The evening world. Newspaper, May 29, 1911, Page 9

tern cameras WELL! WELL! WeLL ! Steam! Sam! diet! WT! Ws Wr! Pa | HA! WA! Wat oimey HAD ACQUAINTEO Nou) Hat Ha! Ge The Litre sarime meet You 7 The Evening World Dail wit A “Them Was the Happy Days!” Conerteht 141 be The Prem Pobtiahtn Be ar eee eee ne LONT THIHK wer pest Friend 4% HAD, BACK o tH OUR BOYHOOD DAYS, WOULD You + Ha!HA! Did He Ever Tert You feo The Time | Put THe Roten eces tH wis PocKeT— 5 e! 1 DONT Know Neave To Ger Queen Like Wien O10 THE CAREFUL \@rRs Yours Sou YouR veer Confessions Ofa Mere Man Transcribed by helen Rowland Copyright, 1914, by The Uress Vublishing Co, (The New York World). i Going A ‘road al’ Am-ricaine. down yester to wish my friend Carteret the usuat “bum voyage!" WE ty (as we say in French), Carteret is taking his wife to Europe—and yet we fancy that all the “heroes” are dead! | The lady had twelve trunks, two matds and a poodle. | Carteret looked rather sad as he stood holding the poodle in one arm and a bundle of wraps in the other, while bis wife | tried to clear a path through the stateroom, with the ald of | the steward and her strong right arm, | Toor Carteret! He te one of those deluded beings who hevor has been to Europe before because, ax he expressed it, he “couldn't afford to go RIGHT.” By oing right, wid? means, sailing on a replica of the Waldorf-Astoria, e he can drink American cocktails and watch the du- plicates of the ladies one sees in P Mley parade uy and down in their Queen of Sheba costumes and snub o: another for amusement He means putting up at an Americanized hotel, where he yy Can Ket American pastry end hear American chatter and see exactly the same sort of people as he meets on Fifth ave- nue every day of his life. He means taking a lot of luggage which he never will need, which never wil! reach any place unt!! after he has left, and around which the Continental customs officers will dance a Tarantella while he digs into his ‘Travellers’ Handy Speaker" {n search of a phrase to explain to them that he {s ‘© neither to kidnap the King nor to purloin the Crown jewels. | Ye Gods! If this 1s going “right,” then let me go—the other way! Let me go with an extra collar or two and a change of socks for luggage, and nothing ” my mind but my steamer cap. | Let me go on a quiet, slow little steamer, where I can drift for ten whole } lays, with ttre winds of heaven blowing the conwebs out of my brain, and the blue sky smiling the benediotion of the sea down upon me, and where I can lie lazily m deck for the whole voyage,and think of the dollars I shall have left in my vocket when I get there, . Let me xo ALONE; for, take my word for !t, Old Chap, the longest way round your friends abroad 1s the shortest way to see Europe, Did you ever travel in a “gay party"? I did—once. It was my first trip, and Lt came back with a hazy recollection of a body of buildings completely surrounded | the FELON Wow akas ek by Ameriean veils, As I recall {t, the Tomb of Napoleon looked rather grotesque through .+ ‘en chiffon, while Poet's Corner in Westminster Abbey was very fas- | cinating through mauve and violet and cerulean, Even the Tower of London ald not rise tepmost crown. Now, there ts a charm about the foretener on his own native shore, just «s ) there 1s about the American on HIS native shore. Rut when you try to graft | one on the other—well tt is as though you had eaten tce cream with lobster sulad above the vel ‘s, and all I saw of the crown Je: 8 was the tp of the| G-o-o-d N-i-g-h-t! Copyright. 