The evening world. Newspaper, October 29, 1908, Page 16

ul (WMtiehea Dany xcept Sunday by the Press Publishing Company, Nos. 88 te al Park Row, New York | + PULATERR, Pree., 1 Rast 184 Street, J. ANGUS BITAW, Bee. Trees, $01 Feet 11th Btrent | Bntered at the Post-OMce at New York as Second-Class Mall Matter. [@ebecription Rates to The Evening rid for the United States and Canada, One Ye One Mo! 50 ban Bes ati oo it (VOLUME 4v. “ BRYAN AND ROOSEVELT. £ The Democratic cause is belittled and the wrongdoing of a {prllfud, despotic and mischievous President goes without fitting Webuke when Mr. Bryan raises no issue against Roosevelt except » jjne that is personal and comparatively petty. “Why can he not |{coep out of this fight and leave it to Taft and me?” he asks, and (there is a complaint in nearly all of his numerous speeches that he) We “running against two men,” and that the President is misusing pis office by taking an active part in the election. » If Mr. Roosevelt had done nothing worse than offend Mr. Bryan {wr belittle his great office he might be regarded with indifference. |B¥e shall not always have Chief Magistrates letter-perfect in matters pf taste and deportment. But Theodore Roosevelt has been & it offender against good government, against good morals, against phe Constitution and the laws and against the best traditions of! ithe Presidency. Vociferating virtues common among decent buman beings everywhere, he has encouraged war and imperialism, has promoted extravagance, he has undertaken to overrule pourts and Congress, he has condemned men without trial, he has) d with Harriman, he has made himself responsible for Bie, and in many other ways he has familiarized the Ameri-; Pan people with violence and tyranny, with royal favoritism andj ith the most contemptible of revenges. i There was enough in all this to keep Mr. Bryan and the Dem-| tic party busy from the beginning to the end of the campaign} Menouncing it, warning the country against it and promising better | things as a result of Democratic restoration. Instead of this we} lind the leader of the sogalled Opposition nursing a grievance, if mot a grudge, of his own and taking no account of the graver mis-} leeds of the man whom he criticises. Men will not long remember Mr. Roosevelt’s incivility to Mr. Bryan, but the evil which Mr. (Roosevelt thas inflicted upon the American Republic will endure for | many @ year. me | .NO. 17,286, | sd ————_ +++ ——____. THE HEARSTITES ARE HUMAN ALSO. i With tha publication of each instalment of Standard Oil letters, Mr. Hearst is kind enough to state that his only purpose is to whow that both of the old parties are thoroughly corrupt and that | fhe need of a new party is imperative. Is he sure that that is what the letters prove? It is true that Republicans and Democrats have | tainted with oil, but what is there in membership in the Inde-| mce League that will make a man proof: against the arts of jt monopoly? If Mr. Hearst can guarantee the virtue of his| followers, how did it happen that one of his political agents in| Gndiana was arrested last week on a charge of misapplying the| funds that had been committed to his care? Did no other repre- lpentative of the Hearst League—Mr. Chanler, for instance—ever prove. false? The truth is that wrongdoing is mainly personal. Political parties sometimes adopt policies which encourage betrayals of pub- lbic confidence, but no party can be made responsible for bribery and other forms of corruption in individuals unless it formally adopts them as its own. We may some time have a political organization powerful enough to insure the morality of its leaders and members land to make substantial progress in transforming human nature. Whe Hearst party, however, has all the earmarks of the earth without j® single celestial feature in evidence thus far. et | NEW YORK’S HEROES. i When to the glory attaching to membership in the baseball | (Giants is added the distinction of performing an act in vaudeville terminating in a song and dance, we have a combination which pearly reaches the limit of metropolitan popularity. To shine in fone of these roles would satisty the average ambition, but to tri- mph in both is to fill the tramp-of Fame wholly and forever. At the show where this spectacle was witnessed there were so many recalls that the favored baseball actor was compelled to beg his friends to desist so that the remainder of the programme might be \earried out. The other performers, waiting in the wings, must have discovered on