The evening world. Newspaper, January 12, 1911, Page 18

The Evening World Daily Magazine, Thursday, Janua Can Y-ou Beat It? 1911. i a) Published Daily Except Sunday by the Press Publishing Company, Sua Sayings of . M Noa, 53 to 63 | "ark Row, New York | rs. Solomon Postal Union $3.50 | One Your. ‘ SuBway, 80 | One Month. . Your HONGR, ( 1 WANT ON! WITHOUT STRAPS. | SEE MY SHOULDER \eeneinne es Sng : 3. ANGUS, SHAW, Pros. and ‘Treas,’ JOSEPH PULITZER, Junior Sec'y, | By Mau rice Ketten. H Eestered at the PoscOrice at BecondeClawe Siatier, | Being the Confessions of the Seven ' erid for the United States trios In th. International DARN THAT Handredth Wife. ’ LWANT ONE WITH Translated By Helen Rowland. A SEAT FoR EVERYE YOUR HONOR — SeEEMyY ARM Copyright, 1911, ty The Press Publishing Co, (The New York World), EHOLD, my Daughter, the Doubters have come B unto me, saying: “WHERE hast thou gathered thy knowl edge of MEN? For lo, a woman may have TEN hus- bands yet understand NOT one of them. “And how shalt thou, having but ONE husband, even SOLOMON, as- sume to know ALL ment" Go to! I say unto thee, a woman that knoweth ONE man well knoweth the COMBINATION which admitteth her to all men's hearts, even as an hotel pass-key. Yea, and a woman that understandeth her OWN sex shall likewise HE real reason why the cause of woman suffrage has made greater progress England than America is that our British cousins have a sense of humor which we lack! his statement sounds like a staggerer, but it was made in in in sober rnést by the Rev. Dr. | Know the OPPOSITE sex; for they are as the night and day, exactly Charles F. Aked, at a suffragist antithetical, ’ rally in the Broadway Theatre, a Behold, a woman goeth in roundabout ways, reasoneth in CURVES ‘ and argueth in circles, day or two ago, Furthermore, Dr. But a man moveth in a STRAIGHT LINE, and NOTHING shall turn him from his course. A woman is like unto a DOG, which cheerfully followeth him she loveth, nto the ends of the earth, and gratcfully receiveth a pat on the head and a kind word, But a man, even as a CAT, wandereth where he listeth, returncth only at meal times, and ‘desireth to be LET ALONE. For a woman loveth a PEOPLE, but a man loveth PLACES. And he clingeth always to that woman who maketh him most COM- FORTABLE. Lo, a woman regardeth marriage as the beginning of life, dut a man regardeth it as the END of “liberty and of the pursuit of happines: A woman taketh love slowly, even as she sippeth her wine, but a man hath emptied the bottle and forgotten it ere she hath begun to feel the intoxicating influence of love. “A woman's heart holdeth only one tenant at a time, but the heart ofa man is like unto a street car, in which there is always room for more. A woman remembereth tenderly every man whom she hath kissed, but a man remembereth MOST tenderly those women whom he hath FAILED to kiss. Aked said he could prove it by “Punch.” Now, he admitted, what- soever things are solid, stolid and stodgy, those things you will find in “Punch,” the mirror of the Eng- lish middle-class mind—so that it y suffra this dreadnought of comic journalism comes out, as it did recently, with a cartoon in which two typical London street arabs are watch- ring a “magnificent procession” of suffragettes, and one kiddo says {to the other, “Well, Chawley, I suppose we'll ‘ave to give it to ‘em | at last.” 1 From the “Punch” viewpoint, it may perhaps be admitted with- out loss of self-respect that we are at times a bit slow in appreciating A j the point of humor in a joke. But there is more than that in the ae 3 Lone quoted. It is a sign of the times. t “That cartoon m Dr. Aked © PUNte with THAT Supway t IWANT ONE WHERE (WON'T BE Your Honor ! 1M dicts oF Thar SuBWAY- WANT ONE WITHOUT GUARDS To PuSH ME Teme: means somethin re when declares, “that the British | and are exercising it so nobly and so ably.” We had an idea that the time was about past when it could, be said of the politicians in petticoats that “They are a side-show | in politics and a holy show to the public.” There is no telling where | the American sense of humor, such as it is, would lead us, if we| were to assume a quizzical attitude toward the innumerable manifesta- | 4-tions of feminine power, activity and influence as reflected in the » News of the day. oy Here in one morning’s paper we read announcements of meet- "ings of the Women’s Medical Association of New York, the Women’s » Republican Club, and a conrse of lectures on “Home Hygiene” ar- “Syanged by a committee