1911 by The Presy Publishing ( Aw- SAY-BILL, Y’CAN KETCH ’em_SO 10NG! C'MON Bhi! You GOTTA GET USED TO 'T, B.LL- IT'S GREAT, SPORT! New suit ¢ + 8 Co (The New York World HATHA! Wie He WAS N'7 LooKin? And Then Pushed Hira over — HOt Ho! Ho! & =SPoueo His Mice ; SAY We Was SORE A FUNKY UTTLE RUNT - HA HAL SAY= ARe You A CHORUS GIRL ‘4 Wit, OF CHORVS, SIRI 0, (The New York World) By Ferd G. Long y Magazine, Monday. May 29, 1911, By Clare Victor Dwiggins Wo'Wo! Yes, Ves ES|YEs! You O1@ PRUNE | Ther was Goop oud Times — HA! WAH OH, 66 Caneress SAL You'es aWAQLLow wa ANKA Dy’say, To GOIN’ FI Bn? i. » SH IN ine Apartmenta, Mr. Lae, Mmm Soary Wanttor tinge Mrs, Gray's bell, There is no response, He rings again, inwist- ently.) Mrs. G. (4ramming on a pink kimono) What on earth ts the matter? Janitor—It iss half-past five. ma am. Mra G. (in a rage)—Well, don't you jsuppose T know {t? And will you | plouwe tell me why you Wake me up in | the middle of the night to tell me the | time? | Jantior Mlankly)—Didn't tt vase you tol me last abit you aiff mew doiiar if T call you from half-past tive diss | morgen? | Mrs. G. (shrieking)—What! Me? Say, have you been drinking? Janitor (indetinitely)-Vell, some vun tol dot de alarm clock vase broke and dey must caught a train und dey ef me a dollar if T call from half-past five-an’ I ought It vaas you. Mrs. G. (almost speechtens)—The idea of waking a respectable family out of a | sound sleep at five o'clock in the morn- ing! (Slams door.) Janitor tries the next rings Leo's bell.) Mr. L. (cobwebs tn his votce)—Well? Janitor (meelly)—It tes half-past five. Mr. L.—Well, what the—what are you telMng me for? Say, i* that what you wot me out of bed for? Janitor (most mildly)—Didn’t tt vase Mis’ Lee tol’ me to call from half-past five? Mr. L. (sternly)—-Mra, Lee ts in Chi- cago, And let me tell you If you ever ring my dell at this unholy hour again I'll come down there and when I get through with you there won't be enough left for a vacuum cleaner to take up~ see! (Slams door.) (Janitor einks Into solemn meditation. Hts soul ts wounded deeply, but anticl- best bet and Dumbwaiter Dialogucs — by Alma Wooiward euvhaig ’ ew hore Weds third attempt. He rings Sears's bell.) Yrs. 3. (answering briskly)—Yee? Janitor (appealingiy)—l¢ feo half-pagt 5 five’ Mrs. 8. (sweetly)—Yos, I know—Z've been up a half hour, but it wae very nice of you to remember, anyhow. If you'll Just watt a minute I'll get you the money I promised you, _ Mre G. (widdoniy)—Just @ moment, madam, If you please! I don't suppose you know that this man waked up Helf the house before he found who wanted to be called. And also T would suggest 4, that if you want bellboy service you = should ve In—— Mrs. 8. (hotly)—Why, the Mea! Blow dare you talk to me that way! Janitor, make her stop! G. (cackling)—Make het stop? good! I'll have you understand, jam, that my aleep ts precious to me and I don’t Intend to be deprived of tor— Mr. L. (opening his door tmpatien@y) —Will you please tell me what aif this racket ls at this hour of the moraing? Janitor, you stop tt or I'll have you fired! ¥ Mrs, (vindictively)—And I'll help you gla The gentleman hae found the tady who left the call, et leet! Mr. 1. (engerty)—Well, I'd ike to eit hor a thing or two—I'¢d— Mrs, 8. (in teara)—Jankor, make them stop! If you can't those people atop insuking me T t give you your tip. It's your to make them stop, YOU'RE JANTTOR! Mrs. G.