The evening world. Newspaper, December 6, 1910, Page 18

Oe AR Se a SRR : The Evening World Daily Magazine, Tuesday, December 6, 1910: While They Talk. Che GEE wiorld, Pabiiched Dany Except Sundey, by the Press Publishing Company, Ni 3. ANGUS, SITAW, Pres. and Treats’ JOSEPH PULITZER, Juntor, Sec" oS Park’ How. " ai 03 Park How. Entered at the Post-Office at New York av Se Gubecrtpeian, Rates to The Evening | For England for the pf States All Cor 4, and Canada. Bee Fish: $3.50] One Yen . 80 (One Mouti:! Matter. Continent and International . $9.75 1 Be and th tes In thi Postal Union. eevee NO. 18,004, | UNDER THE SUBWAY. ITHIN the secret recesses of the history of the sub- way in this city there are things as well worth bringing into the light of publicity as any that are hidden in eubterranean caves or the abysses of the sea. There are marvels and mysteries and monstrosi- ties. There are ingenious involutions and convolutions of intrigue; there are combinations and conglomerations of discordant elements as strangely united as the tail of a fish to the body of a woman; there are organisms as ugly as that of the octopus and as capable of concealing themselves in the blackness of their own effluvia. The people of New York are continually preyed upon by all these creatares of the subway. They pay for the intrigues, support the com- binations and yield themselves up to the greed of the octopus. They do this self-sacrifice through sheer feebleness of will. If they are resolute at this juncture they can check it speedily and prepare a way for ending it altogether. ‘The task fe difficult, but the people can do it. ; perceives ee | BY WHAT COMPULSION ? IS EXCELLENCY ERNST VON REICHMAN, a} al retired general of the Prussian army, now visiting | @ this country, will doubtless be banqueted by the jin- Oe goes. He deserves it. He is not only an advocate of | \O war himself, but insists that other foiks shall ad- | vocate it as well. It is but right, therefore, that | our warlike fellow citizens should hire him a hall, spread him a feast and give him a chance to do a war dance. | The General says that war is a necessity. He declares: “Great Britain must come to univereal conscription and America must follow.” | ‘The phrase is a fine one, but “must” is too strong a word. The sane | American will ask with Shylock: “By what compulsion must I? It is not in the bond.” Before America reaches the point where universal conscription will be necessary the heavily armed nations of Europe will have gone | into bankruptcy. The one is already a menace; the other isn’t even in sight. $e -—_—____ COMPROMISE OR REFERENDUM. A CCORDING to present prospects the general elec- tion in Great Britain will prove futile. The gain either way.will be too slight to be decisive on any issue, Thus « contest which has disturbed busi- ness, and which has entailed a heavy cost, will have no value. It is even probable there will be another general election within a year. The cause of the futility is plein. All efforts to confine the con- test to the single issue between the Commons and the Lords have been unavailing. The Irish question, the labor question, the tariff question and the army question, as well as strictly local questions, i affect the minds of many voters more potently than that of mending or ending the House of Lords. » I¢ ecems evident that if a solution of the question cannot be speedily found by compromise among the leaders of the rival parties there will have to be a special referendum to the people on that issue alone—e thing unknown to British politics. It is a decidedly inter- esting situation, for the adoption of the referendum system would weaken the Commons as well as the Lords : a A DEAF BOSS CAN HEAR. AYS Gov. Marshall of Indiana: “If the people as a e whole should manifest a determination to be rid of the fraud and the robbery of high protection, then it is Hkely the stand-patters will see » great light and reform will be brought about.” 