The evening world. Newspaper, May 11, 1911, Page 18

The Evening World Daily Magazine, Thursday, May 11, 1911. Bi0% 4 Mr. and Mrs. John. 4 Wiorld. By Maurice Ketten. Sayings of &© & & & Mrs. Solomon fan i en a hy Being the Confessions of the the "ows yb: 3. ANGUS, SHAW, Pros. and Trees, Published Dafly Except Sunde rane Jubtiehing Company, Nos. 53 to 63 ew York Tosser PULITZER Junior, Beo'y. | 63 Perk Row, aneereg SS tie Peg Ries at New Vork a4 Second-Ciess Matter VS *. th f Evening | For England end the Continent and n Hundredth Wife Boe OL amar Ngee” a rol RAENG, Foe You Muon 00 That. Seven Fae She Rows::: sey1s OF-88 One Sites Ce eas To FILL, bean Bont Nou Wow THERE Gaslated By Helen Rowland VOLUME 61... ccccccecseceeee evceseecseess NO, 18,160, id NEW Yortc Coprright, 1911, by The Prew Publishing Ov, (The New fork World.) OW long, oh, my Daughter, wilt thou encowrage men to persecute thee with their “I'm-so-sorries” | and their “Never-againe?” For, verily, verily, HVERY man bdelteveth that @ | totfe’e FORGIVHNESS te Made of india rubber, warranted to stretch over multitude of backslidings, | And WHAT man doudteth that a broken promise may be glued together with kisses and a broken heart mended with soft soap? » Lo, manQ years did I He awake nights, weeping for Solomon's sins! And when he came unto me in the morning with his “Forgive-me's” I re. ceived him with open arms, crying: “Beloved, tell me ALL!" Yet, after ten years, I slept soundly. a And when he approached me I anawered him, saying: a “@o thy ways! Do whateoever thou PLEASHST, but come not unto MB toith thy tale of woe. For I would SLEEP! Lo, | am NOT a human aa) deposit for thy conacience!” “ 1 Go to, my Daughter! CONFESSIONS are but the soothing syrup with | which a man atilieth his conectence. And hie sins would seem much less attractive if he had not the pleasure f BANKERS AND POLITICS. | EPORTS from Albany from varions sources show that the proposed overhauling of the State Bank- | ing Department has become one of tho chief | issues of the session. One report, indeed, asserts | that the members of the Legislature do not re- | gard the matter eeriously because they do not be- | lieve it will be undertaken. In other words, they | deem the issue too serious to be treated seriously. In their judgnent any lifting of the lid would precipitate an explosion. That big secrets of politics as well as of finance are likely to be brought to light should the inquiry be prosecuted with an intelli- gent zeal is generally conceded. There is no telling what kind of fish would be hauled up from the under-depths by a dragnet sinall | enough in its mesh to entch the little ones and strong enough in ite H) cords to hold the biggest. Some say ¢he process would cause such SToP TwaT-USE KE - tam TRYING To Ter NO WONDER THERE 1s a wareR 1 wal For TH GET-Sone Waren Wcooe oF j WATER TO SHAVE \WANTA of “regretting” them occastonally. /\ a disturbance in the banking business as would affect the whole Lo, after a cold bath and he wife's forgiveness he can return unto Ale “country. | FOLLIES with RENEWED enthusiasm. =. Taki ; Uke unt morowned saint, and Me ndf t* 'Paking these various estimates at their face valuc, it would He goeth forth feeling Wke unto an w nd seem that an inquiry is imperative. We need it both for politics and for business. adorneth him as a halo. onewsisegan: > ¥ Yea, he i PUFFED UP with righteousness! . Yet, I say unto thee, for OND man that riformeth through Me wife'e forgiveness ninety-and-nine shall slip back int: the droad and joyful wor with redoubled energy. But Re that hath NO repository for hie conscience shall think. twice 'ere he backelideth. . Yea, having no “rid,” Re shall seek to oultteate co BACKBONE. Verily, verily, in time doth a man'e PENITENOE get upon 6 women's y Be | nerves; and his kise of REMORSE te more to be Greaded than are he sine. lifted up @ voice of complaint. “Things that Her- | 2 ZY For @ woman's fasth te Hike unto a cobweb, which, once SHATTERED, . bert Parsons stood for have been forgotten,” he | | | cannot be patched up! Selah! said. “This process of progressive elimination ‘ seems to be all that is left of the recent pro- | | sgressive platform of our organization.” y. -Yet, sad as this may seem, things are not eo bad. In the Ex- | *eeutive Committee the vote on the election of a chairman stood | twenty-three to thirteen. Thus the two hoodoo numbers confronted | | one another, and it is inevitable that one or the other becomes a mas- | | cot. This fact is symbolical. It is to be noted further that about the time the vote in the “committee was being taken a report was circulated