—Just wait unt the offiee opens! I'll phone the agem. I guess you won't ring belle at five e’cloek im the morning tn this house any moret Mr. 1. (grimly)—Yes—you Detter begin to pack now, you fathead! (Mra, Sears, hysterical, cleses doer. © Mrs. Gray and Mr. Lee Go likewise.) Janitor (solemnly)—If I effer 60 wun soy > a. please patory thowshte of how much froth a| favor for any vun again, I hope { get °* er crnnnee yo Ole | dollar wit! Quy urges him to make a! killed! ; So when I go abroad again jet me just sneak off alone, when nobody ts look- Petes 7 aa ing and all my ends are asleep. Let me wander about at will with no set itin t ary and no “planned” sightseeing, and no Baedeker, and nothing but my own wi sweet will te Let me go abroad “the wrong way," by the side streets and | e : the back doors, o Le et Into the real spirit and atmosphere of things. By Wells Hastings ad Let me travel second is, not Yecause “it’s the thing to do, y'kno e Wot because I'm not partial to tidles—and the only difference between first and A d B H k seoomd class te the price and the ties in first class carriages. n rian 90o or Bi) Urchins will not run after me in the streets and beggars will not cover my we head with blessings—or curses, I shall not be hailed as “the rich American,” but Shetla| about Lads ut k ° Donyright, 10 shiashtaseitt' Risin by, e | ra nf olg as olled ; - ploit his executive ability. If Shetla)about Lady when she was little end 111 at least have the satisfaction of feeling NOT at home. Of course, there is no| (C7 ABit, 1011, by Bobbs- Merrill Company.) i aha gamit) ang 7 Bh 6 seen ee Oe CHAPTER XV. and £ hed been dieturbed, we hed at|setuing over the mopelest® oa place ike HOME—but that's Just why we like to get away from tt occastonally. SYNOPSIS OF PRECEDING CHAPTERS, ow. wo ‘ «| Was sitting over a plece of crbrotdery | least only acted under his direction; © Poor Carteret! Spending all that time and money to go to Parls—for an| ¢roay smn ace AAG WIS MP REL MRIS en Mies TO0 not eee Eine Rindore | Mental Reservations. tnd the whole footien furry, with ite|Shuld hardly have used the nickname: ° American atmosphere, As Mr, Satan sald (when he came to New York), he'll | with, Margaret. T to her famil my husband," Antonio glared Dery You look hot," ehe said, glancing Hike Of aditcorean putala Aitention fend but Mrs. Tabor did not seem to have ; 5 OE home’? et BEE | chads"), aout 19 sectns. 10 while he was asleep I eloped with this!) * ie tha inattaer Blavar vot SAT down rather uncomfort- a . noticed my allp. She was looking fixedly find that he nev It so much “at home" before, Ah, well! He won't BEL] fier rejectina’ Mervewer | other ‘handsome young gentleman |inen running?” a Ray, We had ait ct us bean | emanatha trom she ferky. puind of Rakd. | noies,cny sum She wes Mchiaa ae much of anything, but he'll be 8! and that's what Mrs, Carteret 1s going motor tour from her Stamford summer | here," | “I've Ween looking for you," T atam- made to look foolish, and I} ‘‘l must plead guilty," I sald, “of though there were some one in the goroad for poe Ser tareesedts “Out Menement hou! The two ittle men grew very red. | mered. la thought you were lost was here to bear the brunt of | giving the first alarm. Shella seemed and f natinetively mianced tn the same Yying wounded and senseless,” Neary | “Look her 4 can see or something e words were out | it alone. What had become of | worrled, and I called up Doctor Retd direction en I looked back again, Oe Sheila inek te tie “rate homes "carte noids { there bas been @ m Mrs, Carucel (before I could stop them, ts. | Rel. 1 did not know; but 1 was much | on the telephone.” Mg iW tee») & ¥ . 