered down the lite that he guar- ted, if they kept up the conspiracy lttle while, he would make Gus aaa, to sell and we have the money to pay a] The rest were sceptical, but agreed to| fr it, That’# all we want, and vou in the experiment. Finally, Gus re- rned and, aa though resolving to find jut what wes the matter, forced emile ad ald: “Well, ‘Sure! cried Siavinaky. “That's right!" said Muller, and Bep- Yer shook his bh in a surly af™rmativ: ‘But, boys!” exclaimed the horrified Gus. “You don't mean to say that we ain't gomg to play no more ptnochie to- fellers, it's good to see all ue ere Mit each ether, y repited Mr. Jarr acridly. gether in the back om when the “The only friend I got is what money 19 Seatner te calder?’ my pocket. There fan't much «there 1¢ 1¢ suits our convenience, perkape," true, but I'm laying beta that there {an't one in this bunch but would krvek me in the head for it, if he thought he would get away with it!" “Oh, don’t say it!’ cried the unhappy said Mr. fereatly. “And we ain't going to kid each other and play chokes any more?” asked Gus, with a eateh in his voice. Tarr; and he yawned indif- Gus. “Stavinsky, you Uke Mr. Jar} soy" {hie barroam good-fellowehtp don't yout” . gear ni ge He ain't nothing to me,” said Stavin- | sees” t.ymean anything,” replied Mr Jarr. “You were always right, Gus. Get the dest of everybody, grow! at people you don't like, grow! at everybody bi cause you don't like everybody. with you im that. I'm sorry I even pre- tended to be @ pal to anybody in thts{ bunch.” “Well!” chorused all the others save Gus, “You gon't like us and we don't lke you! What we care?" “Vat? Vott eried Gus chokingly, @ big, dull tear rolled down his cheek and splashed upon the bar. Mr. Jarr and the others grew a little alarmed at the success of their experi- ment in psychology, and Mr. Jarr ‘ed the hedging. ¢ “Why, Gu: ful of his f: sobbing trying sky, shruging hi: fected Andifference. him You Ike him and you like me and You Uke Slavinsky, don't you, Muller?” asked Gus, appealing to the grocer. Muller looked them over coldly. I don't think I shoulders with af- Vor I care tor turned “Bepler,” he to Bepler, the butcher. id, “you are a feller mit @ heart in you. You know you lke my friends and 2 know you {s all my frien and you like thea and you lke me and"— “Aw, cut It out, that soft stuff!" in- terrupted the butcher. “I wouldn't care {f the whole bunch of you were dead!" “It's a good thing to hear the truth "he cried, feeling regre recess, as he saw Gus calf, “we only wore out your plaa.* We tke a b to follow ing up. “Sure! chorused the oth some- t_ashamed of stirring the deoth of "s nature so heartlessly. “Then, tellers," cried the now beam- tng Gus, “I at gain! Choin together now for a Kum- mers together, and have vot you want. Scmthing oxpensif on me!” tere and puts on a false smile and asks you how you are and what you will have, and you insult him and treat him with contempt, and you are right, That ustomer would cheat you if he could, and you know tt. “Oh, no, no!” cried Gus. ‘Bums there ia, I know, and felleys what would hang WELL! WELL! WELLTY fF W Amt wTTLe , | OLD dimarn MY MY Howe Time Does FLY! Down? Stem Poosi®Le Thar We've iy (aah up TO “4 MaAnnooD 1? \T S€ems MME Aro You > Pun’ The Po You Ever Maret darts aS ee Bl) vA toten ‘ / LauGH I'm) and | once in a while,” remarked Mr, Jarr, | ¢hought tt would please you. ‘Gus, you're the only one that’s on the| “Is that @0?" @sked Gus brighten- | level right alons. A customer comes in t never going to do It, Line YESTEADAL When TOGETHER OLO DAIS | 1 the Panhandle, did asked one of the hunters. n't say that I did," answered Hud; nyway's, not more than som mein trail in that town whic Broadway js ptenty travelled, they're about the same brand of bipeds that tramp around ‘heyenne and Amoriilo. At first I is sort of rattled by the crowds, but [ soon says wo} myself, ‘Here, now, "re just plain folks Hike you and Geronimo anid | Grover Cieveland and the Watson boys, #0 don't get all flustered up with con ernation under your saddle bl and tien I feels calm a I was back in the ghost dance or a “Ld been saving up for a year to give | this New York a whirl. 