The evening world. Newspaper, September 26, 1908, Page 9

Evening “World Daily "Magazine, | The Bouncer. By Maurice Ketten om f Pudlished Dally Except Sunday by the Press Publishing Company, Nos, 68 to 68 Park Row, New York SORRPH PULITZER, Pros., 1 Kast 12d Street, J. ANGUS BHAT, BeeoTrean, 201 Woot 11M E Entered at the Post-Ofice at New York as Second-Class Mall Matter, ‘ pti Rat to ‘The Evening | For England and the Continent and aia TY tor the United States All Countries tn the International Postal Union, . $3.50 One Year. . 955 ne sont 30 | One Ofonth — = ——— VOLUME 49...... « NO, 17,203. —— 2 IN A PORTRAIT GALLERY. The man who said that to most Americans Washington {gs only a steel ‘engraving might have included others of the Revolutionary Presidents in ‘the same Classification. It js not until we get to Jackson that we lose the steel engraving impression and come suddenly upon a wood cut. After Jackson there are oil paintings, one or two miniatures and several @aguerreotypes, to say nothing of tintypes, until Lincoln is reached, and from his time on we deal with photographs, i i All of these Presidents, from Washington down to and including Me- Kinley, seem far away, and It is natural that when we think of them our minds should behold portraits rather than men. Most of them lived fn plendid isolation, As a rule they travelled little. Their names are attached to sonorous messages, pious proclamations, matter-of-fact com- Missions and ponderous treaties, but we do not find them on the title pages of books of travel, adventure and romance, or at the end of introduc- tlons to works on philosophy, religion, sociology and domestic science. | They were grave, solemn and reserved men. Their portraits do them full Juatice. ; When we pass McKinley in this gallery of the great we come suddenly pon a three-sheet poster in various bright colors suggesting a combina. tion of the Henan-Sayers era of pugillsm and the more modern announce- dents of a Coney Island clambake, with just a hint of a Wild West show. There will never be any steel-engraving sentiment in connection with this f President. We have an {ntimate, not to say a familiar, knowledge of him. We have seen him perform. We know somebody that he has smashed In the nose, We have heard him shriek. We know that he is human and that something is happening to somebody in his vicinity every hour of fhe day. Portraits of the distinguished and the good are an unfailing object of interest. They may be studied with pleasure and with profit. They ex- plain many things which otherwise might never be known. —_-+-+___ | EQUINOCTIAL STORMS. The Weather Bureau is sure of one thing, and that is that the so- called equinoctial storm js a myth, As these storms cannot be satiafac- torily explained on any scientific basis, the learned doctors of the bureau not only repudiate every theory that is advanced, but emphatically deny that there are ahy such storms. In proof of thelr position they cite the fact that the autumnal equinox has passed in New York with everything me- teorological in the doldrums, ; 4 Nevertheless, the newspapers of the past week have been full of de- scriptions of hurricanes, cyclones, tornadoes, cloudbursts and torrential Trains in many parts of the northern hemisphere, including the West Indies | i f , i } | Mners have had some highly disagreeable experiences. Perhaps the weather | storms, but-the evidence that such disturbances appear with much regular- ity is very strong. One timely forecast of such an upheaval would be more | ~— ing myself talks about me and hopes I'm bel pity ~e | a | “ Saturday, ne NN EADQUARTERS =\ HEADQ I and our own Gulf States. There have been great storms at sea and Atlantic | The Chorus Girl Is So Riled Over the i-xplosion | men have good reasons for insisting that there should not be any equinoctial Of Her Sad Past That She Won't Hunt Engagements ae — sovereign soda CTS a rer eee September 26, 1908, a nt H Jorn D, Archbold’s : Ertbate- Correspondence TAFT Thro’ Funny Glasses dq > nounced that he would not desert his By Irvin S, Cobb. [ivational treasurer unt) wisi guile nad From Hi Glasses (o Green Glasses. | been proven, but at the same time it New York, Sept. 26,/Was noticed