8 The saying is strictly true. Despite all the mis movernment and the bad government in cities and in States and in the “nation, this is a government of the people, by the people, for the people. What the people are willing to vote for and demand they ii | * By Maurice Ketten. . | | Mr. Covel LENS: Noe Yor Word) at By Roy L. McCardell. ACK from Blarney Castle, the Blar- B ney Stone, the Groves of Blarnoy, but still within the radius uf the Dlarney of Mr, John Haley, driver of the jaunting car from Cork, rode the Jarre and their friends, Mr. and Mra White of New York As Mr. White's name in full was George W White, he, too, at times ‘was sceptical as to the veracity of the Whole race of Irish jounting car drivers, “And yet,” said Mra White, suc- cinetly, “how mad you'd be if we got ‘hold of @ driver who didn’t know the fairy etories and legends of the coun- try or, if he did, wouldn't tell them.” “You don't mean to say you believe in fairies?’ interposed Mr. Jarr. yean have. ; Every politician has his ear to the ground all the time. ‘Aldrich ‘and Cannon are just as attentive to the ground tones in their districts as any new member from a fickle constituency. Public evils follow ‘only when there is popular negligence. We will havo tariff reform ‘and @ parcels post just as soon as the demand is made insisterft. Even +a deaf boss can hear the surge of a ground ewell. f course we do!” chimed the |lady Peter Pans, and Mrs. Jarr added | that her fatth in them clung strongly, although that in men had long de- ed, “Were any fairies ever seen her |Abouts? Seen by creditable witnesses | asked Mr. Jarr of the driver, “Millions of them was @een right on this spot, sir,” replied Haley, and he waved his whip over the beautiful val- and Mrs. They Learn a Batch of Amazing Facts About “The Good People’ Jarr know, of cou where they came from, the fairies?” he added. Seeing they were listening, the driver went on: “Well, thp fairies came from heaven, When the War was over in heaven and Dumbwaiter Dialogues By Alma Woodward Copyright, 1910, by The Press Publishing Co, (The New York World), An Epidemic in Bankruptcy The iarectare! Sirs Best, Kira 'Norton, Mra, Raines and Mra, Whitney. RS. B. (in subdued accents)—Marion, come here a minute, will you? M Mrs, N. (after @ few seconds)—Did any one call me? Mre. B. (still suddued)—Yes, I did, I want to ask you to do me a favor, When the grocer comes for your order, will you order something for me? ‘Mrs, N,From my grocer? Mra, B.—Yes, I'm really ashamed to tell {t, but I owe my grocer such @ big bill that I haven't the nerve to get anything more there tilt I pay something on N. (reprovingly)—-Well, you're awfully extravagant, Josie, B. (resigned)—I know !t. I was born to be @ millionatre's wife, I guess, order the things for me, Marion? Why, certataly, What do you want? B.—A dozen eggs, a pound of butter, a half pound of tea, a— R, (suddenly)—Grocer, 1s that you? . (aughing)—No, it's only Joste giving me an ordey. Abroad Michael, the Archangel, had defeated | Lucifer and all his hosts and thrown him out, there were angels who had taken no part one way or the other—like the bloodless people in Land League days, who were netther friend nor foe, ‘but was waiting to see which side would win, Well, they was trun out too!” “Who?” one of the party asked. “The angels who didn't take sides, of course,” said the driver. “As they had done neither harm nor good, they was banished and came to earth as fairies. They can't get back to heaven and they live forever; they have no souls That makes them melancholy and the land they are in as well. “Now, I am coming to where they were all ALL of them! There | more tion by which the | Baron has made known This wishes: “Wanted, a Great Men I Have Been Written ) xclusively jor The Evening Wcrid By Sarah Bernhardt Translated by Nixola Greeley-Smith Copyright, viv, oy The irese Uuviiemng Co. (The Mew Lore World, ‘ Jacasse—Brains Versus Beauty 5 was in 1907 that I undertook m t great comic role—that of Ja: in “Les Bouffons,” of Miguel Zamacots, The theme, though carried to the extreme of fantastic comedy, i unlike that of the better known Cyrano de Berge For the ence and beauty for a woman’ not pla ns on