The evening world. Newspaper, March 20, 1909, Page 8

The Evening World Daily Magazine, Saturday, March 20, pee oF TE I Ss catoxt0, a - 500 Buttons By Maurice Ketten. Published Daily E pt Sunday by the Press Publishing Company Pa Row, New Yor! | a. ANGUS SHAW, Pres, and Treas, Je P AR. Juntor, Sec"y, I OS Park Row, Row, Entered at the Po: -Office y York a 1 Matter, Bubseription Rates to The Evening | For mntine World for the United States AD ( t j i pi Snap nas an Building One Year...» xe $950 [One Year {a9 Soon A® ELEVEN ONE One Month 130 | One Month. $50,000,000 Subways, ould 1 THROUGH VOLUME OTe Ren rn SHAVING == -| | \§Ll BuTTon | YouR Gown, \ Dearie TWELVE THIRTEEN HUNDRED AND FIVE ' N the mouth of the rural press ave | “hen found words of great wis- dom, The Clinton Courier, pub- fous to bulld a subw marked the laundry man. “BE VERYBODY seems to be anx- Battery to Har- lem, the same to be equipped with sey- eral tracks running both ways, open ‘plumbing, electric light, elevat hall service, hot and cold alr and other {were that the barn windows were not regularly washed, that the inte- ‘rior of the stable was not whitewashed, that horses were kept in the game barn with cows, that the cows had not been clipped and that their, udders were not regularly washed with warm water before milking. | Considering that this farmer was getting less than three cents a guart for his milk, out of which he had to pay a high feed bill, wages and taxes, besides providing a farm and cows and getting up before | daylight every morning to do the milking, he felt that he was entitled | You NEED to retort. | ANOTHER SHAVE, [come the popular pastime, All have to do fs sit down and you D. “Looking at {t from a practical stand- Point there couldn't be a softer snap than building a subway—always p | viding that the c be made fall guy, $0 to group of capita offer to bore a} of Manhattan and equip gatd hole wit cars and things requisite for the tran portation of passengers, to be, aay, $50,000,0%, All they want for the job is 15 per cent. of the actual payable as soon as the work ts d. If the cost Is 000,000 the city pays the capitalists ¢ off the reel. This does not, however, apply on the purchase price, but !s to go to the contractors as profit. igh the bowel HUNDRED ANd SEVENTY FIVE Four HUNORED : | AND NINETY NING Fa ED q A Good Start, ; ‘a es ne elty Is to pay 5 per cent, m on the !nvestment of the alists, This would unt to $2, ar, ‘The total amount, Pat capit 600,000 the firs WAY AlNT You WAATI ON op ALBANY 1 NE “3 SUNoAY ase At it PZ Ber SNe which the contractors and 1 1 draw down from the treasury in what would co: it ment would be $10, h of the total Following the letter head of the New York Department of Health, he addressed to it this communication: The Department of Common Sense, Office of J. P. Brown, Borough of Old Chenango. Sir—I desire to call your attention to the fact that inspectors from this department having investigated the condition of your city find certain un | therefore, unitary conditions, and report that on a perfect score |a cost of 3 before a passenger of 100 your city scores 23, ‘ dropped a tic 1 ‘i We have accordingly selected a few recommendations, a commie The Chorus Girl Talks About Newark asa Sh OW Town; Te GD Pin play a ance dk 1 which will raise your standing in the eyes of the civilized GEA OROY Cnn Oh 6 salt world, 1, That you cause to be torn down and cremated your rickety ten-| ement fire traps, where the light of heaven never enters and fresh air | 7 is a stranger. | 2. That you provide decent living quarters for the human beings | of operation would be split two wa 6) per cent. to the corporation as pay- ment by the city for th way and equipment, and 9 per cent. to the operating company as profit. At Dopey McKnight Likes It Because It’s Cheap to Die In |‘. ieee of cigarettes that she took out of his pocket the night she called a cab and the daytime when all respectable folks|after she had been dug up by three should be in bed. And they made him refined medical students, who, through By Roy McCardell. that live im your cellars, T ty reported that our show, KeeP AWake at rehearsal, although he innate delicacy, had conveyed the fair fled into the night from thelr humble ens eae t At GME eon cauce to be ti ‘nly cleansed and disinfected all/¢* | ‘The Gay Life’ ie golne tovopen ca play the plano tn his sleep. And, | young form to the dissecting room furnished room in Thirty-ninth street. | {2° end of twenty-five years it is est ape ; . That you caus horoughly cleansed and disinfected a aeeeals 0, ope" anyway, when he was working {t only properly chaperoned Vane Waninoraet one that haley the capitalists would get n,* declared the head polisher, places where the poor are compelled to labor and cause the same to : : aay meant that a lot of people was brutal| "It never occurred to Dopey to look wrote the undertaker a letter asking ole ty, back with & per cent, ine 1 