that Col. Roose- | syelt would spend next year at the North Pole shooting bears. This | 4 ————_+4e—_ PROGRESSIVE ELIMINATION. TATE SENATOR NEWOOMB, addressing the Re- | publican County Committee on the occasion of | the election of @ successor to President Grisoom, +e Jungle Tales For Children. AREN'T You Gong THERE IS 4 ‘To WASH To- Day 2 SnorTage OF WATER - (Hic) WIFEY DEAR. Copyright, 1911, by The Prem Publishing Oo, (The New York World). . ICK-TOCK! Tick-tock!" Jimmy Monkey was visiting the Baby Baboon when he heard a noise that interested him. peeked into the holes in the back then looked eround for comeing pour in the holes, and he caught aigti! of the ink bottle, and into the Gack of the clock went the mk. ! Co Be ‘*Tiok- tock! The wheels began to sputter anf the ‘Tiok-tock!"* ink flew all over Jimmy. He looked eFeport was personally denounced not as a “lie,” but as “nonsense.” | poe eenea ae ie ore ray Staredl eh ee The change of phrase is significant. | Jimmy of the| stloky atuff into Mrs. Baboon's clock. In short, Herbert Parsons is not the only thing that is being Baby Baboon. eliminated and forgotten. The world is improving. Then the wheels stopped. And, try ap His little friend he might, he could not make the clock pointed to the| go egain. 6o he put it up on the man- ° oo clock on the man-| tel and went to the looking glass te vp ina iiMy and| "Gracious!" ne eat an Ro caught ' . WATER WASTE AND RATES. wins sity | grabbed the clock and took it down on the floor. It in- | terested him immensely. He put it to his ear and then smelled it. He looked at the little hand buszing around, and it) ail fascinated him, downstairs and looked at the clock. — It wasn't long before he got a etring| “Why, it's 6 o'clock," she said, “and and hung the clock around his neck | tt'e time for you to go home, Jimmy.’ and sat admiring himaelf in the gless., But it was only 8 o'clock and Jimmy The children were eo quiet that Mrs.| aid not want to go @ bit. Baboon shouted downsteirs: When Jimmy got home his mothér t are you up to, my dea: | eatd: e are having a good tim “You have been up to some mischief, sight of the dirtiest monkey he bea ever seen. There was @ big black spot over nfs eyes and his nose was all spattered with ink. Just then ‘Mrs. Baboon came R. NATHAN HIRSOH, an expert on water supply, is quoted as saying that he knows a restaurant | in this city that reduced its water bill from 8153| to $122 a month by watching and guarding against | waste, and of a hotel that saved $100,000 last year by the practice of a like economy. x say These figures are trifles compared with the Cnormous use or waste of water in New York, yet they are perhaps Mr. Jarr Hearkens to Chunks of Language ’' That's So Clever No One Can Understand It. By Roy L. McCardell. “And now he’s Ukening them to mon- temism has, with the progress of ex-) straight in plain English about Totem- | ' ” ; - et into bed until I and fairly illustrative i 4 keys,” thought Mr. Jarr, with a keen| ploration and ingress of civilization, be |ism. You have not touched upon| Jimmy, as he began to wind the clock| and you just get “ filet hs iad = incurred by the present reckless system ad ees de) :te fay GMs appreciation of the impudence as well as| come irretrievably desuous, It is aiso|Exogomy at all as yet, I believe?’ he| and make the hands spin round, Hel out what it I and wastin; < th r z y ni i ie ies aaa Srna ; iB & the supply. We are now confronted by an, fan Mr, Dinkoton tn his eetcawas |e copious vocabulary of the recentiy| to be deplored that many of ite c added to Dinkston. flouted adventurer, emergenc i Naty acteristic usages and significations “It 1a @ kindred anthropological tople rei ry ‘i a that gives them something more than a statistical value. for the great trial of) even mentalities Jefune, would senge I|delphic creana to the modern investi- |that I refer to later,” eald Mr. Dink- i ; ~ y No means 60 abundant as it was. Public necessity will Mpahatioes bias He you," Mr. Dinkston| gator by reason of the indifference of | ston. | H in t Ss fo r t h e G ir ] soon compel the practice of private fos i ot Seaver Ye Alle our progenitors in solving the symbola| “Oh, it’s all right, we ain't hedgin t site Pp ai economics in the matter. ‘T'hore- Harem, _ in Wha Ad “How far has he got on?” asked! and perusing the hieroglyphicr said Gus uneasily. ‘Wait till he : h f J b ore it is just as well to have it understood that economy means a mee Pre hg Slavinsky in a hoarse whisper, “I'm| “Hey! That ain't fair! That's a for-|to that whatever ft is, then ‘ In Ss eare oO a oO ¥ enaes twits § , faving of money as well as of water. At BFesent thelaverere’ Weuns: Rion vee onatang |S ng t9 oan ft a draw and take down| eign Innguage," nai Beppler. we'll h ry Mr. Schmitt shook his head doubtfully, holder is wasting both. the customary felic!