of the Federation of Women’s Clubs in con- junction with the public heelth education committee of the Medical Society. The automobile show is thronged with lone women who "not only own but also drive their own machines. The Washington Irving High School girls are lay. ing bricks for their new school- t nt, ‘A woman never hath a reason for that which she doeth, but a man ean ¥ t public, with the very elementary sense of humor with which God has | find an hundred reasons for anything he wisheth to do, } seen fit to endow it, has actually perceived the utter silliness of keep- O.To---- WITH THAT SuBway! CoN EAN, oe _ When love dieth a woman closeth the door of her heart and locketh it Be “Ling the vote from women who have already so much political power [WANT ONE THAT WonT GET STUCIy Mo INTERSORO ile IN, but @ man closeth the door of his heart and locketh it OUT. r SEE WHAT MY WIFE DID To ME UG | For @ woman feedeth on MEMORY and is satisfied, but unto a man the BUILOING AN OTHER BecAUSE | WAS LATE Ss memory of yesterday's kiss is no more satisfying than the memory of yes- terday's dinner, A woman changeth her mind more often than she changeth her fash- fons, but a man never changeth in anything except his HEART, Herein, my Daughter, have I given thee the COMBINATION by which thou mayest understand MAN. Therefore, I charge thee KNOW THYSELF and thou shalt not be fooled by ANY man. Selah? iThe Jarr Family Me They Attend a Home Drama of Heartbreak and Stolen Carls Copyright, 1911, by The Press Publishing Co. ke By Roy L. McCardell. parlor while Mrs, Jarr followed the gen- E are going to stop in for Mra UBWAY y ee ev 39 vs (The New York World), Vteet maid up the genteel and somewhat smelly sta! Mote (Bila lgiealien aa 5 “oh SW Hickett,” sald Mrs, Jarr, as! In a few moments the maid retumed house, he woman’s welfare de- ry} 9 B Cl L Cc ll the street car bowled along. | and announced to Mr. Jarr that he was partment of the National civic] $*CGheer Up, Cuthbert! y Clarence L. Cullen} ees ropa tas |r asia oy ie tie igeiee ae " ‘i . . : . ae : no compunetion| He went up. Mrs. Hickett, an ex- Federation, New York and New about how they|tremely stout lady, arrayed in a very Jersey section, holds forth at the} comrans, 1011, Uy The Drews Publishing Co. | who, despising you, keeps right on atrok- | Cove Put youout We're) ornate ~but: somewhat soled dtocma with that Stuff long before he's of pretty middlin’ good fellows long before you were born! New York Wor linking Reference late as it Is, and| was shedd now w. have to| shabby ar: Stop at Mrs, Hick- ett's!” ‘ tears as she reclined in @ in; mu th ht w ig you the right way chair, Mrs. Jarr ad- ministering comfort and smelling salts. Mr. Jarr will excuse my appearance, Waldorf to-night. A few newspa- per headlines that catch our eye are: “Women in Mad Riots to En- forty! is a pretty 0d} Don't Take it to Heart Too Much—| The quite young chap who sort o' | | brags to bis office mates that he was | We're willing to go through with that 7 . +, 7 | 7 i i cid 1 Th g once q 5 It! won't he Oh, dear! Oh, dear! moaned P ary : They may “sell pickled last night Wil be Getting Under | te same thing happened to millions | Acid t Thing once in a great while, | The Jarrs, |, dear ni ter Court-Room,” “Girl Detective Mis attra ibelgy ctucad ahaa decd ede chee sesh Eds a did but we're not going to let them erect may be mentioned, | Mrs, Hickett. ™ 1" pe ", Mantes aalivaee the it into the Every-Day Stuff! were on their way an't go to Mra, Stryver's! Ian't ; 1 of Trap,” “Wife a Good Gun panel pitied laa — to a musicale and | it terrible?” explained Mrs. Jarr. Fighter,” “Actress Swings Right permit them to! Somehow we just can’t help warming | re reception at thej “‘W: n't g0 80 far as to say and Knocks Out Masher,” “Club. Ten Roads fora up to @ feller who stops to stroke a| MOV > MTCAWDML oO oistial residence| that,” began Mir. Jarr, but, seeing aie Spee apne Reet Nothing ever is . horse's nose! Mrs. whose picture you/neither lady was heeding him, he man’s Clothes Sold to Pay Wife's | lutely " “los Happy Bu siness Wom an : IEE sens y see, ever and anon, on the second | stopped. : Alimony,” and “Colorado Woman : n Live Bo- | eres ee ove ae He society asy, ts carne Basiein: Bessy ie an) Eevee ae 1 ore (uery ay a a, ., * . Peep's sheep By ae Leader and Cly yoman Why yo dre: y ibable: 4 Says, ‘We Have Fun Shooting at} uaiie bad | By Sophie Irene Loeb Bacon! sumed Her Wednesdays.’ moaned Mrs, Hick To think! To Tenderfoot’s Boots to Make Him | a | i a cover player throw | wir sare sfeached in under his walst-| think! that MY daughter should treat Dance!” If it were any Copsright, 1911, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York World), fe mever see a poker player throw] coat and, catching the lower edge of| me s¢ A 'the Inevitable American Declaration, of best hotels are overcoming the pre. Th public, {when the Trust is up for Supreme C Can we be blamed, as a nation, if we incline to take these things | oy *herious! ly? $ 4 ; A Tobacco Tragedy. £ Ge the Hair of The krening World tT took a package of stogies into a sub- Seway train. ‘They were nestled close to my breart. Stogies are not gross lke Ge" ordinary cigars; they ave slender, dell- wy gate. Moreover,’ these stogics we: | Bhort, small; mere children, so to speak, At was thoughtless of me, doubtiess, to wortake them into such a place. 1 was there wt fifteen minutes—from one express * station to the next. The struggle was “To"short and sharp. 1 took a package of ~* slender and fair, into the sub- When I reached home I fill ¥ pipe with their dust. JO} None Universally Observed, To the Editor of The Evening World 4 Are there any national holidays? ‘ WA. “ For an American Language. “To the KAitor of The Evening World In a recent editorial you state that | we have no great A an opera Ay wHere is the answer: We will have great ov) American opera as son as enough 2 “Americanism pervades ou “Americans to give ‘to “thelr own language there {s enough America ~ Agnate as the American ox peech which grew Its world-prepo ance in American soll. { Bhakespeare, Schiller, Mbliere, W * sner—go through the whole lst to the I—one will find each worked in, and. and through a language whi "had a home name, an indigenous ni (not an exotic one, The language ts © sthe lie, and the name of the languaxe “has ever been the name ofthe ever-living productions and of the productive ever- & «living. Just how far we now are from own! and so the consumption of tobacco is stimula and to cause | name Slowly but surely the | judice against women smoking in | ed at a time LASTING dis- grace to be Fired From a Job we could cite you a lot of Railroad Pres- idents and Such Like who'd be hang- ing their heads in shame! Taking it as a general proposition, the Girl at Home is going to stick to Her Man just as long as he's Worth Shoot- ing! ‘ourt notoriety, ro mind being The Candy Kid, That's as far as he ever gets! masterplece untll our lang larly termed and statutorily ag the American language. ACOL. BACK ES. Engines and t Boy” Bell, To the Taitor of The Evening World As to the inquiry regarding “Red | Smokestacks": 1 was born in Spring- fleld, Mass., and well remember the N, H. and H.ARR, locomotives with the red stacks. These same engines had red wheels, and brass bands surrounded the boilers about three feet apart, Bach engine was known by Its name, which Was painted directly under the wit dows on the sides of the cab, When only four years of ase 1 ran away from home and went to the depor in Springteld (about one-half mile fro) |where I lived) in order to see "the | 1 was taken in charge by a nan, Who took me to the City H they tolled the bell for me, as cuptom in those days for lost| : RWS, | Advice to Parents. To the Kaitor of The Evening Workl If most parents would give careful con- aidera| § up their daughters | to le duties of home life, cook | Ing, needlework, cleanliness, housework, regularity, order, economy, to keep the home attractive, read instructive books | and maga te thelr spare time to healthful pleasure, teach them to be modest, affadle, unselfish, thoughtful, g00d mannered and above all, God-fear- ing there wovld be less unhappiness in ge ts pont recognize The man who Jes a Chip on his Shoulder and Totes a Gun at the same time always finds what he's look- ing for! i mies 1s as dull as to To have no ¥ have no Hob! The fellow who doesn't lke you and he doesn't ds a dozen dangerous than the eh shows you that times Stop, Thief! ines, dey ‘Name-Independence is unknowable, But this nay ‘be predicted with utter confi- never will be @ great i opera, or epic, oF literary Dies) | | | married life. It is t that hundreds | lown homes, but cannot find a helpmeet | that would make a good, domestivated, contented, modest, loving wife. Te happiest homes are among the hard a working classes and thelr daughters | instead of punished make the best wives, and also the girls who work in domestic service. H. CHESTERFIELD, ‘That's right! Last fall they « ball