move that Mary McCann be given be whitewashed. | ‘ is money away by force, on the back of the advertisement, and cigarette coupons in-)\“resis S00Ul | MO profit for opera-| another, medal,” 4. That you cause and provide that the thousands of poor ch Neateaees mnie Ht “ 1} s0 he kept ee a CORT? CI) ChE GE AE tn C1 la Tae dren of your city who go breakfastless to school and supperless to bed says, ‘The better and $0 he wanted to go to New: ‘The undertaker liad burial outfits ar Same items as | y 2 ie ee joes t the the better 2 die, ranged by numbers, thus: No. 1, for acks, with Union| y ba aad ” be provided with an abundance of food, the Wat We didn't know what made Dopey |$s7, with ao many items, including dio ateolal a ind M Y Cc Y Cc L E O F R EA D | N G. 6, That you overhaul and Improve your sewer system, y Me-|fave that way, but we comes to find crape and a simple cortege and {mita- v consider in for | 6, That you thoroughly cleanse and disinfect your Tenderloin heard this Out the Musical Swede was over In New- | tton mahogany casket, to No. 10, at|t of the bereaved | By Count Tolstoy. district : ’ ’ he said: ‘Oh, why ?k playing in a nickelodeon, and he $200, which was the real silver to open at New Haven, | f an , } ces " don't we open in had seen a paper with an article about and tent over the grave thing. Jin spite of what Dopey wants, and he Transiatea by Herman Bernstein hat you provide that all places occupied by human beings in Nie ae Dopey's wife V t ful, hav-|read like combination breakfasts meeerciled: Hie Mind Nowe AIRE OP | (Copyrighted by Herman Bernstein.) Your city be as sanitary, as well lighted and as well ventilated as the raved and c d Dogstory, Phil Min- more you pald the more you got. | mortuary matters, when we told him | ¢————~—~ s average barn in Chenango County. Respectfully, J. P. BROWN, on and s as a press agent, and! 1 all so Interested Dopey that he|we might get him Into the Yale sec R ‘a r cigarettes un d gone Into a trance and been | got so he was simply living to die there | society, * and Bones,’ and Dop eward. Mr P. Brown, of Chenango, would be glad to bathe his cows. | : Mr sr ano, WOUL gla atl and acted go: bur ed alive for a press story to ad- instead of dying to live here. F as|said he'd féel at home there because he | HE accomplished good in the act itself bears qe a I eaaen to ln separate horse stable, to calcimine his barn, just as he would SARbaLL terrtblesy Maid her new act, “The Sleeping 8a-}/he aati, Bis was not only : Oh ca Cy ae fay sculler, ut he dal with it ils own reward. Every reward, aside ‘ + te mind seemed to be Bet On noms. ‘OM lant place to resic put you could | been ‘Bones’ with Dockst CUA NS TI 3) ( > realiz he giad to put hot water heat and electric light in his house, ingindtene ik to’ ope “The papers gave It a page, because |croak so cheaply th |sons ago and doubled In brass in the from the realization of the good performed, “When we turned the ady diminishes the joy of the act of kin over and showed him th Swede had serit it to him, 1 undertaker’s advertisement Harold Dogstory's clever for his wife, Dopey y, he said Newark je | At the ip a shriek “shows has died » yes, and vaude- sian rugs, an automobil when we a baths, a piano, hardwood floors, r of other things. the leading undertaker of Newari split p the publicity with Vashtl, The Musteal Sy just tore the page out t Dopey’s wife and sent it to hin, i when Dopey opened it the first thing s eye fell on was the undertaker's spray annum If somebody would pay him 10 cents a quart for milk instead of ope to play all summer In Ne for the] york in splte of the fact that the the- but for! atre is @ place where people go to be work | pored and are seldom disappointed, And | sald that didn’t} ther another drawback that FE who does good unto another, d FH timsets noe tn the : the act of kinds good performed Is the highest reward £ 2 cents he would be glad to go as far as the money would hold out, didn’t mean the full page advertisement that backed up make any difference, he wanted to go|ma Ours is a moral play Rm ORR a didn’t care on the other side of Harold Doxstory's to rk cat ile and be laid by | Wit CERTAIN dervish prayed thug or unsanitary tenements I v cause it a int of a beautiful actri being the side of his ¥ , because he wanted wicke New York there is no such excuse. but being up An | bur allve and the fact discovered to ask her what a did with the pack wood!""—Sadl. Less than five years’ rents would — es = —-—-—— = ee s peeves : | The Million Dollar Kid a OO make any tenement sanit power of the good that has bei For unwholesome places of In- bor in New York City there i hy left hand kao th no || pt ee nd know what thy excuse, price the m cover clean Ww HUA! JEFFRIES won't \ FIGHT JOHNSON FoR # 50,000 ! tLe GIVE EFF, I'LL GivE You A MILLION IF YOU'LL FIGHT and sunlit w gratitude and profit.