that occasion that art is not always necessary ito success on the stage. Heroes drawn from wholesome sports will never do us harm, anyway. es NOW IT IS “GINGER.” The corrupt use of money in American elections on a big scale Nbegan a generation ago in Ohio and Indiana, which were “Octobag Btates,” and in which both parties made prodigious efforts to £ lithe victory for its supposed effect upon the general balloting in| Movember. In those days the money spent to influence yoters was walled “soap,” and every election gaye rise to some phri which fas supposed to describe the method of the party that had the most | funds. ‘Thus there was a “T'wo-Dollar Bill’ campaign and a “Block | of Five” campaign and a “My Dear Hubjell” campaign, taking thei mames from expressions in private letters which fell into the hands tof the opposition. Later on we had the “Pull Dinner Pail” cam ef Hanna and the “Pract iman and Cortelyou been but the prospect is that the contents of the lear will bo known as “G ” Letters From the People. al Men” cc of Roosevelt Not much dou, "a, Who is dead. How can this be| 5 dope? He is over twenty f DIVER b | gust. But some he ways in the gut ins unless In pognrd 10 the bindersea|ycuvainevine, a. ¥, POUT ES - 2 “ iitinitintmentini 4 Apply to Supreme Court. the bridies, some horses get ¢ | BAitor of The Bvening World 0 that you | Deve 6 stepson and wish him wl} i Mr family ne and drop his|» ‘ oe ame gman 1908. “A Bad Stretch of Road.’’’ By Maurice Ketten. fy “py Yi, WY f saa + a HARMED pote eet mel Mr. Jarr Takes a Straw Vote of His Own Family That Convinces Him the Election Will Be a Landslide. By Roy L. McCardell. “a I’ you had a vote, Whom would you vote for?’ aske. | Mr. Jarr. “Why do you ask?’ inquired Mrs. woman-like, found herself never able to give swer to any question except if {t concerned such matters | of vital interest as clothes or the persistent derelictions of husbands, “Oh, so many people are going around taking stra votes in the shops, in the offices and in stores, theatres and churches that I thought I'd base some bets from a new | point of vie the candidates stand in + home?” said Mr. . “Well, if you should ask me,” replied ware. Jarr, should say that men scem to lose all sense about elec ume!" her features. “After all, maybe it’s all put on,” she said. ‘It's Just an excuse for men to stand around in barrooms with loafers talking what they think {s politics. And the meetings give them more excuses to get out. I don't believe they care at al “All that eside,” said Mr, Jarr, “you haven't answered my question. Whom would you vote for if you had @ vote?” "Oh, the men take care that the women haven't votes, all right!” said Mrs. Jarr, promptly, ‘Not that I would make myself conspicuous with those | Women’s Rights people, because most of them dress ike frights, But st is | f{ onable in England, and the Duchess of Marlborough, who is beautiful and certainly dresses in excellent taste, !f we can judge by her pictures, made a speech saying women should vote at a dinner; ari Mrs, Stryver, who was pres: ent, told me she was the sweetest thing!”” “Put, again I ask, whom would you vote for if you had a vote Jarr. ‘My gracious! Can't + - give me time to think replied Mrs, Jarr, “The! pictures of Mr. Taft make him 100k @o good-natured, and I heve no doubt he is) nice to his wife and {s a good provider; but Mr. Bryan never neglects his family Jarr, who, on Here a thought flashed across her mind and iit up ke Mr, Bpeec turned out? all the time. doesn de her debut""— "Can't you be rati for?” asked Mr. Jarr aj “How do I know? Mrs. Jarr petulantly. but I read in the paper hopeful. “Teddy Roose’ “Whom would you yote for, honey? I want tandy! “Tandy! dit tandy I'l ewy and te 'The trouble with this campaign,” the situation with Mr. Rangle going downtown—"'the trouble {s that there are no issues. runner of a landslide. ell, her father wai em, only about pokey old judges and Sen: na For Whom? He Doesn’t Know. jelther, except, of course, that he ts always going around the country making | es, and his family never sees him. | cause she was his private secretary. I suppose !t was a happy one, because you never hear about her 7 More, and if it hadn't been happy the papers would be printing her pictures And that reminds Roosevelt any more, and time was when Alice blouses Girect 4n-| even Alice blue as a popular shade, were all the rage. So that's why I say !t y @ woman to go into politics,” | But his wife used to be with him be- 1 wonder how his daughter's marriage e that we never hear anything about Alice Alice shirt waists, and said Mr. Jarr. ‘Whom would you vote for 1f?"