The evening world. Newspaper, January 23, 1909, Page 8

‘published Dally Except Sunday by the Press Publishing Company, Nos. 83 to 63 | ! Park Row, New York. | QOSEPH PULITZER, Pres., 68 Park Row, J. ANGUS SHAW, See,-Treas., 6s Park Row, Entered at the Post-Office at New York as Second-Clasa Mall Matter, Bubscription Rates to The Evening | For England and the Continent and World for the United Btates All Countries jn the International | and Canada, Postal Unton One Year.. oe $8.50 49.75 One Month ema £0 { MOLUME 49.000. cevsevees WHAT IS THIS MAN TO DO? T. O'LOUGHLIN, No, 739 Car- roll street, Brooklyn, adver- tises: FOR SALE—A man, forty-three years old, 5 feet 7 inches tall, welght 160 pounds; sound in limb, broke to machinery, easily driven, No rea- sonable offer refused. Mr. O'Loughlin is the Secretary of the Park Slope Board of Trade. He is not advertising for himself but for a competent machinist who has been out of work nine “months, hasn’t a penny and wants some one to give him shelter and Nplothing in return for his services. H This machinist has visited more than 200 shops, every one of (which has a list of men waiting for jobs. He was dispossessed because fhe could not pay his rent. His wife had to go back to her folks, He would rather work for his support than go to the poorhouse \or-commit a crime and be sent to jail. ‘Under the old system of negro slavery, abolished by the civil ; war and constitutional amendment, the slave owner was obligated to | feed, clothe and shelter his slaves at all times, whether in sickness or in health, whether in the vigor of life or in old age and whether »there was work for them or not. *( _ The most ignorant negro kidnapped from Africa, unable to read ‘ or write, without a vote, unintelligent and unable to ptoduce @ quar- ter of the wealth of a competent mechanic, had the right to support ‘end care which no freeborn, intelligent American workingman can nowadays assert and receive, + NO. 17,822, ole Were it not for the mental and social attitude of slavery many people would be better off as slaves than aa they are to-day, The slave owner from his self-interest as well as from the opinion of his fellow slave owners and the force of the slave statutes was impelled not to overwork his slaves, to feed them well, to clothe them com- fortably, to look after them when they were sick and to support them when there was no work for them to do, Of the men out of work to-day, how many have a legal claim mpon anybody for food, shelter, clothing and medical attendance? Who feeds them when they are out of work? Who provides them with clothes? Who looks after their families? ‘ A slave was rent free, He paid no taxes, either direct or in- Girect. By custom he was allowed to do outside work when he could get it and keep the proceeds for ‘himself, Economie slavery is more in- xorable than negro slavery. A negro slave might escape. Phil- anthropic people arranged the un- derground railroad by which thou- sands of slaves were taken from slavery, cared for and made self- supporting. From economic slay- ery there is no escape. No man can escape hunger or cold or sick- ness or the clamor of unfed children or the silent countenance of his wife. What is suck a man to do? Letters From the People Subway Etiquette, cause he put !n the first “and.” Ac- To the Piltor of The Evening World: cording to his teacher the foregoing A correspondent writes of « man on a| should read, Sixty-four million, sixty- subway car platform who raised a laugh | four thousand, six hundred and forty by biting at the plumes in a lady's hat, | and sixty-four thousandths, Will read- The woman who wore the hat should|ers inform me if the word "and" ts not have stood on the platform of a| superfluous in the original reading of subway train where a lot of men were. | the exercise and why? 3.8. M. If the woman could not get Inside of Fred A. Bnene, the car she should have sought to Dre-/ To the mittor of The Evening World: Vent jabbing her hat plumes into the| What js the name of the Mayor of man’s face. I had an experience like| Chicago? RR | this one myself once, and I was polite| enough to warn the lady to be careful about her hat lest she damage it. Whereupon the lady thanked me and I was freed from further annoyance. A Problem tn Ver: To the Eilitor of The Evening World: | The following problem will probably interest readers. Who can solve it? H. J. K, |I have a garden as square as can be. | Away from the centre 1 planted a tree; ms | From there to each of three corners I ditor eB ng World: found Does @ pei have to take out &)o1¢ distance when measured upon level tiairiage license to get married In the around State of Connecticut? HARRY 8. | To be: Two rods, and three rods, and five rods, for sure. Not an inch under, and not an inch more, |How large do you figure this garden to be? | Give length of the sides. The treat Is on me, JOHN W. LIND. Yes. To the Editor of The Evening World: A “Number” Query, To the Editor of The Evening World: My boy, ten years old, attends a pub- Me school end a few da. 0 was given an arithmetic exercise as follows: “Read the following number, 04,04,- 40.0064." I suggested to him that the proper way to read it would be: Sixty- four millions, sixty-four thousands and six hundred and forty and sixty-four] Could I Join the U. 8. Army or Navy ‘thomsandths; but he tells me that his/i¢ 1 had been born in Burope? o: ® ‘ ‘w" ain't advertised by our loving friends, kid; everybody's got to plug thelr him a “point” be! an