- “We won't take no adwantage of him But Mr, Jarr shook his head. fer doing it," said Gus, sullenly, “all we tations as to the and the others were not at all happy. © see herself as the boss) in an orderly and easy shape. Natural- to, the| “To return to my thests of Totemtsm| want is our money back.” {t was apparent, at their chances in| 66 will see her should be tho|ly nervous, you flunk in the test and Jayh/ Rerwonal ulehritude| and Bxogomy,” sald Mr. Dinkston, not] “Nothing doing,” anid Mr. Jarr, the ,elther understanding Mr. Dinkston's first concern of the appit-| you are mortally certain the man who | 5 Deiter Nashiens heeding the interruption, “I must pre-| umpire, as Pinkston paused and yawned | verbiage or his subject-heads. | cant, and {t tmplies moro| hires hee not jotted down “good ad | Wile mot desiring | muse that the aboriginals are being sub-| slightly, as though in no doubt as to| “Chaos tn Toteryiam has reeutted, areca. Nolene thinking’ ana ‘Cesealaaes. 4 # than whe cares to worry Jugated and transformed and that To- over at ordinary times. cogent definition ts almost irretrievably lost, because competent pedants have to be derogatory, his decision. “He's giving {t to you albeit it ts germane %: * on the margin of your applir | The Ladders Length, ! To the Editor of The Brening Wartd A correspondent aska: “Tf a ladder 100 feet long was raised against building 4nd was 10 feet from the building at the vase, at what height would the Indder | yest against the building?” Square the cheight of the ladder or hypotenuse (100 | fret), which ts 10,000 feet, then square| the distance it 1s placed from the butld- ing at the base, 10 feet, which ts 100 Yet. Then subtract 100 from 10,000, and of the remainer, 9,900, find the square root, which it 99.40+feet, which ts tho height at which the ladder wil rest st the wall. Rule from the square of the hypotenuse: subtract the square of the » and the square root of the Yemuinder is the perpendicular. P. GORML To Cheek Crime Wav To the Editor of The Evening World ‘able amount of dis- Prevention of crime, It art by bringing up children Several causes make ohudren criminals, notably neglect on the part properly. | with ¢alke on moral questions and ‘aim- | Ra friends will tend to make him mani iy, 00d natured and uneelfish. The director or leader will generally inspire the boys iar ones, Therefore I think the right sort of olubd will have fine influence in fostering true blooded Amertoan apirit Among the young folk. BLK. Finders on To the WAttor of The Erening World: I answer “David's" request in regard to range finders and their use on warships in the United States Navy. The range | finder ts as a general rute found on the forward bridge or fighting top, It is| also found in the after top If the ship carries one, It 1s an instrument about | ree feet in length and three inches | in diameter, open at both enda and the! jmiddie. When tt ts first turned upon the object or ship, It divides the object in two parts: a top and bottom. A screw ts then turned under the centro | hole, which brings the two parts to ‘ the premises, 1 canno advance my Predicate without indulging in @ com- Prohensive generality to the effect that the generic appellation of ‘osseous cra- ms' meht be applied to practically all present, exchisive of the arbiter,” here he bowed to Mr. Jarr, ‘and the ora- tor, And this is promulgated with no Predilection toward vituperation.” Mr. Jarr grinned es he eaw the awed expression on the faces of Gus, Slavin- aky, Bapplor, Schmitt and Muller, And he wondered, come what might of the with each that they would not under- @tand) by calling them a@ tot of bone- heads, “At the onset it ts perceptible,” re- med Mr, Dinkston, after motatening Is throat, “that avy chotoe of diction ig | reat love Hke |incomprehensive to your simian cere: | Mn bellums."