The evening world. Newspaper, January 11, 1909, Page 10

Sew tow —" ie # Mauric Published Daily Except Sunday by the Press Publishing Company, Nos, 03 to 6 Park Row, New York } VOSEPH PULITZER, Prea., 63 Park Row, J. ANGUS SHAW, Sec. -Treas., 63 Park Row, Entered at the Post-Office at New York as Second-Class Mail Matter, Evenlt For England and the Continent and Buvecaria tor the United States | AN ec In the International end Canada, stal Union. ——— SEE IF.You CAN FIND SOME MORE OLD GAS BILL SOHN, 1M FIGURING: OUT HOW MUCH THE COMPANY OWED Ud / f One Year, One Mo - $9.78 bars Oi NO. 17,310 JAIL FOR JOY RIDERS. UDGE FOSTER, of the Court of ions, has found a General Ses way to stop joy riding, whieh is to send joy riders to jail for larceny. Larceny is defined by the Penal Code to be the taking of the use of the property of an- other as well as the permanent taking of the property itself. For a person to take another man’s suit of clothes without his knowl- edge or consent, to Wear them and then return them is larceny. On this broad ground joy riding by a chauffeur or any one else is the larceny of the use of an automobile. Incidentally, joy riding is the permanent appropriation of gaso- Une, oil and grease belonging to the automobile owner, unless the chauffeur furnished his own supply. In two cases, one on each ground, conviction has been had in the Court of General Sessions and the offenders have been sentenced to Jail. Execution of the jail sentence was suspended and the cases cer- tified to the Appellate Division to secure a conclusive determination of the law on this subject. The worst class of joy riders are the minor city employees, Every | city department has several automobiles. The heads of the depart- ments could not use more than one automobile at a time if they tried. | The subordinates sce that the machinery does not rust through disuse | and that the tire, gasoline and repair bills do not fall short, Also the municipal joy riders do not hold themselves amenable to the ANOTHER ONE LESS BIX } apeed laws. | cess BIA VEQUND AE A joy chauffeur taking around a party who cannot show an official | | AND ONE Now I'M GOING | erate badge frequently winds up in the station house. The city’s chauffeurs with their loads of officials and the officials’ women friends defy the policemen and the speed ordinances. | To WASH UP S OF REST. e Ketten, Od HERE'S ONE | FOUND Y IN THe BoTTom oF Your OLO.TRUNK EES {3 cz es HERE'S 4 BUNCH |FOUND ON THE Top SHELF OF THE PANTRY Two ano Two. FIVE ano Six TEN AND Seven EIGHTEEN AND THESE ARE BILLS . OF TEN YEAPS AGO THEY ARE NO Goop Loot AcrAIN 4 Husbands Nos. 1,2 and3 % oe =, |$ In the Game of Progressive Matrimony w first, second and third w whenever Fate, un: | hampered by Gov. Hughes, permits him to play| the matrimonial stakes across the board. Now, when a woman is given a similar opportunity for extensive selection, what are her three best bets apt to be? | Does she pick a husband by shutting her eyes and I AST week we considered a man’s choice of his) lus prospects more selentifieally from a past perform. ance card? It depends on the number of the husband | she {5 choosing. Unquestionably her first venture {s a stab In the dark. So let us close our eyes with her and ctly what she ehonses A few jail sentences to municipal chauffeurs would save the city | ough money to buy good hose for the Fire Department, or to stop | oome of the leaks in the water pipes, or even to pay the salaries of a few $50 a day Catskill condemnation commissioners, me to meet the masculine {deal T had To etup violations of any law, to inspire a spirit of respect for the The First Husband. ‘ Saat whi BY I Teh stavenienn ot fee aes 4 sae Wy py i depends, of course, a great deal sure would now find myself law, to spread a belief in the law's impartiality and equal administra- H on her age when she finds him, dened with e mixture of Na- n, Byron and a common or porch- | tion, there is nothing equal to jail sentences and their execution. This applies to much richer and bigger joy riders than chauffeurs | #4 and to higher municipal employees than the gasoline burners, | | Letters From the People An Unrniy Son, ‘Fe the Baltor of The Evening World: I would Uke rendors to give me a ‘tt- @e advica in regard to my son. He is tourteon y old atid does not want to 0 to school, He goes with bad com- Tf an unkind destiny had allowed poles The Million Dolla OH, MR.MONK ' LOOIE t Aaa HUA! EXCUSE ME FOR HAS GIVEN ME ALL]| A MINUTE | ILL RUN HIS GAS COUPONS! /\ HOME