The evening world. Newspaper, October 31, 1908, Page 8

— . ” ee red The Evening World Daily Magazine, Sore eopemetne Saturday, The New York Girl---No. 4 By Maurice Ketten. Published Datty Mxcept Sunday by tho Press Publishing Company, Nos. 83 to 68 Park Row, New York. | PORRPH PULITERR, Pre. 1 Rast 184 Bireet, E. ANGUS OTLAW, BonTrena, $01 West 11th Street Entered at the Post-OMce at New York aa Becond-Class Mall Matte: @ubscription Rates to The Ev For England and the Continent and All Countries in the International Postal Union. One Year... $75 One Month... 85 ‘orld for the United States and Canada, hae} ‘Yen! Month. VOLUME 49.....ceeeeeees PLUTOGRATS LINING UP AS USUAL. Much ingenuity has been exerted during the campaign to make | it appear that some of the great plutocratic beneficiaries of Privilege | as consistently conferred by the Republican party for a generation past were acting with the Democratic party this year, but it now develops that with almost human intelligence they are all favorable to Mr. Taft’s election. In one day John D. Rockefeller, Edward H. Harriman and Andrew Carnegie dissipated doubt as to their political preferences by announcing that they hoped for Republican success. Who would have thought it? What a blow this must be to those ,guileless Democrats who have given credence to the stories of vast contributions to their party funds from these “enemies” of Roosevelt! ‘And how gratifying must be the information to the President, who/| finds that big men as well us little men know how to take a joke! Where is only one party of privilege, and every plutocratic ox in the land knows his master’s crib. —— + $s —_—_— DEMOCRACY NEVER OUTGROWN. In a letter to The World Morris Hillquit, Socialist, says the Jefferson theory of government was all right in its time, but that it) is now outgrown. There,are two errors in this kind of reasoning. One lies in the assumption that Socialism is modern and Jeffersonian Democracy ancient. On the contrary, Jefferson knew as much about Socialism as Hillquit does, and his theory was formed in part to| antagonize it. The other is that there is no escape from the evils| resulting from the abuse of the Jeffersonian system except in Social- ism. In this view Mr. Hillquit has much company. When a nation| enters upon wrong courses it rarely retraces its steps. We all know That existing wrongs in this country are largely due to our de- parture from Jeffersonism. If our Government could be made just and impartial and simple, ag, Jefferson wished it to be, even the So-| cialists would have little ocmplaint to make. Have Americans for- gotten how to repeal bad laws and do away with bad practices? ae THE AMOUNT TO DRINK. ‘As eminent scientists the world over are not agreed as to the amount of intoxicants that may be used as a beverage without injury, it is not strange that tho laity have some difficulty in reaching fixed conclusions. In a New York divorce trial a witness said that the defendant drank no more than a lady should. “How much should a} lady drink?” he was asked. “My estimate is a pint of champagne,” was the reply. Later on the witness corrected his concluding state- ment so that it now reads: “A lady should drink as much as is good for her.” This sounds as though he had taken expert advice. The scientists who are holding forth at great length on the subject of stimulants never get any nearer a direct statement than the witness did in his final word. What is good for one lady might be death and destruction to another, and it is the same way with men. eae CHANLER’S DISMAL ISSUES. | So far as any question of personal liberty enters into the contest for the Governorship of New York, it involves only the personal lib- erty of race track gamblers to do as they please. When Mr. Chanler makes personal liberty an issue, therefore, he might as well announce Bimself as the candidate of the race track gamblers and be done with 4t. In like manner his only other issue—the Public Service Commis- sions—while more confused by reason of his frequent changes of | | seseceeeees NO, 17,288, THE SUFFRAGETTE Hallowe’en, the Election and Business Slumps Make the Chorus Girl’s Life One Mad, Sad Whirl “It I could play the plano Mke Dopey can I'd try to get a job myself pley- ing in @ painless dental parior. Dopey says if they still put the poor working- man down and prefer automatic pianos in rathskellers he's got en idea that he thinks there's big money in. “Dopey says he's noticed that the latest things open at night Is the lunch wagons and billiard perlors. Why not combine the two? You have to pay rent for @ billiard parior, but you have only got ¢o get permission to stand a lunch wagon in a public square. Why not get permission