a contest between intellig love. But in “Les Bouffons” intelligence wins, and Jeacasi has the pleasure of realizing that even with the humped- back, which he has simulated to prove his point, the beau- tiful Solange chooses him, the man of intelligence and force, for her husband, rather than the graceful and elegant Narcisse. . Solange's cholce is really a much more popular one thast that of Roxane, who preferred the handsome Christian to Cyrano, the man of tragedy with the comedy nose. For the practical nature of the most sentimental -_, woman inclines her to choose, perhaps unconscious- NIXOLA ly, the ‘man who can fight the best battle with life GREER’ SMITH = yor her and for himself. j In the cays of primitive man the victory was seldom to the hand somer. For the fighting qualities—pugnacity, endurance, ruthlessness do not tend to the development of smoothness or beauty. Adam was a very handsome man, if we are to believe your Eng- lish Milton, But our Mother Eve, the only woman who never had to make a cholce be- tween intelligence and beauty, supplied the brains of the family Do after the Fall, Adam developed useful qualities, But I have no doubt our first mother brought up her daughters to de- clare, as does’ her de- scendant Solange, in fa- Vor of masculine brains, ‘Pwo young men, Rene Robert, make a wager, Rene maintain- ing that a woman's soul is influenced less by goed works than by Ir telligence. ‘To decide the bet they disguise themselves as buftoong and offer thelr services <o the Baron de Maupre, who has advertised for clowns to rouse his daughter Solange from @ settled melancholy. ‘Thus 4s the proclama- buffoon; a buffoon for @ young girl—a family buffoon; one that 1s sympathetic and at the same time quite respect- able, can furnish a sat- Isfactory reference and | will not object to @ month's trial.” Rene and Robert respond to the proclamation; Rene disguised as Jacasse, Robert as Narcisse. ‘The next two acts are occupted with trials of wit between all the buffoons | who have answered the proclamation. Solange falls in love with Jacasse, despite the hump he has assumed, And inthe end he throws aside the deformity and wins both the wager and the girl. Solange's choice is as true to life as the Instinct of self-preservation, have sald, nearly every woman 1s likely to encounter the same problem, Once in a while, perhaps, we find beauty and brains united in the same per son, but more frequently in woman than in man, CJACASSE” ast “Cheer Up, Cuthbert!” What's the Use of Being Blue? There Is a Lot of Luck Left. By Clarence I. Cullen Copyright, 1910, by The Press Publishing Ca (The New Xerk World), food =priest of Cork in my grandfather's time, and he was called at midnight to @ farm house in that Uttle village we've passed, to speed a in the moonlight tn iis gig, his head was on hts breast and he was thinking of a prayer when his horse stopped and he looked up and there the road was clogged with the Good People, millions and millions of them! They clung to him and pressed from all sides, and the place was filled with them and the flelds and hills be- | yant, yet such was their magte that |. R. (puzaled)—What's the answer? B.—It jan't any secret, I just want to get sometiiing at Marion's grocer's I owe such a big bill at the other place I'm ashamed. | Mrs, R. (consolingly)—Say, you're not the only one: I've got a bill at the butcher's that'd make your hatr stand on end and lots of small ones dotted all over the neighborhood. 1 don't know where the money goes to. the fartherest could be seen as plain jas the closest. And they were weep- ling, every one of them, and saying, \'Tell us, good and holy man, how | may we be saved?” | “And the priest thought a while and | | O use trying to softsoap Santa Claus! He know | Your “percentage” in a “brac: me is in not trying to buck it! There are just exactly 1,440 ‘Psychological Moments’* every day! ‘The Bogle Man 1s the orlginal Bunco Artist! The Lady Fortune is a sad coquette, but she has a shrewd eye for Live Ones! It's right to consult you want is orders! the customer's whims—but what ‘The Boss has another kink, He advises us not to read the Presivent’s Message through until after office hours! If your bridges are burnt behind you you can always build pontoons! \ \then sald: ‘Le there 1s one among you | The pursuit of happiness was never meant to be a breakneck race? ly) -No—what! that has shed @ drop of blood for any | - For us all to go through bankruptcy, ‘That makes all bills against | creature then you may all be say It takes a man who's been “over the jun you null and vold, |Then the good priest heard a great cry, | — R.