AND GET MINE ISN'T HE KIND? | ats, erences, and when I showed the refer- ve ences from the firm I worked for tn 3 197, and sald that I worked for my | ther in and could bring refer- ces from my father or from retailers ith whom I came In contact every ire Beny, I cannot control him. What day (but did not work to ), [ recalyed | @hall I do? He threatened to @ short "We employ only peo- e@way whew I will not be able ple with firat-class references,” Read-! fim. I think It ume for me to do ers, are not the references of a re-| something apout !t. It would break my catler 6 econd or T: us as heart to nee him go wrong. He is my only son an@ big for hie age. talking about jump apd going out West good as those of a wholesal | He 's avenue or Broadway? And if not, on freight trains Le / MOTHER, AMES: The Pen Problem Peanuts Grow Underground. 4 To the Editor of The Evening W Do peanuts grow under und @bove the surface of the earth? 8. AND F, BLESS YO’ HEART, BOSS, WE AIN'T HAD NO QAS bu THE GAS COUPONS, 9 pens at § [re BRING ME ALL Mo the Editor of The Evening World Hi (at & cents apiece IA wh, Among all the rkers that ride 7 i in the subway, don't any of plain of the bad service? overcrowded. Th The doors are 3! The uptown trains the early evening A add more cars and have better service at Brooklyn Bridge, Fourteenth straet and Grand Centra! station HARLEM VICTIM Thomas Lincoln. n com: Trains ar crowds are nd on w brea can be fous States The Mierobe Theory, ening W To the Editor of The Eveniog Word stabbing his name with a hatpin, or does she figure 9Ut Brooklyn de! Kid # By Nixola Greeley-Smith climbing bandit. Unless, to be sure, , be cut down to fit almom the Instinct self-preservation had | of course, that {s what ha long since compelled me to leave him) our {deals after marriage. after having him jailed for assault and battery. Once a distance, I thought 1 saw the living embodiment of my ideal man at this extraordinarily ro- | bands over, we cut and baste an mantic period, but persistent Inquiry jour little halos until they fit th revealed the half-glimpsed god as aj brows we first sought to crown essen man In his Sunday | them. clothes. And since then I have rather, The first husband {fs so much a distrusted Ideals. Some women, however, are less for- tunate. For they lead thelr earliest ‘deal man to the altar and catastrophe almost Inevitably results. one. |{t seems a pity he should { jment very much higher and holler ‘a woman tor his successor, The actual man Feminine {deais, by the way, are ob-|not deserve tt. What she loves n tained ready made from the romantic! merely such stuff her own novelist. And it is a fortunate thing | dreams are mnie of, but whater ever wholly si that, ke ready made clothes, they are | tuteer how many built on @ herole scale so that they can | sities of death or divorce pro’ ter of luck-sometimes of bad Iuck—th pire a sen’ | | | For ppens to a For {deals are much more malleable than men, an discovering very soon that no amount of prayers and tears will make our hus- 1 pate! manly with mat thar an ever bring herself to feel 6 aot "LL MAKE Looie's FEW COUPONS LOOK SMALL! WE MUST HAVE A MILLION= ‘CAUSE we KEEP LIGHTS GOING ALL THE Time! HUH) | BET WE ‘XL BURN QAS AFTER THis! By R. W. Taylor, A says Abraham Linco ather's Fs — E name was Abraham 3 says it was not for 6,001 Distinction Counted. | VE le IW. Je 3 it abe f HE physician took @ little more turkey. lersey City ‘alk A Matter of References. at germs ON ow ‘To the Editor g The Evening World t s eae the same, and hence human flesh and turkey flesh are @ good deal alike, I went looking for y When I watrid aii “Flan digest nen best. Carntvorous anim @hswered an ad” 5 al ep ‘Ube fees keep In tne be pearance and age seer ait 3 meee at eal itn | & t, sere all very much, brings \t round with @ meal or two of snake meat. had references 1 st-class h sea s are being & “These and similar fecta have been of New York and Brook ere eat ing at the foot of Berlin chemist, The most digestible and worket unt the ‘att art oof estors t ela anu scouted: periments show, is that whioh ts more like the feeder. The most ind! From the begjaning of Line strides of n in the w ¢ p thelr ta. ly and least nourishing food is that which fs moat unlike the feeder. part of September, 14, i worked |jearning and improvenient of sanitary hount and walk, | my father. I was asked for ret- conditions NATHAN ZANK. Gircia 1 push.’ "~The | most unreamonadia® ~ A Plea tor Cannibalism. — | e digest turkey easily," he said. \ turkey eats grain, mat, fish, pretty much everything tasty; we do condition. When a snake goes off its feed the trainer soon ; | + The Gity of Pills, “because the flesh resembles our | Proved strikingly by Emil Fisher, the most economical food, chera Cannibal- ERE {# one olty in the world to- day which bears an absolutely unique distinction, and that ts De- |trott—the “City of Pills," This year tt if fed on the flesh of carnivores, |14 estimated that Detro!t manufacturers | will make three-quarters of the world's | supply of pilla, or over #ix billion pellets, | the or all sizes, shapes and colors, and in-| tended for almost every allment of hu- cost-| mankind, America ja the greatest pill- jh lam, in other words, se the meet ble food faw, and le the eonsuming nation on earth, t! pT otxty f The Evening World Daily Magazine, Monday, January I1, 1909. THE DAY By OCOODOHOHHOIIAVAGOGADOOSOOHVDIACG: Fifty American es Soldiers of Fortune: | é 3 By Albert Payson Terhune @ NO, 36.—CAPT, JAMES COOK, y f-YEAR-OLD English boy---Tames Cook, son of a farm hand apprenticed to a villaje drygoods merchant. The lad This feeling did not tend expert In measuring and selling cloth, His master undertook to punish Cook for laziness. A fierce quarrel followed. The youngster threw over his work and shipped as cabin boy on a trading sloop, By this. and lost a dry goods clerk and America won a soldier of fortune. Cook had a genius for everything connected with seamanship. Within He threw over this able work at twenty-seven to join the British Navy when war wes. ared against France, Four years later he had won a master’s certifil- ind was sent to help Wolfe capture Quebec. There, by daring feats and } wl ma fame, His most-talked- a ig of charts and sur ys, in the face of galling fire from the French batteries, In 1762 he alded in England's capture of Newfoundand, Hie had employed his leisure time during these years in studying astronomy, Instead of loafing and carousing with his fellow-officers, Astronomers were rare in the royal navy, and this odd form of knowledge made Cook at once a man of mark, In pursuit of his scientific work he was sent In 1768 on an exe Kian Away to Sea, ploring expedition to the then almost unknown | Da nnnnnnnneemeie? «South Seas. Having fulfilled his astronomical mission there, he started in quest of a huge southe ern continent that was supposed to Ile just north of the South Pole, Reaching New Zealand, on this wild goose chase, he tried to explore the strait that divides the Island. But he was driven back by the fury of the natives, who swarmed te \ the shores on either side, preventing his ship boats from landing Going thence to Australia Cook made valuable explorations there, took posseg ston of the whole Botany Hay region in the name of King George, and finshed his trip around the world, reaching England in 1771 after three years’ absence During the voyage he had again and again braved shipwreck and death at the hands of savages, England received him with open arms, and sent him on @ | second hunt for the mythical southern continent He made another three-year cruise and d the fact that none existed, Next he set ont search for the ‘ought northe | erm “passage” between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, It was this voyage thag entitled him, more than his Cana explotts, to be called one of America's sol~ Tere: fortune. He made tmportant discoveries along the northwestern coast of | America, found the westernmost verge of our continent and explored the Point an@ | the Sound that s | On the way ni | rich {slands. In honor of Islands. Returntr his discoveries and found Hawall foot on this future territory of the United The Hawallan natives did not attack h ng kindness, Cook soon dlseo —was hated dry goods and he loved the sea. a very few years he was captain of a coasting vessel. oor The Boy Who { covered—not the “continent,” but ward Cook had discovered a group of ndwich he named this group the ¥ s cruise along the north coast he He was the first white man to set as m, but recetved him and his men with owever, that the apparently friendly y | natives were rob! him of e hey could lay hands on. During the UB , light of Feb, 13 one of his best boats was stolen, Cook resolved to stop the Wholesale thefts by making an example ot the whi ibe had taken the y next morn! ship with nine men to cap- He planned to lure him aboard hts vessel and to keep him there as for the natives’ good behavior, The chief became suspicious and would | not go. His wives