The New York Girl—No. 15. By Maurice Ketten. The Chorus Girl Reads a New Song by Dopey And Chirps Some About the “Unwritten Law.” own game,” sald the Chorus Girl. “If you !s too proud to do it, or.has been too proud to do it, you has got to come down off the Cupola of Con- | descension—nix on the Queen of Spain thing. | “Look at Dopey McKnight. Not that Dopey ts proud. | Dopey 1s just obsessed by the Demon Lassitude, as Old Man Moneyton saye—which !s Boston talk that he uses when he don't want Mamma De Branscombe to understand w | saying, for you know it ain't polite to talk in French or) German when you are out with people that don’t understand it, and, anyway, it would be foolish, because they wouldn't know what you was talking about, “Well, what I was saying Js that {f you wants to be Praised you got to utter the boost words yourself, Here's | Dopey has written some of the swellest ballads that ever| was, and nobody knows it but his own particular friends, ‘Them songs would make @ lot of money if they was pub-| Mshed—that 1s, the songs would, but Dopry wouldn't, Did ‘mw Aor a you ever hear his song, ‘Lured by Gold, She Left . .e- Happy Home’? lt's as good as ‘Them Cruel Words I Can't Fori But .-vpey won't even bother to take It down to Tin Pan Alley. “The words 1s grand, and It goes like this: ea eepsie, when the setting sun was lo CD Cuts oe Tareaiel wa8 sighing “Home, Sweet Home," From the nearby pickle factory came sweet Isabel; Toward her own dear cottage she did roam, This maiden was an orphan, and she had no parents, too; She had to do a man's work on the fal A villain sald “Beware!” while the silv'ry stars did shine, But her innocence {t kept her from all harm, CHORUS. But lured by gold she left her happy home; She beat {t for a distant land to roam, And when she went away, she to herself did say “Lured by gold I've left my happy home, Forgot the vows that I in spring did make Lured by gold I've left my happy home!” iHe Learns a New Word -# # By George Hopf ~~ IGEE,DAT wus A FIERCE FIGHT GRACIOUS)! WHAT A STRANGE ., LANGUAGE! ONE CAN NEVER. LEARN TOO MUCHS ( HOPE THEIR DEF- INITION Witt BE THOROUGHLY Lucio! ® had been In the city about a month or two; She had to go to work at scrubbing floors; take them home with her, as many people do, er it was chilly out of doors, ing actor at Delmonico’s, m next day, the people say, onaire heard her sing "The Malden'’s Prayer old she left her happy home, CHORUS. Lured by gold, whe left her happy home &c, dim ‘And lured b: “There's more verses showing how the husband committed the unwritte:, law, and when they ast him why he had killed the millionaire, when he had no Neense to carry a revolver, he got up In the court and sang the chorus to the judge and jury, “The jury burst into tears and the judge apologized for detaining him, and he and his wife was reconciled and he said to her, ‘Let us never epeak of It again— ‘When lured by gold you left your happy home and you beat it for a distant land to roam,’ and so on, “It’s a knockout, being a companion song to ‘Are You Sincere,’ “Now that these themes 1s put Into plays we sometimes cautiously discuss them in the flat, although Mamma De Branscombe says young girls like my and Amy shouldn't talk about such things and what more has we heard, “Mamma De Branscombe says, and Dopey agrees with her, that if party's wite 1s stole from him he shouldn't throw the shoots into the home-wrecker, because that’s his only chanst to get rid of his wife without going to great expense, because divorces !s getting dearer every day, but when they steals your gir! from you, that’s no fair, because they isn’t any penalty for that except the unwritten law. “Dopey says why ain't they some unwritten law that will do away with the new garni act? Why, he says, half the people he knows {s afrald to go to work because they knows their salaries will be attached, and he believes that this 1s the real reason that the financial depressions {s still a dent and hasn't become a bump, in spite of what the Prosperity Leagues and Billy Billiken Robingon says. “Let's go shoot somebody and get our name In the papers, No harm shall befall us, Jack, and mother will be so proud!” AH, KIND FRIENDS, WILL YOU KINOLY ENLIGHTEN ME ON THE MEANING | TELL YER DAT BAT NELSING,|IS RIGHT DERE WID DE WALLOP— WALLOP!" STRANGE IT TO BE IN HERE WHAT CAN IT WEEKS WA English Views /|\ i “iy | of Our Ameri- "77 Sa : We “Butt In? ,, ean Women. the Stock Exchange, Too Much—w BY MARTIN That's What! GREEN pers about the Investigation of | to a large extent In the United States, the Stock Exchange by the com: Woe bring our boys and girls up along mittee appointed | those lines and even ff some of them by Gov, Hughes,” | run out at the first turn when they get complained the to be men and women, the principle Ls = laundry man, claim mation o nvest fon of! Lal gambling in Wall) | Que? street? You are| (—e¥e——So> only one of the! “When the American wife of a fore BLUR STEEDS ubtic, Jelgn nobleman discovers that she 19 "The idea of the Investigation Is to|part of a syndicate ¢ ® are twe |Protect the public from the Wall strest | courses open to her > 1s to let tt steerers and legalized big mitt men, but 9 as tt stands to candal and the committee is working under cover and nobody knows what ts being done ety of s than omfort » dis. but the members of the comuiitice wopean | the people in Wall street who are b divoree, investigated, yorce | “In the mean time the co of which accounts for the |hasn't started