that Mr. Bryan began to earGreen—Up|rig a tip-up over the side of the ship D until this] where the water Is deapest, Congress- week 1t)man Sibley found himself suddenly looked very much | called upon to hurry to the deep woods as if this cam-/ and retire Into a cave, A former Stata paign would be! ‘Treasurer of Pennsylvania gave @ oon- nothing more serl-| vulsive leap over second base and did ous than a debat-/a Merkle to the clubhouse, Fx-Sens ing contest be-| tween a Bryan| gramophone. disk | and a Taft phono- | graph cylinder, But T am now} pleased to be able to report progress on the part of the Standing Committee on Roorl Boomerangs, Grand Slams and Confidential Letters, of which com- rittee Wiliam R. Hearst 1s the ient chairman Heretofore the general publle had re- garded Mr, Hearst us one of those large and growing class of orators who have a pleasing delivery but nothing to deliver, But the other night he bor- rowed a high hat from a gentleman In the audience and began taking fire- works, colored bails and John D. Arch- bold’s private correspondence out of It in a manner that made Keller, the ma- gician, look like a man with both arms cut off above the wrist, Since which time the eventualities with Intense suddenly dis- ave been eventu: rapidity. Gov. Haske covered that Instead of going on the ump he would have to go up It, Out ator McLaurin, after gasping painfully in Ohio there was a tow, crunching, gor several mi ike a German carp He Proceeded to Vo So. udebaker Wagon TUN- that has just bees atched out of Its u ng bug, and partles native elen ded that the only dignified a would be maintain The Democratic which, had been giv fon of a mbful of ac vegan flying around tn cf distresa~ ful hoots, It was unanimously re solved by the Republican National ommittee that none of them ever liked maker much anyhow. Any number of gentlemen in publio life who from time to time may have dropped a casual line to Mr, Archbold nothing of any importance, you un- derstand, but Just a friendly, informal note expressing the hope that the Arche bold family was well and inquiring how Mr, Rogers was standing the heat, with possibly a short postscript refer ring to the need of a temporary ao commodation until the crops had bees laid by, after election—any number of these gentlemen began to withdraw um ostentatiously Into the sub-cellar, not because they had anything to fear, bug merely because they don't know how many more letters Mr. Hearst might have concealed about his person, and felt apprehensive that, in the present ong the main road shortly | ected state of the publlo mind, thelr ‘ theres were able to discern faint! motives might be impugned in case @ now that I'm stopping with @| traces of Senator Foraker in the dust. large brunette cat should emerge from Taking Fireworks Out of It. f nice family, just has me so mad I could bite myself. i the bag. | e bureau's credit than all of its more or less scientific i a eas f epee i Candidate ‘Taft was moved to say that ; | to th more or less sclentific denials, By Roy L. McCardell. I never did anything 1 was ashamed of. Of course, I've done things my je would not sitike a man. while he etal Recker rent, out, and | 6 ELL, you never know anything about a family | family is ashamed of, but th T wouldn't have them De Branscombes yas down, and President Roosevelt and came home at dusk humming @ t WINNING AND LOSING. | W till you meet some member of it!” said the; Know that much a r for all the money in the world! he wouldn't elther~not as long as Hoody and Banke tune ie Bimaele) with j OSING. | MM you 8 REE W an h just the sweetest smile on his’ dear } Chorus Girl. “How would I have F i ; he coud romp back and forth on his old face. For his conscience {s eas A Stock Exchange firm which sold 538,000 shares of stock Jn one day with Mamma De Branscombe had committed ki es : Eee pane a thal t felt illke (doing. aor SUE erat ate ee prostrate form with @ stout pair of/ In fact, he has the easiest sconselen I Amy hadn't told me? Or how would I have known that] Charge of a all-nigh ch wag is Establishment Pry z *, which he| Lever heard o! can stand anything, practically no money and no stock on hand has been expelled in the interest