— in politics, but now since Alice 1s married and Ethel ) would you vote for?” sald Mr. Jarr, interrupting in his turn. me with your old politics! t * sald Mrs, Jarr. m some good, and they are always looking for bribes and writing those | 1d vote for the one that gave “Bat men only vote for people they think are not at all interesting—there isn't @ love ors 1 just one minute and tell me whom you would vote Why do you bother me about your old politics?” asked ri that they are b: | matter which becomes the First Lady of the land “Whom would you vote for, kid?" asked Mr, Jarr, turning to am sure I never met elther Mrs. charn Taft or Mrs. Bryan, women, so what does it end graces the White House?" . who shoots bears!" answered lttle Willie Jarr promptly, asked Mr, Jarr, of the baby girl, Dimme tandy!” replied Uttle Miss Jarr. “If I don't r my dwess!”’ sald Mr. Jarr ponderously, as he discussed this campaign There {8 an apathy that looks suspiciously the fore- “Who for?” asked Mr, Rangle. But Mr. Jarr sald he didn’t know. The Ambitions of Sonny and Sue -: IF YOU GET THAT WORK DONE By Albert Carmichael UP DAT GUY save. IM WAIT ON MES October 29, | young | The New @ Ages of Man By Nixola Greeley-Smith “And one man in his time plays many parte; His acts being seven ages.” Man, according to popular belief, changes completely, os a phystest lentity, every seven years. Mentally, however, he undergoes more frequent transitions. In fact, 80 far as his individuality is concerned, he i@ a different man every one of the seven days of the week. Shakespeare divided | man's life into seven ages. But our age moves so much more swiftly than “the stately times of Great Elizabeth" that to-day men live as much ina week as their ancestors did in a lifetime. Hence arises this new Seven Ages of Man, condensed to the week in which he lives it. BOO Oo No, 1—Monday, the Infant. VuuRY man ts an infant on Monday—a mewling Infant E to follow the text, freshly weaned from the leisure and independence of his day of rest, and gazing with a dark green grouch on all the world. His wife, from long experience of his Monday mood, dares not speak to him at the breakfast table. With hip morning paper propped up before him, he crunches his foua silently, indulging now and then a little pantomime to tn- tmete to his meek spouse that the breakfast is distasteful to him. Going out, he fails to say good morning to the elevator boy and leaves unanswered his invariable com- ment on the weather. On tho subway stairs a man josties him, and swears. In the car @ woman with a dentally inserts the tip of @ feather in his eye, and all the way downtown he reflects gloomily on the folly, vanity ind extravagance of woman. His wife shall not go about like that, making herself and him ridiculous, No, she will be given to understand that the hat bearing twe pounds of feathers which he Was Weak enough to buy for her Saturday must be sent back and exchanged for a good, sensible bonnet. He opens the door of his office, and lo! the shining morning fi of his stenographer, with @ coquettish ruff decked with rose-c ribbons about ber throat! Faugh! It being Monday, and realizing the day of the Infant {s upon her, the yousg woman not late and she has her little catechism ready. Yes, sir; she wrote the letter to G gs & Co. Yes, sir; she mailed tt You, sir; she’s sure she mailed it. Very well. But she knows it's not very well; tat all day long she must walk the wire of extraordinary effictency that alone sop arates her from the fifty year old infant that pays her salary. | Why all men act Ike mewling infants on Monday 18 @ matter of easy analyse, Much as he reads about the blessings of work or discourses upon them himself, inday bappens just often enough to convince him how much he really disiikes al! effort. He may plan to go and spend it in the country. Knowing that wa sedentary occupation precludes his getting enough exercise during the week, ne decides to devote the afternoon to golf. But despite ali his resolutions, $ o'clock fluds him still in dressing-gown or pajamas, too happily idle to stir for less thaa | the end of the world. The further he gets from the work of the week that is finished, the nearer to the fateful Monday approaching with rolentless leaps, the greater the delights of |idleness appear to him. When Monday actually comes it finds him a fretful | infant with several pins sticking him—the first, the necessity of resuming