screamed for help. Other chiefs at the head of thelr men 4 | Tushed to the rescue. A canoe set out from shore jae % to summon natives from mare distant villages, A Battle With sallor from Cook's boat fired a musket as warning the Cannibals. to the canoe to put back. The random musket shot M 4 struck and Killed a chief. The throng of natives, at sight of thelr leader's death, cast aside al) pres tense of friendsh{p and hurled themselves upon the ten white men. Cook and hia nine followers tried to retreat to their boat. But only half the party escaped, Four of the sailors were slain in the first charge. Cook was separated from hig comrades and beaten to earth by sheer force of numbers. He dled fighting like a cornered Hon When a bones wer anniba the Islan is life he rowed ashore from hi he chief. y ue party from thd ship reached the scene of the massacre Cook's nd, pleked bare, His flesh t# belleved to have been devoured by the tives, The scattered bones were collected and were buried at sea off Cook had discovered—and where he bad paid the price of discovery with | Missing numbers of this series may be obtained by sending one | cent for each number to Circulation Department, Evening World. {Sayings of Mrs. Solomon Being the Confessions of the Seven Hundredth Wife. Translated By Helen Rowland. 8 EHOLD, my daughter, the MODESTY of MAN, ws B afark his HUMILITY! Yea, search for {t with @ ; microscope; for it covereth him lightly—evem as the garments of Salome, Verily, though he hath the face of a cartoon, the morals of a Boni De Castellane, the mannere of a jan- itor, and the back hair of an art student, yet when he seeketh a wife he wanteth only a PERFECT BEING. Yea, the wife of His Majesty, Satan, must be above reproach, and the Living Skeleton demandeth a woman with the figure of a Venus. He that eateth with a knife and manicureth his nails in public is looking for a PERFECT LADY, and Methuselah admireth nothing OVER sixteen, Go to, my daughter, art thou a man's IDEAL? .. | Hast thou the grace of a crorus girl and the wisdom of the Sphing? . | Hast thou the mind of a Minerva and the beauty of a Lillian Ruseell? Hast thou a talent for cooking, the innocence of an ingenue, the fasch’ nations of Cleopatra and the cunning little ways of Billie Burke? Then shalt thou “do"—only providing thou possessest along with all of these an overwhelming modesty which shall make thee perfectly willing to i be a side dish—even a PLAYTHING, which can be picked up and dropped { like unto an old pipe. f Verily, verily, when a man seeketh a wife he seeketh a BARGAIN. He wanteth EVERYTHING—and he doubteth not that he can get it for NOTH. | ING! Selah? , x ‘ The Boy Was Going Some. TL. experiment to demonstrate the practicability of a pneumatle carrier was recently tried tn Chicago, The “parcel? shot through a short length of sample tube was a thirteen-year-old boy. He travelled at the rate of sixteen miles an hour, and was In no way the worse for tne journey, ote x | “@ The Day’s Good Stories # { u 13 ' | AJudictal Privilege, [4,2 In whatever manner pleases mo— f lal TEIEETIEIUGD good onlaed dad 4 waa dining at a friend's house) Found a Better Place. and the conversation turned on some Gebatable topic. One of the guests ex: | pressed his own views at some length and with some heat. Suddenly he said to the Judge: “T observe that your Jordship shakes his head at that statement. I desire to | reamirm it, although your lordship dis- sents.” “T am not‘ aware,” coldly responded the Judge, “that I have intimated how I shall construe your arguments, nor ARK TWAIN eays: Once when 3 was going out to visit some friends I told George, my negro servant, to lock the house and put the key under a certain stone near the . He agreed to do so, It was late at night when I returned. I went to the stone under which the key was sup- posed to have been hidden. It was gone. I hunted around for about fifteen minutes, but still no key, Finally © went to George's house—he roomed out. what my decision will be In the event | siqg and rapped vigorousiy upon the d of my entering Into this discussion. | qoor, A black head, which I had no % Your remark {s, therefore, entirely un-|aimculty in recognising as (George's, called for,” “But your lordship shook his head.” “True,” sald the Judge; “there was a fly on my ear. And I'll have you know, sta that 2 reserve the right 60 remove popped out of an upstairs window, “Where did you put that key, you black rascal?” I roared. 7 ' ania tens sow fou jae TORR * Sse ob ta a ER!