Donald De Branscombe, through them inherited instincta| EAtirely Refitted and r New J something like that pebnalled Rue ADE xhioh ah?! Yours for a Rockefeller Ronnciaiaay of “just and equitable principles of trade.” It appears from the report of poponeecred sbyamminun Dad juesn| Rent coletTy of. the same Sai Gta THER ATHE es ic aecrucen eats acie=iha Far flay SISTER —- thing, if I hadn't heard {t from his family? company, and when Amy De Branscombe got back—they're playing Hoboken the Governing Committee that important interests on tne exchange per- “Of course, I would have suspected from seeing him| thls week in the German version—I cried till my eyes got so red Mr. Ziegfeld |. mitted these short sales to be “covered” at low prices, as It was known that tome home s0 many tlmes with his hair cut short and) Msht have thought I was up late the night before, and you never want to get | noticing his tendency was to walk toward the dining-| ® reputation like that {f you're on the stage, i the sellers had no resources with which to meet losses. In other words, room with his hand on somebody's shoulder; but, still, 1/ “The costumes are going to be just lovely in the new show, too, In one! ; | CGHEnIE Rose BOA cigs IR we Moines trae ng /Seene the cho: ade of stuff that costs forty dollars a} & then, a firm without capital which deliberately undertook to carry demoral- thatlelwhy t dontthwantinonelotimy people’ trom Altnonat ly dt feld laid down forty dollars and 3 “ ization and ruin into the Street was protected in its folly at the expense of Pa., to visit me, except my papa, who is a good o. ay jDOUBht the goods as if it were a mere atelle ; 5 By Helen Rowland. a 5 and has been in politics and thinks such remarks as ‘Turn | hey have to watch the girls in his shows, If they ftre them for the 00 TOOOOOOONG COODIDATG) a speculators who had a gambler’s right to the high prices which the covering "4s only in season during, election ¢ Hteast thing they are liable to put their costumes in their purses and walk DDODODHOOOGHOOSGOGOOGOGODOOIGSITHODODOe of such extensive short sales would have brought about. There !s no form) “Ain't {t awful the way your relations will meet total strangers LA Aa eily : p , NSIDER the show girls, how they dress; they toll about your Uncle John that drinks and your Cousin Emma that rai “Aint no’ on wre In this k at them taxicabs! 1 t, neither do they spin, yet Sol of gambling much meaner than that in which a player {s bound to lose with a drummer? Mater SATAN they ced, that t Doane endo ey, abn yet solomon IAel His) glory, pra fir Cal Saw leatid’ ' her means, was not arrayed like one of these. wins or not, ould have a nece ans, 0 (GE) dl but what your nearest relations will get on the witness stand a h ty /nlde to the theatre and back for a m e Nobody can be all things to all men; but a married praca a fest telling how you always was considered a murderous daff ever since chilae for woman is expected to be all things, from a cook to a hourt, 7 hood’s happy hour, ss “ E ppens? As soon as they get you so you have the taxicab to one man. , LAWYERS IN OFFICE. “How do they expect you to get away with It when they tell s | habit good and hard they 60 b s from the Consolidated Gas Nothing frightens a man so much as his wife's dead st- The Foraker Incident teaches once more that the lawyer in politics) /wvhat use is it for Lanny O'lteily to hee Netanya Company,eand charge you a do feet! I've a notion to lence after one of his deflections; it is Ilke a Stone wall with must not take his retainers and his briefs Into public life, Lawyers #ay It was impulse, when there ts your next of kin testifying It's a hat and | take Hs veil and go work io tock ae aos KO ths ‘orse Payton a baruediite railing on tebtiie can't get around {t, nor No, it ain't your friends or enemies that betray ast, 1 on BY Ans bay Dense Mom ener tee UCL SE see through It, nor walk over it, | hold more than their share of the offices, Lawyers assume {0 family, YB YOUF past it's your own thand you s ou eve see him as ‘Hamlet? Nobody can read them After a man has had the same engagement ring returned many eases that they are foreordained to legislate aud to govern, It 1s “Donald De Branscombe