to investigate the stock vores average among such.” doin with the Cotton Ex. Exchange. Produce Exch. For “Butting In.” pe AAAS) ) Our Propensity nishing up with these th ably take up the Wool FE Potato change, the the Horse, Cow By the time th Stock Ex t they are clroulating @ a school children velt- not. entle inoceros,"” 1 Mule get aro! nemy and the committee will be tired out tthe laundry man. of vacations in Europe, Which 4 cation of an | American ssuming the Proport jared the man was other people's bt “In ev a ticket | lator yssessed with “The Stock Exchange governing pow- | the {dea that everst is wrong exe ers know every move the committee cept what and utterly ree makes, While the committee Is inves- fuse lecent gating the Ice Exchange, the Chew-! man or woman 5 or ing Tobacco Exchai the Pork and | she pleases at vided the Beans Exchange and nf t one thi ny fringe fast Food and Dog Biscu! off the dignity and power of the law. the Stock Exchange 1s clea By the time the committee gets around to the corner of Broad and Wall there won't be anything in sight to investi- gate. The Stock to a long list of s punishments |, bers, and the ot m Leagues, Clylo nd sim- jodles, Few When there ts “a UITE a lot of excitement tn yement the moves England over the for dl- being wneously vorce of that American wom- necessary an against her noble husband,” re- atical men a women form marked the laundryman, the backbone of this b malady 1 sald the man who was|that afflicts the coun w they wetting his package. “We all take fallen ® ing it to the c in, In |terest in a divorce sult where the peo-|tithe we foolish frivolers who feel like | ple are prominent enough to warrant the enjoying and destroying ourselves in nsertion of thelr pictures in the papers, | our own way will have to organize to out we certainly do eat up the evidence | be enabled to exert our privile: in a sult In which the nobility figures, | a anonentemeaad “They say abroad, to our discredit, | A Suggestion that our! women are frivolous because \ To Trinity Folk. they won't stay married to thelr for- ——————rreer EB Tri: ch has engaged, @ press d the laundry an, replied the man who was gets e, “but to make a reat sh have retained Russell to do its press elgn husbands, It isn’t frivollty, It ts the Inability of the American woman to accommodate+he. self to circum- stances “When she marries a forelgn noble- man she takes him w the | she {is to be the only wife, The eet Bluff and Noise the New Weapons By George K. Chesterton HE good controverslalist 1s a good listener; he !s learned in the argue ments of his adversary, he wishes to have every word of the speeoly which he !8 to answer. The object of fighting is to hit, not merely to hammer, The swordsman who can only keep up a sword on the other sword {3 as weak as ho who drops his o and runs away from the other, And most of the gladiators of our press at pres« ent are of one type or the other, It is part of that unchlyalrous and even unmllitary {dea of bullying, of using bombastic terrors in order to avoid a confilct which Is at this moment the highest turret of the tall hypocrisies of Europe. Europe is full of the !dea of bluff, the idea of cowing the human spirit with a painted panorama of physical force, We see it In the huge armaments which we dare to accumulate, but should hardly dare to use. We seo it in the numerous biological theorles which are not suffle clently proved to convince scientific men, but which already are used to territy ordinary men. We see it in the ghastly Barmecide banquet of modern finance; in the stock exchange, where men buy and sell, - For the soul of all our commerce js that the peasant says (being often a greedy fellow), “I have grown a turnip; will you give me a shilling?” Whereas the broker says, ‘If I had 10,000 turnips would you borrow 10,000 shillings and buy, them?" It {s all the spirit of the bully, of the man who Instead of strengthening himself, labels himself strong. For in spite of Charles Lamb the popular phrase is profoundly true, the real bully is always a coward. For the bully 1s the man) who acts on the assumption that he will not have to fight. I do not ike hovering and lingering threats of armaments nor do I ike hoy= ering and lingering threats of riot. If people want to have a revolution let them, have {t and let !t have the advantage of a revolution, that of being drastic and decisive, But a mere parade of possible war seerns merely a perpetual anarchy, Revolution creates government, but anarchy only creates more anarchy, $$ o—___.. Epigrams. a> =~ By Minna Thomas Antrim, segj) OLITENESS 4s one of the best investments known, It pays endsmous dividends, Fools have thelr uses now as in anctent times; but thelr professo carries few honors, It 1s well to “hold hard” when writing letters, double weight. ‘The real wit has little to say, but makes that little tell. Egotism and Flattery walk simperingly arm in arm, while Wisdom chuckles, ‘The snob enthuses according to his host's bank account, atd his final reward {s the door, Rattling ancestral bones {s a poor way of getting a living. The young long to be happy; the old wish to be wise, Consideration is the most powerful link in the chain of love, The wisest are the least sure, The fool has no doubts, It's a toss up as to which {s the more intolerable, the inveterate croaker o@ the inveterate joker, Castles in Spain would be delightful 1f one only could keep them from toppling over.—Sunday Magazine, er Written words have L / ‘ tA 4 a