—Ruskin, a VERY plea {s acquired Ch breuk- EM A HILLION oe - JOHNSON , fs paid In advauece; for wr plea. ol ar vod | oes 7 df, 18 “When you have plucked the beam froin y the reward of vice is vice. OR TIN OTE, 4 T is joyful to do good. The joy { i. fe B knows about the good you are seine: etters From the People | ae oe ~ eee eel?) ae amen i Hanes : I The Day’s Good. Stories I has I put his t ler co [GIT OUT oF "y) MISTAH MONK EATING. The Boy's Sacrifice. ers ¢ » eyes of the IGYMNASIUM | OFF DE MANTEL- PI \. B. CRANE, of the New 4 Os eT hee ALL bis eecl/ M York Soctety for the Relief of ave flat f Destitute Children, sald of pro- t s. A ca miscuous rity at a recent conven- d tlon: i ato ey 1 "Charity {5 a sctence, and they who! give une re like a boy of On whe Cuter Side. whom I | » othoF day. tor of TI World | “This a doctor's son, had a s roten 8 nild a gen nickel he walked home from * v mn Wa'r “ lachcol | © blazing sun of a June them afterno’ 4 soda fountain caught his WHO | RDB Ze PM fice leye. A rd gyrrounded ft. They I Mareb it, re. jdrank water filed with shaved gpemaive chord kdars the iSiNGPaIEIRN Rveaine Werks Hice, Ho dotletonm! The boy stopped. don't you thine we Jo t was the Windsor iote! fire? “But no wae about deciding to peagect We deserve decause we do act CHARLES F. spend \\0 nickel on a lemon phosphate Maybe We'll Get Sunday Baseball This Year—Nit! "ree “It T had git I'd modern improvements bids fair to be- | o- | Whole sub. | eee , for to the good Thou has becn merciful alred REAT people kindly, calculati in by | not revel Ightest remunerat! treat them ki without any thought of the cost of suffering. "Twas a Case of Give and Take tor “Unole Joe.” tion and a profit of 15 per cent. for bullding the road. ~ “The city can get money at 81-4 per cent. Why should the city pay any ‘ . : put in a bid to| construction company 15 per cent, profit lished in that part of Oneida build a subway /and 6 per cent. Interest on the Invest- County where Senator Flihu Root | Og ZA) myself sald the) ment and split the operating profit for é head polisher, ty-five years when the muntcipal- was born, prints the retort of a) y do {t at that, | ity Chenango farmer to the New York | as I am ofjcontractors’ profit, operate the subway ‘ ; ah the sum that is) itself and apply’ the net earnings City health authorities. | the goal of my | toward liquidating the cost? Echo an- A health inspector had gone to ambition, if Bryan | swers, why?” G. Hughes don't | this farm and prepared a full re- Pea eeaaer aut Penney) port, granting this farm 639 on mete n an| ; Sunday Baseball. } offer to bore a Cee a scale of 100%. The defects subway from the! “Changing the subject,” said the Jaundry man, “maybe we'll get Sunday baseball this year.” \. “I fear nit," replied the head polisher, “The better element is against !t. The | better element is truly represented by an earnest Brooklyn minister, who said ja few days ago to the Legisiature, In ect, ‘I don't care whether the people » to church on Sunday or not; but tn't do anything else.’ And there you are, They don't care if you remain away from chureh—a GIMME ELEVEN DOLLARS WoRrn oe Srove 500,000 right | Practice which !s confined the so-called better elem largely to nt, by the | ¥a but If you do urch in the morning and consider your religious ob- Ngations fulfilled by such attendance, you must let the better element regu- late the rest of the day for They get you coming and going. And when the ay comes jup vou find there to argue f luminating extent, yecause arth aseball can't afford & couple of cost of a trip to to cons jay to lay off from t days and stand the 1 fea we will have Island o from the 2 to La to Coney nd suffer | } Uncle Joe's Kisses, Peete COS "T gee,” Speaker indry man, Mary sald the ta Cannon kissed whe he gave her a mec tor cum disaster.” GIVE HER. RATHER eho eon! dness. does also good unto iences, but by Hization of the ‘oy ma eneca. —eeeeeeeeeeeee Be merelful to the dy by having them © Lord! one da 0 do good and then demand a reward is to destroy the deed and the en done, right hand doeth.—St. Matthew, vi, eee thelr gratitude, and you will v ydur so-called t:indnesss; but gain, and you will have both to gain} eration The price of real pleasure in Poster, re one pays after. OO nrnel RACTISE every virtue and avoid all vice. P after tt; one vice draws other vices. One tivtue draws othere vices. The reward of virtue 1s virtue, nereases when you kxow that nobody #| ta poor little chap in rags asked him ously for alms. A generous thought thrilled our He would practice, true self-denying charity. And refusing: himself the soda water, he gave the’ Httle beggar his ntexel. “Then he walked away, happy in his At the corner he turned and There at the soda foun- great cold his Hpa."— doctor's son. sacrifice looked back. tain stood the beggar, & glass of soda water at Washington Star, | Take No Chances. | Rs, JIMSON—Well, Mre, Taft M fs now the firet lady of the land, Mr, J.—tiush! The cook might hear you.—Cleveland Leader,