and then put pool and bilifard tables in the lunch wagon. “I only know I got to do something, because the theatrical business ‘s-bad. I could tell you of good people that 1s playing this season for twenty and twenty-five a week that used to get their sixty and seventy-five. And since the managers is selling direct to the cut-rate ticket agents even the ushers ain't getting a chance to slip people that get in on admissions into good seats if they come ecross with a quarter. Iron Hand, the Boy Usher, although he tp grown up now, was telling me that almost every usher on Broadway was living on his pay, and most of them don't get paid. By Roy L. McCardell, “VW HAT between Hallowe'en and election I'm all foshed,” said the Chorus Girl, ‘and what's more, so's the theatrical business, “Don’t you hear the beller that’s being put up because some of the managers is trying to get over with the bloomers by having the amoke-shop Tysons stall for them? “If you don't understand that you. don’t understand the Engtish ichguage. But, if it has to be explained to you, the managers js going to the mat with each other because some of them has been selling seats to the shows that ain't doing well at 60 cents for $2 seats, “The town {s full of theatrical bargain hunters, and 1f you wonder why some of the shows on Broadway that is shines 1s keeping open it's because the cut-rate ticket brokers, what pretends to make an honest living selling S O' led clears, is getting $2 seats from some managers at 60 cents per and selling umed that he is in| them at 7, with no risk, because they can return all they don’t sell. | Listen and you shall know all! full sympathy with the traction exploiters, who spoke their honest | or “Toule Zinekemner eave: the ewisen henge in feahlonk, Wit Mel princes! Hk, striker. throws a duttle of ivinial at him sentiments in the Democratic platform, in which they declared against modified Directoire, {s going to hurt the cloak and eult trade something flerce. fovernment by commission. In these two ideas we hay. vary |. uoule ane Able Wopetehevn ia thinking of getting cheaper lofts and they & y ‘ ; > Ideas have the Very |wes looking at some, tut couldn't cake) up thelr minds tw ihe place they was substance of Mr. Chanler’s argument in favor of his own election. 1g|!ooking at caught Gre while they were there, and they telephoned to their ship- {t e strong appeal to independent Democrats? ping force to move overt once, But them high pressure salt water mains baf- oe front, can have no meaning at all unless it is ass fied them, and the fire wae out before their stock was in. a “Loute says it's things like that what tends to make the most conservative CORTELYOU ON EXHIBITION business man radical enough to vete for Debs under the sign of the Torch. | | "Dopey McKnight won't play Rubenstein's Melody in F any more, He's all Coming at the very end of the hammering two cream puffs together. ness in his own. “It's just like Charley Face was telling me about getting held up {n Chicag: for Tschaikowsky's mazurkag and George Cohan's ragtime, because that's the “Things was so bad with Iran Hand that he thought he'd make « little money scabbing on red taxicabs during the strike, But, alas! what happens him? | — in @ playful manner and ‘ects in cloaks and wraps going out overnight and nothing in demand but the! {t hits the steering wheel and breaks all over the poor boy's hands. The next | morning his hands {s Ike soft shell crabs and he 1s Iron Hand no more, being crippled for life so far as pulling through a bléomer show to instantaneous | success by whirlwinds of applause on the opening nights ts concerned. Of course it dian’t hurt him any, because by the time the vitriol had eaten through the skin it's strength was all gone, but now when he claps his hands it sounds like “Well, he tried to take somebody's else's job and now he's put out of bus!- |The robbers bound him and put @ gag in his mouth, But Charley Face |s @ Becretary Cortelyou has made and is to much harm; but if Cortel) 1 earlier there is no telling what damage he might haye inflicted upon the Republican campaign. day, Oct. 29, s reflects upon the De didates and you into the ike will not do Judge Taft 1 had been exhibit ks well f. the shrewdness of the Rep ocrats in another way. If the Dempcratic can- 1 Cortel- Corte}. nanagers had been wise t) would have you has been and will rem favor of re} n one of nts in tating the Democracy a true party of Opposition. SS THE HONORABLE DOLLAR JIM, At Utiva Judg will try to forget, as Taft m; a remark which his friends no doubt lows: iWith respect to the personnel of the the Vice-P, national ticket 1 cannot speal dential can- didate, with whom I am deli your own Honor. able James $8. Sherman.’ In the event of Republican victory next Tuesday, Judge Taft's friends will alsc get the Honorab try to wr James 8, Sherr , the high off thereof. W Presidency, there will be he will hold and the constitu- tional possibilities and the 1 only one | 2 between Dollar Jin one polit *t in this country chut will be too painful for contemplation Letters From the People. More “Longest Word o the Editor of The Event A correspondent 4 longer word which has se @ay that the lor Ush vocabulary tiona fess.” which, « Webster, | To the f The Evening World @eans “lack of symmetry or propor-| Is tt in good form to wear a Tuxe Gem” It has twenty-one letters, The!With an oper hat? G. E. tign, the few speeches which | muste that de While the fact that he was kept under cover until Thurs- | |e ans, it | 3 lops the muscles, and Dopey's thinking of going into the fighting game, Kid McOoy trained tn an automobile end Philadelphia Jack O'Brien is going to train at the Plaza, So Dopey says that !f he can get a job playing the plano in @ rathskeller and take up hard training again he doesn't know but what he'll go into limited bouts hisself. anhandle Pete Is Pinched on 1090660604668 30000 TINK Vu TAKE A Quiet | \ Snooze) | SAY, VL Have To PUT OU UNDER ARREST ! comedian, and when he found the gag the robbere had put in his mouth was an jold gag tt didn’t take him a second to get it off. Gedap! Have you seen Puss Montgomery's new necklace?* Say, her teeth are like pearls, but her pearls are like teeth. ‘Who you going to vote for? i 1940O99990O0900406 6 000: 09999904) Hallowe’en- By George McManus 4 EIB LOL 9ALOEPOOEPE ODODE OME D> 2OODOOOEDDD MS a 1, MASK IN DE DAY-TIME October 31; 1908? Take It From Me, the Little Old U. $. A. Will Be Beat- ing it Along the Same as Usual Next Wednesday said the laundryman, “the election will be over by the time you get your sht and collars done up again.” “Three cheers ejaculated the man who was getting his package. “It'a Deen a flerce strain for the candi- ates and the men who have offices they're afraid they'll lose and the men who have no offices but hope to get jsome, They have tried to make us be- Neve that !f Bryan ts elected bartender: | and faro dealers will be appointed to | Juggle Justice on the Supreme Court | bench, and if Taft ts elected no laboring man can draw his pay until he has hur- led an injunction, and that Bryan will fill the dinner pail with wind pudding. “By the way, who carries dinner | pails? \ this town for quite a few years at all hours of the day and night and I never saw a men lugging a dinner pail yet, except !t might be the basement of one with foam running over the edges. “Take {t from me, the little old U. 8 ‘A. will be beating it along the same as usual next Wednesday morning, no matter which of the able Pullman car Gwellers we condemn to a quiet home life, free from the cares of state. “As for the people at large, they taken the campai |took the Merry Widow hat and the Sa- lome dance and the closing of the race tracks. There was a time when a na- tlonal election tore us up like a dyna- mite explosion. Men honestly believed the country was going to wither up and blow away if their candidate was de- feated. The average voter has had a lemon handed him so often, wrapped up in the election returns, that he don't get a thrill out of a Presidential fight any more. It {a too much like a moving pioture show, | “T have doped out a scheme to revive interest. Let the delegates of the great parties meet in secret session, say on the Fourth of July, Msten to speeches of nomination and hold @ secret oath- bound ballot. Then let the ballot boxes be locked up in a burglar-proof safe in the United States Treasury until Oct. 1. On that date let them be opened by a committee, which shall count the votes and make known the namestof the nom- inees® By the time the successful candi- dates got their speeches framed up the election would be only about fifteen days away and only a comparatively small percentage of the people would have to listen to them, But think of the fever heat the country would be in during July, August and September, waiting to see who had copped the nominations! Chink of the guessing contests in the newspapers, of the efforts to poll the That's the Way It Is: A Man With Money to De- Hi posit or Invest Is Quite | | querade ball. I have been circulating around | The People at Large Have Taken the Campaign the Same as They Took the Merry Widow Hat and the Salome Dante, oath-bound delegates, of the claims and counter-claims of the various candi- dates! Why, say, we'd all be dippy.”” SIOUX TORTURES AND COLLEGE BOYS; “] remarked the laundryman, that the Greck letter fraternities | In the Jerkwater colleges