—What a cinch! ‘and they had all vanished, and the To stave off punishment when Destiny’ N. horse went on | _ ley before them through which runs t short road to Cork, Who by?" asked Mr. Jarr. “It's a long story,” said the driver, “and that reminds me to say to you that I've heant you say there ts a ‘8, N. (suddenly)—Say, do you know what would be # good !dea? ps" to know how fine the “straight” ist Le tters From the People Are you sure about that? drubbing you, don't forget to clinch! (ndignantly)—Of course, I'm sure. cance | melancholy alr over all the scenes in B. (enthustastically)—Let’s do {t! “That ip the sadness of fairies—they| rook how white the snow {s that fails from the blackest sky! \ “Phe Man in the Irom Mask.” | ‘nstruotion in English, which 1s, to| !eland, beautiful as they be." | Mrs. R. (anxious for information)—What do you have to do first, Marion? have no souls in thetr bodies nor blood i Te the Eéitor of The Evening World: many of them, @ foreign tongu it And so there ta," said Mr, Jarr. Mrs. N. (airily)-Oh, you Just make up your mind; then you go to @ lawyer! tn thelr veins.” | Banish those Daylight Rarebit Dreams! Who was the tron masked man that a| 1s simply absurd to waste the time or|_" "TI because of the fairies, the Good | and tell him you want to be a bankrupt and he makes out some papers and you| “Dear me!" said Mrs, Jarr plaintively. oes ypertain king imprisoned for life tong| forty children on a necessarily inade. | Pepe.” sald Haley, the driver. | gtve him ebout twenty-five dollars, I guess. Maybe he'd do tt cheaper if we got | “Ask him If he knows something funny | ‘The man who has cirrhosis of the liver generally | ow he got ogo? ©. H.W. | quate study of @ modern language. | “They're lost souls, ‘The disbellat of | a whole bunch to go through together. That's all there 1 to it. Isn't tt easy? — | about the fairten?” panei v'Dhe identity of “The Man tn the Iron JANE B. RoputNa, | th people, the steam engines, the ‘lec-| Mra, R.—We'll do tt to-morrow. ‘Then instead of using the house noney next) Hut over them all brooded the mele) — gyere are nu Stationary Clouds! + Mask’ Umprivoned by King Louts XIV. | Fxeoutive Secretary Public Education tielty and the wickedness of modorn week I'll get that willow plume I've been ds or! lancholy of the beautiful land from cies Sot France) i# still a mystery, ‘The Assoctation, times has drove the fairies from all| Mra, W, (opening her door)—Janitor! Oh, janitor! | which its Youth had departed, is wail galinda Oona SULA Palin CIDE Li LIM ROUEN jiave been many plausible theories about meciita guavas: countries except Ireland, R. (sweetly)—Mrs, Whitney! porseash re se a iim, tut none of them hay proven matis- {9 ie raltor of The Br . | ‘Phey can't die and they have no| Mrs. W. (looking up)—Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Raines? Pru leant Kid tin aenr im ballet de id Liog Ganka ho guint actor. lary eee! hs toule Rey want aympathy from bus] Mrs R-Ofrs, Whitney, you ought to kuow something about law. Your hus- The Pessimist. ne Aig ta Bes) gumdrop part of his Medern Languages im Schools, |@™Mpie” I found it was % per cent. ’ ; ; awyer, lan't ne? who are always —_ "ro the aie of Toe Brecing Wort; which was gained, We a: lath up | ane gt hel sate why they are) Are W. (pleasantly) ¢ te, 1 do know something stout law. | HDT er tot troubles’ If it rains they a) ‘Phe trouble about posing as a Pessimist Is that you're wearing @ ©'-Imposedd Be ML” | sccantege tb eamech tie wer oe ele ¢ Good People” But what! Mrs, B.