1 knew a man | named Summers that liv oukin't find him; so 1 played a lone hand at enjoying the intoxicating pleas- ures of the corn-fed metropolis. “For a while I was so frivolous and loceed by the electric ligity and the notses of the end-story railroads that I forgot one of the crying needs of my Western system of natural requirements. [ aever hand to deny myself the pleasures of sociable v intercourse = with trlenda and atran Out in the Ter- witories whén I meet a man I never saw defore, inside of nine minutes [ know his Income, religion, size of collar and | bia wife's temper, and how much hi Pays for clothes, allmony and chewing | tobacco. It's a gift with me not to be | penurtous with my conversation. “But this here New York was fn- augurated on the idea of abstemiousness in regard to the parts of speech. At the end of three weeks nobody in the elty had fired even a blank sytiable in my direction except the waiter in the grub emporium where I fed. And as his outpourings of syntax wasn't nothing but tarisms from the bill of fare, he never satisfled my yearnings, which was to have somebody hit. “If I.stood next to a man at a bar he'd edge off Baldwin-Zlegler fhok as i be susp ae ot Haeevinnn | the North Pole concealed on my per son. 1 began to wish that I'd gone tof Abilene or Waco for my paseado: for t you, Bud?" hankering for to be gregarious with something more loquacious than a post, a fellow in a 3 Nice day!" “He was a kind of a manager of the e, and I reckon he'd seen me {n \ | SORRY: SIR | BOT! DON'T t But don't you think,’ says 1, ‘that a little cool early in th {ty says to me, says|ain't there a feeling « he to-night? was gulhipsions weather, to the house? & good many times. He had o like a fish and an eye Ike Judas, but T got up and put one arm around the Mayor of them places will drink | his neck with you. and the first altizen you meet ‘Pardner,’ I says, ‘sure it's a nice will tell you his middle mame and ask | ay. Pbk the first gentleman in a'l) you to take a chanee in a raffle for a |New York to observe that the intrica- muste box. les of human speech might not be al-| “welt, one My when I was particular | together wasted on William Kingsbury “twa morning, raim in th Hut along about noon it sure! How's all up You doing right well with ey AM TEAR Says 1 “Well, sir that galoot turns his back and walks off stiff, without @ word, after all my, trying to be agreeable! 1 didn’ know What to make of it t night 1 finds a note from Summers, who'd been at's Just the York fete off tn your discourse on the ting well from the measies.’ ae 1 fecl ike Td known you always,’ looke at me and tries to | says 1. s just one e 1 don't and he comes are you wet with a Wells eying the handle Brett he saya, ‘Tm putting sone War Glad to heat tt! says T. ‘Now ge Partiewh m ved | back to work and get elviized. ‘4 the " Keep your Is off the weather unless f on new. to follow lt up . @ per When y home in Ita a subject shorthand Volt a nd T hate to see rain day. sa ange in a town . ‘ t cleared off fine in the y forenoon. I hear the farmers are ne up my bIgRk- log rain right badly up-State.’ tal away from New That's the kind of a canter, 9a {Shake the New York dust of your! Por many minutes after Mud ceased ' vid be a ial agreeable Kind of | talking We liosered around the Gre, end ‘ woke the you ;then all hand gan to disperse for getting a minute, Seem at ne my bedding T «| young man mething ke amx- sbury, there ts beautiful about thts “eel breeme amt the i" © lear alr unite in y attractive.” its a nl soriething re night. ‘Phe « mawing 1k we Yes," sala Bud, —Notes That— Crossed In the Mail the art of continuous conversation away from town, giving the address of] You way New York etlmiette allows Ni — By Alma Woodward — mp. I goes up to his house andl ivy words and no " byt v Ls ir oO une ‘ell, he's . good, old time talk with his folks. | 20, Gln hinecle thee ar cect And T tells Summers about the actions Airenu kan tay hat he nate Copyright, 1941, by The Drees Publishing Co. (The New York World) Of this coyote in the cally and dewires} ma besides inducing ‘ vs Ayes . ne, Besides indulging 11 y re ‘ proverbial clam about this audden turn errr Pe ‘ He ine| MACK On other subjects From Mrs, Stanley Carter to Of affairs, but 1 suspect she's taking @ says Summers, the wasn't in-} gummera talked asin it, but Tw Hime. Simone Legende. chines. Masia WO tending to strike up a coaversation With| irritated some and Tvecnt. on the mts . egende, vou a tek ear ae R MADAME LEOMNDE If you bave any regard for my future WAS A regular cust hha ghiee dalle Wan thace vet. walle Ti Neve ‘tating sanity please step im and wae your i 3 os CWO Juri iv) ing round in a sort of back corral torest in trying to ond thie tom how You he appreciated your custom. | where there wag tables and chairs. Aladvertinements of your t Tt be your Genter foe Me \¥ pe CuanIS'G fo Ave ollewed it up few 0 wa # around having T usualy have no fi i you're successful, In despatr, about as far trim ud ny Ing at one a by ae Ni e th a stranger, A word o gee bon EG this sort; In fac STANLEY. ’ Fs a: t called that man to one aide and (THE SEQUE ONB WEEK may be ventured, but wel} herded him inte a corner, LE unbuttoned Ushed at people who “bite* ie B it ) E don't y make ft the basis of ‘an wh to show him a thirty-cight I t that’s thrown them. LATE acquaintance.” carried under my ves y statements sound so sane, q ay ait Ms ‘the weather and fts ; *‘Pardner, ‘a brief space ago ave so free from exaggeration, th t From George Holt (Lawyer) rainifcations is & sclemn subject with|T was in : e points, No man can Uhe quem |T attempted ate your weath- talking about and mean what you say | MBE. SIMON® LEGENDE: it ty or theler signal, you turned your back and| Now, aa yeu request tn your ade, I Dear Madam—1 wish to th ra) t ra| walked off. Now,’ says Tt, ‘you frog-|am_xoing to explain just what J want form you that my ollent, Mra. tail on it wi He | hearted, language-shy, stiff-necked cross Stanloy Carter, {# about to bring sult ing Barometer. ‘a going down to see & Spitabergen sea cook a " st you for th jum of five ta aa “f is oid . My complexion isn't so terribly ba y eo that man agein’a.d ive him @ Tessoa ater, you renume whe but I'd ike to acquire that transparent | thousand dotiars. She claims you have seit quality of skin that is so admirable | Tuined her personal appearance for at In the ‘Very young. ‘Thats the first | 4st six months’ (me. ‘The tems she thing. Second, my even are alwaya| ts forth are as folle bright and snappy. I'd lie you to; First, her halr, from using tontes Copyright, 1911, oy The Press Publishing Ca. (The New York World). YOURE FIRED} | DON'T WANT YOU AROUND THIS HOTEL - ‘You DONT KNOW HOW VO RUN AN ELEVATOR: THERE'S NO ONE To RUN THE ELEVATOR, SIR: dint, WAS Kis 7 BACK THERE IM | Hatha! Hay Fence RECALL THEM “7X & : 1 1 dimen 2 Ls ba iw ’ ‘as MY SM! MAY! Jim, wilert You Ano er GIRL was SETTiNY ONE NIGAT In June s HAHA SEEN You @& CRAWLED Mon VWiAS RIGHT BEHIND You —_ R Me lime peme ME MB: On BROWNS OLD BOARD! en AND THEN ] Jneben You vit A PIN @ LET OUT AY INDIAN MELL~ Ho! Ho! You Fell OFF Om ryouR HOSE & YOUR Gia, Fpinttep— LAVGH? | Like To DIED! AriD You GoT mad AND ) CALLED ME Art OLD WRETCHED CLOD oPPER~ ) es Come ONE! qi | TO THe DRVG you've preseribed, shade of purple, highlights, Second, neck, where, has assumed has turned a dull with emerald en dtrect mo how to get those dreamy that a0 many actresses seem to have~ the “window of the soul" variety. ‘Third, my chin, [ fear, is displaying a tendency to repeat Itself, And if the skin on her face and indeed, skin stil! remains, an elephantine thickness, there's anything on earth that I d “dy it's @ double chin! Wit you tell mo. Tid her eyes, originally perfectly positively how to get rid of that? good ‘eyes, have ecome slightly cronsed, 1 exercise And, last of all, put ina few rules on} Tonteds due to harmful exercises yeu have recommended. how to secure hair that can sanely be y he est ¢ one ealad a ardealah aietn She estimates ‘his @amage to her time fairnesé at five thousand dollars Tf you think you can do all this If (a pull sum when compared te the will, with pleasure, send you the tty | parm ddaed You will be served with dollare you request as fee, V: papers before @his rewehes you, but tbe corely, BLEANOR CAn ; y From Mr, Stanley Carter to Mrs, Turner. ; FAR BLANCHE: D T have written you jn despera- tion, to ask you to remonstrate with your sister, 1 pleaded and coms attending physicians judge your \.ctim fit to leave Ner bed. Very truly yours, GEORGE HOLT, LL. B. ee A Desert Shrine. HE necropolis at Hahrein, the cen- [ tre of the Persian gulf pearl fimh eriex, 18 one of the oldest ptece have, by turns, led—-but I've failed, Sho seems suddenly to have taken | of man's handiwork tn the world, The leave of her senses! She eats the] combs streteh for miles tnte the Interlor strangest combination of foods, in-/of Hahrein. The origin of this desert ea, or rather overindulges, in eX-| gepulchve is to @ great extent @ mye cle that borders on the grotesque. | tery and, except when she rigs herself up in w tng apparatus! pub- wild ould cages August Moonlight. At night, when she retires, she ds IEE solemn light behind th bound, masked and @agged out of a AL the rising moon, the cricket's aeinblance to a human being. 1 find | call, Dlasters, straps, creams and lotions) Tue August night, and yop and I~ What is the meaning of it allt for the nx ny shaving things, two weeks I've eaten breakfast } yy. 4, creature whose hair it! Oy twisted around wire contrivances til it resembles nothing so much as group of indignant rat talis, each de- | fying the laws of graviiy at a dif | past opposite a t wed of beauiy that she weaves, of her own— foront ansie! one sivange purD® . ‘or this the palnted butterfly, hen, there'a another aggravating |” ior this the rose—for this alone! habit she's lately developed. She re- fuses absolutely to display any factal! strange repetition of the rose, expressions, on the ground that they | And strange reiterated eall produce wrinkles. If there's anything | Of bird and inseot, nd matd— ij than to sit opposite a} is that the meaning ef it abl? mmy wearing a mask of stolid ‘tity Vat like to know it! Some- {if it meane mathing, after all, e | And #8, exvept to dle~ times I'm tempted to # some 0 ; at solemn light the china just to see whether can't end you sna hi disturb her stony calm ' itenne in Harper's Bho is ay uncommunicative as the | $, Me, Hem sure } YAS! You BiG onion. EM WAS THE. \ HAPPY Days! *. A Sanne Seal O! Ho! MOWAT vias AM finn a vole KETTLE — AnD } ‘ “tet Slammep You vP In TE EAR & \\ r Srmmen vou HaT Down over Your) e166 @ KICKED NYouR SHINS = ERAS BAL Mal SANE Ko rine tir Ter nen % ay WaPPY DAIS ?- \ ¥ BoTTLE oF ! Ammonia, ayit will be postponed yatil her three,