the tortures of a stiff collar and shoes; the second, and all the others indeed, the deep black conviction that there ls a conspiracy afoot to ruin him. For every man is @ paranolac on Monday, nursing the dear delusion that be is much persecuted and misunderstood. His egotism, the consciousness of his own worth, ts the only “comforter” ded the poor Infant freshly torn from his idleness and mewling all of the | Blue Monday that gives him birth. cs 2ODY believes in “eternal punishment” nowadays ex- cept those who can’t afford to get a divorce. Dcn't think your husband led to you because be told you beio.e marria, > that you were the only weman be ever hud loved-it may have been true then. At always sounds funny to a man to hear @ woman in- sist that she wants to be treated like an equal, when be knows perfectly well that the one thing on earth she enjoys best is to by-tieated like a kitten. After all, everything 1s priced according to ite value; for instance, a clergyman will marry you for two dollars, but @ lawyer won't Givcrce you for less than two hundred. Sone men exhaust so much energy in trying to be gentlemen that they never have time to do anything else worth while, When @ man makes up bis mind to marry nowadays he doesn’t begin hunting tor @ wife; he just stops dodz.ug. When the Devil runs the elevato: he always makes it pleasant “going down.” Lost in the Woods. ° | By A. B. Carleton, us now take the case of a man lost in the woods twenty-five miles from the nearest rafiroad, or travelled road ef any Kind. In the first place, how does he know that he is lost? Because as soon as he misses his bearings he will invariably begin travelling tn a circle, and eventually recross his tracks. All people naturally step further with one foot than with the other. Some circle to the right, others te the left, or without direction, all describe a circle, It 1s storming, #0 that the lost man cannot find his direction by the eum. Theoretically, there are @ great many waye of finding direction in the woods— moss grows thickest on the north side of a tree, branches are heaviest on the south side, Norway pines lean toward the east, &c., but these things depend so much upon surrounding conditions, such as light and shade, moisture and dryness or the slope of the ground, that, unless one {s versed in woodcraft, they will only serve to confuse him, So let him stop right where he is and wait for th stars, the only positive means uf det Outing Magazine. in @ winter storm, Roosevelt Got No Napkin By Rear Admiral Robley D. Evans, © HE meal was served to us exactly as it to the men and nothing | was perraltted on the table which they did not have. On one occasion | I took the President to dine in this way with the crew of a battleship, | and he had @ most enjoyable dinner, ‘The captain was shocked that the President had no napkin to wipe his mouth on and 2roposed to send for one, but I assured him that 1 would-not permit one on the table, This custom of mine, like some oth«r of my performances, would have turned the captain of fifty years ago white headed, However that may be, it convinoed the men, and also the commissary officer, that I intended to wee that thase une flect wus to stop » | vast amount of growling and discontent in the fleet.—Hampton's Broadway Mages zine, —_——e+2——— inaainat PT SPP ee eer pear ieae « ‘| Little Items of Big Interest. |, LE T* Dominion of Canada contains kill River in Pennsylvania as an ex- periment to attempt to filter the water which 1# used for drinking purposes Philadelphia, ne . nearly 8,746,000 square miles, | More than half of France's tobacco imports come from the United States, The Socialist party polled almost es large a popular vote in 1904 as the other three minor parties combined, A ready speaker will utter about’ 7,600 words en hour in making an address, | A large Baptist church at Santa Rosa, Cal., was bujlt from the wood of single California redwood tree, At Gaylord, Mioh,, the other day they cut down en elm that was eight teet through at the base, It scaled more than 10,00 feet. The delivery of London's milk re- ae quires 4,500 horses, Near the St. Lawrence River in Cama da there is @ water slide three miles The sale of land reclaimed by the Fed-|long for conveying pulp wood to the eral reclamation service 18 expected |railway, It ts capable of moving nearly Inore than to repay the $60,000,000 ex- |8,000 cuble feet of wood an hour, pended to date by the Government, — — England loses persons every Geaweed may be planted ia the by emigsalon