player a medal for bases, i ven ling so many Liaise nnn i raat enepebitaniaatntiiet The Every=Day Vacation. UT in San Francisco the business women are doing things. the foremost of these activities is the foymation of a club for the DAILY Among the O vacation. It has proved a boon and is conceded one of the most remark- able business women’s clubs in the world. Other endeavor, at the selected time, ts put aside; and they forget the business of BRAIN for cultivating that’ of BRAWN. ‘Therein les the great fortune of the American working woman—the development of MUSCLE as well as These girls began in a@ very modest way. work from 9 until 5 and 5.30 o'clock, After work they meet and enjoy a few brisk walks and runs through the unfre- quented paths of the park. Each PLEDGED herself from he start to do this regularly, rain or shine. Three EVENINGS of the week after dinner they engage in two hours’ recreation with Indian clubs or basket ball. On Sunday and holidays they take a “hike” of ten or TWENTY miles and congregate In thelr clubhouse, which is composed of two disused OLD STREET CARS (which does away with expense of the splendid diversion but make USE of them.) As a result of alt this, the young women are veritable Amazons in strength No wonder they are “on the job" in the morning as “fit ay flddle,? with th “smile that won't come off.” They do not know the meaning of “that. tl feeling” and they need no medicines, They ate exempt from any pains or a These girls view their work as a pleasure; not as a PHYSICAL PRICK which Tam sorry to say is NOT true of all of us, eer 3 When Work May Be Play. 3 eens fhe average working woman hag regarded the workaday period as a bodily STRAIN, If she must needs walk a half mile to and from her work she com- plains of being TIRED, On Sundays she uses neither brain nor brawn, but anges around,” And Monday morning does not find her with the buoyant FRESH spirit that fs N ARY to carry her through the day and week, She is continually LOOKING FORWARD to the ten days or two weeks vacation In the yedr, It COMES and GOKS with the snows of yesterday and its benefits are forgotten as QUICKLY, ’ What you and [ and all of us need ts the DAILY joy—the daily VACATION, All work and no EXERCISE makes Jill very irritable and brings untind wrinkles .on her should-be-PLE ¥ countenance, The easy for THEMSELVES but for those with whom they have CO: business. Also, they are doing something for their country as the (perc! Ning mothers of the future citizens who } VOUS time: Of cow (But WE have indoor swimming pools if we would of the happy business woman is the road paved with CORPOR as THINKING apparatus, It is the best cure known for that “gmouchy" feeling, LIVE, LAUGH AND EXERCISE; for TO-MORROW YOU ‘The cry of the happy business woman ia: "GIVE US OUR DAILY RECREATION!" WORK, MIND. | Most of them | Of course, they have the beach; and swimming ts one | risco sisters have the RIGHT system, They are not only making things | TINUOUS | ©) | to be strong in these STREN- Wwe may not yet have business women's clubs such as those of the L health as well away one of his small pairs in order to draw three cards that we don’t think of a fellow who tosses a pretty {fair job before he's snagged another ons Our idea of Ol on Troubled Waters fs that plan of remaining perfectly quiet and meditatively winding the clock whilst she's asking us how dared we stay out so late! Live and Learn is a pretty good | Dish—but don't forget the Laughter | Sauce? | ° The Day's Good Stories Cabby and Chauffeur. T HE broken down cabby regarded with « gleam of delight the taxi which had broken dot But he spoke no word. ‘The chauffeur began operating on bis He turned it and twisted it and banged crowed it, but to mo a And spoke not auffeur banged again, did things to sparks that wouldn't ignite and cranks used to be anything but cranky. And still the cabby, sour of visage, lay low and said nuffin’ hen the chauffeur wiped his beady brow and the cabby, still with the gleam in his eye, Bs claimed, grimly, holding out h * "eve y'are, mister! 'It''m with this!!— I One: Chance. of the profemors in the Law School of deavoring to show promise made by eth liad. considerable the way, ? rouble with one a football ent! employed an example favorite game he might ing clearer, the profesor aske ypose that 1 contract with eeriain perwons 4 toushdown against Harvard, Can toey hold met" “Weil, sir,’ answered the student, ‘‘not ac- coast; but RACH must awaken to the FUNDAMENTAL fact that we | coming to the miles. But," he added’ after some have the recreation of EVERY DAY, We can't keep the FIRE ALIVE | hesitation, “the umpire might not be looking with lick of fighting fuel ’ p sete ° He your own club woman and have a vacation SOME time during the daly 5 ltwonty-four hours. “Where there ts a WILL. there is a WAY." Ana the war | Wistble Means of Support. 