continue to initiate new members after the fash- on set by the S| Indians in the treatment of prisoners.” “Can you blame the boys?” asked the man who was waiting for his package. “Look at their fathers! It 1s charace teristic’ of the reasonably American cltizen to join an the rules of which require him to make himeelf up like he was going to a mas- Secret , supposed-to-b ness and profes which lics of the inhabitants of a buge |house look lke 4 congress of artificial nufacturers, e campaign Br jzle lodges out in Omaha ca Aksarben. Two nights ago a lot of fantastically attire’ prom- t citizens kidna nh nber of the Kanoono, The influence of a man who can find | amusement by making an organized w of himself 1s bound to show up in his offspring.” AS TO MORSE AND BANKLESS BANKERS. | HIS Morse trial,” declared the | 46 T laundryman, “seems to indl- cate that a man don't have to about banking to run @ know much bank.” “That's why the Government keeps such a close t on the banke the man who was getting his package. “The taxpayers of this country pay & liarge expensive staff of experts to travel around and/see that the bankers don't steal the cush that ts ed in to them, This is necessary because the ethics of banking are understood only by bankers and bankers’ lawyers. Neve ertheless, if I had a chance I'd start @ bank.” you'd never get any of my money,” jsaid the laundryman, “because I know you. ts the way !t {s generally,” re- plied the man who was getting his pack- age. “A man with money to deposit or invest 1s quite likely to turn it over to @ stringer.” By Nixola G grouch wi! occurs to him clously looking By the time —he hasn't seen a point that he jnition of the Third Age of Man— Because of her an aureole rests On such @ day his stenographer mey | women clients all seem outraged ang for the same woman to be The New @ Ages of M NO. WI.—WEDNESDAY— has recovered sufficiently Y Wednesday B Monday, up and take notice of womankind. Sighing like furnace, Made to his mistress’ eyebro' reeley-Smith THE LOVER. morning, Man, the mewling infant of from the th which he t!naugurates the week to ait If he be married it Wednesday afternoon to telephone the wife of his bosom to meet him downtown for dinner and the theatre after it.,If single, he {s willing to concede that perhaps he was rather too dictatorial in an argument Monday night with the young woman he is gra~ over with a view to matrimony, And he resolves to gO around in the evening and tell her 60. evening has arrived his approval of her her for forty-eight hours—has risen to such almost lives up to the Shakespearian defi- “And then the lover, with @ woful ballad above ail feminine eyebrows, in his eyes, shop all afternoon:’ If he be a lawyer bis els even after they have left his office, For the strange intermedial quality of masculine devotion makes it possible on Monday an unnoticed nonentity, on Tuesday @ fairly attractive little creature and on Wednesday an angel of light, A woman loves so much more evenly than man ‘thet she seldom unde | stands the fluctuation of the masculine heart, and because of the even quality pf her Jove man in the same woman, treating him in the se not to see his spouse He finds her kiss of 6) ‘woman, In a manner Indicating restr gether is the sad fect that in moods attentions he misses. and baske in the sunabine of his br’ Perhaps she shows him her new since her honeymoon, cided st might interfere with the wo next day or the next week when the ebb tide of f His wife, being it. On the contrary, she does the best she can to play up to his loverlike role them must adorn the inside of his wate! Once more hig wife walks the rosy clouds of illusion she had not toughed high tlde of his emottons calls her unresponsive—yet the ling is upon him, the eelt- lf-mame way, seems overfond, Going home Wednesday evening the man, with the mood of the lover upon him, is grieved thanging half out the window watching for ‘his approach. iting perfunctory. 4 she attends strictly to her own wants, leaves him to fix bh and generally gives evidence of the narrow, egotistical, self-centred character of He observes that during dinner own baked potato, ‘ained grief he tells her so, Forgotten alto~ less sentimental he has rejected the polite tactful person, does not remind him of let ardor, photographs and he decides that one of But Thursday dawns cold and clear; the lover of Wednesday likewise, The plctdre does not go in the watch at all On second thoughts he has der rks to Tremendous Heat From Electricity. T‘: electric furnace ts capable of attaining a heat of 1,200 degrees. This fearful temperature and will melt almost everything solid known to mam, ‘In comparison with this heat « redhot iron bar would be called ceid, ~