* Some day you === == - my reward will | gether; forming one piece. ‘The operator | then reads from @ dial the distance Coppering the Old Bet. Lately I have contest, whether he could ever be able i I will have ona to tell them that Mr, Dinkston had be. (Sixteen) to Mandeville 4 kun his talk (whtah he had bet a dotlar| Fortesque, Dear Mr. ave never received any re- piles to the many letters I have written you I am not discouraged. A for the weary months of waitin, Notes That By Alma Woodward T am going to be door next Saturd. Fortescue—Although | 2@PP¥» will you Just @et into your car? It J such a little mine will survive any- will smile at me, and more than compensate been reading in one of turn for the wealth of stlent lov lavish upon you! Yours til de ETHEL MARJORIE GLOVER. From Mandebille Forie:cae’s Crossed in the Mail Copyright, 1011, by The Pres Publishing Co, (The New York World). From Ethel Marjorie Glover outalde the stase after the matinec. core rest your gorgeous eyes on me for a moment before you thing to ask in re- th, bouquet of | lies of the valley and lavender orchids. | If you want to make me deliriously | j not compiled records of the usages of expiring tribes." continued Dinkston, en idle for me to attempt, nh this colloquy, to give you ethnographical survey of To- Schmkt, winced at the word as though, like the the delicatessen dealer, constant dropping of water, it was getting upon his nerves, Gus retreated into @ numbed and stony state of mind and gaze, end Slavineky wet his Ups nervously with his tongue, He would have moistened them as Dinkston had now paused to moisten his, only the thought obsessed Slevin- sky that the affair was already euf- fictently costly for him. Beppler and Muller were gazing, as though hypnotized, first at the money Mr. Jarr held tightly (the etakes at issue), and then at the speaker, who, ‘having motstened hig throat again, re- sumed his discourse like a college professor at a cornerstone laying. “In the brochure of Totemism and To look hi to make he: her brightest way is not enough. must coach herself to do a little rapid thinking and extempore talking on the spur of the moment, and de able to regulate the same according to mani- festations behind the frosted glass par- tition. neatest and primest and Uttle application speech tn ‘The applicant who has the intuition and the quick sense to adapt herself et once to the peculiar tastes and likes of her employer is generally the lucky one, Every expertenced applicant knows that no two employers are allke in their ways and methods, says the Ohicago ‘Tribune. Some like to hear themselves in edgewise. Othera assume a sphinx- | ilke pose and expect you to give @ per- | tectly sensible account of yourself. Still |othere ask many confusing questions which may tangle your powers of good address, You have surely met the one talk and won't allow you to get a word |’ cation. You know the votes are all for the girl who can give a quick, brigit synopala of her past and present when She | she 1s asked for it. Propebly you will master the gabgift later on—even able to etagger the man who Mres with your brillant synopsis. ‘Then de on your guard. Don't let your tongue go ke @ trip hammer when you excounter the boas who woeld rather hear his own voice and won't de dlotted out by any presuming candidate. Be Giscreet about interrupting. Don't pa> rede your vocabulary or your culture when the boss shows symptome of be- ing shy of the sane. When you epeak of your qualifications avoid the brag- grfocto atyle as much as possible, There eing many unfathomable things in human peychology, you can never tell how one: little slip of the tongue, an absurd mannerism, or a fancy twang tn your voloe may work to your disadvantage. The too eelf-as- mured attitude on the part of the appli- | i Exogomy, to which I refer, Dinke back in hia swivel chair com-| cant fe not more welcome tha a eee of parents, bad surroundin; [1m yarda. He then aends the distance the evening papers accounts of the great) — Secretary to Ethel Marjorie |ston went on, “there are @ vast accum- page floors you with an am-| fear or tima humility: ae (3 Ben spellhen gina ge a and lack! by electric signal boxes to the gun historic loves, and I know by comparing ulation of data, amplifications and eth- flenous demand like this: “Now tell me sil 1 : : Marte Rig A ipa Keep them) pointer, who regulates his sights ac- my love to these that have come down Glover. nographic erudition, Ah, but you ask all about your previous experience.”” There i natural friction between the ti of the best means to! cordingly. The distance 1a almost al through generations just how great tt 1s, me ‘What {s Totemism? 1 wit tei|*¥ # showy, brilliant girl who parades as i gneck erime to e extent f@ to make ways within one yard of being correct T have told you before that T am only IF Deer Miss Glover—-AMr. Fortess | yoy, " 1 a: ! ee ee ain ae . | you It seems you don't get all the facts | many ideas as Iimtted time will allow, i Dettered moratiy, poole ed } Lg ie I am an ex-gun pointer of the good old sixteen, but Juliet was two years young: | ue, be] — by to Pigg the!" phe audience stirred with eager before you in the twinkling of an eye—|and the mute manager who does mors . val- ship Wisconsin, which took the gunnery qr than that, and she died for her love inclom collection Of mono! interest, ’ gue inkin, cally. His association with the right! trophy in 190 3 S Romeo. 