1 6G Tp SONER. demanded a macistrat @ man ‘charged with beaging, |" you any sisible means “Yes, Your Honor," replied prisoner, and then’ turning to bis wife, Jaundress, who was im the court, said: iridget, stam up, 60 that the Court can see —Auswece, ot rt the . | that you can't spend one even! his shirt bosom. changed for the time} being its graceful bulging effect for the | straight Ine or torpedo body model so popular this season in automobile bodies and in all sedsons in dress shirts. Ie made no reply. He was @ prey to the bitter reflection that he was hooked up| for a gay evening—not. ‘“~here's a woman who wouldn't do a favor for you if you were dying,” Mrs. Jarr went on, (Mr, Jarr might have thought she was speaking of Mrs, Stryver, but she was epeaking of Mrs. Hickett.) “The Idea of asking me to stop off for her! That means two or more car fares for us and one for her; and, these days, every nickel counts, and that's why she asked for us to call for her!” “Maybe {t's four beers—nickels, 1 mean," ventured Mr, Jarr. ‘Won't that gushamush daughter of hers be along?" “Cora Hickett, you mean?” asked Mrs Jarr, ‘No, we're spared that affliction, Cora went out to play bridge this after- noon and takes dinner with friends and goes to the theatre with them—all the Hicketts are sponges—and that's why I had to promise Mrs, Hickett we'd stop in for her, She didn't want to go to Mrs, Stryver's alone.” “Why couldn't she You ed Mr, Jarr, be" — | He was going to say that then, maybe, he need not have been dragged along, but he stopped in time. “Oh, you needn't mind ME said Mrs, Jarr, who sensed the unspoken fin- ish of the senténce. “You can get right off this car now’and go back to your \ecronies and their haunts, It is too bad & among have called for “Then, may- refining influence: Mr, Jarr was going to ask if a cut-/ glass bowl filled with vinegarish claret| punch, dry Ittle sandwiches pasted over | with strange compounds, and the pounding of a plano and the screeching of songs in French, Italian and German everything tut Englich—were refining | influences. But, on second thought, he resolved they must be because they bored him 80, Hence sie pulled down lils shirt front! again and sighed and said nothing. By this time the street car reached the point where the Jarrs were to alight for the Dowager Hickett, ‘Mrs, Hickett waa “in.” She had rooms in @ very genteel boarding- house, Mr. Jarr waited in the genteel “Perhaps she didn't think, soothingly dh, she th nt!" snapped the old lady, turning from sorrow to anger with so much emphasis that Mr. " Godged back, “But I'll never for- t The wretch! The said Mrs, Never! Jarr ministered comfort and smelling salts once more, and then Mrs, Hickett relapsed from ager into moan- ing grief again “But you go, my dear! Don't let me detain you. I'l take some sulphonal and read an Elinor Glyn book. I took it from Cora because I don't think it's respectable. Don't delay on my ac- count, and thank yéu." ‘The Jarrs finally did get away sumed their journe nd re- to Society's por What's the matter?’ asked Mr. Jair, when they got outsidy, “Ha: Cora Hickett eloped with a plano player, or did she rob the olf lady, or hit her in the eye? She always seemed peaceable, What did she do?" “She put on all her mother's curts without telling her mot when she went out this afternoon, and now her mother can’t go to'Mrs, Stryver's affair because she can't wear any of her hat Ah, children don't care how they break a mother's heart pe SENTENCE SERMONS. Modern life pushes a man into the mud and then chides him for materialism, Some turn thelr backs on ordinary principles to gaze at heavenly prospects, With all our doing things for people they need most of all our being men to them, Magnify your personal rights and you are sure to create some social wrongs, A man may go up when you kick him, but you cannot claim eredit for kind- ness. Roasting of saying what you think Is often an excuse for not thinking what you say, Progress in the human ri less along. ce depends a getting ahead than on helping ‘True charity will seek to purify the well and not rest content with painting the pump.—Chicago Tribune,