9 e fomme ‘sort of threat, over the head of Marearct'®| iy as well as ever, n't going iene ea ie Fytrere hed rae | mistaken tn him if he had not gone| Mra. Tabor's face clouded, and it 00 My Wat,, Betty Vincent’s Advice | |: ei ENE 5 aka See nae or ue PE Wats | a yet sao sem me aetna "ath ar shal a ve “Margarets | 4nd. ‘The only thing you've got on © Why, Shelia sald you hadn't told | his own, after alarming Lady and her| gathered in her eyes. “it was sory aa much laid up at all, I've only been & eo) Cc hi d M ° rn i ts from, breaking the speed law. Five dollars ner you were going, and couldn't | father. him, Rag ee ae My she Pest i) Uttle oyeeiren fa] a? about me } e. | Crowy finda Camice aad is fighuiug with ce would about cover my fine, | find you anywhere, and So the whole family had been upset | man orld.” . too much, Mr, Croaby. a ; n ourts. ap an arriagze hits when Bhola Tarts the ep Mg tg You are all the strangest people,"’| hecause a rather thoughtless tittle you don mind, Mr. Crosby, we will not | neart, but Em always ores caret of 4 ies r peautiful Ttallan smiles |said Mrs, Tabor, “I have been out or nan had ef hab h 7 imyself; yet netther Mr, Tat i CHAPTER XIV. anwersd me’. Werwutcteol teat well |tavn at an afternoon tew wien frienes | NOMAD Ad done out wienout thinking] "*T'oe'te my faat, feeling as If T had can seash tor let me out of thelr gee M d Matri — s f out of sight; then turned to her} at Greenwich, It was th emt little | 10 Kive notice of her Intended absence, | heard something to which 1 had molt don't itke ft.” ioney an afrimony. Gant tfallen Jord and ma rip imaginable. Ilas Lady got back 1 be@ause an offclous younng #on-in| right, She brushed the hair from her fowe- .\4 ‘ Y dear girls, do not let money enter into your con- (Contioued.) ‘Out with It, ye darur ast," she | yet?" ‘law had jumped at the chance to ex-| "Mrs, Tabor," said I, “you must for-!yead with a weary little geature of im- || siderations of matrimony. ij = Par ain said, “where Is she OS saitienersg a gonsen ——— | give me for having troubled you with patience, She looked very much a@ @ I mean, if you must choose between a man BARUCCT turned to see the fat SUG where Is ener om the matter at all. 1am stupid some- pretty wpotied child might have. Yebl 4. Sehr yo ay: Sf gah. ust -shonte na mas f Centrat Omce man trotting | nere, | Summer Resort Puzzles, _[iiner'and forrot inat™ we had been fait vainer alstoyal to tne rest at them T° whom you do not care + Who yet has @ great deal o! Aiwn the path, for a ihe host Garuocl aaked. Bian | ofclous and that you might be tired.” 4) Jistening, Of course, Mre. Tabor oney, and a man whom you do like, who ts of moderate world as if he were taking a| “Who? You look inuocent, ¢ " By Sam Lo | She flashed forth an appealing little} meant nothing; she was tired means, choose the man you like. Meta orossscounity! anamner latandin’ ihere colin’ toes v hand, Jand fretful; but etilt, 1 did not iiss te- {9a Do not hesitate, The money cannot purchase happl-|io reduce his weight. Ee came on with (have ye done with her, you an’ y me No, you are not to go; T didn't mean ing made the confidant of these family ness for you, On the other hand 1 would not advise any! wich an. inevitatie ter-of-factnoss | silly revenges? I'll teach ye to ker TONSENT TO MARRYING that, I'm not so y tired that T petulances, Lady, I knew, loved her girl to rush Into matrimony on insuMctent means. It 48] inat tt all seomed suc ently funny, ke |0Ut av things that're none av yo MY SON AND [LL OVE want to be alon ‘fact, I shall rest mother devotedly, and so did teeter Ar folly to marry @ man who cannot support you. Bus It !8| the conclusion of a farce: and when 1| busin ye leather-headed, — gar! veh Beller you WAY OBA Hee Wa Ean Ro Nad given $V9ty Abana not folly to wait until such @ time as his income warrants vine. eatin’ baboon, ye!’ She grasped him s i ehhh ” ’ i J roked around to see the other Italian ge = ‘ ape eS ND ‘L shall be very giad to,” I answered. | “How would you like {t, Mr, Crobsy,’ marriage, if he happens to be the man you love te. {COMME UP from behind it was quite | Sin pi, yooh care and shook hi ae “Lye regretted all along that [ haven't she added, “if you could never go aut 4 if ; 8 short, So not iow @ man’s lack of En U87. t0 ae | at I expected, The fat one in front| an the Nghe seemed to have gone ou been able to see you more often. Be- | for sven male oil og ER mn leouraye you if you love him, and do not allow a man’s possession of much us stooped econd ong | of ae Raha ele jes, I'm the only man in the house | Tabor has been acting so strange) ' mouey to tempt you if you do not care for him. HH icopecmcg reat Cerra Ee Seruesi, and squirmed awa for the moment, and I suppose [\this while—-as if he and Lady shared, e wrass, and picked up the kn! at appeal'ng and protesting in a torrent oughtn't to leave my post until the |some secret that they were anxtous to i Vinakel it plain ' |had kicked away. He turned {t over|Itallan too fast and mutila for m DELL HR Kane from cis ah aa f to 1A Quarrel, " axe it pain’ to him that you are not! tnoughtfully and dropped it into his lear. Shella answered incongruously 11 as vntaes Ka Mhowes SURG, shakon'l Toren tee ome a) penal ‘ AN teva Gia initarietonG Wee eco | pocket rg RUT SL an you mean? That sounds as if we were and I must have shown it. “I dou't AN who signs his le N tonto Carucel," he sald calm says he don't know any i . You’ suest, Mr. quite see why" I began. 7 s ‘No ” res, Anton ‘ary a PS baer etch ery ge na wtate of siege, You're a guest, 3 aul . I haye cailed on a young {Who signa her letter “F. T.1 15 ain, and for the murder of Shelia [once | ee ie eee ee 1 bad sald too much evidently, and 1) suddeniy. . steadily for the last throe years and we ."" weiter | Caruo cur wife t arrest OW lto male ee 8 08D tae elt angrily that {¢ Mra, Tabor knew | dy hair prickted. aot af me fie very fond of each other, During I have been engaged to a) (airence Cr as accesyory after the | “Well,” sala 1. ‘4¢ you ty f nothing of affairs [ should have been not,” I stammered n't really ail that thme we have never had @ young man for some time, but of tate | (*""! J air eaten RES fy esieye Bim, warned of the fact. “I didn't mean, think that there can be ony counts Sm ately did quarrel over 4/1 am of the opinion that he does not| “eo, ya! 4 ; eat: aM that,” [ eatd as easily as I could man-| Tabor, or anything they quarrel, Lately we qu s Soe ele ees ee cnet a do88 What!" [erled. ket him away from here, Sheila. He's ace. "Only thet the others are stii| from you." Yet t beeen to. Maneer lly trifile and it has made me very un |irtend to keep his promise to marry me. | ,, i . » | been sending black hand ors to M aw What shall I do | low can I find out if he does?” |_ "Anything either of you way,” | leon 0 ele looking for you, and I ought to let them | whether she were acting cleverly in ig- APY. we welthe inet ads ae t sp I should asa the young, Ut 1 the thin Italian, “will be used He h h : ; knoW as soon as may be that I've en norance of how much I really did knew Do not hesitate to ma es Sie iret ade | math NF A provid yy ttn | #Balnst you." anane emanate he roe sphainean more fortunate, I'd telephone if I knew oF Were actually guarded from all = ancentoward @ reconciliation men guile Mamiy’ # be fed to) “Shella broke Into a peal of laughter, ea Weer eu ere they wer knowledge of the admitted mystery, °" ch a long friendship it would be @ pity | care, and tell him of your impression. re ay eapontan. But it 1) a0 ridicul fm nok While | soram™ed after @ safe word I~ Pe | 4 ou u a J was fust the lovin’ heart of him. . ~ p let some trifle spoll your regard for His Friend. his ‘ 7 “J os RA ce Pig eae ie i ne foarte you know” Hor petulanne wan heard the orunch ef wheels Meee Gib onto, a ne b sino: ake, e's that tm uous, ut Til learn . ch other, \flts &rlend. nip. 1 Yy NenbR tetle [ate nana ae f rising again, “Because a tramp came 6 |to be sure! Ye poor, tgnorant, little |him manners, You go on back to the iM we Ne tce thai esa: uate <a | ° GIRL who signa her letter “F.| men; open your moutha an’ shut your |house, an’ you'll hear'no more from An. nto the house the other day is io reason There then are namat Baia sed Is Annoying Her. | L."" writes eyes, "Tis a miracle Til ve showin’ ye, |tonlon Ie’ & beast he. ts sometimes For BOSSI woe About a8 Ba were 6 the room with all the air of having © i ‘ es i 7 lw eis drunk, sober enough . gare 8 3IRL who signs her letter “J. M."; IT was engaged to marry a Look | 4 Maenamara, for her | , to happen aguin; and besides, there was e home merely to touch base, eo Ba | young man, but we broke our engase> | ying called Carucoh, aianda before ye (RON, wr, and when sober he haa the no danger at. the. tm (noche the-ohildren say: as if they but wished “Pam very much annoyed by | ment, although at the same time We an’ yo ay I'm murdered! Ye Uittle fi'send nim'packtr eave tien voc worte than losine some of the sjver f to Inform themselves of developments young man who persists in asking me| Yowed always to be friends, Now he pigck, beady-eyed divils, ‘tls the kes! 1 laughed, “All right, Shella,” I eald can’t see the lenat excuse for all thin before starting out upon ene! ap : go automobiling with him, I went, calls on another girl and I do not think | ay ye that goes makin’ trouble for my |"If you use the same persuasion with mystertous cautlon, And We been going Lady saw ae inl ae oe ae ng that would satisfy him, | %¢ should do go if he js, as he says, MY | man, Take off your dhtrty little fat | him zone boon using, | think you can one ee PRR Are WAM Lane witsced ot o ee | ' him |teach him almost anything.” ; | : ; ; 1 do not | friend. | paws; I'll have none av it, Take thim Ry y to the situation, Mr. Tabor coughed. “Where te Wale it Keslene Wri *nim,| 1 fear you wish to claim too much | off, ye thief, ye zany loon! Do ye think goa angaeg fe saeiore one of Breen ae Pine ‘exaggeration of their|tor?” he asked, dice t'can I do?” Se ae ot omephoee rau | 1 l09k like @ dead woman?" And aivirvoled pan Tie Mp sie atsbal And I suppose. You haven't! ‘Indeed, 1 don't know,” Mrs. Taber ig fuse firmly to accept the young] are no longer his fiancee andftherefore | ‘The fat Itallan dangied his handcufls jy breath and thoughts, wondering. If h and they worry need. answered rath ay “What @ seg "a invitations, You can even word! not privileged to object to atten- | as if they had been eye-glasses. 4 Mr. Tabor had returned. Mr. \ hat two Long Island summer resorts are represented In the picture? See answer in tomorrow's Evening World it matters so much, Didn't you used to feel the same way earth do you want of him? (Te Continued, | refusals in euch @ way @@ to tions he may pay other sly] (To He Contl » ‘It 2 true," he said, she is like the Taebor's hat was sii missing from the