—Well, do you know anything about bankruptcy? | Sane these Wa we drowed oot tetawt | 1. Sinen fou ceniiy went to sin « May I say o: Anatruction in modern languages in the elementary schools from the point of | wiew of the pupils? The subject under |help can they give? If they shower fairy gold on mortals it only works) harm. ‘They fll the land with beauty | 4 )and melancholy, and ‘tis that what ft stops, and if it is dry, they are sure that ‘everything will be bumed up before it rains, ‘Their | @lacouraging outlook {s like that of an ald lady who watched the first trial of a new trolley line Mrs, W.—Yes, I happen to know about that, because Mr. Whitney has just | had a very interesting bankruptey case, Mrs, B.—What do you have to do to go through bankruptcy? Mrs, W. (slowly)—Well, first of all you have to forfeit all the personal props! those examples is to take the gain or lows on the cost. Fifty cents on two hundred cents equals one-fourth, whic Laughter !s contagious, and all hands like the spreader! idiscussion 1» not the value of tho| euvals 2 per cent, M. M,C to ben town | It doesn’t cost a sou-marquee to buy an Optimistic Option! drives the youn, ople from Ireland, | y 38 and— A crowd hed gathered to see the first car make bd French and German langua; but the The Difference, They can't ant A 7 pa : ba obi tp tee ite initial telp, A great deal of preparatory work — They go to Amer- ‘Te the Editor of The Evening World: lea. There ts work and good times in Who can tell ine exactly what 1s the | Ireland now. Yes, and good pay, But) difference between quail, partridges | the young men and women are driven and pheasants? What we call a part-|away by the melancholy, Oh, yes, they ridge in New York ts a pheasant in the | lav ‘Trio (shrilly)—-What! What do you meant Mrs. W. (patiently)—Well, for instance, 1f you were to go through bankruptey, Best, you'd have to give up your diamond rings and that diamond and pearl lavatiiere-— ‘mproving of the curriculum in these schools, At present modern languages jAre taught in @ome of them to boys and girls thirteen years of age for 100 minutes a week, In a school class, seemed to be required by the motgnnan and, as | the people stood and watched every movement, | thie old ledy, to whom the idea of « car boing able to move without any visible propeljing power Was incomprehensible, kept remarking, ‘'1t'll never 0, 1t'l never go." Women may be growing like men, but they're going enough while we're here! to remain womeny Mr, Good Resolutions isn't rated In Bradstreet’s! 2VERYDHING I possess? h, but there's @ tear behind It," es, everything, of course, Pinally ‘thing was edjusted to the motor ve even in #. German neighborhood, there! south, where “partridge” designates| “But you were going to say that a . (unbelleving)—Does every one have to do that? man's satietection, He tumed the switch and the “pwinkle, twinkle, little star'—-but, whee! we like THIS planet! ure slso Itallan and Russian ciuldren,| “quail.” ‘Thus the name 4s confused | million fairies were seen right her Why, certainl: MOLLE FL ee is! aye saliaed ee ‘For most of these children this ts their Nast year of school, and they need) knows Just what some one else ts talk-| ‘Yes, sir; militons of them, right here,” ‘physteal training and tadustrial train-| jog about until be finds outejust which | said the Jarvey solemnly. “A holy man to a them for practice) life, and bird he means, B =| eaw them ip ay grandtather’s time You within short distances, and n TF |interrupted Mr, Jerr, Mrs, B, (coldly to Mrs. N.)—Say, next time you suggest someching let It be sane, will you? Mrs. R. (warmly)-Yes, you're a pegch suggester, you are! Are, B.~diuhi I guess it's cheaper to pay the bpillel Some day they'll make a Pepsin for Dyspepsta of the Dome! the car for a moment, and then, with amaroment still written upon her'features, bat with firm cou- tion in her volce, she turmed once motp to the Seadeated, ealds AN mover slop! Kouth's — ‘odo, the Hermit €rab, whe full, noeaad Our idea of Somebody Who Has Hit the T “gow's Deliave tn oll @° shia foo! Banta Clave