1 would #1e for you if ywu|srammed stationery to you, with the| wnctemiam te defined as the intimate| REF can vou get them over your congue | thinking than talking, SS wanted me to! Irequest that you refrain from sending | relation which is supposed to exist A Bevy of Odd Facts. Every time you come on the stage |any more. Mr. Fortescue's mail is extremely heavy, and {t bores him to be com- between groups of kindred people on the one side and a epecies of natural or artificial objects which we designate the strangest emotions surge over me— Just like chills and fever! In fact, one rches for use in) of whic 'e been supplied to| Andrew 1 ¢ has been declared innocent, A Will go free, CETYLENE the Paris pol (lay I came so near fainting with the |pelled to open unnecessary correspond-| a. totems, on the other. The totem’— dehy — foy of seeing you that since then T have lence, Also, the heavy musk odor with | spy interrupted Gus, “I got him! ‘There's @ eploe of truth in the en Of the thirty-six women recently clect-| - ime % for bessing. John Murphy, always carried @ bottle of ameliing| which the notes are scented disturts| ! 1 know tt now!" A Suggestion. bow who weld ‘of his offion bor! , 4 Aurty’ Neola teamster, was asked if he had th! alts in ny pocketbook him, 1 consequently upsets his per- will have to walt till to- HEY had reachel the outer portals of the ‘Well, Henry, 1 ae ed town councillors in Sweden seventeen ‘ h : | c | there going through |@"y of the games sum, “If T had that much I'd get mar- | 1 should think you could feel the| formance. . morrow to learn of Gus's solving of| front door end were as, er ied twice are school teachers, oe ti ‘i the reocene of parting, very lingering!y, nf re he replied, adoration 1 tre on you during the| Mr. Tortercue begs you the anthropological and etymological! “syryen 1 ay good might. to you this evening,” | 4,808 Suid ba Because sho did not wish to bear the ci ee i play—it Is #0 intense and seorehing fended at his apparent } |mystery that Dinkston was — pro=| gurgiel Mr, Youngdow, ‘do you think Mt would | much against the game name as the eecond wife of her rmany does a very large and prof. | | 1 bought two m of your photo-| wishes to siate that he pounding. | be ‘Proper for me to place one reverent Kise upon | Globe Democrat. divorced husband, Mrs. Allene i» trade with graphs to-day at that place on the ave-|charming grandson, a trifle older th (ee ee y rnd i pete : books printed in nue and I have them hanging at the | you are, to whom ‘he will with pleasure | | 2 Nichols got permission to resum . —— Laqndetly on his shoulder, ? {sent every year to Japan. things my eyes rest on when I wake up| He requasts me to say that although | — — S 2 Mherachlectal fa oo pterdinee | A Philadelphian hes obtained # patent, in the morning. this grandson has hair of vermilion hy» “What would you do if you were Resurrection. cat emp | for an acrial advertising sign, waved Michael Donnelly two, an Irtsh | 4 You are so gloriously handsome and/and a super@bundance of family - | PyRPSIDUNT JOHNSON of the Amertcan| ,,."TReemimmer has Me delights, but it also has faa electric motor suapended from two |tmmigrant qua ed in Cleveland tor| “What do you say to an elope)... strong, An Apollo in tooks and a|freckles, he is a very pleasant lad, w a go in for Belgian hares and TLenge was pointing ont to a avorting ei 4 Grambecis, | 1 beant one woman say" to ane | captive balloons. sma , when told that all of his per | ment? f Heroules in strength and the expres-| absolutely no stage tendenctes! poultry and mushrooms, I've alw | 4 fat te pele money-making powibil- ‘My husband ¢ petnepoken, He calls! | — jsonal effects must be burned, succeeded | “It would be such a disappointment | sion of an angel—and you wear such Very truly yours, been 1# to know Just how muoh | {Hes of the laadhell busines ws no anid, | O80? made ag After having served twents years in'in inducfog the health officials to exempt | to father! He has made all the wed-|classy clothes! How could any woman ALEXANDER M. &MITH, — | monew there is in those things."—EX- | wryey give thelr time end money to baseball, | 5 . the, other woman, yng the Western penitentiary for a murder 4 shamrock he had brougat with him, | ding arrangements|” _. belp loving you? " GSecretary.. — change, = = | though the Reavens fall, { betula) - ) serematntintiiet ee eT oe