Is a thickneck all right, but I notice when he comea | ssiac Boor or emerald herandld dolasnest acne andvaancel by two or three girls he begins to look upon {t as a tallsman, Ra ree re ree t a 5 home with the kale nobody asts him where he got {t, after they look ‘ rere pyre ern Husbands are almost as rare nowadays as solid mahog- q | only lawyers, as a rule, who undertake for pay at one and the game time gorse ne ain't taken anything out and hockal i 3 See ssa iiricae a please, but tonical | Prolatedt Inia] ameeeEnr ora? any, and they have to be watched just as carefully owing to represent private interests and public interests. The thing cannot be “Why these screams? Well, Amy De Branscombe plays Altoona, P song like ‘A Little J he Undertaker’ is su hokum in the to the prevalence of affinities, Devil Company and my sister, that I've been sending 5 ‘Hamlet.’ | ‘Trying to attract a man without appealing to his vanity {s ab . When everybody makes up his mind that {t cannot be done 6 gravey in ‘Ham! | rying to attra a a & nity 1s about as effective done, When everybody P there io, my own sister, gets her to come to the house, and the wa: s worse places than Brooklyn, but where are they, kid?" | as hailing a street car on the wrong corner, will not be so many lawyers in office. The law {s a great and noble pro- * — -_—-. eee i) fesston, but there never was a lawyer who could do bis full duty as a legis- SC¥WOxveSis AMEN Munya y) ge ga is au agnnuununoneuenenannie nmrannrarnrennenengy mugsnnnerrnttaygrtn | @y a CY lator when he had a private fee in his pocket # . e . . i The Best Jokes Th ee : Panhandle Pete Finds Things Coming His Way -:- By George McManus | ‘From the Papers An army officer on trial for intemperance pleads that he was frightened ¢AAMAMAMAITAIM A AATRIAANTR MIR Of the Day. fhto delirium tremens by the bite of a dog, and the medical corps Is giving : - { @xpert advice on the subject. There is reason to belleve that more than one oy (6,70, Jack, I'm afratd {t's Impos- ; than has been frightened Into hydrophobia, but delirium tremens {s another <a eer ye shui fever EY ie ; = vell together. You know I al» i matter. Whatever the verdict of the court may be in this case the public fe vce oe S want my own way 80 much.” should be told how many times a day the accused was ecared, the particular | HE To DO me HO-HUM ! at at aH right, You Sere 5 : r : on wanting it after we were married,” brand of alarm that he was partial to and whether in the progress of the Sabah aa = \ ba an 6 ee —Comle Cuts, affair the dog bite was cured. winboW AND = ay * LECT IN i e S the pleasant-faced woman passed ia hess eee. ee ¥ i — Sear ES it DE WHEN T COME j = t the corner Harris touched his hat cor! \\ r to her and remarked to his com- elters from the People. panion: wv “Ah, my doy; I owe @ great deal to ' that woman.” ; . “Your mother?" was the query, Who Can Tell Abont Yiddiant — bodie n of New York City, who are ——————e ing) tad th To the > out west If gi start? ‘No, my landlady.""—Chicago Journal, Can 3 s, 1 believe, would a no ma the long run. Wi AITER—Did you order beet a la come philanthrop S mode, sir? German that st alled Bt fre ere are i 1 HADNT Grouch —(Impatiently) — Yes, enuntry Yiddis i TAKEN OESE \Wuat's the matter? Are you walting for i To Send Meu West. t ! FP DEY. DONT TINGS , DEY e the styles to change?—Philadelphia t ! € To the Biltor of The © acer [ee D3, AND Ll hy Ula tN Press. ' STOLEN ! | } 1 se f t PLOYED \F OEY Don’ BEEN SOL eae 5 ng the op Bon p iduc B Oi, MU stating the good 4 Apply to Bonrd of Education Nur E-Which do you prefer this j Pacific coast 7 Sonn weather—lemonade or champagne? it many e tepends, i trades 4 e f « where He—-On what? f time, and ver ‘| ‘ he-On who pays for It.—Ilustrated and willing to do a ng t 1 tt tha haven't the means t 40. Now, why & < Shiv ok iE can't the railroads f tng with the sever t ’ eight and Pi teaitenaio F-Grace Is roking as young as out west, and ‘who are trying e are ‘ the same RG Ae . the vus d+ out t 4 ania Ave (hem te She-Yes; but she says ix coats fwalns att. s19posal of desirabie, able-,'n the nearer school? Mra. K he mere every voar-Talleseignle Sip ‘quirer, 4 t ’ ) ‘ eccrine eee ' \ coe \ —_—_——